My Valentine’s Day Gift to You

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.

I know, I know…

Valentine’s Day is silly. Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday.

But you have to admit, days like Valentine’s Day, your birthday, and New Years Eve DO make you stop and think: “What do I REALLY want out of life? And what am I doing to get it?”

I’ve been thinking a lot about this myself.

I really want to get better at guitar…but I always find an excuse not to practice.

I really want to buy a house…but I’d rather do anything on a Saturday than drive around Los Angeles.

I’d really like to have a family…but…okay, that’s not so difficult to find motivation!

Still, you get my point: we all get happier when we take the necessary steps to achieve our goals.

No effort = no reward. It’s not a very complicated formula.

…MY way of online dating will give you a very different experience than your previous ways of doing it.

So if you already have a date for Valentine’s Day, I applaud you. You’re in the game, you’re taking chances, and you’re open to whatever tomorrow brings.

Now stop reading this blog post.

This email’s for everybody else, who, like me, will be staying IN on Valentine’s Day.

If you’ve been reading for awhile, you know that I’m a big believer in actionable steps, as opposed to wishful thinking. I believe you have to work to find love, the same way you have to work to find a job when you’re unemployed.

It may not sound “fun”, but it’s far more effective than the alternative.

Which is why I am a noted and unabashed advocate of online dating. Not because it’s perfect, but because it creates opportunity in your busy life – a busy life that doesn’t currently involve meeting single men.

“But,” you might think, “I’ve TRIED online dating. And it really didn’t work. The men that I wanted didn’t want me. The men who DID want me were liars, and flakes, and players and losers. I found it frustrating and dispiriting. Why would I go back?”

I’ve got two answers to your question

You go back because without online dating, you’re barely dating at all. One date every three months is not a love life. You need more opportunity. Match provides it.

You go back because you’ve never tried online dating MY way.

And MY way of online dating will give you a very different experience than your previous ways of doing it.

Assuming that something is wrong with when you don’t find love in 3 months, is like assuming that something is wrong with 24-Hour Fitness when you don’t drop 20 lbs in three months. Both companies work fine. If you’re not getting results, the only thing you can do is look in the mirror.

Those who work out often go to a personal trainer to get the most out of their performance. They quickly learn that there are better ways of doing things:

Proper form is more important than higher weights; high intensity cardio instead of low intensity cardio, and so on.

You may have gone to the gym for 5 years, but if you never used it RIGHT, you wouldn’t even know what you COULD get out of it.

Not until a professional stood over your shoulders and gave you personal suggestions. Which is ironic, because a all the machines looked pretty simple and straightforward. It would seem that ANYONE should be able to get results at the gym.

Not quite.

This is why I developed Finding the One Online, a comprehensive audio system designed to attract more men and higher quality men in online dating.

Over the course of 7CDs, with a 180 page transcript and a 35 page workbook, I give you EVERY SINGLE TRICK that I give to my $2000+ one-on-one coaching clients.

And because it’s going to be a lonely Sunday for both of us — and because I just relaunched my site to focus entirely on smart, strong, successful women (check it out at!), I wanted to offer you a special Valentine’s Day gift.

The normal cost of Finding the One Online is $297, but for you, on this holiday weekend, I’m taking my signature program and slashing the price to $197.

Better yet, you can get it for only $66/month. Really. For the same cost of dinner and a movie or a new shirt, you can invest in your long-term future.

The best part is that by dispelling the disempowering perceptions you have about online dating, all of your frustration and confusion will be gone — leaving you a clearer path to love. Not to mention insider tips on how to make men do what YOU want them to do. (That’s my favorite part!)

This three-day sale starts NOW and runs until 12am, and runs until Monday, February 15th at 11:59pm. After that, Finding the One Online returns to its normal retail price, still an incredible value for the seven hours of coaching it provides you.

Naturally, if you’re away with your sweetie this Valentine’s Day, you can ignore this.

But if you’re at home (like I am), and want to be able to spend NEXT Valentine’s Day on a romantic getaway (like I do), I couldn’t recommend a stronger starting point than Finding the One Online.

Act now, jumpstart your love life, and save $100 instantly, before Monday night.

Write down this coupon code: vday2010 – and put it on your calendar to take advantage of this once-a-year special offering:

Click here to get started:

Warmest wishes,

Your friend,


Join our conversation (39 Comments).
Click Here To Leave Your Comment Below.


  1. 1
    A Reader

    If I could afford to drop $200 or even $66 every month just on trying to find a date, my life would be pretty good. As it is, I can’t even afford, and even if I could, there is NO WAY I would ever post my photo on a dating site, so it would be a waste of money anyway. Guess I’ll just have to keep waiting for Mr. Right to come along — or not.

  2. 2

    Thanks for the great advice Evan! I thought your readers might be interested in learning about the DateCheck $1000 Dream Date Contest! 3 lucky winners will win their dream date!

  3. 3

    A Reader;
    There are free dating websites out there.
    The only dating websites I am on are both FREE and I go on a minimum of 4 dates a month. and (the last one is for So Cal residents.
    I’ve met some great guys on Plenty of Fish. I’ve met some not-so-great guys also… but you shouldn’t use the cost as an excuse not to try when there are free options available to you.

  4. 4
    A Reader

    Melissa — do you have a photo posted on these dating sites? I keep reading that if you don’t have a photo no one will ever contact you, and I don’t want my picture all over the Internet. If I can join without posting a photo, I would consider it.

  5. 5

    Hey…what would you all think if I said I was going to be alone on Valentine’s because my “boyfriend” of 15 months, decided he’d rather go with his daughter to the beach the whole weekend…I’m, 40, he’s 45 and the daughter is 11…great excuse for taking up Evan on his offer, no?

  6. 6

    I’ll answer for Melissa — yes, Reader, no one (men) will ever contact you without a photo. Why? Because there are MILLLLLLLLLIONS of women who have photos up. There’s no incentive to write to someone who doesn’t when there are soooooooo many attractive women who have photos posted. And no one will do anything with your picture (most people don’t have that fear anymore — it’s not 1996 anymore),which they could have gotten off Facebook or MySpace or wherever. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about — everyone on there is single too! And is showing their face! Jump in!

  7. 7
    A Reader

    Eh, I think I’ll pass. I know it’s not 1996 anymore but I still don’t want my face all over the Internet. I don’t like the idea of people knowing what I look like when I don’t know diddly-squat about them. Like I said, if it means I don’t do online dating, then oh well. But thanks for the honest response, David.

  8. 8


    After 15 mos. together why weren’t you invited to go to the beach for the week-end also?

  9. 9


    I have to agree with David. I’m a woman, and when I was on those sites, I almost never responded to guys who wrote me if they didn’t have a photo up.

  10. 10
    A Reader

    Oh, I should also mention I’m not on Facebook or MySpace either, for exactly the same reason.

  11. 11

    To Selena @ 8,

    I was invited, but I refused to go because it would be an unconfortable place, sleeping on the floor and with one bathroom for about 8 people (his sister and her husband and their 2 kids would also go). I said I would not put up with that, and I offered to do something else for the weekend, but he still declined in favor of Yucky Beach. Oh well.

  12. 12

    Sounds like this isn’t the guy for you. Shrug.

  13. 13


    Honestly, that sounds kind of high-maintenance. He offered, you refused. Of course his daughter is going to be a big part of his life. If you want to be a part of his life too, I don’t think it can always be under the precise circumstances you want considering you’re dealing with a guy who’s got a family already.

    It sounds like you would do better with guys in their 20s/early 30s who don’t have families yet.

  14. 14

    You can post your photo when you open your account and hide it if you don’t want it displayed to the whole world.
    But you don’t have to pay online dating. Plenty of Fish is free and I had good and bad dates part of online dating experience, I did not leave my picture for the whole world to see. I hide it everytime I log-off.

  15. 15

    @ #13

    I wouldn’t call Vanessa particularly high maintenance. Sleeping on the floor and sharing one bathroom with 6 or more other people doesn’t sound like a fun weekend getaway to me either. At least once out of college. 🙂

    I figured the father had his daughter every other weekend, Vday happens to fall on *her* weekend and he made these plans with his sis as something fun for his daughter where she could also play with her cousins. Vanessa sounds pissed that he isn’t doing anything romantic with her this weekend. But Vanessa is a grown up; she can plan something romantic with her bf anytime, why pout over one commercial holiday?

    And after 15 mos. together she knows the deal about dating someone with kids – particularly part-time kids. Sooo…is it really the V-day plans that are bothering her? Or is she getting burned-out dating a dad?

  16. 16


    Yeah, I completely agree with your last two paragraphs.

  17. 17

    does it not sound lame to say to his sister and his daughter’s cousins “sorry, me and my daughter can’t come on vacation with you because I have to take my gf out to dinner for Valentine’s day”? Even if it were your birthday, there is no reason he can’t live a life of abundance and do both — spend time with his family and daughter and do something else with you 2-3 days earlier or later — especially since you were invited. Nothing he has done indicates that he does not love you or consider you a lower priority; rather, it indicates he is a good dad.
    If there is a general absence of romance and affection, that is something to discuss with him, otherwise, I suggest you tell him “I think I’ll pass on going, but I hope you and your daughter have fun. I’m a bit bummed I won’t get to see you on Valentine’s day; can we do something special another day?” You give no evidence to suggest he won’t man up. If he does not, maybe then take Evan’s offer, but there is a difference in being disappointed in not seeing your BF on Vday and being disappointed IN him.
    You are saying “I am dissapointed in my boyfriend for accepting his sisters offer to take a mini-vacation to the beach with his daughter and nieces instead of saying no and taking me out for Valentine’s day.” I would speculate (could be wrong) that the reason for this trip is because the kids have Monday off of school due to President’s day; ergo, this is an exceptional circumstance, not something that demonstates a lack of value for you and your relationship. An appropriate counter offer is “have fun. Can we celebrate Valentine’s day on Wednesday?” To me, it sounds like your bf is a good Dad and a good bf for inviting you, not a negligent guy who does not care.

  18. 18

    To everyone,

    Thank you all for your insight and comments. I appreciate it. I am a single mother, my daughter is 4 years old, and I am solely responsible for her, as her deadbeat dad lives in another country. My now ex-bf and I have had these kind of issues for 5 months now, we have been in therapy for 5 months and even the therapist told him he needed to put our relationship first. He had not been respecting the limits of our relationship, and I dumped him. Yes. today, on Valentine’s. Thank you again to everyone.

  19. 19

    Wow. I don’t think I’d bother with therapy for a relationship so shaky so early on. Guess you can say you gave it your best shot though. Happy V-day to you and your daughter Vanessa.

  20. 20

    @A Reader, if you post your photo on one free dating site, it is not “all over the Internet.” It is on that one free dating site.

    The argument will be, “But it has the POTENTIAL to go all over the Internet.” And that’s about as much potential as we all have to be struck by lightning while hopping on one foot. Sure, it’s POSSIBLE… but come on. How special ARE you? Are you a celebrity? Leader of the Free World? What is anyone’s motivation to take YOUR photo, copy it, and post it “all over the Internet”?

    Someone who is crackerjack at computers could probably find a way to hack Evan’s site (hey, if they can hack DOD and the CIA, it’s certainly possible) and find out who our anonymous friend “A Reader” is by this one blog thread. All of our computers’ unique identifying numbers would be there, and from then it’s extremely easy to identify the service provider and even come up with a name and address of the subscriber. IF you are unbelievably motivated to do so.

    Again… why would anyone bother? People have better things to do with their time on dating-related sites. Like find a girlfriend or boyfriend.

    Sorry, but “I don’t want to join any dating sites or social networking sites where I might meet a suitable mate because putting a picture or two up is too fraught with peril” is not a valid reason. It’s an excuse. I’ve met FBI agents, federal air marshals, public school teachers — all kinds of people online whom you’d think WOULD have an excuse to want to hide their identity. But they don’t, because A) they are not prohibited from doing so by their employers or government agencies, and B) they know it’s the best way with their busy schedules they are ever going to find a date.

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