How Long Have You Been Looking for Love Online?


I dated online from 1997 until 2006. I went on over 300 dates in that time.

How long have you been looking for love online?

During that time, on how many different websites have you had profiles posted?

How many matches have led to first dates?

How many matches have led to relationships?

Share your experiences with other readers below.

I talk about my dating experiences and what I learned from them in my Finding the One Online CD series.

Talk to you soon!


Join our conversation (42 Comments).
Click Here To Leave Your Comment Below.


  1. 31

    “Sayanta, I heard this response to your question at a singles seminar. Because the old men have the experience to deal with you, when, you go into your little girl syndrome.”

    If that’s the case (and that lg syndrome is bull—t)- old dudes are more perverted than I thought.

  2. 32

    Sayanta, go to L.A. and tell her your thoughts. She is 70+, claims to have 30+ years of research on relationships.

  3. 33

    Now that you’ve brought us back here…[email protected] Steve’s post #15
    “Any other guys out there get winks from women in foreign countries? A friend of mine thinks it is about fishing for green cards?” I don’t blame people for believing that because it is true but do not generalize. I’m a woman from a foreign country and I can’t help it if I find Caucasians attractive. It’s not because of the green card for me but it’s more on the green eyes 🙂

  4. 34

    I also find Caucasians attractive.

    We have something in common.

  5. 35

    RT @Michael post #34
    All right…up five 🙂 Sometimes we look for something that we believe we do not have….I suppose ?????

  6. 36

    Looking for love online is difficult, but if you just keep it up you’ll for sure find your special someone.

  7. 37

    Less than a year.  I started mid-2011.  I only ever used OkCupid.  I went on over 50 first dates. I always got call-backs, but unfortunately I was not so attracted to most after our first date. I am currently in a relationship (about 1 year), and I’m very happy right now. I also made a few friends from the site.

  8. 38

    I started in 2008 while studying in Europe. Despite the eagerness of Italian men, the language barrier made it difficult for anyone not trying to pick you up off the street. I’ve had a couple of flings but no relationships. I find guys contact me for a while, act really interested, then disappear. Sometimes they contact me via messages, progress to getting my phone number, then I never hear from them. One guy recently texted me for a date that same night, which I rejected but suggested later that weekend (which is relaxing my standards but he was trying). I never heard from him & several days later he asked what had happened. Via the dating website. I asked if he had lost my number & he said no. 
     I’m on three dating sites, two free & one paid. The paid one has returned very little interest and while I have to ‘sift’ more through the messages I do get on the free ones, at least I get some! A date is never going to happen if the guys on the site don’t message you! And my profile is pretty similar on all three.

  9. 39

    I’ve been on online dating on & off since 2008, met my 3 ex -boyfriends , always  at the first month of try.
    After broke up with my ex lately, I tried again and it’s been a month, haven’t found anyone i would consider dating long-term though. Now,I am getting uncomfortable  little bit.,is it because I’m getting older? or I’m getting pickier? 🙂
    I’ve got a way more than 200 (winks,emails,favorites and likes) for a month, exchanged some emails,went on one date, the guy turned out  kinda weird, had to block his number after a couple of dates.
    I just read a thread from another web  site, saying that guys think it’s weird an attractive girl stays on a  dating site for  long periods of time, that makes me even more anxious :/, I probably have to take my profile down about 3 months from now, no matter what happens .

  10. 40

    I was on about five years ago and met someone immediately and the relationship lasted about 3 years.  It was not the greatest relationship but it had its positives.  I have been on and christianmingles for almost two years “actively looking,” with no luck.  I agree, it is a meet market but there are obviously a good percentage of quality people.  Just bad luck I guess.  In the past month I communicated with two woman via emails and when they found out that I didn’t text, they vanished.  Unbelievable! How rude of me to ask for verbal communication like a normal human being. 

  11. 41

    I’m glad this forum is here. I’m a single guy in his early 40s. I simply don’t believe the so called algorithms work or exist. I build a profile asking to find someone no more or less than 10 years of my age and am simply inundated with 20-24 year old profiles to peruse. Wtf.

    Ive never had much luck with online dating, at least in the way I want it. I’ve never been on eharmony simply because every time I try to build a profile it says there is no one to match me with. I guess I’m too poor for that place.

    match was a slog fest of craziness. I did manage to chat with a few real humans, but I’ve got to admit it was tiring to weed out 6000 pounds of spam. Best example built a profile and was immediately liked by apparently a Russian supermodel. I also had a devil of a time narrowing my criteria down to less than 1000 miles away. I understand finding love is difficult sometimes but I’d like to believe I should be able to matched with somebody a little closer to home. If I want to travel that far for love I’d probably go find a wife in Eastern Europe.

    pof. This site I could never figure out if it was just a meeting place for casual hookups or people trying to find a relationship. Again, matching algorithm for age is non-existent. Why does ever dating site think I need a 20 something year old female as my match?! When I say 35-45 you’d think whatever programmer that wrote the code could do basic math.

    Tinder, I’m too old for that stupidity.

    a few other sites I’m pretty sure just used my email to put me on a mailing list for cheaper than dirt viagra delivered from Uzbekistan. Thanks data miners.

    anyways, had some nice chats. An absolute bevy of winks, I refuse to pay an outrageous amount for premium fees to unlock special offers, met more than a few drama drama drama and emotionally scarred people, have never found “the one”

    save your hard earned money people. Every single dating site out there preys on the human need for companionship and if you just shell out a few dollars more for another year of upgraded service love will eventually find you.

    Don’t believe the “testimonials” they’re just there to keep you enthralled to the belief somewhere in the matrix is salvation. Let’s be truthful, for every success story show how many epic failures your companies are responsible for. I’m pretty sure I have a better chance of getting that lotto money I won in Zimbabwe last week in that spam email I received this morning.

    cheers everyone. Have a pleasant day and better tomorrow.

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