What Percentage of Your Online Dates Lied About Their Age, Height, Weight or Photo?

What percentage of your online dates lied about their age, height, weight or photo?

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  1. 61

    Lol, dude. This one guy was very demanding and refused to even come out on a date with me unless he saw me on web cam first. Somehow, he couldn’t believe my photos were real, and wanted to make sure I wasn’t “fat”. Mind you, this guy (on my own aesthetic scale) was around a 5/10. Average, but I wasn’t hung up on it so much. WELL, I finally give in to his request to talk on webcam, but I was spared by the grace of the Universe/Karma/God/whatever, because there were some technical difficulties. I could see him on cam but thankfully he could not see me…
    and OMG. Dude looked NOTHING like his photo. He was at least 50 lbs heavier and had about 75% LESS hair on his head… and looked way older too. I was so annoyed, ESPECIALLY since he was the one being so judgmental at first! LOL. I mean, really? What a riot. Needless to say, he and I don’t talk anymore. Online dating liars really annoy me. I mean, come on, I’m eventually going to find out what you look like! What’s the point of lying? Lol.

  2. 62

    I would say 99% of men lie about their height.  Many men over 45 lie about their age (very badly I might add).  Maybe about 20% lie about their weight/body size.  I think we lie to ourselves about our prospects pictures, we see what we want to see.  Most of the time it is an unrealistic perception of them that our dates can never live up to, so if we have very low and realistic expectations or none on looks, no harm no foul. That said when they only have 1 pic and it’s amazing it’s going to be bad.  One pic is always a red flag, it says they had to search and search and for 1 good photo, not a good thing.

  3. 63

    In my experience, I would say half.  I’m 5’10”, so the biggest lie is their height – men tend to add an inch or two.  Then it’s body type and most recently age.  I agree with Genie – one pic is always a red flag.  I post as many as can be allowed and they are always within the last 12 months showing not just head shots (another red flag).

  4. 64

    I am in my late 30’s, and most of the women I date are in advertised their profile as being in late 20’s to early 30’s.
    I’ve been lucky. There are things I don’t like about online dating, but I do have to admit that every girl I’ve met seems to have been more or less truthful about their profile. “More or less” is the key expression. They were truthful about where they graduated, what they did for a living, their pictures being up to date, far as I could tell. I have met a couple women, though, who was maybe an inch taller than advertised, and one girl I suspect is a year older than advertised (she said she graduated in 200x which would make her a year older than she listed in her profile unless she skipped grades or something).
    I get that the prose in people’s online dating profiles is marketing/exaggeration. Everyone says that they are “laid back and adventurous and has family and friends they would do anything for” and I’m sure that maybe 30% of the time, everyone probably can be accurately described this way. So I take it not too seriously.

  5. 65

    Funny, I clicked on a profile once and it was like that age enhancing software that is used to find missing children.
    It was like someone the profile was rigged so that the main picture was what turned out to be something that was easily 20 years old (as in taken 20 years ago, not a picture of the person at 20)…so when you went to the profile, it was like looking at pictures of the same person’s father.
    The guy was using a pic from when he was probably in his 30’s and must currently be in his late 50’s, so of course the age he had listed was a huge lie b/c I’m in my 30’s and I’m not looking for a father figure.
    A lot of men who do include body shots seem to misunderstand what “athletic and toned” means, and I wouldn’t care although many of those “athletic and toned” men as well as some that are heavy, still demand only “slender” women, of which I am not.
    I think some men have figured out to lie about their ages to be included in searches that would filter them out, and others will use a younger main profile pic to appear younger for the same reason (and one guy’s first line was an angry missive about why it was really okay for him to use a decade old shot from his modeling days).
    I just assume that ALL men lie about their heights by 2 inches on average (as a 5’6 tall woman men my height seem to believe that they are 5’8), and I wouldn’t even being to believe any published income info. (I wonder why that is on there b/c I feel like men will lie about it and as a women who earns well it’s not exactly something that I get points for, so why bother?)
    Some people have unusual ways of defining race and ethnicity too, but usually it relates to what they want to wind up with rather than what they actually are.

  6. 66

    Oh, please…80% or more. I’ve had one guy who posted a 20 year-old picture. I would not even have recognized another date if hadn’t brought his dog along for our walk. He was 10 years older and 30 lbs heavier than his pictures… good thing his dog was not! The other thing that gets me is clearly overweight men who say they are “athletic and toned”. Hefting a few weights at the gym to firm up your triple chin is NOT being fit. I work out every day and keep thin to be more attractive to men. Being a former fatty I know men don’t date heavy women. I think I have a right to expect the same from my potential partners.

  7. 67

    Even Evan Marc Katz lies in his profile. On his website and PR photos his eyes are blue. But in his video they are brown. What is up with that!?

    1. 67.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      @Megan: This might be the funniest comment I’ve ever received on this blog. My eyes are blue-green. When it’s well-lit, you can see it very clearly, as in the professional photos on my website. When I’m taking a video with my flipcam, my irises are large, because they’re trying to take in light, and you can’t see the color of my eyes. I have never altered the color of my eyes for a photo. The only thing I’ve ever lied about is saying that I’m 5’10”, when I’m actually closer to 5’9″.

      You really must chill.

      1. 67.1.1


        Do you think listing yourself as 5’10 instead of 5’9 really made that much difference? I just wonder how many more dates you believe that got you. I ask, because you once said here that at the time, you were in a market and age group that made getting attractive quality dates “like shooting fish in a barrel”, (I’m pretty sure that was the expression you used), and I believe you.  If it was that easy, why did you feel the need to “fib” in the first place? Not trying to put you on the spot, just an honest question.

  8. 68

    100% of them (two); that killed it for me, one said she was 15 years younger and the other that she was 75 pounds lighter. never again; I don’t trust online dating.

  9. 69

    Like one of the posters above, I lie about my age ’cause I get away with it, period. Have to, ’cause if I put my real age I would get next to no emails even from average Joes. On a scale of 1-10, I’ve been told I’m an 8 or 9 in looks…..Men are that sexist/ageist here in South Carolina though I date many “Yankees”. LOL….Still, it’s really, really discouraging  I have to do this. Prior to online dating I was always very upfront about my age to everyone. Proud of my age, generation, etc.

    But like the poster above, though 58 now I’ve been told a lot I look 39-40 or maybe 45 (depends upon sleep, lighting, you name it!), so I did it early on. And yes, I’ve had plastic surgery.  Otherwise I am honest about all the rest.

    I also give my last name sometime after the first or second date so if these men weren’t so self-absorbed and/or busy they could easily google me and get at my real age. So far NOT A SINGLE MAN has done this to my knowledge. In any case, by the third date I usually tell the man I’m “further along in my fifties” but if he needs an exact number, well….I tell them “why go there- is it relevant?” I’m an athlete, never get sick, look so young, etc. We are all aging I’ve decided and women outlive men so that’s my ultimate justification I guess….

    I mean what’s the point if I am only looking for a weekend boyfriend (what I typically tell me) and NOT another husband?

    I don’t think I’ve met many men who lied about their age (maybe one), but two clearly used an OLD photo. One guy used a current photo but I think God himself took it, ’cause when we met I was somehow NOT the same man, hard to explain….

    1. 69.1


      How do you know you’d “get next to no responses” if you told the truth about your age? Have you tried it? Well, have you? I’m in the same state you’re in. I’m a man 9 years older than you; I don’t know exactly how old I look, but I’m in pretty darn good shape (as in better than a lot of guys in their fifties) and really active. I will bet that your search criteria filter out a man my age. That’s fine; entirely your choice.  I never lied about my age (or anything else) online; I still got responses, though; not as many as I would have liked, but it wasn’t “next to none”. There’s just one little difference; when I did get a date, I didn’t have any lies to explain later. I kinda like it that way. Of course, your mileage may vary…

      1. 69.1.1

        Actually, a friend and I did test this theory once because we’d read that men only date women 10 years younger than themselves and we were curious to know if it was true. We used our real photos and put our age five years younger in the box, to get under that terminal “40 line.” Then, in our profiles, we stated our real age on the very first line and explained our experiment. We got at least triple the responses from men our own age and five to ten years older. Funny thing was, not one actually minded our age once they’d seen us. They’d just set their search parameters to weed out any women over 40. Once they saw that we looked just as good they wanted a date. I promptly put my age back to the real thing because I didn’t want to seriously mislead anyone but my friend’s is still lowered to this day.

        1. Buck25

          I wish I could say I’m surprised by that, Al, but I can’t say I am. Obviously, lying works, at least in terms of getting more views/responses. Whether you can explain the lie(s)later, if you get a date out of it, is another matter entirely.  The way you did it, is something I’ve seen women do before (disclose it in the body of the profile).  What I wonder, is if these guys read the disclaimer in your profiles, or did what a lot of guys do, and didn’t actually read your profile essay at all (and as a result, never knew your real age). Did you happen to get any feedback on that? I’d bet that tactic might not work quite the same way for a man, because a lot of women (not all, but a lot) actually read men’s profiles, often to the point of parsing every word in them. I’ve been told women do that because their first instinct is to look for any reason to disqualify a man. Any thoughts on that?

        2. Al

          Buck25: Well, that was years ago, when I first began online dating but, as I recall, the men pretty much all read the profile and made a point to mention the age thing when they wrote to me. I made the profile  really funny and guys seem to like that.  What I found really interesting was every single one of the 40-55 year old men (who cut their age rage off for women at 40) that wrote to me ALL insisted they weren’t really “that type of guy,” even though they totally were. I sent them all a link to an article written for OK Cupid by a young, 20 something year old woman on this very subject. She pointed out that even younger women will often screen out men who do this because 1. They find it sexist and shallow and 2. If a man can’t date his peers they assume something’s wrong with him. Most of the men said they hadn’t meant to do that or hadn’t really thought about what it communicates to women. Afterward, I noticed that pretty much all of them had wisely changed their criteria to include older women.

        3. Buck25


          Thanks for the follow-up. That’s interesting, that once you got past the filter, they responded anyway. The fact that they changed their filter afterward is an interesting point as well. I wonder if men (and women for that matter) are just as thoughtless in setting their age (and perhaps other) filters now; certainly some food for thought in that. I know when I started out (I was 64 then) I had mine set at 45-60, simply because I had always dated women 5-12 years younger than me. After some experience, I changed that to 50-64 . At the end, I had adjusted it again, to 52-72. Most of my dates came from the middle of the range, roughly 58-68. What I found was that outside that range, most women were at a different place in life than I was, with a few exceptions in the younger end, and even fewer in the over 70 group. There seem to be shifts in outlook, activity level,  expectations, etc, that occur somewhere after 55, and again at around 70. I found that a little curious, because I would have thought that age differences are less of an issue later in life than they are at, say, 25 to 50, but that doesn’t seem to be the case, in my limited experience.

        4. Al

          Buck25. I like to approach this the same way I would most things in life, by employing that good old “Golden Rule.” I think if everyone did this we’d all have a lot less trouble finding dates. Essentially, we all need ask ourselves, “How would I feel if others did that to me? “If the answer is, “Not so great” then simply don’t do that to someone else. Easy Peasy!


          Most of the issues people have seem to be equally shared across the gender divide. Dishonesty and misrepresentation, unrealistic expectations, etc… Those aren’t things typically specific to either men or women.


          The issue of ageism does however have a particular bias. I’m sure some women do this (and the numbers may be rising) but it’s still mostly a guy thing. Traditionally men have dated younger women. They still try to do this even when child bearing is not a consideration, like for older couples. Men who don’t even wish to have children still skew their searches downward, though there seems to be no viable reason for it. In the past, this made some sense because women were largely dependent on men financially.


          These days, most men don’t want to be burdened with supporting a woman and they are offended when they are evaluated on the basis of their salaries, yet they still expect the old status quo to stay the same  and for the younger women to flock to them. Why?


          I am actually truly curious to hear from the men who exclusively set their perimeters to women younger than even their own age. How would YOU feel if only women ten years older than you were willing to consider you as an option, even if you looked fantastic. Imagine if you, as a 45 year old guy (for example), were almost uniformly ignored by any women younger than 48 to 55, that even 65 year old’s routinely thought that you’d be happy to have them.  For just a moment consider that these women are your only options to choose from. You’d end up selecting from the best among them because you had no other choice but are you happy? Imagine if even women your own age turned their noses up at you and said you weren’t “fit” or “young” enough for them, despite the fact that they, themselves, were not “fit” or “young” either and you were actually probably in better shape. Wouldn’t that kind of piss you off? Well, women feel the same way. It’s unfair and hypocritical, yet I’d guess that at least 70% of the men online do this.


          I’ve turned down many men who I otherwise thought were attractive because they set their age limits beneath their own and I know a LOT of other women who do as well, both older and younger. Usually, it’s the more attractive ladies too, because they can afford to be selective. So, you might well be getting ignored yourselves by the very women you’d like to date the most because of your choice to exclude your peers.  Luckily for us, there is that remaining 30% of men who don’t discriminate against women this way and. let me tell you, we notice. They end up looking REALLY good compared to the rest.


  10. 70

    Avg 3~5 inc shorter and they are not fit or slender but pudgy if not obese with big beer bellies they can’t button their shirts…. I enjoy active life style so if a person rather linger to watch sports on tv gulping soda or beer rather than do actually play sports, then we are not compatible. Therefore, I weed out ‘average (b/c I’m convinced that average means few extra pounds in the online dating world.) and ‘few extra pounds’ and contact ‘fit and athletic’ exclusively.  Not only none of them fell into the category but shorter than they said on their profile.  Photoshopped or ancient pictures or whatever, men in 40~50, please do something about your weight issues as it is a preventive health care practice.  
    I agree with Susan.

  11. 71

    I think a big reason that guys lie on-line is that a lot of women base their choices on criteria like height, age, weight, hair, etc.
    I just joined Match.com. I was blown away that more than 50% of the women wanted men taller than 5’10” and I should mention that this is coming from women 5’9″ or shorter (most were in the 5’2 to 5’8 range). As a guy, I feel like I am immediately off limits to them when I am an inch shorter and meet all the other “statistical criteria.”
    I’ve also been on Plenty of Fish. I notice that lots of women want younger guys, or that they have an upper limit of 40 years old. Here are common examples: 38 year old woman wants a guy 30 to 40. If I am 41, what do I do if I really want to introduce myself to her? I can’t.
    It you are a guy just shy of 5’10” and even 1 day over 40, you have been rejected by a vast range of the on-line dating pool. I don’t like to like, and I haven’t, but I’m seriously thinking of dropping my age by 1 or 2 years.

    1. 71.1

      OK, so here’s a question. If the 38 year olds don’t want a man over 40 why not date women in their 40s? Trust me, there are plenty of us out there. If you are exclusively trying to date women younger than yourself (like 80% of men) then you have no right to complain because you are essentially guilty of the same kind of judgement, only worse, because you rule out your own peers based on nothing but ageism, yet expect other people not to do the same to you.  Newsflash: Almost everyone bases their choices on age, weight, hair, etc… Don’t you?


      If you aren’t doing this, I take it back. That’s just the impression your post gives off.

  12. 72

    There is no reason why anyone needs to lie. There are so many people out there with different heights and ages. When I find that someone lied about his age, it confirmed how they behave in a  relationship. This type of person tend not to commit in a relationship and continues to be on the site. Just a red flag for a lot of women out there. Honesty should be one of the 1st qualities that we seek in a relationship.

  13. 73

    I hear where you’re coming from.  That is exactly the reason that I was considering taking a few years off my age: I’m 38, but being lucky (maybe cos I’m mixed race, maybe cos I’m slim)  I look younger.  Certainly enough to get away with a couple of years off; probably more but I’d feel uncomfortable with that.  It would be my only deception (yeah, it’s hard to use the word lie, but I suppose a lie it is); is that really so bad.  Like @Ellen, I’m not looking for a spouse either; just a friendship which might become something a little more.

    As for “38 year old woman wants a guy 30 to 40″, well, good luck with that. I anticipate that I will find it difficult to meet a 30 year-old woman as a 38 year-old male.  I know there are *some* guys who like younger women, but really….

    I suppose where the little lie might go wrong is when you meet someone for whom the lie would have been unnecessary (e.g. say I meet a 35 year-old who was looking for 30 to 40) but who, upon finding out about said deception, feels Not Good about it.

    And as for all those women looking for blokes over 5’10″….well, that would be reasonable for a woman over 5’7″ (perhaps) but really, how many women are over 5’7”?  I do remember though, years ago, a mate of mine who was dating used to complain about the huge number of women doing online dating who were tall or very tall.  Because, being a tall woman, and not a pretty tall woman, which really is probably very rare, kind of sucks, only not as much as being a short man.

    1. 73.1

      If a guy shaved just a few years off his age and admitted it soon after meeting I wouldn’t care too much. That’s in the ballpark anyway. I figure that a lot of people do that to get under the search cut offs. What I don’t appreciate are the ones who lie about ten plus years.  That’s getting ridiculous.


      I’m a tall woman (yep. over 5’7) and it’s somewhat frustrating but I’m not too far out of the norm, just a little bit. I’m happy to date a guy my height so things could be worse.

  14. 74

    All the men lied about the height. All of them were 2 inches shorter than the profile. If the subject of height ever brought up after meeting in person, they still claimed they are taller than they are. I think thats natural because all of my male friends add 1 inch to their height even in non-dating situations.
    No one so far has lied about the age. At least I havent caught them out.
    The photos were at least 2-3 years older and perhaps edited almost always.
    I have never asked the weight because I dont want to bring up my weight either. (My weight sounds a lot heavier than I look). But everyone looked fatter than the picture, except the skinny ones who looked skinnier than the picture.

    Several men lied about marital status. If the profile said ‘Divorced’ , they are only separated. If they are divorced, they are ‘Never married’ in the profile.

    1. 74.1

      If a man is over a certain age, “Never Married” is a worse choice for a lot of women. I’ve heard ladies talk about how if he is over 40 and hasn’t been married there’s something wrong with him. I won’t refuse to meet someone who’s never been married but I tend toward divorced fathers because out lifestyles will be more compatible. Men without children tend to get frustrated with my schedule.

  15. 75

    At least half the guys lie it seems to me.
    Because lying about height is so common I put up front in my profile Im 6 foot in heels. Despite that short guys claiming 6 feet show up and and then tell me Im so tall!!! Also I have in my profile I compete in 12-20 mile canoe races and guys who said they were athletic can show up looking the Pilsbury Doughboy
    My ex husband who is 58 is on match saying he is 45 and another guy I met who is 54 says he’s 45.
    Needless to say Ive gotten very good at qualifying in the first phone call
    Some lie about being divorced and single

  16. 76

    Hi Evan, I really enjoy your posts. Thanks for this question. I’ve recently started an online profile with two sites: one specifically for people in my religious group, and another in a singles site that targets those interested in the same specific hobbies/activities that I have.
    On the religious site, I really expected men to be honest and ethical about height, weight and age. I’ve so far found three out of four listing/posting at least one obvious “lie.” One lied and said he was 5’8″ (I am 5’5″ and I was taller than him with short heels/flats on), two others posted either photos that were 10 years old or retouched. On the site with singles of my particular hobby/activity group, I found that about 50% lied about at least one thing: their height, weight, or age.  
    I find all of this pretty shocking since anyone with half a brain would realize the need to start a relationship out with honesty; the truth is going to come out sometime.

  17. 77

    This age lie just happened to me.
    This man said his age was 41. Through our email exchanges, I had deduced enough information (his first name, and a description of his specialized local business) to run a Google search and a public records search.  Sure enough, he’s 46.  Too bad he felt the need to lie, because I was interested in him.  Now, I think, if he’s lying about that, what else will he be dishonest about?

  18. 78

    Pearl, it’s interesting how guys who are divorced will say “never married.”
    What those guys don’t realize is that a 45 year old man who is “never married” is considered negatively by many women; however, a divorced 45 year old man has at least proven that he has the capacity to commit to a woman and probably some semblance of social skills.
    Men never cease to confound me.

    1. 78.1
      just saying ....

      But it’s ok for a woman or a man to have been married several times??

      Or women who have been single way too long??? And claim they were just raising their kids …..when they were just sleeping around alot.

      So like i said before they lie about everything!!!!

  19. 79

    I’m here to confess, I’ve started lying about my age and it does bother me, but I feel like I’m up against a wall.  If one existed, I would join a site that didn’t require you to display your age, just current pictures.  The pictures I post are current, they are of me, I don’t lie about anything else (though keeping up with all the changes one’s body makes isn’t easy, I don’t have a lot of friends who are snapping pictures all the time like some apparently do).  I am about to turn 40 and it feels like a death knell.  I like younger women (sorry, I just do), even women in their early thirties set cut-offs at 35, 39 and 40, that seems to be the trend.  I actually look younger than my age, everyone who’s ever commented on my age (whether they’re in their 20’s or 60’s) or found out how old I was, were surprised and thought I was younger, my parents both look ten years younger than they are…so I hate that this number hangs around my neck like an anchor, regardless of what I look like, regardless of how I behave, how energetic I am, the activities I enjoy, the person inside…in my experience, that number really does kill off a lot of potential for me in the dating world.  So, I figure, if I didn’t lie, I wouldn’t even have a chance to talk to most of these women, so I’d be alone anyway.  If I meet someone, they may be deeply offended that I lied and there will be a painful consequence, I fear that and I’m sorry for it.  But I do think there is the possibility of finding someone who likes me and who will get over it to one degree of difficulty or another and there is the possibility of a happily ever after that may not be possible otherwise.  I also know that I could meet someone who wouldn’t have cared about my age, but would care that I lied and I’d lose someone that way.  But I’ve been honest all this time and as I’ve gotten older I’ve seen the response ratio drop off, so I gave it my best shot, I’m really starting to feel the clock tick now.  Why am I still single?  Well I could write a book about that, part of it is that I’m picky too, but I know that it’s not fair to either person unless you’re totally happy with who you’re with and I hope the woman I finally meet, if ever, is as picky as I am, I don’t want to be someone’s compromise.

    1. 79.1

      So, you want someone not to judge YOU on your age and like “the person inside” while you are actively discarding women your own age for the same reason. Don’t you think women also want to be valued for more than their age? It’s possible that you’re still single, not because of your age or what you look like, but because you expect to be treated better than you are willing to treat others. Women can sense when a man has an entitled attitude and that’s a huge turn off at any age.

  20. 80


    I am a 39 year old woman who is frequently told that I look 32 -33.  I’m in great shape, attractive, child free, not needy and rather secure in myself.  I am what I am online, like it or not.  I have heard way too many men complain about women lying re their age, and I just believe in starting off from a point of honesty.

    By your post above, I’m guessing you would not be interested, so be that as it may, I will let you know that I am supposed to be meeting a man from POF on Sunday.  He is quite tall, attractive, has similar athletic interests, and we have jobs in related fields.   I’m leaning towards NOT meeting this man.

    Thanks to Google, I now know that he is fudging his age by two years.   Some would say they would not be bothered by that, but it just does not sit right with me.  White lies are still lies, and it’s going to be weird to me.  What’s odd is the length he is going to in order to avoid being 42 , and th

  21. 81

    Sorry- above post was prematurely posted.

    To add, it strikes me as deceptive and bothersome, and if I meet him I’m going to be sitting there in anticipation of how and when he will come clean.  Not the best way to start out a dating relationship.

    Josh, perhaps you will end up dating a 33 year old woman who is actually my age – how would that shoe feel on the other foot, my friend? 😉

    1. 81.1

      Very good point.

  22. 82
    just saying ....

    Women online almost always lie about their age…education…work…and how positive they want you to think they are and how they are so active….and independent.

    But they also cry about how all men want younger women…but the reality is they are just upset cus the men they really want do not want them.

    They also want a successful man who goes to the gym looks good and is a gentleman, who whisk them away to an amazing wonderful life full of travel and fun.

    Also they like to think they look and feel younger then they really are so they think they deserve younger men.

    News flash!!!! Younger men go after you cus you are easily flattered and will do anything for them sexually and not expect marriage or a ring . Wake Up……they go for you cus the women they want do not want them…..

    The truth hurts!!!


  23. 83

    When I was online, the “lie rate” for women 55 and up was easily 80%. The most common lie was age; most shaved off 3 to 5 years with a couple shaving off a full decade! The second most common lie was body type; sorry ladies, 40 to 60 pounds overweight (and we’re taking about pure fat, not muscle) is NOT “athletic and toned” or even “average”. This was frequently hidden with a single head and shoulders pic or a “down angle selfie”; or pics that were at least ten years old (this was so common and egregious that if I ever go back online, I would not even think of contacting any woman who does not post at least one relatively current full length picture). Activity level and exercise frequency were other objects of “mis-statement”, usually very blatant.

    Yes ladies, I am quite aware that men do it too, and at least as often,  but why lie to get your foot in the door, if you’re going to get kicked right back out as soon as your lie(S) becomes evident? I repeat what I’ve said before; there is no reason to do any of this, for either gender; just tell the truth, and let the chips fall where they may.  I’ve heard the excuses; “But , But,…I HAVE to!” (NO, you DON’T. Is anybody holding a gun to your head?) and”But, everybody does it!” That’s an even sorrier excuse to begin with ( just because a lot of other people go swimming in a cesspool doesn’t mean you have to), and it’s also a lie in itself, because no, NOT everybody does it.

    I thought (how naive of me), that most of you ladies, like some of us men, are actually hoping to find a long term relationship by this process. Those relationships are built on, among other things, TRUST. And you are going to tell a lie, or several lies, to obtain that? Yeah, that’s a real good foundation to build trust on! How about we ALL try something really novel; just be ourselves, and tell the damn truth; you know, there’s a chance it might actually serve us better.

    One final note; as a 67 year old man, if anyone is filtered out online, it’s me; if anyone would have a compelling incentive to lie in a profile, I would; but you know what, in three years out there, I never lied in my profile; not about age, or height (5’9) or anything else.  I never posted a misleading picture, either. Did I miss out on some profile views, or email responses? Almost certainly. The thing is though, I’ve still got my integrity; if you got a hundred dates by lying, you DON’T have your integrity, and in my book that makes you a bigger loser than I could ever be.

  24. 84

    Oh man, I’ve got to say that at least 70% lie about something. It baffles me because I am as upfront and honest as humanly possible. I list my real age, fitness level and height. My pictures were all taken within the last few months. I’d rather have someone meet me in person and be pleasantly surprised than ever get that disappointed look that I know has shown on my face before (without meaning to).


    What I’ve seen most often is lies about height. I’m 5’10 in most normal shoes, since even sneakers have some sole. I’m almost 6 feet in heels. This is right there on my profile. I even specifically call attention to it so it doesn’t go unnoticed. Still, I keep having guys show up who say they’re 5’10 (because apparently no men are under 5’10 online) and I end up towering over them in flats. Seriously, just tell me the truth because, though a shorter woman might not notice those few inches, I certainly will.



    I’ve also seen a lot of age lowering. I went on a date with one guy who’d been sending me selfies he supposedly “just took in the gym.”  When I showed up he was at least 15 years older and was significantly heavier. There’s NO way those pictures were taken within the last decade. He had the good grace to apologize right there on the spot. He said he couldn’t believe I actually looked like my pictures and that he thought it was ok to lie because everyone else did too. I saw another guy on two different dating sites. On one, he listed his age as 64 and on the other one, 52. That’s a twelve year difference!


    I don’t mind if guys are bald so the hat thing doesn’t phase me. I expect most men over 35 to be going thin, as that seems to be the norm.


    What does bug me is the double standard. So many men constantly go on about how they “just want to find an honest woman who doesn’t play games,” all the while they are lying through their teeth. I sat listening to one of the height fudgers whine for 20 minutes about how his ex wife shaved three years off her age online. Note: He added four inches to his own height. When he was done I just gave him a rather pointed look and said, “Oh really. Imagine someone being dishonest on their dating profile.” He didn’t even seem to get his own hypocrisy.



    Too many men want young, thin, hot women, but they aren’t young, thin or hot themselves. They judge women ruthlessly on our appearance but call us “shallow or superficial” if we ‘d rather date someone taller or more attractive than they are. They hide their bald spots, lie about their dimensions and their age but God forbid if a women shaves three years off HER age so men five years older than her might consider her worth their time!

  25. 85

    I must be the only man on Mingle2 that didn’t lie about anything in his profile, I’ve had at least six women think that I was not real, they were like those aren’t your pictures. can’t seem to get any American women to talk to me. when you message them they always delete their picture and close their account

  26. 86
    Karleanna A.

    I have to laugh.  I was talking to this one man who was 65, posted his age as 55 (reason he said was nobody would look at his profile otherwise).  He also had his height listed as 5’8.  He is 5’6 at best.  I am 5’2 and he is pretty much eye level with me.  When we first started talking he kept telling me what a great guy he is, how nice, how he does the right thing, etc. … but then why lie?

    It’s like “oh trust me, I am a good person” yet he is already back paddling when it comes to the basics.

    Age wasn’t a factor (I prefer older men), nor the height.  It was the lies.

  27. 87

    This is how I deal with the issue.  I look at least ten to fifteen years younger than I am, thanks to being a fitness nut and spending a fair amount of money of very, very good plastic surgery.  Think Demi Moore.  You would not be far off.  I am not being vain, I have had to keep up my appearance because of the type of work I do, my earning potential is tied to how I look.

    I lie.  I lie about ten years younger.  I could actually pass easily for even younger.  The reaction to my photos is, “no, you can’t be that old!”.  The photos I post are not photoshopped  in any way, taken from odd but flattering angles, etc.  They are recent and an accurate depiction of my age.  I make sure to make clear in my profile that I already have children, and not able to have more.

    I have a lot of traffic, a lot of interest.  I prefer younger men because I am very active.  I like loud music, I like to go to rock concerts, I like to dance, I like to stay up late and dance on the tables and do crazy shit.  That is just my personality.  My adult children have often chuckled about how they love their mom but she will never grow up.  I am a female Peter Pan.  Were I to put my own age, I am likely to mostly attract people who I know very well who have neither the stamina nor interests that I have.

    I like chatting, and flirting.  If things start to get more involved in online conversation, or someone actually wants to invest the time in physically meeting me, then I will tell the guy my true age.  I have never once had anyone tell me that they are not interested at that point.  They all proceed, telling me I am hot and they don’t care.  I have had many younger and handsome men want to take things to a deep level but I just and not there at this point, or I haven’t met someone that I am into to the point where I would want to change my life that much.

    So, that is what I do.  Yes, I am lying.  But I find that if men are not looking for a woman to have children with, and the age difference is not too huge, and you look really good and have a great personality, that they don’t give a shit if they have decided they want to get to know you better.

    1. 87.1

      I’m curious- I am similar to you in that I can easily pass 10 years younger. Fitness is key, plus hair extensions and excellent skin maintenance. I also have a younger personality- not a party girl, but very active and laid back. I get a TON of interest from guys in mid 20’s to mid 30’s and some are just hook ups, but many end up being multiple dates. I really want a guy my age. With lying, do you get guys your age? And if you didn’t lie, would you still get younger?

      Also, holy crap, men need better plastic surgeons. a smooth forehead and deep jowls don’t happen at age 35…..

  28. 88

    I don’t lie about my age and use recent photos. That said…. I’m about ready to start lying about my age. I’m 43. I get dates all day long with guys in their 30’s, who consistently comment that I don’t look 43, even close to it. I get hit on in my day to day by guys in their 40’s. But online? Quality men in my age range don’t swipe right or reach out. So guys that will hit on me in a bar or at work, won’t hit on me online when they know my age.

    The guys I have gone out with who are in their 40’s lied about their ages and used older pics. They looked like well lived 50 + . I see online pics of men in their 30’s who are over 40. I have a friend in his 50’s who I have seen online who advertises himself as being 35.

    I have also noticed that men whose profiles read like a menu of adventure travel, but have no adventure photos seem to lie about their age. I’ve learned that anyone who scubas, rock climbs, surfs, travels, travels, travels, hike, scuba, rock climb is having a mid life crisis. I have met a lot of people who lie about their activities. Also met a lot of “I hope it is OK that I’m married”.

    I have heard women lie a lot about their age and use old pics. My goal is to get a relationship and starting with a lie doesn’t seem good. But I also think a lot of men have preconceived notions of what a woman in her 40’s is like, thus pass or exclude that age from searches. It would be interesting to bump off 5 years and see what happens (use current pics). Also, I don’t think that many women photoshop, but are good at selfies. I’m not putting bad pics online, but I do have a couple of shots taken by others in kind of day to day settings with minimal make up.

    1. 88.1

      You are probably right about guys having a preconceived notion about what a woman in her 40s is like, but then again, you have preconceived notions about what a man in his 50s is like.  Who knows, maybe you are right…and maybe they are too.

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