Do You Offer Your Phone Number in the First Email?

Do you offer your phone number in the first email?

How often do you get people calling it?

Please respond in the comments below.

Talk to you soon!


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  1. 1

    I have had men offering me their number in the first email. That does not mean that I will call them. I like to correspond a bit and then decide whether I want to call or not.I also have had men asking for my number, but I have not always given my number. I have no set rule about exchanging my telephone numbers. It all depends how the IM conversation goes or emails go.
    I would say when I decide to give someone my number I have not had anyone not call me. The guys have always called me.

  2. 2

    Lord, NO. Too early for even the hottest prospects. Plus, with most guys, you’ll open yourself up to texting instead of emailing–they won’t use the number to actually CALL you!

  3. 3

    I like to get to a phone conversation quickly because I have had too many guys who were great at emails and extremely boring when talking to them. I just don’t want to waste time so I typically offer my number in the second email. For me, the telephone conversation is the real screen.

  4. 4

    I wait a few emails and then have a phone call. If I sense from their profile and email communication that we can at least be friendly and have something to talk about, I prefer to cut to the chase and meet them in person to see if there’s actual chemistry–and to see how much they fibbed about their height, weight, and actual appearance. I’m not big on telephone talk unless we’ve developed rapport.

  5. 5

    Never, never, never! And it creeps me out a bit. I’m all about getting to know someone a bit first.

  6. 6
    Karl R

    Not the first e-mail. Probably the second, third or fourth. Generally I expect to do the calling, but I’ll provide my phone number when I ask for hers.

  7. 7

    I don’t give out my number until after we’ve met, and only then if we like each other enough to have a real date. If a man offers his online, that’s okay, but I’m more comfortable with him if he holds off until we’ve chatted a bit first. And if I do agree to call, I block my number until I feel at ease with him.

  8. 8

    I’ve had men e-mail me their numbers in their first e-mail. This shows such poor judgment and attests to such different conceptions of the dating process (from mine), that most likely I won’t respond to them at all. I mean, really, this man would have to be very attractive and have some fantastic profile for me to overlook this.

    I suggest talking on the phone when it seems like there is a chance we might have a meaningful conversation. Usually I can see it within a few e-mails, like others have said.

  9. 9

    I never give my number out first. If we find a mutual interest thru email, I ask for the guy’s number and tell him I don’t give mine out first for safety reasons. No one’s ever had a problem with that and most of them agree a woman needs to be careful.

    One guy told me that there is probably no safety issue with giving out my number, as the creeps and stalkers are probably not using a paid dating service. It made sense to me…a little. I don’t know if Match has free service for a month-at-a-time or whatever. If it’s only a paid service, then maybe this guy has a point. I’d be interested to know what you think about that, Evan (either thru your blog or in Tuesday’s call). Thanks.

    1. 9.1

      Sounds like something a scammer would say.

      “Cat fishing” is a really big cultural underbelly and paying money isn’t an issue for them.   Getting money by luring people who are longing for love is their primary objective.    Fake military men and other scammers inhabit both  paid and free  dating websites.   I’ve encountered them and reported them often on a daily basis.


      Be careful.   Be wise.   Read the anti-scam info on the websites before you engage.

  10. 10

    Absolutely not & I will not reply to a man who emails me with his phone number. It bothers me.

  11. 11

    Having had a couple of BAD experiences on first dates, I never give out my phone number, my full name, my place of employment or my address until I’ve met the person face-to-face to see if he’s legit & trustworthy. Be careful out there, ladies!

  12. 12

    C’mon Evan you know NO ONE offers their phone number in a first email …lol This is a trick question, right ? Even the hottest recon profiles I’ve put up (both men & women) I can honestly say with maybe the exception of 1 or 2 idiots who were probably clueless as to how internet dating “works” it’s just not done. I will say that I’ve found that some women will “offer” their number very quick within (2 or 3 emails) if the guy is a “ten”. They must think just because he’s “hot” he’s not a psycho stalker axe murderer rapist ….lol Why would he have to be he’s “soooo cute” …..he he he !!! Puuhhhleeezzz ladies !!
    Be careful out there guys there’s a lot of crazy desperate women …………….if you’re a “10” 😉

    1. 12.1
      Sherri Lindner

      JB – Actually they do offer their phone number and/or email address in the very first email and suggest I call or email them….I’m a 50-something pretty average gal and it literally happens daily!!!

  13. 13

    Kissyface #9

    Whatever would make you think creeps & stalkers wouldn’t use a paid dating service? Don’t you read the news? Or don’t you think they’d be willing to spend the money? Think again.

    A dating site provides a whole catalogue of single women for creeps & stalkers to choose from – what a dream!

    Not to scare you, just to be realistic. Continue being cautious.

  14. 14

    @Selena #13

    Reread my first sentence. Safety first, always. :o)

    I think the guy’s point was that stalkers & creeps probably would not pay for a dating service when there are plenty of free ones out there. His comment didn’t change how I conduct myself. 😉

  15. 15

    If someone gives me their phone number instead of asking for mine I never call them. Instead I wait for a guy to make the effort to ask me out and to meet somewhere convenient to me before I give my number to make the arrangements. Too many guys give out their number and want women chasing them or call you to chit chat about nothing without an intention to meet or go out. It screens the decent guys from the idiots.

  16. 16

    Sometimes men want to talk via Instant messenger instead of back and forth e-mails. I don’t use any messenger service and I am too busy to keep e-mailing back and forth. So, I offer my phone # stating they are welcome to call me instead. I never hear from them. I have to e-mail them a week later to remind them I am still interested in getting to know them. Then they say, sorry for being busy or they text me stating they will call. Do they have horrible memories or are they just uncomfortable calling a woman who has given out her # when they never asked for it yet?

  17. 17

    Not in my first one, because at that point it’s unclear whether we’ll want to talk again; but, if and when I’ll be dating online again, I’ll probably do it pretty soon. I do not have a landline and, from what I see, a cell number is pretty safe to give out – it gives you zero information on me if you google it, and, should things get really bad, my provider allows me to block a phone number. Plus, from my brief online-dating experience, the alternative is chatting/IMing. Who’s got time for that?
    First few weeks after I started dating online, I spent hours tethered to my computer because everyone wanted to chat; then I learned to separate the wheat from the chaff, give my phone number/email fairly early on to the first category, and quickly lose the second. Made things a little easier.

  18. 18

    I’ve been asked for and shared my cellphone number within a few emails.   Unfortunately, this had led to more texts than phone calls.   Now, I’m a huge “text” person…but I prefer an actual call from a guy, especially if he’s setting up  a date.   Texts just seem lazy.

  19. 19

    HE STALKED ME….that’s the end result….After a few emails, I met the man for a dinner date.    We exchanged cell numbers on the afternoon of the date, so as to be in touch quickly if something changed, or if one of us was late (that was my reasoning).   At that point, I had not given him my last name, where I lived or worked or anything.   I didn’t want to see him again.   “He wasn’t for me,”.   Next thing I knew, he was mailing me presents to my home and showed up once, unannounced!!!!   I freaked out, of course.   What did he do?…track my license plate or what???    I discovered he paid for “reverse cell phone look up” that cost $5.00 !!!!!, which provides basic personal information.   OMG, there is no privacy in the world today with the internet.   Get a Go-Phone that has its own number and use it only for this….That’s what another man online told me to do, because that’s what he does.   

  20. 20

    This is the real issue . If you give out your number it gives a way for them to steal info. This is the real issue . I like to get them because I can do a reverse directory search to see if you live in state or overseas . Be careful about any info you give . It can be turned arround on you .

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