Have You Ever Seen the Same People on Multiple Dating Sites and Rolled Your Eyes?

Have You Ever Seen the Same People on Multiple Dating Sites and Rolled Your Eyes

Have you ever seen the same people on multiple dating sites and rolled your eyes?

Please share your thoughts and experiences below.

To hear what I feel about being on multiple online dating sites, click here.

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  1. 1

    All the time. Of course, I live in a relatively small town so it’s easy to recognize locals, but I also see the same faces from larger metropolitan areas. Not only are they on multiple dating sites, but also looking for dating/relationships on MySpace. That said, I was obviously on the same multiple sites so I guess eye rolling is a little hypocritical isn’t it? 🙂

    1. 1.1
      Steve Miller

      What’s eye rolling to me, is to get off a site, have a 1-2 year relationship, go back on 1 or 2 sites 1-2 years later and see all the same people from years ago.  Sites get stagnant and we all get over exposed.

  2. 2
    Karl R

    No. I’m incapable of that degree of hypocrisy.

  3. 3

    Since my online dating is largely limited to just posting my profiles, as opposed to actively looking at other people’s, I don’t think I have.

    But no, I won’t roll my eyes regardless. I myself, when internet-dating, post profiles on every applicable site I know of.

  4. 4

    i have……and then i realize what i’m doing…..and then i think about people rolling their eyes at me……and then i get depressed. i ordered the new online dating product from Evan – maybe that will help!

  5. 5

    Not only are they on multiple sites, but they have the same story on each one.

  6. 6

    I don’t roll my eyes because I’ve done the same thing myself. I try to post my profile to only one major dating site at a time (I don’t put a limit on the minor ones as their dating pool is so small that it’s really not that significant), but sometimes things don’t quite work out that way (for instance, I had the 6-month free guarantee from Match.com at the same time I had a Yahoo subscription).

  7. 7

    I’ve seen women on different sites and they’re different ages on them …lol some by 5 or 6 years !! For god sakes, if you’re going to lie at least be consistent. And yes we men get tired of seeing the women’s same old tired blury 5 yr.old shots come up on 5 different sites. And I’m not being hypocritical here, just because I’m perusing a site doesn’t mean I have a profile on it. My profile is NEVER up “searchable” (because it’s a waste of time for men) so no women could ever really get sick of seeing my pics.
    Sometimes I’m just curious as to why someone goes up on Match where they basically compress and ruin your photo’s as well as invade your privacy as opposed to Yahoo where they don’t. So I look on Match and see half of the same women that are on Yahoo…lol

    1. 7.1

      Plenty of women search male profiles. There are plenty of girls like myself that don’t want to deal with TONS of messages every day and don’t post public pictures for that reason. No public pic means that you don’t get many messages and you can search and find ones that you like. Great guys can get lost in the slushpile if there are too many emails coming in.

      Plenty of women PREFER to reach out to guys first.

  8. 8

    I have. Obviously, that means I’ve been on them too, but I keep the same profile. The eye rolling comes in when I see the same guy with two very different profiles , but his pictures are the same

  9. 9

    @starthrower68, isn’t that preferable though. Wouldn’t it be odd if they had wildly different profiles on different sites?

  10. 10

    Yes I have rolled my eyes, but then realized that I have also been on more then one dating website. I do see some of the same men on different websites and with the same photo. I updated my photo’s and re- wrote my profile.Also I took myself of some websites and streamlined it to 2 dating websites. I want to make it clear that I am not a serial dater for the sake of just dating and going out. I am on a website in the hopes of meeting someone with whom I can build a LTR. If that is going to take time then so be it. I am not giving up on that….I know he is out there!!

    1. 10.1

      I can relate to your comment as I am doing exactly the same as you are and I don’t think I have to limit myself to just one site.

      1. 10.1.1

        i can’t be the only one thinking that if you’re seeing the same people on multiple dating sites… That means you’re on multiple dating sites too. Hypocrisy? lol

  11. 11

    He might mean, Do you roll your eyes at people who keep using tactics that don’t work? By the way, many of those individuals probably aren’t very attractive. If they are attractive, then maybe they’re extremely demanding, playing the field, or something else. Either way, the typical online dater probably wants to see new, attractive users.

  12. 12

    And why should one have real age in profile?
    There is this saying here “one should never ask womans age”. I think it is rude that sites make you put it there => therefore I put what I want there.
    I’m against it as a principle, since it is no-one elses business than mine, how old I am. Like I said before, my pictures ARE recent and alike, and those pictures tell a lot more how my bodyshape is, what my style is and how old I am (than any number specs would do.)
    And a man can’t see it from a picture, then that is his problem, and I rather not have him write to me at all.
    If he wants to have a number, then again he is someone I don’t want to know, since I am not an object nor on sale.

    Second thing you said:

    “My profile is NEVER up searchable (because it’s a waste of time for men)”

    Funny, I do seach mens profiles.. because I think that why should I wait? The site I use, shows who has viewed your profile, and that has been a good excuse for a few delicious men to write to me.
    Way better than wait passively..
    But then again, I guess you don’t succeed in your pictures?

    Because for what I have heard of those men I meet, women do write to them first, and that happens all the time, just based on what those men look…

  13. 13
    Slim Pickens

    There is quite a bit of overlap between yahoo and match. My eyes would quickly get tired if they rolled everytime I saw a profile listed on both. Since I always read profiles very closely I do look for discrepancies. If someone is saying one thing on one site, and the complete opposite on the other then the red flags start waving and that’s all it takes for me to move on.

  14. 14

    NN ….What I meant to say is “it’s a waste of time for MOST men that aren’t 9’s or 10″s to keep thier profile searchable because no women will write to them. If you think I’m crazy just try putting up an “average guy” profile on ANY site and watch what DOES’NT happen. And yes very few women have “written me first” in the past 10 yrs but my pic can’t be that hideous because the woman I’ve been dating (that I wrote to first) the last 2 months seems to like it as well as many others over the years. My pics are always current as I’m a photographer for a living so it’s nothing for me to throw up a new quality pic every month if I want. That doesn’t mean I’m attractive it just means my pics are quality so you can actually see what I look like…lol “Attractive” is an opinion, a “quality” photo is a fact.

    Even my male recon profiles who ARE “9’s” and “10’s” ( and these were the hottest guys I could find in the country mind you) Get “looked at a lot” (when I have them searchable)but by and large the ones who wink at them and write to them FIRST are NOT the most attractive women on the site. In fact some are’nt close to being in the same league, meaning I would consider them “3’s”
    I’ve heard a rumor that SOME (not all) women online don’t like being REJECTED or ignored(like no response) ….lol especially from a guy who’s a “10” …isn’t that a shame. Getting a taste of your own medicine sucks doesn’t it ?

  15. 15

    Totally irrelevant to me how many sites someone is on. I am on several myself.


  16. 16

    moonsical, don’t you you think someone comes off as a little more desperate if they’re seen on 6 sites instead of 1 or 2 ?? What if you saw someone on 20 sites ?? Just curious ……..

    I’ve been on a couple at the same time but never searchable on either so no one would ever know unless I was stupid enough to email the same woman on BOTH sites …LOL

  17. 17


    You’d only know if someone was on six if you were looking on six sites! Why would the people on the site be any more desperate than the people looking on the sites? I think this is the type of hypocrisy Evan talks about…we are always looking to find fault with people while never seeing the faults in ourselves.

    I personally see nothing wrong with being on as many sites as you want. Unlike most of the women on this blog, I didn’t receive tons of winks or emails on any one site, so I was on multiple sites — same profile — just different sites. And, no, I’m not obese and ugly. I am just an average, presentable, decent middle aged woman of color — not the hot commodity on-line.

    This website actually convinced me to stop internet dating because I just don’t think it’s worth the effort — or as my friend would say the juice just isn’t worth the squeeze!

  18. 18

    Indeed, all their presence on several sites would tell me is that these people are in search of a partner.

  19. 19

    No problem, I’m on several sites myself. I find they each cater to a slightly different demographic, and I don’t find a lot of overlap there. Also, I’m open to long-distance relationships, and I find different sites seem to be more popular in different parts of the country. The same site that has tons of yummy guys in Texas has almost no one in California, and vice versa.

  20. 20

    Kenley, there’s a big difference between “perusing” the people on sites out of curiosity to see who’s on there or maybe to see if someone you emailed on Yahoo IS on 6 other sites etc…..(so I know kinda what I may be up against) as opposed to advertising yourself as available on many sites. It’s NOT hypocritical just because I’m looking…There’s no right or wrong answer. All I know is when I see a woman on many sites “searchable” and advertising her value to me goes down. I’d love to know Evan’s take on it. I’m pretty sure he’s not an advocate on “join as many sites as you can find to up your chances ? “

  21. 21
    Karl R

    -NN- asked: (#12)
    “why should one have real age in profile?”

    Because age is more than just a number. Someone who is substantially older or younger is more likely to be at a different stage of life than you are. Also, someone close to your age is more likely to be close to your level of maturity.

    -NN- also stated:
    “it is no-one elses business than mine, how old I am.”

    Following by that line of reasoning, it should be nobody’s business what level of education I’ve received. I’m more intelligent, more well-read and more articulate than your average college graduate, so nobody is likely to figure out that I didn’t by conversing with me.

    And would you also say that it’s nobody’s business how much a man earns? He might only be earning $40,000 a year, but living the lifestyle of someone who earns $70,000 a year. His style, car and house will all match a person who earns $70,000 per year. Nobody will notice the difference until he files for bankruptcy.

    In the past year I’ve dated one woman who was 10 years older than me, and two who were 11 years younger than me. (That’s about my limit in both directions.) I’m happy to date women who are a wide range of ages. I’m not happy to date women who are so insecure in who they are that they feel the need to lie about it.

  22. 22

    I wouldn’t consider even meeting someone with NN’s philosophy. Not my business, you say? So long and good luck.

  23. 23

    @Karl and JuJu- agreed. Age is more than just a number for the reasons Karl stated.

    Having such a vehement view about not sharing information that the overwhelming majority of people see as commonplace just seems extreme and contrary for its own sake.

  24. 24


    If an individual is worried about appearing “desperate” to a potential mate by using search-able sites and being “seen” on more than one, then they are probably not really ready to mate. Do you go to more than one bar? More than one coffee shop? Of course. We all know different spots have different attributes. On more than one site? Big deal. I hope these opinions from females on this blog expand your idea of what is acceptable. As JuJu said, “their presence on several sites would tell me…that these people are in search of a partner.” Isn’t that the point?

    Pretenses fall by the wayside when you are simply on task.

    Btw, I have had men e me on one site, then pop up on another. They are just being cute with me, I know, but it doesn’t offend me nor do I feel, “desperate,” for trying other sites, and I expect they don’t either!


    Btw…on the age issue…I’m afraid to say this because I’m fearful of the knocks I might get, but…if someone lies about their age on a site I’m a paid subscriber to, I e customer care for the site. It is deliberate misrepresentation and so, misuse of the site. If you do not want to reveal your age, perhaps find a site where it is not required or they do not match by age. That is just how I feel about it. Not to mention being tired of “old daddies” trolling for younger bait. Sorry!

  25. 25

    Actually, moon, I rather like your approach. =)

  26. 26

    Hey thanks JuJu! I find I often concur with your pov as well.


    I do agree re: if people don’t want to post salary, with whom you live, etc. And the sites must, too, as this is optional information.

  27. 27

    What about a guy who’s on just one site but is on it every 2 to 5 minutes? I recently almost went out with a guy but just couldn’t get past the fact that though I only went on the site only once or twice a day at various times of the day, every time I went on it would say he had been on 2 or 5 minutes before. This was after we’d written long messages to one another and had two 4/5-hour phone conversations and were talking about meeting. At that point in the connection with someone I want to feel a guy is “smitten” with me and is not scamming every minute for new prospects. There were other gut feelings that kept me from meeting him finally, but this was a big one. Am I being ridiculous? What do others think?

    1. 27.1

      Honestly, Rose-#27, I would never go by what the dating site says (unless they say it’s been three weeks since their last login. That I would believe.) I’ve noticed problems on many sites, including okcupid and match, where it would say I’d been online when I hadn’t. Match even left my profile up after I had cancelled my subscription and hidden my profile from public view!

      That said, what does it matter if this guy is on the dating site a lot? You should be spending more time on the site yourself instead of getting heavily invested in one guy that you haven’t even met! Five hour conversations? You already wanted him to be “smitten” with you? Good lord, it would be so awkward when you met him! (You say you didn’t.) You should really invest in Evan’s Finding The One Online series, and then follow it.

  28. 28

    I don’t roll my eyes, but interesting how the same people will get “recommended” to you on multiple sites, even when you DON’T live in a low population area.
    If the person is a bad match on one site, it’s interesting that another site will make the same bad match.
    I wonder about the algorithms that are used, since I frequently get matched with people who don’t even want someone of my race.  How does that work. How hard could it be to keep those people off the list?  What a total waste of time.
    I know the comments above are pretty old, but I don’t get why someone would think that they could go on a dating site and not tell anything about themselves.
    I also don’t get the whole point of hiding your profile unless you are taking a break.  I got contacted by someone like that and I couldn’t help but think “married” or “living with someone.”  Esp. since a reasonable exchange that wound up with him sending his number so we could “meet for drinks” that week wound up with no response and the profile being deactivated again (hopefully it’s not sketchy and he met someone else first).
    I still have a lot to learn about all of this…

  29. 29

    I don’t roll my eyes at all. I used to be on multiple sites myself simply because, as others have pointed out, whilst there is some overlap, there are also a lot of people who may only be on one site. Certain sites cater to different people as well. I wasn’t desperate, I simply did it to increase my chances and it worked for me. I got 4 different dates from 3 different sites and the last of which was successful and she’s now my girlfriend

  30. 30

    if I begin dating someone I met online, I do a search on other sites to see if they have profiles posted EVERYWHERE. Something just isn’t right if they have to heavily market themselves and increase their exposure exponentially. Why?? because there is something about themselves that they know is undesireable. Desperation? Serial daters unable to have a real relationship? Unrealistic “criteria” for the person of their fantasy dream….here’s an example….54 year old man looks 64, a few extra pounds, photo of him with his adult daughter (looks about 29) arm around her, cheek to cheek.. looking for female between ages of 29 and 45 ?????? Profile up for 3 years….shocker that they would need to be on a million sites to get just one response. On line dating is creepy!!

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