Invasion Of The Sperm Snatchers

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Several online articles have appeared recently regarding “sperm snatching,” including this one on Big Think. It cites a column in the Daily Mail by Liz Jones as well as another post on Big Think about sperm for sale. The author tackles the concept of Dynamic (or Time) Inconsistency as it relates to rising number on deceptive pregnancies: it is the economic concept that preferences can change over time. What may seem like the optimal choice in period one (not wanting the father’s money or support during pregnancy, for example) is not necessarily the optimal choice in period two (after the baby is born).

According to the Daily Mail article, a 2001 survey showed that 42% of women would lie about their contraceptive use if they wanted to get pregnant and their partner did not. Author Jones describes how, over the course of two relationships, she snuck into the bathroom in the middle of the night in order to inseminate herself using sperm rescued from condoms, despite the fact that both men had made their unwillingness to become fathers very, very clear to her. She tried to sperm snatch, but was unsuccessful.

In Big Think’s related article E-Sperm For Sale: Man Not Included, writer Pamela Haag discusses the sperm trade, and how children are “the new spouses,” the emotional and romantic anchors of many a modern family, NOT men. She ultimately advocates for effective male contraception since sperm snatching is becoming more rampant.

I’m disgusted by this concept of sperm snatching, but hey, I’m not a woman trying to get pregnant. Would love to hear your reactions below.

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Comments:

  1. 101
    Helen

    Can’t believe it, but I’m going to defend Hadley on this one.

    I believe, as others say above, that this is just a joke because it’s outrageous. But supposing it were true: If a man took precautions  not to inseminate a woman, and she somehow manages to obtain his sperm and inseminate herself, then he should not be responsible for child payments, period. There should  be some law about lunacy that would excuse the man from child payments under such extreme circumstances.

    As for those commenting that the man should have gotten to know the woman’s character before he slept with her: in an ideal world, this would be true. But it isn’t reality. Many people  today  (even in the past, for that matter) don’t know everything about the characters of those with whom they sleep.  

    Have  any of you read  “The Thorn Birds” by  Colleen McCullough? In it, this  unbearably passive-aggressive woman does this exact thing to a man (not artificial insemination, but a deliberate attempt to have his child), and years afterward  blames him for it,  which  plays a partial role in his death. Over-the-top drama… and apparently it’s true in real life too.

  2. 102
    justme

    I guess I still come back to this: accidental pregnancies do happen.  HOW do we tell which women are pregant due to fishing sperm out of whatever – from the ones who really do get pregnant just accidentally?   No form of birth control is 100% effective so their is always a chance of pregnancy.  

  3. 103
    AnnieC

    @107

    “Many people  today  (even in the past, for that matter) don’t know everything about the characters of those with whom they sleep.   ”

    That’s why we had rules, that stopped sex prior to marriage, that made divorce very difficult, and why parents(those that are older and wiser) had some say in their young , hormonal , ignorant childrens lives.

    At what point, do we all pay the price, because some-one else didn’t do their homework on a persons character? I understand the view that this behaviour is highly unethical and unfair and I agree, but attutides will begin to change, when more and more reponsible people, start to pay for those that are irresponsible.

    Bleeding hearts stop bleeding once cause and effect becomes apparent.

    Helen, do you want to be paying for this man’s child?  Do you want to pay benefits to a woman who can’t take care of her child? Do you want to live in a society where wether or not a woman is capable of taking care of a child, she just pop’s one out anyway? Do you want to live in a society of people that are so damn selfish they only think about what they want, and damn the consequences?

    At what point do we stop  treating people like perpetual victims and recognize people are making choices that we are all paying for.

    And as ridiculous as you think it seems, I have no doubt, that there are many, many, many pregnacies that result in duplicity. I can think of about 5 men I’ve known off the top of my head, where I am almost certain their partners went off the pill(In fact one even admitted it). I do not believe it is that uncommon, even if it shocks people with basic human decency.

    We must demand that both men and women where possible take their own personal responsibility in this or we are going to be in a major world of hurt. It’s getting worse. I have no doubt that this article is true.

  4. 104
    Ray

    I don’t think ‘sperm snatching’ is unethical unless the woman tries to then get the father to participate in raising or supporting the child.

    IMHO, what is  more ‘unethical’ are men who think they can screw their 20’s-30’s away being Mr. Noncommittal (basically, a woman’s biological window of opportunity)  and then decide to  finally settle down in his 40’s…      

    I say make noncomittal men just as ‘irrelevant’ as  they’ve made  women…    Especially the 40+ ones who think they can marry younger once they finally pull their heads out of their backsides.  

  5. 105
    NonExist

    Most women are not like this. But a small few have this deceit in mind.
    My ex wife was but my stupidity factored in so I can only hold her responsible for lying.
    We agreed before marriage neither of us wanted children.
    I used condoms and she used birth control regularly throughout our relationship.
    I was  23 and had a very good job at a tech company when we met. She was 28 and was working on her graduate degree in pediatrics.   We got married about 6 months after meeting.
    We had been married a year (before I knew about the infidelity) and she asked why couldn’t we go natural. I refused at first because double protection was a guarantee.

    But she kept pleading and I gave in.  Since I took her to get her shot and she was on my insurance I figured there would be no harm in relaxing myself a couple of times.
    And well the docs kept refusing to give me a vasectomy because of my age.

    Two months  passed and I told her I just felt uncomfortable without my condoms.   So we started using them again. About three months later I had just finished full contact sparring on a saturday with some friends.   We decided to hit the local theatre.   My wife had already said she’s be out with friends the whole day so I was free.  

    Got to the theatre and there she was passionately kissing some guy.
    At first I was mad but I decided to play it cool on the advice of a buddy.   Must have been my lucky day. I went up , introduced myself as her friend and found out that they had been seeing each other for about six months.   He probably sensed something because she did not say a word.

    Anyway… to shorten things, I filed for divorce, she told me she was pregnant, we went through court proceedings, had to fight for years to see my kid, and then he dies in a car accident on his birthday when I begged her to let him spend that weekend with me.

    Nobody I know knows the full story except my cousin who is like a brother to me. But this article tocuched a nerve so …..

    After that my libido tanked big time.   And withdrew from dating because very few women I met were willing to accept that.   Still went out with friends though and just enjoyed other things.

    And finally I got comfortable enough to start dating regularly  a  few years ago  again.

  6. 106
    NonExist

    @AnnieC #97
    They are working on a male contraceptive pill that does not screw with hormone levels in a way that does not promote prostate cancer or estrogen overload symptoms like gynecomastia.

    Actually there is a natural compound called Ursolic acid that according to a study in mice caused temporary infertility but I do not have access to my notes on that at the moment.

    It is currently being used in the bodybuilding world to help retain lean mass while losing fat.

  7. 107
    Fiona

    Frankly I do not believe anything I read in the British tabloids. However, I do agree that stealing sperm is no way to behave. it is women who do things like this that give other women in their late thirties that do want children a bad reputation.

  8. 108
    Nick

    Here is a different opinion, and for the record I am not trolling at all, just giving a different viewpoint. I fully support women stealing sperm from condoms to impregnate themselves. Our society is still completely dominated by men– look at Capitol Hill and the laws proposed there to control a woman’s body. Stealing a man’s sperm is one of the few tools women have to assert their power.

  9. 109
    jack

    Fleur #14                              
      
    thank I read that I know what to expect
      
    they younger they are the less they want kinds

  10. 110
    Juicy Dirt

    Not only do women do this to their spouses or partners behind their backs, there are predatory women who will go as far as to slip an attractive stranger the date rape drug , wait until he is passed out cold and will use a conjerk and proceed to masturbate them until they ejaculate. Then leave and insiminate themselves. I know because this happened to a close friend of mine. No recollection of anything but a mystery used condom on the floor. Then a strange woman appears on his doorstep a month and a half later , announced with a smile she was pregnant, and he didnt know her name Or recognizE heR. On the night in question this 240 lb seasoned drinker had 3 beers. She proceeded to ruin his life for the next 9 years. I would like to know if this has happened to any other men. this has traumatized him and made him think he was going crazy. Grasping at straws as to how this could have happened to him.  

  11. 111
    tamara

    @Fleur #61: “But if a guy has come inches from a woman’s vagina and she happens to wipe it in a way that moves it toward the vagina, the man is hardly doing a very good job of protecting his sperm.”

    Omg you gotta be freaking kidding me. That is so gross and unethical. And I mean, like Mike #37 said, “Those who steal sperm because they can’t find a willing partner to commit to them and put up with their BS is not the fault of men.”  

    I’m happy that women like Jennifer #63 and #64 have spoken out against this ridiculous tactic, to show that many of us aren’t like this. I initially didn’t trust that 42% statistic, but seeing the very immoral/amoral views expressed by some women (and some men) here makes me wonder if I’m being naive.

    I do have sympathy for women who are great pple and want lasting rships but still struggle to make a rship work–however they are exceptions, the unlucky ones. Generally if a woman is a decent catch and wants to get married, it’s not difficult. If u find it difficult, probably u’re a) spending time with the wrong guys, or b) got some big flaws that are dealbreakers. I consider myself quite a screwup in some ways–make some really bad decisions–and yet I have no shortage of men trying to have committed rships with me and have been proposed to twice–once by a really great catch (by conventional standards). The big flaws I have are clearly not considered dealbreakers by men; however they trouble me to the degree that i can’t be happy even in rships with great guys.  

    The solution for such a woman (who can’t get a proposal or have a man who’s at least willing to have and raise a child with her) should Not be to deviously get herself pregnant, but to work on the big flaws that she has. Or reflect on what kinda men she’s dating. I can guess one big flaw that such women have–really dubious morals. And this stuff can be sensed quite quickly.

  12. 112
    Lisa

    How horrible! I thought about the whole accident thing and how often it happens and was always suspect.   I have been on the pill for 20 years and I’m quite active and have not gotten pregnant.   If you take it correctly it’s almost 100%.   Sure there are anomalies and women that get pregnant on antibiodics but are there that many? Nah! I missed a pill here and there but always told my partner and if he wanted to have sex still we used condoms.   If both partners know that there is no bc that’s one thing but to lie that’s very selfish! Go to a sperm bank.   And the men almost always leave.

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