Invasion Of The Sperm Snatchers

Several online articles have appeared recently regarding “sperm snatching,” including this one on Big Think. It cites a column in the Daily Mail by Liz Jones as well as another post on Big Think about sperm for sale. The author tackles the concept of Dynamic (or Time) Inconsistency as it relates to rising number on deceptive pregnancies: it is the economic concept that preferences can change over time. What may seem like the optimal choice in period one (not wanting the father’s money or support during pregnancy, for example) is not necessarily the optimal choice in period two (after the baby is born).

According to the Daily Mail article, a 2001 survey showed that 42% of women would lie about their contraceptive use if they wanted to get pregnant and their partner did not. Author Jones describes how, over the course of two relationships, she snuck into the bathroom in the middle of the night in order to inseminate herself using sperm rescued from condoms, despite the fact that both men had made their unwillingness to become fathers very, very clear to her. She tried to sperm snatch, but was unsuccessful.

In Big Think’s related article E-Sperm For Sale: Man Not Included, writer Pamela Haag discusses the sperm trade, and how children are “the new spouses,” the emotional and romantic anchors of many a modern family, NOT men. She ultimately advocates for effective male contraception since sperm snatching is becoming more rampant.

I’m disgusted by this concept of sperm snatching, but hey, I’m not a woman trying to get pregnant. Would love to hear your reactions below.

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  1. 61


    I think digging sperm out of a condom is gross and unsanitary and I’ve never done it. However, in many healthy sexual interactions sperm is left on the woman or on a bed or tissue. Certainly the condom scenario is the most dramatic, so for effect you used that in your explanation. But if a guy has come inches from a woman’s vagina and she happens to wipe it in a way that moves it toward the vagina, the man is hardly doing a very good job of protecting his sperm.  If he is concerned about pregnancy, he should be more careful.

    Also, the men I date are definitely wearing condoms to protect themselves from disease as a primary concern, not because of pregnancy concerns. Once the condom is filled or they come outside of her, their worries are usually over. So I think men do leave their sperm around because their primary concern for diseases is no longer relevant. If they are worried about pregnancy, they should dispose properly.

  2. 62


    You’ve got me pegged wrong on this one, but I can see why you might think I’m supporting double standards. I’m not, but I didn’t explain myself very well. I get frustrated over this issue, so my apologies for that.

    I honestly believe, that the pill, abortion and all the choices we’ve afforded ourselves to help , have backfired in a huge way. The intent was good, the end result..not so good. We should have listened to those that knew better.

    When men complain that their partners terminate without them having any say , I will say the exact same thing to those women who terminate. You COULD have gone on the pill you COULD have used a condom, but you didn’t take responsibility. Now you think it’s okay to kill your partners child, without him having any say in it? The woman had a say in it prior to getting pregnant. Now, they both should have a voice, not just one.

    It works both way’s mike, and I am quite frankly tired of hearing about it from both sides of the fence.

    I’m afraid the choices we’ve afforded ourselves, have resulted in an explosion in narcissistic behaviour, where due to a lack of consequences(especially regarding something as important as sex) has resulted in a putrid cesspool of unethical lying humans. This is what happens, when people BELIEVE there are no consequences to what we do.

    We can’t change that, unless you want to fight legislation. But, we CAN still as  men and women choose to accept consequences and make better choices. I would like to believe people are good, but it is not always the case. Get it through our heads, that sex can result in a child and be smarter about it.

    I’m just as disgusted as you are, over the woman in this article, and the other women here that are saying they can take a man’s sperm, and it is no big deal. If her eggs were taken without her permission and used as an “egg donor” because of what some-one else wanted, I suspect they’d be furious. Humans are not “donors” for another persons desires.

  3. 63

    @Fleur #65
    I would hardly call semen in a condomn, on a bedsheet, or even on a woman’s inner thigh being ‘left around’. It’s not a reasonable expectation that a woman would take semen left on her thigh (which most likely got there because the guy was pulling out to try prevent a pregnancy) and purposefully push it into her vagina. Unless of course he is used to dealing with women who are a bit…off, to put it mildly.

    My only hope is that women who think this way show enough signs of being unstable prior to sex that he can hopefully steer clear. Or bring bleach to bed to make sure his semen is disposed of ‘properly’.

  4. 64

    You know, this is one of the most informative threads ever. Because outside of women resorting to all manner of trickery to try to become pregnant with a professional athletes’ child, I had never heard of this. Didn’t think the average guy had to be concerned about this. And if I hadn’t seen some of these outlandish responses with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it. Disturbing doesn’t even begin to describe it, but bat-shit crazy gets a little closer.

    I’m saving this for my future children, particularly a son. Truth is way stranger than fiction.

  5. 65

    I think people are misunderstanding the statistics.  I believe the 42% quote, because it says, “42% of women say they would lie to the partner about contraception if they wanted a baby and their partner did not.”  So, let’s assume that 25% of women truly do not want a baby.  That leaves us with 75% of women wanting a baby.  Now let’s assume that of that 75%, 75% of THOSE women are able to find a partner who also wants children – which is 56.25% of the original total.  25%+56.25%=81.25% of women now accounted for.  Of the 18.75% of women remaining, 42% of THEM say they would lie to their partner about contraception.  That’s 7.875% of women total.  Not a shocking number at all, and I suspect that it’s actually lower if you know the real numbers.

    That being said, I do agree that now that women can have their own careers and raise children on their own if they choose, men are going to have a hard time finding a woman who is willing to settle down with them.  I am curious how this will manifest, since a bunch of men won’t realize this until it’s too late for them personally, and since they won’t have children (or be heavily involved in their lives), they won’t be able to articulate their mistakes to the next generation.  So it will be the next generation primarily being raised by women, and we’ll see how they turn out.

  6. 66

    OMG y’all have been so scammed. Do you really believe that the Daily Mail article that started this whole discussion is based on real events? The woman who wrote it is making it up! She’s a feminist poking fun at stereotypes about manic baby-crazy 40-something women and 50-something bitter, regretful spinsters. Look at that picture of her, with the sad spinster face, in the ripped clothes, presenting her cat!! I mean, come on, people! This is strange British humor that you are taking for reality. Just look at the headlines from today’s edition of the Daily Mail. The lead story is that new DNA evidence proves that Robert Wagner killed Natalie Wood. Second story is that Demi Moore is a lesbian and had an open marriage with Ashton Kutcher. Do you still believe that that author was out in the trash, scooping dead jiz out of a spermicide-filled condom to impregnate herself? Or that any legitimate research organization would spend money to study women who go around stealing sperm? Egad.  I’m sure that the author is over there in London having a good laugh about how the dumb Americans believed her little satirical piece.
    This is probably the kind of thing she was satirizing: Some guy in Illinois brought a lawsuit against his former lover (Phillips v. Irons). Seems a few months after they stopped dating, she had a baby and slapped him with a paternity suit. DNA tests showed that the kid was his, and he was ordered to pay child support in the amount of $800/month. He countersued, saying that they had never had intercourse, only oral sex, and that she “must have” stolen his sperm and impregnated herself. She claims that she got pregnant in the regular way. The court ruled that however the woman received his sperm that he gave it willingly, and thus it was a “gift” (the court’s word) to use as she saw fit. He still has to pay child support. But she had to pay him some amount for emotional damages.
    Remember: When it comes to ownership, possession is nine-tenths of the law.

  7. 67

    My warped sense of humor finds this conversation and the reactions to be hilarious!   Morally bankrupt?   Really!?!??!   We are talking about people who have casual sport sex with people they don’t know well for their own gratification.  The women should have a higher moral standard than to help herself to sperm you left casually lying around?    And let’s be honest guys, the main reason you wear a condom is because you don’t know where she’s been, what you’re gonna catch and what you’re gonna give to the next woman who puts out.

    Why not wait until there is relationship and TRUST and commitment?  

    The act of intercourse, pregnancy and babies are closely connected to each other.  If you don’t want the last two, you need to refrain from the first and keep your swimmers at home…safe…from us soul stealing females.

    But then I was raised Catholic and every sperm is sacred.  🙂

  8. 68

    Em #70

    I think you’re absolutely right. I have to admit that, initially, I only read the Big Think article and not the original in the Daily Mail. But even the Big Think piece sounded awfully fishy to me. 

  9. 69

    Whether or not the story is an exaggeration or an over reaction, the main contentions still exist.

    This isn’ t me in this video, but he proclaims everything I believe in and support, and it would make all this nonsense go away. Can any of you disagree with this guys comments?

    Support safe male birth control in pill form. The only reason you wouldn’t is if you had a hidden agenda. A world with no ‘ooopsie’ births, and both partners agreeing to go off pill at the same time sounds like a good thing no?

  10. 70

    Mike, there’ve been several male birth control methods developed and tested on human subjects.   The males did not like the side effects so they are not profitable to manufacture for market.   Apparently only women are motivated enough to put up with unpleasant and sometimes dangerous and permanent side effects to keep from having an unwanted pregnancy.

    Vascectomies are reversible if you request those particular methods.

    Who wants their cake and eat it too?   Keep your swimmers home and no one will steal them or trick you out of them!

    1. 70.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Right, Ladybug. Men should only have sex if they want to procreate. If sex for pleasure without fear that a woman is going to try to impregnate herself against our will is “having our cake and eating it, too”, then all men are guilty.

  11. 71

    I read the same article by Liz Jones.  What makes me think, is that how much you are willing to put it out there in order to get “better ratings” for the newspaper, or just simply lashing out the unresolved personal issues, but Ms.Jones definitely is one of a kind, who brings the love-and-hate reaction out from her readers, most recently the latter.

    After this article was published, it gained a lot of reaction, where they end up publishing a “man point of view, ” where couple of men shared their experience as being one “the other side. ”

    It makes me wonder about one, or actually, 2 things. First is more simple – in our dating culture, where you can literally “browse” yourself a partner (online, etc) why is it so that  a woman, who is having a realtionship with a man, who clearly states he does not want to have a baby,  instead of her moving on without the current partner,she  is trying to do the trick. Find a man who wants to have a baby with you, normally! Therefore it brings me to the next:

    What kind of message does that give to a child in the future? When the mother thinks its ok to “normalise the unnormal way of having a baby.”

  12. 72

    The point, Evan, no birth control is 100% effective, not even condoms.   Women know they face the risk of pregnancy every time they have sex, even when they use birth control correctly.   Some women haven’t gotten pregnant using birth control, perhaps they aren’t all that fertile to start with.

    The “Have your cake and eat it too” comment was to Mike in reference to his saying that in an earlier post about birth control and the Sexual Revolution gave women the freedom to have sex without babies and we need to do that, to benefit who?   Men have reaped the rewards of the Sexual Revolution far more than women have.    

    What the Sexual Revolution was supposed to give women was choices.  What we got was pressure from men because they could get sex without responsibility.  Women still get stuck with the stigma.

    I don’t even want to hear anymore “for the children” on this one.   I think a kid would much rather hear that mom caught sperm from a passing stranger than Daddy couldn’t cope, walked out on us and never came back for you.

    I think ya’ll have uterine envy over our reproductive power.

  13. 73


    Men need to realize that sex CAN result in pregnancy, so no matter how much a man wants sex for pleasure, the moment he “expects” there to be no consequences, he is being seriously irrational.

    Plenty of women are also guilty of wanting to have sex for pleasure, with no child, but nothing changes the fact that it can and will happen and then they are going to have to deal with the consequences. There is no getting around that, so men need to deal with it, and be more careful.

    In the same way, women have to deal with the lies MEN tell no matter how much we would “like” to trust some-one. I cannot tell you how many women have fallen for such lies.

    Neither is okay, and everyone is sticking their heads in the sand. These fella’s who are getting screwed in this way, are getting a taste of what it is like, to be used and discarded, in the same way so many women are. Why are these men having sex with these women in a casual situation? God forbid we recognize that when you use some-one you will be used in return.

    It is no more fun to be used as a masturbatory device for a man’s self-gratifying pleasure(Ie being lied to and used for sex), than it is to be used as a sperm donor. 

    Both men and women need to be more responsible, and stop blaming everyone other than themselves. 

  14. 74
    Saint Stephen

    Correct me if I’m wrong- but I thought you said you were an Atheist?

  15. 75

    @ Mike – 28  
    If women created a hypergamous model where the top men get sex without trying, then they are given no incentive to commit. And why should they? what can you offer that someone else won’t. the last few decades of women have helped create this mess sorry to say. now the chickens are coming home. the top dogs don’t want to marry or have kids, they got it too easy. 

    The top dogs don’t want to marry or have kids, they got it too easy. The beta’s are waking up to the fact they got played and avoided during their sexual peaks and now are targets by the older crowd of women who chased alpha’s and failed to keep him leashed down.

    I don’t think women created this model.  The whole of society is to blame for this.

  16. 76

    @ Saint Stephen.

    I am an athiest. 🙂 

  17. 77

    Ladybug and AnnieC–love your comments!!!

    I love watching men get freaked out as the playing field between the genders gets leveled. “It’s IMMORAL!!” So funny. Like Jenna was implying–guys, y’all weren’t worried about the morality of unprotected sex, birth control, and unplanned pregnancy until modern science (DNA testing) turned the tables on you. Now you have to step up and you’re all whiny.

    Why don’t you take your trash home with you and stop looking at us women as your sperm receptacles? We’re only going to go for guys who are educated about the risks and responsibilities of a modern-day relationship. 🙂

  18. 78

    Whatever… say what you will, I’m glad the day is coming when men have access to this:

    Whatever moaning or justifications you ladies are on about, this will settle all the problems as far as I am concerned for mens issues. If a guy has these options and still sires a child, he’s 100% responsible and needs to own up. But at least every guy will have that control available.

    To the whiner’s about being masturbatory tools for guys, well if that’s who you ended up with, im sorry you didn’t make a better character choice of person you take home. Nor does it’s stigma carry the same legal consequences that the man might encounter. This story wasn’t talking about the cad’s, it was talking about a guy who was being responsible and had his discarded sperm retrieved for purposes unintended by the man. No amount of saying how bad some guys are in treating women will make this point relevant or justifiable.

    Janice “y’all weren’t worried about the morality of unprotected sex, birth control, and unplanned pregnancy until modern science”
    Yes Janice, i bear the sins of my forefathers from before modern science. I guess you’ll agree you carry Eve’s unwashable sin to this day too huh.

    Sperm receptacles. Yup, i can only imagine the types of guys you’re attracted too to be making broad generalizations regarding all men. Strange how i genuinely loved pleasuring my wife for her needs as a loving couple, not thinking of her as a cum dumpster. Second she went off the pill to prepare for kids, it was condoms all the way because i was being ‘RESPONSIBLE’ because she still wanted sex as much as i did..

    And im not generalizing (like you) that all women want to steal sperm, hardly. But i am floored at the measured defense of such antics by a select few women in this group. Pitiful.

    Kudos again to the women who called this sick behavior on what it was.

  19. 79

    [email protected]: You said “If a guy has these options and still sires a child, he’s 100% responsible and needs to own up.”

    Uh, how about if a guy sires a child NO MATTER WHAT he’s 100% responsible and needs to own up. Even if he’s on male birth control pills and she gets pregnant. Because that will happen. No form of artificial birth control is 100% risk free. Also, the courts assume that both parties understand all risks involved when they engage in sexual intercourse and so you won’t find any legal backing for your position. So, sorry–no way to put all of the responsibility for pregnancy on the woman anymore. And no way to be 100% protected against it unless you stop having sex.

    A harsh reality, I know. We women have been dealing with it for eons. It does feel nice finally to share the burden.

  20. 80


    Your comment.

    “To the whiner’s about being masturbatory tools for guys, well if that’s who you ended up with, im sorry you didn’t make a better character choice of person you take home. ”

    Right back at you. Those men who whine about getting pregnant with a woman, and ending up paying her child support, I’m sorry you didn’t make a better character choice of the person you had sex with.

    You call women who complain about irresponsible choices whiners, but oh my goodness you want to complain yourself and play the victim. You are not a victim. Sex=child. Get it through your head.

    And I would say exactly the same thing to a woman used for sex. No-one can use you, unless you let them so pay attention to the consquences.

    How about you ignore what women are doing, and take responsibility for yourself? Because it really doesn’t matter how much you want to blame women, when you end up with a child, you will be responsible for that child because nature trumps society. Blaming everyone else, isn’t going to change your reality. Be responsible, don’t make excuses.

    As to the male pill, I support it whole-heartedly.Maybe then you men will stop whining about the fact you want pleasure without responsibility.

    Also watch sex, especially the casual sex supply dry as quickly as a glass of milk in the sahara desert. 

    The male pill, will be a wake up call. Everyone will begin to realize how much they are using everyone else, for their pleasure.

    And no-one wants to be used.

  21. 81

    @Ann #84

    “Uh, how about if a guy sires a child NO MATTER WHAT he’s 100% responsible and needs to own up. Even if he’s on male birth control pills and she gets pregnant. Because that will happen. No form of artificial birth control is 100% risk free.”

    Believe me, if that happens then yes, I would agree, own up to it. I will happily amend my prior statement. I’m banking on the fact that drug companies that put the 99.9% effectiveness rating on packages means it’s pretty damn bulletproof when used properly. So if BOTH parties were on a pill, that would make it what? 99.999999999999999999%

    I’d buy those odds in a committed, loving trusting relationship, even if one party did oopsie forget a pill.

    For hookups and one night stands, adding condoms and the NuvaRing will certainly help with both STD prevention and unwanted births. This combo i’d put down for 100% effective.

    And if any of the previous scenarios are in play (condom inverting, getting man drunk, lying about being on the pill, or raping underage males, the chances are diminished greatly of a travesty of justice.

    It would put an end to even the perception of sperm snatching, which would tackle the original point of this post dead on.

    I rest my case.

  22. 82

    @AnnieC #84

    “Right back at you. Those men who whine about getting pregnant with a woman, and ending up paying her child support, I’m sorry you didn’t make a better character choice of the person you had sex with.”

    -fair enough, although you seem to delight in the quite disparate circumstances involved. i believe i’m hearing moral equivalence between the shame one might feel for giving it up to a one night stand vs. a woman deceiving a man with sole intent of procuring his semen to lock him into a legal nightmare and 18 years of servitude taking care of offspring he did not plan for and was unable to terminate. you also make a great case for men and women going to lawyers to write up contracts prior to having sex to lay out specifics regarding possible pregnancies, termination and or rescinding of support issues.

    AnnieC, i can tell you got a chip, you maybe have been used or abused or i don’t know what.. but your comments really reflect it. Your broad strokes across ALL men simply ‘pleasuring’ themselves without responsibility flies in the face of this whole effen post. When men DO take responsibility, some women (notice i didn’t behave like you and just say ALL WOMEN, no, some women want a baby so bad they rig the system and either conveniently go off pill without saying, or at the greatest extreme, pull one of these condom games. It’s not that all men are responsible, but most certainly are. And while some certainly like to pump and dump women, most certainly do not, as time and again studies show men want what women want, long monogomous trusting relationships.

    SOOOO, if you continue ending up in relationships where you are used, pumped and dumped, used as a cum dumpster, etc… then perhaps the old ‘fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me’ applies and you should consider whether it’s ALL MEN or perhaps yourself that requires another looksee.

    If casual sex dries up, ill welcome it. I was never a part of that scene, and i’m pretty sure it’s only the top 10-15% of men who have been enjoying the abundance of it, whereas women have been enjoying the fruits of their sexual liberation for over 4 decades, trying to have sex like men, and getting used in the process. It’s what feminism promised, you can’t pin this on men. You ran after the bad boys and wanted to screw like them, but got screwed in the process and now moan about how ALL men are like that. It bores me to hear it, because it was not a mess of my making nor did i have any part to play but to be on the sidelines and watch the train wreck.

    And how any of this relates to the original post is beyond me, but i had to take it there to tie up loose ends. Once again… I welcome safe male birth control pills, minimally invasive and reversible vacsectomies and men acting responsibly with regards to their reproductive rights. How women will respond and adapt to it is not my concern.

  23. 83

    Last one meant to read “@AnnieC #85”

    This one is a quick addendum to @Ann #84

    “..if a guy sires a child NO MATTER WHAT he’s 100% responsible..”

    I change that to no, i disagree under the following circumstances:

    – woman rapes underage boy
    – woman obtains sperm from overly intoxicated/incapacitated/mentally undeveloped man, or by any other means for use in procreation purposes without expressed consent (sperm banks) unless actual Intercourse was involved where both parties could mutually give consent.

  24. 84


    I don’t have casual sex Mike so no, I don’t have a  chip on my shoulder about that.

    What I find irritating, coming from both men and women are those that refuse to take responsibility for what they do. Your final statement.

    “woman obtains sperm from overly intoxicated/incapacitated/mentally undeveloped man, or by any other means for use in procreation purposes without expressed consent (sperm banks) unless actual Intercourse was involved where both parties could mutually give consent. ”

    Are you saying that if the man consented to sex, and a child results he is responsible for that child?

  25. 85


    I don’t see what problem you have comprehending what i wrote. let me modify it to see if you take issue with the modifications:

    MAN obtains SEX from overly intoxicated/incapacitated/mentally undeveloped WOMAN, IS RAPE. Unless actual Intercourse was involved where both parties could mutually give consent.

    What you have there is the classic definition of rape. Now i know this seems to frazzle a lot of women so i won’t bring it up anymore.

    In answer to your final question:
    “Are you saying that if the man consented to sex, and a child results he is responsible for that child?”

    If the man consented to INTERCOURSE, and ejaculated inside the woman > YES
    If the man consented to INTERCOURSE, ejaculated into a condom that did not break, and threw it in the trash > NO.
    If the man did not give consent to intercourse, and was drunk or incapable of giving consent, he is the victim of rape.
    If hes given a consensual bj (which is a sexual act of which orgasm is a natural known byproduct) and a child results, well i guess we’ll just have to educate men to mistrust women and have them examine their mouths like a dentist would to make sure it’s all gone right?

    Do we want to keep going in circles on trying to find a catchall for justification and rationalization for this sort of behavior?

  26. 86


    Okay, so are you saying that a man, who had sex, with a condom and did NOT dispose of it correctly and a woman used it..that man is responsible for the child.

    Just trying to clarify here Mike. You did say he must dispose of it correctly, which means removing it from the woans grasp, IE flush down the be truly responsible.

    I’m very happy, when men are finally realizing, their responsibility when it comes to sex.

    Ultimately the only excuse you actually have as a man, is if you were raped or very young and innocent.

    Otherwise you chose to have sex, knowing the consequences and will deal with it. Are we agreeing or not aggreeing mike?

  27. 87
    Hadley Paige

    RE: AnnieC @ 90 “Just trying to clarify here Mike. You did say he must dispose of it correctly, which means removing it from the woans grasp, IE flush down the be truly responsible.
    Correct me if I am not getting this right but it seems that AnnieC is saying that sperm secretly removed from a woman’s mouth after a BJ and used to impregnate herself puts the man (who had no intention to impregant the woman; or reasonable expectation that such a deceit would occur) morally on the hook for child support.
    If this is the case I hope to God that AnnieC’s view is not representative of American women in general bc if it is, it is yet another strong argument for avoiding them.
    Incidentally, this situation as a practical matter is irrelevant bc de jure, if the kid is genetically yours you are on the hook for child support — period (the fairness of this unexcepted law, I will leave for another forum). And even if there was an out in law, it would be nearly impossible to prove the deceit that she engaged in.
    So if AnnieC’s view is predominant or at least prevalant in contemporary womanhood the logical advice to guys is>> if you want to be sure you don’t become a child support tool, make sure she swallows and rise her out. God how depressing modern dating has become!

  28. 88

    @Hadley Paige # 92

    It would appear that you and me are sensing the same thing. No matter how much clarity or legal language I use, it seems she throws the question of responsibility back at me in some vague manner hoping I will say ‘Yes’ which will then include some immoral or unethical action I failed to be able to conjure.

    For instance her continued insistence for using the word ‘sex’ instead of the actual act, knowing that oral sex constitutes sex, thereby allowing for a child conceived by woman using sperm obtained through ‘sex’ (bj) to all of a sudden force a guy to own up and be responsible for creating a child.

    I’m tired of this stupid circle she’s apparently trying to spin me through hoping beyond hope that i recognize a man should take responsibility for the siring of a child he took great pains to avoid having, only to be sabotaged in those efforts by some sick twisted b*tch. uh uh. sorry, will not now, nor ever accept it. The law currently makes no distinction in the way sperm is obtained, only the needs of the child, so woman have the advantage in the legal sphere. Until the law either ceases to reward women who perform this unscrupulous actions OR the law begins to allow for legal contracts to be drawn up prior to people choosing to have sex, lining out what expectations and liabilities and responsibilities are on the table, the best defense at the present is to always bag it and trash it yourself, and if you’re going to bust a nut anywhere at the women’s behest make sure you force the issue and make sure she swallows it or clean it off her pronto. If she asks you what you’re doing or why you’re being so mechanical or acting strange, tell them about AnnieC re-enforcing prevailing attitudes.

  29. 89


    What I’m saying isn’t specifically about this situation. I’ve already said I think it’s disgusting if a person lies about something like this. 

    It is very simple however. What we do, has consequences. So you deal with those consequences, or you don’t have sex in the first place. Complaining about how wrong it is, doesn’t stop it from happening, nor can you ever truly prove it. So don’t be stupid about it, if the child is biologically yours and a result of consensual sex, the child is your responsibility.

    I don’t have a lot of empathy for people who willingly do something with known consequences, then complain about what happens.

  30. 90
    Hadley Paige

    RE: AnnieC @95 ” I’ve already said I think it’s disgusting if a person lies about something like this”
    But you did not say that he should not be responsible for child support payments, which was the point that  Mike & I each in our own way were trying to make and that each of us perceived you  as advocating a child support repsonsibility. 
    So I ask you point blank. In the situation described above, should that person be responsible for child support payments.  Yes or No. Please choose one.

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