What Percentage of Your Online Dates Lied About Their Age, Height, Weight or Photo?

What percentage of your online dates lied about their age, height, weight or photo?

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  1. 21

    I’d have to say that it’s about 60% against telling the truth for weight/photo in my experience. Usually it’s an older picture posted and some remark relating to them “just joining the gym again” or “just started running again” or something like that to cushion the fact that they’re no longer the same, uh, specimen of fitness that the pictures supposes them to be.

    Of course there’s always one extremist in the group. Such as the guy who posted his roommate’s pictures instead of his own. Imagine my surprise when instead of being the guy I thought I was getting to know so well on IM’s and in email, there was this complete stranger. The stupid thing is that his roommate wasn’t going to make Brad Pitt go weep in the corner by any means. Nor would the pictures of the real guy have scared me off, had he sent them. Instead I told him we had no chance because all he’s shown me was that he was unable to be honest with me.

    I don’t understand why people lie, truly I don’t. And I say this as a 40+ single mother of three who is light years away from fitting the top ten list of any guy in my dating age range on any site. It’s not as if we’re not going to work out pretty quickly that someone’s been less than honest and what kind of base for a relationship is that?

  2. 22
    Dating Headshots

    Outdated dating profile photos (or sometimes even altered photos) are the biggest complaint from online daters that I hear. The photo is the first thing people look and because of it’s importance it’s the one thing that probably gets lied about the most. (That and maybe height for guys) You’re just being deceitful if you offer up a 5-10 year old photo of yourself as the real thing. Like has been said before “You didn’t think I would notice?!”

  3. 23

    I would say at least 75%+ of the women I dated lied about their age and the same percentage had an older photo posted, with some photos at least 10 years old. Some lied about their education. The last one I dated lied about her age, education, height and had 5 photos all of which were from 5 to 10 years old.

  4. 24

    Lied about their education how? And why?

  5. 25

    JuJu…She said she has a 2 year Associates Degree in her profile but slipped up in conversation by revealing she never attended college. The reason why she lies about herself is because she doesn’t feel good about who she is…..low self esteem.

  6. 26

    I’ve only met four men in person from online, but they were all truthful about their appearance. Actually, three were more handsome in person and the fourth looked exactly like his picture.

  7. 27

    I think that people lie (or intentionally misstate the truth) because they’re hoping the person they’re dating will fall in love with them before the truth comes out, and hoping that it’s too late to change how they feel about you. Obviously, some of the parameters are qualitative (e.g. body type), rather than quantitative (e.g. height). One person’s “slender” might be another person’s “average,” but there’s no denying the yardstick, unless you play games with lifts and stilettos and such.

  8. 28

    Evan, I’ve bought your book.. but since I am in Europe, I didn’t see the point of calling there for it but I downloaded it.. =)

    The fact is, I am not exactly serious in finding anyone at the moment. I work in a small place where I would never ever date anyone, too small a circles.
    I don’t want to stay here, but having a relationship at home (250 km away) when I am home only 2 days in a week.. not any relationship can handle it, that is the big thing, not my profile.

    Anyway if someone really is interested my profile, they write to me.. and if I am online, I get some 10-20 approaches daily anyway – those are based on my pictures, I guess? =D Men don’t evidently read? Or that (only negative thing in my profile,) is well hidden..

    And the fact is, I don’t want to take it off.. being a bit like Lance here.. more than a bit kinky.. I just don’t see how anyone wishwashy would be interesting to me. Oh, I have had couple of men whom I have seen looking at my profile, and not answering me if I wrote to them.. but in that they just proved that they are uninteresting, and I wouldn’t have that important part in common anyway.

    The fact just is.. I can date a kinky curious man, but I could never date a total vanilla, who is against role playing etc.

    But do I say that in my profile.. Nope, I’m entitled to privacy.. like with age, education and weight/height.

  9. 29

    Still to Evans comment.. Did you notice that I said, there ARE recent photos, that show what I am like – so I don’t put out spesifications.
    I’m not a car, nor an object – and I refuse to do that.

    A whole body picture and few facial pictures say tell it how it is a lot better.

  10. 30

    It’s like what Dr House says: “Everybody Lies”!

  11. 31

    Re: NN’s attitude toward “personal” details… height, *weight,* hair/eye color, whatever, sure, but occupation? People’s jobs are a big, important part of their lives, even if they’re not what you really want to be doing with your life long-term, and an individual’s choice of (or hopes for) and attitude towards their work is one of the most interesting, individuating, and attractive things about a person–at least to me! Coming from a female perspective, here, mind, but nonetheless…I can’t say I’d blame a guy for passing someone up who’s not interested in naming whatever it is they spend the majority of their days doing.
    It’d certainly bother me if someone was at all cagey about it–even if they’re a janitor at McD’s, I want to know about it pretty quick and honestly. It isn’t as if you’re doomed to be in that line of work FOREVER, and particularly with the state of the economy in the US sometimes you have to take what you can get… so just spit it out and then move on to what your dream job fifteen years down the road is. It’s fine. Really.

  12. 32

    Almost everyone I’ve gone out with looked way better in their picture- but hell, they probably said the same about me.

  13. 33
    Just Me

    I am 51, and most of my family and friends said not to put my REAL age, because I look more in my late 30’s, so cut about 5 years off my age, and now I regret it. I met this guy over a dating site and we’ve talked on the phone. In the first phone call he asked me how old my son was, and I said I never say how old he is, because people start doing the math…so he should have known saying my REAL age was a problem for me…. But in another phone call he found out my last name and went on a site that would give my appx age….and called me. He was upset, and I didn’t realize until then how damaging it is to lie on a profile. I just thought it was a GIVEN that older women wouldn’t want to say how old they really were… When I told a bank clerk how old I was one time (talking about dating younger men) she said, “Really? Don’t EVER tell them how old you are, then!!” Because I didn’t look my age…. But now I wished I had just put my real age because it’s killing me that he feels like I had lied to him (even though I DID) I guess I just thought all of us would stretch the truth sometimes about our age…

    So, if you are like me and have a profile without your REAL age, think twice. I cannot change what has happened, but wish I could.

    I just didn’t know it was that big of a deal…. But to some it is…so don’t do it. You might be losing the love of your life because of it.

  14. 34

    If you look younger than your age, your profile should say “I know everyone says they look younger than they are, but just look at my photos–they’re all from the past year” (or whatever). Then, make sure your photos are all that recent. If you’re really 40 but look 30, people will be able to see that. If you’re really 40 and look 40 (but think you look 30) people will be able to see that too.

  15. 35
    Karl R

    Joe said: (#34)
    If you look younger than your age, your profile should say I know everyone says they look younger than they are, but just look at my photos they’re all from the past year

    Even if she’s 51 and looks 18, that’s still cliche. My profile only states how recent my photos are. I leave it up to the lady to draw her own conclusions.

  16. 36
    just me

    I understand that, but the reasoning behind my sister’s saying to put a younger age was to not get the 50 cut off. The guys do it too, and have worse photo, even with hats because they are bald, etc… Even this guy said on the second phone call that he took anti-depressents and pills for his anxiety disorder, besides the fact that he is only separated…not even divorced. I REALLY didn’t think it was that big of a deal about age, when they don’t ask for other more important things, like are you on drugs??

    So, even though I was in the wrong, there were other things that maybe other people would hesitate in putting in their profile because they are afraid they will be judged wrong… that weren’t required, but age you have to put in… I think having a stomach full of pills because of problems is more important to ‘share’ on your profile than AGE…eh?

    Thanks for your letter.

  17. 37
    Karl R

    Just Me said: (#36)
    “the reasoning behind my sister’s saying to put a younger age was to not get the 50 cut off. The guys do it too,”

    I understand and sympathize. Almost everyone else is lying, nobody discloses everything (partly due to limited typing space), and it penalizes you if you don’t do the same.

    But look at it this way: Who would you rather date, one of the 90% of men who are lying, or the 10% who are honest? Which group do you think is more likely to be turned off by an outright lie?

    I’m not condemning what you did. I’m just saying it’s a lousy strategy. Lying can get your foot in the door, but it can get you kicked out of a relationship even faster. Even if it doesn’t, he’s less likely to trust you (you’ve already lied to him once). Cliches (“I’m look younger than I am”) reduce your chances of even getting your foot in the door.

    There is another way. Initiate contact yourself. Wink or send a brief e-mail. You’ve suddenly bypassed all the filters that cut off at 50, or 45, or 40. Now your picture is in his inbox, and he’ll be taking a good look at it before he ever sees your age.

    That allows you to solve the problem while telling the truth.

  18. 38

    Has anyone ever tried lying about their age and then in the actual profile description telling the truth and giving a reason why? It seems like this is the best of all worlds, and you could even make it cute/clever in your profile wording…

    Honey´s last blog post…Top 10 Signs You’ve Become an Adult

    1. 38.1

      I did that once just as an experiment and stated right in the first line what I was doing and my real age. I didn’t keep it that way for more than a couple of days. It was just to see if all the blogs were telling the truth about the notorious “40 cut off” for women. It’s true but there are still plenty of great guys who don’t do this. Plus, that solution for initiating contact yourself works well. I actually keep my profile hidden on dating sites that allow it and only talk to guys I contact myself.

  19. 40

    I have a random, but not so unique observation- I wasn’t sure which post it would go under, so I’m putting it here. Attendance at Singles groups, events, even dating sites have a female/male ratio of 3:1, perhaps even 3:0. It doesn’t even have to be singles events- just fun things through meetup are always all female (with one guy in his 60s thrown in there).

    I’m curious, does this mean men don’t really care about finding a mate the way we do? Even online, there are way more female profiles than males. I know, statistics-wise, there are physically more women than men in America, but I don’t think the numbers are so skewed that there are three times many women as men. So, what gives? I guess men are happy with flings and staying bachelors?

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