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Sex

“Men look for sex and find love.” If you disagree, you still don’t understand how sex is the primary driver for men. Essentially, men fall for you during the process of pursuing sex with you. Which means that if you have sex before you get into a relationship with him, you’re taking a predictably high risk that things aren’t going to work out. Click below to understand how men think about sex; you will be forever empowered.

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Find out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women.

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I’m a 40-Year Old Man Who Has Never Had A Girlfriend Or Sex.

First off, I’m glad to have found your site. Your advice is thoughtful and reasonable, unlike many others out there. Suffice to say, you’ve given me a lot to think…

Read More… 223 comments

Why Does He Text Me Photos of His Penis?

Why Does He Text Me Photos of His Penis?

Evan, I meet a man via an online dating site, we email back and forth, get to know each other, then he will ask for my phone number. If I…

Read More… 220 comments

Why Women Shouldn’t Pursue Sex (According to Science, Not Me!)

Sex is a fun topic to write about and I’ve written a LOT about it. But this piece by Ann Friedman in New York magazine  is so spot on that I…

Read More… 211 comments

When Should I Have Sex With Him For the First Time?

When Should I Have Sex With Him For the First Time?

In the latest “Water is wet; News at 11” report, the Journal of Sex Research reports that – get this – having sex too early in a relationship is a…

Read More… 180 comments

Should I Stick Around If My Boyfriend’s Sex Drive Is Gone?

Evan, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. This past month, our intimacy levels have severely dropped. A friend of ours who we confide in mutually passed…

Read More… 180 comments

You Didn’t Lose The Person You Thought You Lost

You Didn't Lose The Person You Thought You Lost

You know what it’s like to get devastated when a promising new relationship doesn’t work out? Well, take heart – you didn’t actually lose ANYTHING. In fact, you gained the…

Read More… 179 comments

Is Monogamy Harder for Men or Women?

The confirmation bias is a tendency to prefer information that confirms whatever you already believe. It’s dangerous, because under the influence of the confirmation bias, you cherry-pick only facts that…

Read More… 168 comments

Is Hooking Up Dangerous or Liberating?

Just came back from the gym and heard an interesting piece on NPR – The Hookup: Dangerous or Liberating? Like any reasonable debate, both sides have merit. I don’t think…

Read More… 154 comments

Is it Wrong to Stop Sleeping with a Man While I Figure Out How I Feel About Him?

The Rules: 20 Years Later, Do They Still Work?

I’ve been spending a lot of time with an attractive, interesting man these past few months (I’m 37, he’s 32). Until recently, we were just friends – dinners, cultural events,…

Read More… 149 comments

Why Does My Boyfriend Only Want Sex a Few Times A Week?

My Husband Refuses to Have Sex with Me

Dear Evan, I have a problem with my boyfriend and our sex life. I want sex more often than he does. I have never had this problem before in other…

Read More… 147 comments
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You Said

  • "'Only if the woman is young and with the man for his money. Middle aged women who have their own money aren’t interested in much older men.' Not true at all, unless you're talking about a twenty-…"
    shaukat on I’m 40 And Want To Date Men 8 Years Younger. Am I Being Unrealistic?
  • "Emily, to I 100% agree. 100% of the people cannot be top tier. I've never thought differently. What mystifies me is how women are so quick to remind men that they are mostly average...and in f…"
    Russell Hush on I’m 40 And Want To Date Men 8 Years Younger. Am I Being Unrealistic?
  • "Beautifully said, Evan....and deeply worthy of reflection and action...Love, B…"
    Bija Bennett on On Empathy
  • "This…"
    Lana on I’m In a Relationship With the Woman I Cheated With and I Want to Go Back to My Ex.
  • "AK. It guarantees you are with a liar though.…"
    Lain on I’m In a Relationship With the Woman I Cheated With and I Want to Go Back to My Ex.
  • "I’m in my late 40s and what society considers conventionally attractive. However, I’m certainly not for many as I’m divorced with 3 kids at home. I get about 30-50 messages per day.…"
    Chris on How Many Emails Do The Most Attractive Women Get Online?
  • "I don't get that either, I think it makes people seem really insecure when they talk about how young they think they look. And no, a lot of the time the people saying that they look younger actually d…"
    Jenn on I’m 40 And Want To Date Men 8 Years Younger. Am I Being Unrealistic?
  • "Rusty LH, We all like to think we're an exception to the rule, but we're not. In all seriousness, it's one of the hardest lessons in life -- realizing our own mediocrity.…"
    Emily, to on I’m 40 And Want To Date Men 8 Years Younger. Am I Being Unrealistic?

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  • Ann S.

    “Without your help, I never could have imagined that I could be in a relationship like this one.”

    I'm in my 60's and expected that I would not have a committed relationship again. I'm still dealing with issues internally of fear and past experiences, as is he. But we can talk about these things and know that we have something special.

    Ann S.
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    "Being able to check in with Evan each week was like a safety net to give this a go."

    I also discovered that I could attract a ton of quality men, in no time at all, if I needed to go back out there.  It's a relief to know I have options. But really, I'm very, very much in love. THIS is  the relationship I want, and I have it!

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    I feel more confident and relaxed and I'm not even sure it matters if ӬI meet the one. I have a whole new way to enjoy life and enjoy having Ӭmen in my life.

    Aileen W.

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

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