How Long Have You Been Looking for Love Online?

looking for love online

I dated online from 1997 until 2006. I went on over 300 dates in that time.

How long have you been looking for love online?

During that time, on how many different websites have you had profiles posted?

How many matches have led to first dates?

How many matches have led to relationships?

Share your experiences with other readers below.

I talk about my dating experiences and what I learned from them in my Finding the One Online CD series.

Talk to you soon!


Join our conversation (42 Comments).
Click Here To Leave Your Comment Below.


  1. 21

    I have been looking for 4 years now with this computer and have found very few women with similar interests and preferencse. I have belonged to different internet dating groups and have yet to find what I am looking for. Yet I keep hearing people tell me “She’s out there, just keep looking” or “Your looking too hard”. Well here I am and still single.

  2. 22

    I’ve been doing online dating for about two years. Most of that time has been on Match, but I’ve also subscribed to 3 other services during that period as well. I’ve had about twenty-five first dates, a handful or so that made it to the 2-4 date range, and a couple of guys made it to short-term relationships (nothing longer than three months…I’m rather like Evan in that respect).

  3. 23


    I am not looking at on-line dating when I read this site. I am looking at ways to improve my interpersonal communication skills. Granted, there is a lot here about the internet, but what happens after you get your profile together? It is always interesting to read what others have done and failed or been successful with.

    Do not just look at this as an on-line dating service. I always like to read what others have done to be successful and where they have come up short. I view this site as a place that tells stories of human interaction and how sometimes what we think things are is completely different than what what the other party expects.

    With old man winter howling outside, it gives some of us something constructive to do instead of watching television.

    In general, we all have our problems when dealing with the opposite sex. The on-line thing only goes so far. Eventually you have to meet them in person and have some interaction. I have no problem meeting people, it is just what I do after I meet them. There are were some of my questions lie.

  4. 24

    to Thomas on post #17

    “I hate to leave a bar early, because some women will not leave me alone.” Thomas, buddy, we have to talk!….tell me how you do that!…..For starters, the average bar has more men than women. Do you go to the Jazz lounges?…….

  5. 25

    A small percentage of women will take any man that they can get their hands on. Men are the same way, there are a small percentage that will take any woman that they can get their hands on. For the rest of us, we have to interact with these people.

    The more people you interact with, by the law of large numbers, the more likely you are to actually meet one or two of these people. So if 1 in a 1,000 women have a screw loose, then if you meet 3,000 women, then you are going to run into 3 women that are just plain nuts.

    Travel, meet new people, go to new countries, and just relax.

    You talk about the bar… do not be that guy that stands with his back against the wall glaring every woman down. I have yet to meet any woman that wants to be stalked. If you are in a bar, notice the boobie rub. When a woman walks pass you and you can feel her rub her boobies on you, that is the one that is going to buy you drinks all night. If she walks by and makes eye contact, throw a wink. What is the worst that can happen, she walks away. Do not do it to every girl at the bar, maybe one to three. If a woman sees that you are not hitting on everything with ovaries, a few hours later she will come back and start a conversation and buy you 1 or 2, 5, maybe even 20 beers.

    What ever you do, where ever you go, be at ease. No one likes to talk to someone who looks like they are ready to explode. No one wants to meet a person that watching their every move for the last 3 hours. Relax and chill, have a good time where ever you go. If you are having a good time, others will want in on the fun.

    If you are at the bar and one of your favorite songs comes on the jute box, do not be afraid to sing along. Way too many people are uptight and will not let themselves be free.

    When you go out, go out to have a good time, do not go out to pick up chicks. If your goal is to pick up chicks, there are magazines with lots of Russian women in them for that. When you go to a bar to pick up chicks, there is going to be a lot of stress and awkwardness. If you are there to have a good time, listen to some music, then when you run into someone pretty, things are more natural and flow better.

  6. 26

    Thanx Thomas…..

  7. 28

    I met my bf 3 years ago on Big Church (a Christian website). I’d been on other Christian websites previously without much success. His was the first email I ever received, we went out 3 weeks after emailing each other, and now 2 years on we’re still steady and I have to say he does make me happy. (we still have normal fights just like any other couple)

    However some of my girlfriends haven’t been so lucky with online dating. I guess it’s the individual’s luck.

  8. 29

    About the ‘ageist’ thing- I’m with June. Yeah, forty year old men are going to be up in arms coz young women like us don’t want to date them. But why the hell should I go for some old dude who’s got an ex-wife, kids, and God knows how many other issues when there are plenty of men my age around?

  9. 30

    Sayanta, I heard this response to your question at a singles seminar. “Because the old men have the experience to deal with you, when, you go into your “little girl” syndrome.

  10. 31

    “Sayanta, I heard this response to your question at a singles seminar. Because the old men have the experience to deal with you, when, you go into your little girl syndrome.”

    If that’s the case (and that lg syndrome is bull—t)- old dudes are more perverted than I thought.

  11. 32

    Sayanta, go to L.A. and tell her your thoughts. She is 70+, claims to have 30+ years of research on relationships.

  12. 33

    Now that you’ve brought us back here…[email protected] Steve’s post #15
    “Any other guys out there get winks from women in foreign countries? A friend of mine thinks it is about fishing for green cards?” I don’t blame people for believing that because it is true but do not generalize. I’m a woman from a foreign country and I can’t help it if I find Caucasians attractive. It’s not because of the green card for me but it’s more on the green eyes 🙂

  13. 34

    I also find Caucasians attractive.

    We have something in common.

  14. 35

    RT @Michael post #34
    All right…up five 🙂 Sometimes we look for something that we believe we do not have….I suppose ?????

  15. 36

    Looking for love online is difficult, but if you just keep it up you’ll for sure find your special someone.

  16. 37

    Less than a year.   I started mid-2011.   I only ever used OkCupid.   I went on over 50 first dates. I always got call-backs, but unfortunately I was not so attracted to most after our first date. I am currently in a relationship (about 1 year), and I’m very happy right now. I also made a few friends from the site.

  17. 38

    I started in 2008 while studying in Europe. Despite the eagerness of Italian men, the language barrier made it difficult for anyone not trying to pick you up off the street. I’ve had a couple of flings but no relationships. I find guys contact me for a while, act really interested, then disappear. Sometimes they contact me via messages, progress to getting my phone number, then I never hear from them. One guy recently texted me for a date that same night, which I rejected but suggested later that weekend (which is relaxing my standards but he was trying). I never heard from him & several days later he asked what had happened. Via the dating website. I asked if he had lost my number & he said no.  
      I’m on three dating sites, two free & one paid. The paid one has returned very little interest and while I have to ‘sift’ more through the messages I do get on the free ones, at least I get some! A date is never going to happen if the guys on the site don’t message you! And my profile is pretty similar on all three.

  18. 39

    I’ve been on online dating on & off since 2008, met my 3 ex -boyfriends , always   at the first month of try.
    After broke up with my ex lately, I tried again and it’s been a month, haven’t found anyone i would consider dating long-term though. Now,I am getting uncomfortable   little bit.,is it because I’m getting older? or I’m getting pickier? 🙂
    I’ve got a way more than 200 (winks,emails,favorites and likes) for a month, exchanged some emails,went on one date, the guy turned out   kinda weird, had to block his number after a couple of dates.
    I just read a thread from another web   site, saying that guys think it’s weird an attractive girl stays on a   dating site for   long periods of time, that makes me even more anxious :/, I probably have to take my profile down about 3 months from now, no matter what happens .

  19. 40

    I was on about five years ago and met someone immediately and the relationship lasted about 3 years.   It was not the greatest relationship but it had its positives.   I have been on and christianmingles for almost two years “actively looking,” with no luck.   I agree, it is a meet market but there are obviously a good percentage of quality people.   Just bad luck I guess.   In the past month I communicated with two woman via emails and when they found out that I didn’t text, they vanished.   Unbelievable! How rude of me to ask for verbal communication like a normal human being.  

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