How Many Emails Do The Most Attractive Women Get Online?

How Many Emails Do The Most Attractive Women Get Online?

In preparation for my free teleclass next Tuesday, I’m going to be asking two new online questions each day and would greatly appreciate your responses. With your participation, I think we can all learn something fundamental about online dating. So here’s my first question:

How many emails do you think the most attractive women in their 20’s and 30’s get per a week on a major dating site?

Please respond in the comments below.

Talk to you soon!


P.S. Don’t worry – our regular Thursday reader questions will still be answered as long as I’m in town.

Join our conversation (290 Comments).
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  1. 151

    I’m 18 and I get 150+ views a week, and more messages than I can count but I don’t think I’m super attractive or anything. If you weed out the weirdos i’d say I get 85-100 views and 30-50 messages, maybe 60 on a good day. 20-30 year olds probably get more than I do. 

  2. 152

    I joined match on Monday I’m 25 female , I have received in the last five days 100 emails , 60 people who are interested and maybe 60 winks 150 likes on a photos. It’s a bit of a over load and a lot of flittering over 100 different guys and only maybe 2 have got my attention. My roommate also joined the same time as me we are similar in looks but we have a lot of guys who have emailed both of us and said the same thing. I think the concept is great especially if you live in a big city you get the chance to meet people you would otherwise not meet but I don’t think it’s for me.

  3. 153

    I’m a 20 year old female and I got 30 messages my first day with it up. Some creepy, most friendly. I try to respond to most messages because I appreciate people putting themselves out there but if I look at their page and I’m genuinely not interested at all, or if they’re over 30, married, or offensive in what they say to me then I won’t. Most of the messages said something about info from my profile, so I think having interesting bios is a big factor for getting attention

  4. 154

    I just signed up for POF. I’m 32 with 2 kids. Within 3 hours I had 50 emails. It’s been 3 days and I have gotten 150 emails so far (200+ who want to “meet me”). Most are just guys going “Ur hot” or “How are you?” 2 maybe 3 guys stood out from all of those, and even those guys didn’t say anything spectacular. It’s quite overwhelming. I do feel bad not responding to the guys that actually take the time to write something and mention things from my profile. But I just don’t have the time to respond to them all. So I’m not responding at all, unless I’m interested. So far I’ve only responded to 2 guys. I’m not really sure how many I want to respond to- that wold be overwhelming as well.

  5. 155

    I put up my profile around four in the afternoon, and by the next day I had 746 views, 200 friend requests,188 live likes.

  6. 156

    I’m confused. Are people talking about the emails they get in their main inbox (like Yahoo and gmail [not including daily matches)] or emails from the inbox?

  7. 157

    I’ve received 125 emails in 3 days and 482 vies. I’m a 30 year old woman.

  8. 158

    This is depressing but true. I am an average-looking, slim woman in my early 30s. Many of the messages I get are from men who are much older, can’t speak English well, and/or are overweight. And most of the men I initiate contact with don’t respond. It does wonders for my self-esteem. 

  9. 159

    I started my online dating profile about 10 days ago.  I don’t think I am hot, but I am not bad looking myself.  In the beginning, I got over 10/day, and now I have 60 messages and about 272 likes.  

  10. 160

    Wow, I’m looking at all these women…even older ones getting 100+ responses. I consider myself an average girl. I’m 31 yrs, never married, no kids, petite 5’0, ethnically South Asian, medium build, face more on the “cute” side. I have mostly face shots on my profile. No “hot” pics as such. My profile is short and light-hearted. I am slim-average (not skinny), not overweight or chubby but it seems my profile gets as little emails/hits as overweight girls.
    I only get 4-5  emails per week and sometimes not even that. There are dry spells. I’ve been rated “high” on OK cupid by 170 people….but the total number of emails is less than 100 in ONE YEAR. Hm….
    Also, I never ever get lewd messages. No one calling me “sexy” or “hot” or if I want to have  a “good time” with them. Just really boring Hi, How are you? Cute smile…etc. 
    Where does that put me? Below average? I hardly get asked out in real life and even online it is just a few people. I have gone on only one date so far from my Ok Cupid profile and did not like the guy.

    I’ve never been called “ugly” in my life…mostly just “cute”, rarely pretty and only once beautiful. But from my lack of prospects, online and offline, I would be classified as unattractive, I suppose. 

    If someone is attractive enough to get 500 emails in a week–they probably don’t even need to be online. It seems the top 10-20% women get most of the attention and for us ordinary or below women, the traffic is slow.

  11. 161

    I’ve been on for 48 hours, and I’ve gotten 125 messages so far. Also 74 winks, 76 “likes”, 19 “favorites.” I’m an attractive, well-educated 24-year-old.

    I came to this thread because I Googled to see if this is normal — it is overwhelming to filter through so many emails when clearly most of the people haven’t looked to see whether what I’m looking for matches their description.

    It also makes me feel mean to delete so many messages without responding, but there’s no way to respond to everyone. I’m only going to respond if we seem to have a lot in common and you’ve made the effort to say something substantially more substantive than “You’re cute! Got any plans this weekend?” 

  12. 162

    I’m almost 20 and about 130-150 new people send me messages every week (about 20 a day)

  13. 163

    I’ve been told that I am very attractive and I just signed up for a dating website a week ago. I’ve averaged 70 new messages a day.  I’d imagine that more attractive women out there could easily get 1000 messages the first week. After that, it probably tapers off a bit. It also would depend a lot on the nature of the woman’s photo, and if it is a “hook up” dating site or one geared toward people looking for a serious relationship. In my case, my photo is fairly conservative and it was Plenty of Fish. I do have a blonde friend who signed up for a site in Spain and got 1000 the first day! Blows my mind. Now where’s my bleach… 🙂

  14. 164

    I joined major dating site and within 2 weeks i received 63 messages, 
    I had no idea that many men would be interested..
    I guess I don’t give myself enough credit, I’m my worst 

  15. 165

    I am 48 and just upgraded my profile on Mon and received over 97 new emails by Sat. In 36 hours I had received over 70. I did, however, do an extensive search and send out over 20 short emails to guys I was interested in. I took the time to have decent (untouched, realistic) pictures taken and posted 15 so guys could see what I looked like. I also spent a few hours on my written profile to be sure it was accurate, approachable, warm & friendly.

  16. 166

    I just wanted to follow up on my above comment and say that the 97 emails I received in 5 days were received from only one dating website (I am only on one), and that 90% of the emails were from decent guys looking for committed relationships, and were within my stated age group (45-55 yrs). I received very few emails from guys who were older than 58, and none appeared to be looking for casual hook-ups.
    All the pictures I posted were recent and taken within the last 3 months. I had the pictures taken with a fairly decent camera and chose three different outfits/looks which portrayed my personality and style. I did not post pictures that were indecent, revealing, slutty or suggestive. They did, however, show off my best features.
    In my written profile I only listed what I was looking for vs what I am not looking for. I believe many people make the mistake of listing too many absolutes, must haves, and deal breakers that come across as rigid and unapproachable.
    My age also falls within the range of the fastest growing demographic for divorce in the US. I was pleasantly surprised at the number and quality of single guys available!

  17. 167

    I’m a 40 year old attractive woman with a good profile and I barely get any. Maybe 1 or 2 a day. Not sure what I am doing wrong. I would say 20’s 30’s maybe 10

    1. 167.1

      I thought I was the only one that had slim pickings to chose from.  I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily attractive, maybe cute but that’s it. Like HKP, I’ve found people misrepresent themselves on the online sites.
      Like the guy who says he’s 6″ tall but his profile pics show he’s around maybe under 5″2 (there’s nothing wrong with being that height but be honest).

  18. 168

    I’m 49, have no fat, great figure, I would say 7.5 for looks.  I get 50 views per day on average over a 6 month span.  I get about 10-15 Likes/Winked/Favorited on Match.  I just hit 9,000 views in a little over 5 months.   I did the calculation, and I’m there is a ridiculously small chance I will date them.  Like .10%.   I’ve gone on 40 first dates since starting online dating a year ago.   It’s just not working.  The men lie, their pics look NOTHING like them in person.   Or they don’t know how to behave like men. 

  19. 169

    I joined a dating website for the first time this monday, September 2, 2014. And I have a whopping 175 messages is three days! I don’t consider myself to be super Duper attractive model status or anything. But eHarmony definitely have a lot of good people to pick from.  

  20. 170

    I didn’t get so much interest on but I found on POF i get maybe 1 – 2 messages a day.  I’ve sent out a few “flirts” on there but it really depends.  Sometimes I’ll get a response and sometimes I won’t.  I find the guys that do respond don’t really have interest in me as a person, they just talk about themselves. After a few one sided msgs I move on and stop communicating.

  21. 171

    Im an average 31 year old on Match. I received about 15 emails a day and 10 winks.

  22. 172

    I’m doing research for an article and I, along with my roomate, just made a dating profile last night around this time. I’m 24 and attractive and have a fun profile and I have 274 messages waiting for me, along with 749 “likes” all from around the southeastern part of the US. Her page is exactly the same in responses.

  23. 173

    I consider myself an average looking girl in Pittsburgh and I got 400-500 messages in 3 days. That’s including back and forth conversation though.

  24. 174

    I’m starting to believe that only white women get this type of attention I’m an attractive 22 year old black woman and sometimes go a whole week with no winks or messages, etc. I get plenty views buts that’s it. I noticed most pages I look at say they are only interested in white women. 

  25. 175
    Mark Ribbands

    Good morning,
    I’m not sure if this (undated) thread is current or not, but my take – gained from a few fascinating conversations with attractive ladies I met IRL whilst I was dating some time ago – is that I would remain unsurprised if a pretty, confident, intelligent woman received over 1,000 mails in the first week of membership.
    It sounds ridiculous; and it is.
    The vast majority of the messages would be entirely stupid, with zero chance of success. (And yes, I was shown some, which was great fun, even if approaching a guilty schadenfreude-type pleasure 🙂 )
    And then a significant minority of the men become irritated by not receiving a response, thinking they were perhaps the only one who wrote. A clear lack of nous, which is not attractive. And so it goes on …

  26. 176
    Michael P

    Wow. Bit of a loss for words here. So thoroughly disheartened in general, thought I’d give online a try.

    I live right near Boston and have a decent job. I did not graduate from college (didn’t make it past Junior), I’m 37 years old, 5’6″, and I’d say about 25lbs overweight. I probably could make time to get better but have chosen to spend time with my old dog and work on my house to sell it when she’s gone (and I work 11-12 hours a day). I’m losing my hair at a rapid pace; tried a clean shave but I have a pretty messed up looking skull unfortunately! Below average looks, best way to explain is sort of a cro-magnon/neanderthal type heavy brow, sizeable nose, sunken-in chin. Bad complexion, scarring from it over the years. And the best part, not mentioned on my profile as it’s pretty difficult to discuss but I’m learning to live with it, is the complete lack of possibility of sexual intercourse physically.

    You would not believe how much it hurts to see passion between two people for each other (whatever gender or preference) and know that’s something you’ll never experience in any normal definition or more importantly, be able to provide a partner.

    I’ve been married, and divorced. I married the first woman who would see me for more than one date, as at age 26 never having a SO I was almost resigned. That was a complete disaster and the worst years of my life.

    I thought I may have a chance in an online setting to show that I may have some redeeming qualities before being immediately dismissed for appearance but that is, from what I’ve read, certainly not the case. And I can’t blame anyone, because I would want to be with someone attractive as well.

    I suppose it was worth a try; and for what it’s worth I do work on many things weekly with a therapist and am on 4+ pretty hefty medications to help with depression/anxiety. Quite a stigma (not that it matters), but totally necessary to live day to day and hold a job. At least I quit smoking recently — not for health but due to cost, but that still counts?

    My stats over three months: 1 email (fake), 1 email (real but incredibly far away), no likes, no winks, and 6-10 profile views a week. I’ve sent about sixty emails and only to people that are interesting and their photos don’t completely make my skin crawl, generally if numbers have to be assigned, 5’s or 6’s, I take a risk on a “7” if there’s a real profile connection.

    Anyway. Good luck out there all. Wanted to share my experience from the other end of the spectrum.


    Michael P

  27. 177

    An attractive 40 year old I know said she gets 25-30 interactions per week (winks, likes, and emails combined). She lives in the middle of nowhere. A young hottie in a big city… I have to image gets twice that.

    I’m also curious about sites… OKCupid versus Match. I’m an old bald guy. I got almost no responses on, but in my first week on OKCupid I was working to keep up with everyone who wanted to connect. I didn’t count my contacts, but I had 4 women who were interested in having a phone chat with me in my first week. I can’t imagine what the young hottie would deal with there.

  28. 178

    Hi, mine goes in spurts…I am a just over 50 woman and I get some days between 5-10 emails.(not including winks, smiles or “I’m interested in u” ect….
    Some other days it may be only one or two.
    On average about 30-40 max a week.

  29. 179

    I get about 80 messages per day. I am a female in my mid 20s and I don’t show any cleavage etc. I don’t think my photos are good quality..

  30. 180

    You have it all wrong. The most fat, disgusting women with kids get about 50-60 likes and emails A DAY. The most attractive young chicks get at least 5x that. The online dating pool is about 95% male. It is even written that pictures of girls who are no longer on that site are kept up there to keep dudes paying. Its even said that dating sites will buy girls pictures, or use pictures of their girlfriends to keep a false ratio going. Online Dating sites, your better off trying your odds on a Marine Corps Base….

    1. 180.1

      Um, I’m not sure where you’re getting this “information,” @Bill. I’m not doing online dating at the moment but last time I took part, I (not fat, not disgusting, no children) received about 10 contacts/ week for the first month after I joined and then about 2 contacts/ week ~ mostly winks or just a “hi” ~ after that.

      Maybe the “most attractive young chicks” receive 50/60s likes and emails/ day but I don’t think it’s the case for the rest of us. Would any of you other ladies care to chime in with your personal experiences…?

      I’ve mentioned this elsewhere on this site: one friend of mine married a guy she met online and another is currently in a serious relationship with a fellow she met on Match. So, these men seem to have been pretty chuffed about their experiences online because it led them to true love. I’m not saying OLD works for everyone ~ I’m currently single after having been online for about a year ~ but some women AND MEN do find their partners that way so why not at least use it as one possible method of meeting new people to date?!

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