Who Enjoys Casual Sex?

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Lots has been written about casual sex and the hookup culture – to the point where it has to be very confusing for people to navigate the booty call waters themselves. But a new study points out what most of us could have probably figured out for ourselves:

“A new study published in the journal Social Psychological & Personality Science suggests that the potential positive and negative outcomes of casual sex are not mutually exclusive: If you’re the type of person who enjoys engaging in casual sex, then hooking up can boost your self-esteem and life satisfaction. But if you’re not that kind of person, then it won’t.”

In other words, do whatever the hell you want. Whatever makes you feel good. Amen to that.

If you’re a woman who sleeps with a guy and thinks that it means he likes you, wants to see you again, or that he’s going to be your boyfriend, you’re playing a dangerous game of Russian Roulette with your emotions.

Because I have repeatedly cautioned women to not have sex outside of a committed relationship, I have been accused of being anti-sex or a slut-shamer. Couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am many things, but a hypocrite isn’t one of them. If a woman wants to sleep with a guy on the first date just because it’s fun and she has   no attachment to whether she sees him again, well, let’s just say I would have loved to have met her ten years ago. No judgment here.

My only point – now backed up by the above study – is that random sex may be fun for some people (often extroverted men) but it isn’t fun for others – and those are the women to whom I’m offering my advice. If you’re a woman who sleeps with a guy and thinks that it means he likes you, wants to see you again, or that he’s going to be your boyfriend, you’re playing a dangerous game of Russian Roulette with your emotions. If you are going to stare at your phone for his next text, check his Facebook page, browse his dating profile to see if he’s online, and stop seeing all other men because you like the guy you slept with casually, maybe casual sex is not for you.

But, “with sexually permissive students, those who successfully engaged in casual sex reported higher rates of self-esteem and lower rates of depression and anxiety than those who failed to seal the deal.” Basically, hook-up culture is good for people who like hook-up culture, just like marriage is good for people who want monogamy and steak is good to people who like steak. Full article can be seen here:

Can you handle the consequences of casual sex? Or did you try it and found that it hurt too much?

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Comments:

  1. 41
    Lindsey Ball

    I will probably get hosed for this comment but I live in San Diego, CA — the land of hook up culture. My assessment?   Casual sex is nothing more than an emotional coping mechanism.   I have literally met less than five people who genuinely enjoy sleeping around and never speaking to their sex partners after.   Sure, some people have less shame about it than others.   But casual sex for the sake of casual sex?   Total misnomer.   More often than not, people seem to have casual sex because they have hangups causing them to participate in the same  pattern of behavior over and over again.   Most of them don’t even realize  what  they actually want out of it.

  2. 42
    Anne

    Holy Shi**. I don’t have time to read   all the comments but I did find the article and the responses very entertaining and informative. Love EMK!

     

     

  3. 44
    Juan

    1) Sex is not a sin. It’s beautiful. It’s about giving, letting go of ego.

    2) Sex is pleasure, use it wisely. Not as an escape, from fear and loneliness.

    3) Sex is such a powerful neurological union. Too many partners and you could get confused about your feelings. And not know from who they are coming from.

    4) Lead by example. Be whoever you want to date. These includes having or not casual Sex.

    5) learn about Sex. Not only how others can pleasure you, but how you can please them.

    6) Dont buy the popular belief, how do you want the world to be?

    7) Life is not as many poliamorous sites and app promote. Most of them just exploit our needs and emotions to sell us shit.

     

  4. 45
    S.

    I’m a woman, almost 20 and I feel horrible with casual sex, even when I did it with a decent guy. I need a connection and I already love someone so I feel guilty.

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