Why Does the Guy I’m Seeing Like Me More Since I Told Him I Was a Virgin?

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Dear Evan,

I really hope you can help me with this predicament.   About a month and a half ago, I met this guy at a bar, the day after I had just ended a very short and confusing juvenile relationship.   He seemed like a stand up guy and we flirted and talked a lot.   I needed to take things slow because of where I was in life–just out of a relationship and just having graduated college.   On our fourth date, the issue of race and religion came up.   We are different religions and races, mine being more conservative on both accounts, but I told him I make decisions on the future of relationships based on each individual person.   The issue of sex also came up, and I was straightforward, truthful, and tactful and told him that I made a personal choice to not have sex outside of marriage and that I was a virgin.   He said that was great and he really respects that.

It was after this conversation that he seemed to change.   He started calling me almost every day, and on our fifth date, he told me that I had “most of the qualities he looks for in a woman.”   He wanted to define the relationship, which I was not ready for at this point.   On our sixth date, he tells me and I quote “I don’t want to scare you away but…you sort of…complete me”     Later, my friend, who had double-dated with us, tells me that he told her that he would consider converting for me if things “got that deep” but would want our children to know about his religious background.   I hadn’t even agreed to be his girlfriend at this point.   I like this guy but whoa!

I freaked out at this point, and withdrew a little.   When I tried to talk to him about everything, he made light of the comments.   Although, when I pressed him about the reasons why he liked me so much, he listed, in the following order:   1) that I was a virgin and that that was something hard to come across and that he respected that, 2) I was “cool people” to hang out with, 3) we got along well, 4) I was educated.   What am I to make of this guy?   I expected reason #4 to be higher on the list, and reason #1 to be lower.

What are your insights?   Should I end this for good?   Is he crazy?   Am I crazy?

Effei

Virginity can function as a selling point. Witness Exhibit A who suddenly decided he was in love with you once he learned that you had a hymen.

A multilayered question from a booksmart girl. Where to begin?

Let’s start with the virginity thing.

I’ve answered questions from virgins before and really feel for them. It’s not easy having a moral code that is out of step with the majority of the world.

Then again, virginity can function as a selling point. Witness Exhibit A who suddenly decided he was in love with you once he learned that you had a hymen.

Frankly, that’s a bit messed up, and I’d be concerned if I were you.

Now I’ll admit — I don’t fully understand the virgin until marriage thing.

I don’t understand why a man would prefer someone with no sexual experience whatsoever. It’s like trying to train an employee to type when you’re used to people who can type 75wpm.

And I also don’t understand it from the virgin’s perspective. Sex doesn’t have to be procreative. It doesn’t have to be with someone you love, although it’s nice. And sex is, by most accounts, a really fun pastime. Not only is it a great way to kill twenty minutes before you go to sleep, but it’s also an exhilarating bonding experience between two people….

And until you have experienced that sexual bond with a few men, you really have no idea what’s out there.

It might be easy to say that you only want to save it for your one and only, but what if your one and only doesn’t please you? It’s like assuming you wanted to be a doctor for your whole life, but learning in med school that you actually hate it. People do this ALL the time. There’s no downside in doing your research. And yes, having sex with other men besides your future husband can be considered very fun research.

The same guy who puts you on a pedestal for being a virgin might take you down a notch when you’re not.

Lest anyone fly off the handle, I’m not saying Effei should go screw a stranger at a bar. But maybe having sex with the first man she falls in love with BEFORE she gets married would be a decent idea. Test driving the vehicle before buying it is rarely considered poor etiquette.

Anyway, this is really about your new guy, and I’m more concerned about him.

It’s a very common male psychology to exalt the untouched — to value the new car instead of the old car, etc. But that psychology plays to the age-old double standard — men are studs, women are sluts. Somehow, by not being with anybody, you’ve turned yourself into even MORE of an object, the shiniest apple at the top of the tree. And this guy is scrambling to climb it as fast as he can. But what happens when he takes a bite? What happens, Effei?

Neither you nor I know the answer. But I’d be pretty concerned. See, his change in tone with you made one thing very clear to me — he’s not enamored with YOU; he’s enamored with what you REPRESENT. And that’s dangerous — as dangerous as a woman liking a guy because he’s rich. Wealthy men are always on the lookout for golddiggers, with good reason — they’re often very good at masking their intentions. Your guy isn’t. The second he heard you were untouched, your value to him skyrocketed. And it shouldn’t. You’re the same woman you were the day before.

Which is my big worry.

The same guy who puts you on a pedestal for being a virgin might take you down a notch when you’re not.

So while I’m tempted to tell you to dump this guy, I would urge you to continue take it slow and let him reveal his true intentions.

He IS going too fast, he DOES seem insincere, and you DON’T want to be objectified because you’re different.

Please come back and let us know how it went.

Evan

P.S. Get over the idea that men should value you for your education. It’s not that education doesn’t matter — it’s that it matters FAR LESS than the things that he DOESN’T possess himself. Like sex, for example.

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Comments:

  1. 61
    Leo

    I disagree with Evans’s response… Not entirely though, just the fact that he was unable to put himself in Effie’s shoes. I myself understand her POV because I have taken the decision of staying a virgin until marriage. Also you gave an excuse of you being a ‘secular’ dating coach. Which is totally not an acceptable one. The reason being that she mentioned that it was a personal choice instead of saying something like “my religion prohibits me to ” . I myself am an atheist and yet have taken such a decision, I do have my own private reasons but none are even remotely relevant to religion.

  2. 62
    Mavis

    I often agree with Evan’s comments, but not in this case. I don’t like that he advised her to “have some fun” and “test drive the car.” If anything, she could be commended for sticking to her values. I totally get why men would find it attractive that she is a virgin – though in this case, I do agree that the guy sounds like a creep. I mean, I can see it being a bonus quality (she hasn’t “been around,” she has high standards etc.) but it certainly shouldn’t be the FIRST THING on his list of reasons why he likes her. No, being a virgin myself (and I guess that makes me biased) I’d prefer to be with someone who understands my choice to wait until marriage and respects that choice, but not someone who would have it as their main reason for dating me.

  3. 63
    Dan

    Stupid…
    Not everyone wants to sleep around and sexually bound with multiple partners.Sex and love go together otherwise it’s a fail,it’s not a sport.

    “I don’t understand why a man would prefer someone with no sexual experience whatsoever. It’s like trying to train an employee to type when you’re used to people who can type 75wpm.”-not man enough to be the first and a women’s only?

    The answer this person gave is a big bullshit.Trying to lift up people who sleep around and lower those who actually have standards.

    1. 63.1
      Buck25

      “…not man enough to be the first and a woman’s only?”

      @ Dan,

      Not man enough to be unafraid of comparison to those who have gone before you? Insecure much there, Pilgrim?

  4. 64
    rawr

    the comments and evan’s assessments are embarrassing. ladies take heed, your sexual experiences outside of your current relationship is, to a man, tolerable at most. sex isn’t hard and each person is different, you’ll get more and better experience with a single person over time than with multiple people. here’s another secret: if a man dumps you because of your inexperience, it’s because you can’t get him that short term thrill he’s looking for. if a man loves you, he will be patient with you, whether it’s you learning how to pleasure him and having sex in the first place. if he doesn’t plan on sticking around, or at least doesn’t at the moment, your inexperience will be nothing more than an inconvenience for him as he’s trying to get his rocks off.

    i’m sure evan’s agenda is to make all the the older city women, his main source of revenue, feel better about making poor decisions with men. think about it this way, picture the man you love having his c*ck inside of some other women’s slimey v*ginas, not so pleasant is it?

    your life your rules, just don’t let other people sell you bullshit. just take a look at some basic facts, 2 minutes of research.

  5. 65
    hunter

    …I agree with you, and to add to it, a large number of women are unaware of bedroom techniques to keep a man longer…..

  6. 66
    keysersoze

    There are two major reasons “Boys” crave virgins. One is a lack of endowment, this is the one time they might to not have a girl ask if it’s in yet. Two, lack of experience or general horrible reviews by past sexual partners on performance. See if they have never been with anyone else, they won’t know how terrible the dude is.

    I’ve been with 3 virgins too many. I felt awful, it hurts the girl(No matter how slow you put it in)and I never want to do that, I gave up on anal years ago, lol the girl who will let me is the kind of girl I never want to be with. So all I can say   to the young lady who’s bf is all excited as soon as he found out about her virginity, do yourself a favor and wait. Teenagers rarely know what they are doing, and if they do it’s because they have been screwing since they were 11 and well that messes a guy up.

    1. 66.1
      Grenoble

      That’s a lot of assumptions to make about “boys” ‘craving’ virgins.

      Religious convictions aside (since I’m not religious), many men (me included) may prefer to date a virgin not to avoid comparison with a previous lover, but to avoid complications from those previous lovers who may be jealous.

      I know of a few instances where an ex-BF came back into the picture and things got ugly between the ex-BF and the new BF.

      Assuming a guy wants a virgin because his penis is small or he has no clue what he’s doing in bed is kind of a leap in logic. May be true for some, but definitely not all.

      The risks for STIs may also be lower with virgins, but that’s not a guarantee as viruses  can be spread in numerous ways. From what I have seen in studies, there may be a correlation between the number of partners a woman has had and her risk for infidelity.

      Above all else, I would prefer to avoid women who are  jaded by previous sexual partners, and to be honest, many of the women I’ve met still hold on to their first or second partners. Many studies seem to suggest that women bond with men during sex. I can’t verify the veracity of this, but I would rather be with a woman who is completely “bonded” with me than be with someone who is entertaining the idea of her past lovers.

      So, yes, I would PREFER to date a virgin, but I wouldn’t hold it against a woman if she’s already had a lover or two. I just hope it’s not an insanely high number. I think 1 to 3 partners is reasonable to assume given the information I’ve found on people’s typical dating patterns.

    2. 66.2
      Russell

      What a load of dung.   I’m neither open star hung, nor am I small.   According to available info, I’m right in the middle.   While in that Navy, brother informed me of girls I had flings with while home leave, approaching him and inquiring about me with, as he put it, goo-goo eyes.

       

      And just as men are different sizes, so too do women come in different sizes.   I once approached a friend of my girlfriend’s who had been dating my friend.   He wanted me to find out why she didn’t want to date him anymore.   She told me that it was because he was too big.   In her words, sex shouldn’t hurt.

       

      Whether we like to admit it or not, when you have sex with a lot of people, it does reduce the “specialness” of it.   If you have only had sex with one person, it is a lot more special to you.

       

       

      I will say this, when I was younger, I had a conversation with several of my friends when one of them mentioned NOT Liking virgins.   The reason was simple.   He was the type that is emotionally unavailable.   He was like that with everyone…friends also.   In short, he is selfish.   He had no problem wanting things from other people, but didn’t like people wanting anything from him.   He did not like to inconvenienced at all.

       

      Well, we talked about it, and we all had the same experience.   When we were a girl’s first, she would be extremely devoted to us.   However, that came at a price.   She would also want a lot of your time.   Hard to explain, other than that she was simply very very in love.   Infatuated, if you will.   She would be more clingy, always wanting to talk,etc…    Well, that’s a problem for most young guys who want to be independent.   However, most of us outgrow that, so having a woman being that devoted to us is very attractive.   Unfortunately, that is near impossible to find with older women.

       

      So the truth is that a guy who finds that to be attractive has likely learned, either first hand, or by listening to the advice of older men, that he is likely to have a stronger relationship with a girl who is a virgin.   To the virgin, I would say, make him put a ring on it first.

  7. 67
    nanadgh

    I feel sorry for all those people who do not respect sex and do it before marriage …. Its a pity that you allow people to use you before the real deal. It is true it is not easy to control ones self in terms of that. But it is possible… Pls if you being a Virgin is his reason leave him… He is not serious. Meaning if you were not he wouldn’t marry you… Pls always marry a guy who loves you for you. Now people don’t even give respect to relationship any more. They just sleep with anyone… Its a shame if you don’t love and respect yourselves enough to want to keep yourself for your husband… The beauty of sex in marriage or life in general is lost. I miss the old days where purity ment something… If you have already had sex its cool but this time stop and wait for that special someone to shear it with… Husband/ wife… What is the one thing you can give to make your partner feel special… Friendship… Lol you can get that any where but that connection that comes from sex with the one you love and legally married to…

  8. 68
    godfrey

    You expected number 4 about your achievements to be number 1 and number 1 to be lower? Let me let you in on a little secret: men will never appreciate a woman for her achievements. Why? Because a man is not looking for a competitor but for a friend, a soul mate. Even the biggest player will settle down with a virgin. That’s why virginitty is number 1. Once a girl has slept with someone who doesn’t marry her it becomes easy to sleep with the next guy, and the next etc. But a virgin is a safe bet because she also doesn’t have any past lover to compare the current guy with, which to any guy is extremely attractive.virgins have low expectations going into a relationship the resulting act being that the guy dating her becomes self motivated to pull all stops to make her happy. Kind of like how a guy will actaully spend more on a girl who rarely asks her for money. The worth of a virgin is beyond measure.in a world gone mad with lust and sex its the virgins that are the hope for a better moral future.

    1. 68.1
      misty

      So you make it your  goal to attract  a person  with low expectations.  Nice.

      1. 68.1.1
        Godfrey

        Definitely beats trying to impress a girl who has been through 3sums, gangbangs and dozens of one-night stands. And please next time try your shaming tactics with someone else,I’m not an American guy that thing doesn’t faze me in the least.

        1. Misty

          Dont really care what you are. It’s clear you don’t know jack about women if you think porn star behavior is typical. And If it didn’t faze you you wouldn’t have fired back. Good luck finding your virgin.

    2. 68.2
      hunter

      godfrey,

      ..not all men want virgins…a world gone mad with lust and sex?…the very young do this, college/university days……..

       

    3. 68.3
      Adreana

      godfrey,

      Let me tell you a secret, there are gullible, insecure virgins and then there are smart, confident  virgins. The smart/confident ones don’t base their entire worth on something that is temporary ( virginity), and they surely aren’t interested in someone that thinks “virginity is number 1″… that is akin to saying  a “man’s  wealth and status is no. 1”.

      Once a ( gullible) woman loses her virginity to you , you’re fantasy of her is shattered, and you are miserable again looking for the next “goddess” to inspire and make you  feel high again. Whether you commit to her or not, you lose….the intial spark you felt was   based on something temporary instead the essence  of who she is as a person….The question is, do you have what it takes to attract your goddess?

      Your comments surely don’t make you sound like a stand up guy…but I’m sure you won’t fazed by it 🙂

       

       

  9. 69
    Adreana

    This is EXACTLY why I never bring up the topic of virginity unless it starts to get serious. You want to keep it a secret while you’re getting to know the guy and figuring him out.

    The fact that he changed so much after you shared that with him is alarming….he doesn’t like you for YOU, he’s caught up in the fantasy of being with a “perfect” virgin…in other words, the minute you lose your virginity is the minute you’re no   longer special to him ( and you feel like dirt) . BTW, what about his own sexual history? Is he one of those dudes that have slept with way too many women, but  once    he settles down he would only consider virgins/ or inexperienced women?    Be very careful.

    If I were you, I would run away from this guy. You owe it to yourself to take it slow and attract someone that love you for you and not for what’s in between   your legs.   Don’t be fooled by those that are in a hurry to commit and propose to you, even if you wait to sleep with them after marriage, they will treat you like trash once they get what they want.

    This  “man” isn’t stable, trustworthy or honorable. Find someone better.

    And Evan, I agree there is nothing wrong with having sex before marriage, but most of us women are much more sensitive and romantic than we lead on 😛   We might act like the “cool girls”, but at the end of the day, we want sex in the context of a loving relationship .)

     

    1. 69.1
      AJ

      “And Evan, I agree there is nothing wrong with having sex before marriage, but most of us women are much more sensitive and romantic than we lead on 😛   We might act like the “cool girls”, but at the end of the day, we want sex in the context of a loving relationship .)”

      Thank you! So many of my girlfriends who encourage me to “have fun” are miserable themsleves, making shitty choices when it comes to men or still hung up on some douche from their past. I think the percentage of women who are actually ok with sleeping around and engaging in the extreme end of hook up culture are not really coping as well as they try to lead people to believe. I see it all the time with my friends and if I tell them to try a different approach and at least try to really get to know a guy before sleeping with him they get defensive. With women conflating empowerment with engaging in the same male behaviours we find abhorrent, and men reaping the benefits of never having to put in the effort to get punani, we have entered the golden age for fuckbois.

       

  10. 70
    Austin

    The answer is simple. Once you lose it, you are more likely to view sex with a less sincere attitude, like the first guy who responded. Some people who lost their virginity only want to marry a sex God, instead of letting their partner improve through experience. In my mind, it doesn’t matter if you are a virgin or not, as long as you don’t objectify the other person. I prefer virgins because they tend not to objectify sex as the main part of a relationship, but there are also nonvirgins who do not objectify sex and I have respect for them as well. You are a virgin. That gives you a more beautiful perspective. Be thankful for your virginity. Don’t marry someone who wants you for your virginity alone. It’s a plus, but there is more to you than that.

  11. 71
    Sky

    Hi all, I’m quite happy that I could accidentally see this page and found that I shared similar issue with Effei. And what bothers me right now is recently I just knew that my bf also prefers virgins. Bcuz I am a virgin I really don’t know if I should be happy or not. Bcuz it might be the plus bonus just like the guy who’s into Effei, my bf chose me maybe for a big part is bcuz I’m also a virgin. This really bothers me bcuz I don’t feel comfortable to be marked as a virgin and then becoming a good product for him to choose! And we actually met online, but we talked for almost a year before we finally decided to meet each other. He’s a sweet and nice guy, and he said that he really liked me before he knew that I’m a virgin. And he also said exactly the same thing that “you have all that I want for a girl”.

    If he was also a virgin, then okay, I can see that maybe it’s your value to stay virgin before marriage. However I know that he had ex gf and they had sex, so now he says he prefers to have virgins as future wife? Excuse me? What makes you think that you deserve to require a virgin while you’re not. That’s actually where bothers me.

    But besides this point, he’s really a sweet, nice, kind guy and also respects me. I just feel something between us. Bcuz I personally think girls who have ex bfs are normal, you never know what will happen. Maybe at that moment you think you will marry him and turns out he’s not the one for you.

  12. 72
    Mira Loran

    I’m in college and still a virgin. Some people, like myself are bound by religious obligations, in my case, I can’t have sexual relations with someone I’m not deeply emotionally involved with. It’s like my mind rejects it and ironically, I don’t attach emotionally to people, like ever. Growing apart from friends is like losing a dollar, I think about for a second and I’m done. So, falling in love is like a once in a millenia event which locks in my virgin status more or less.

    For me, meeting a virgin male indicates one of two things: 1) Something is up or 2) He has alot of self-discipline/waiting for love. Sexual interactions   (kissing, sex, etc) is like chocolate, some people like it and eat it whenever, some people are addicted to it, some only like certain types, and some want to save it for later.

     

  13. 73
    Bia

    It seems like the world in general and the people in particular are so obsessed with sex. While it is a fun activity for most of the people, it doesn’t have to be a quintessential one and that is what i beleive in.

    I beleive that Effe if you are virgin, its the best thing that you have ever preserved and protected in yourself. You see, its not that men don’t love women who are not virgins, its just that something always stays in their mind that they never overcome. While a virgin woman can see and feel the love of a man even in his laughters and his anger and that is the truest thing. Men respect virgins more and more and they value the morals that a woman had possessed all her life.

    Its not that the #4 was supposed to be your #1, its just that he values YOU over everything else. Isn’t that amaxing? I mean what else could a woman ask from a man? All our lives we fantasize about men doing this, doing that, saying this, saying that, bla bla bla and when you have actually found that person, you are confused. Take your time and don’t let go of the true love that he is having for you.

    P.S. DO NOT fall into the trap of test driving. Period!

    1. 73.1
      hunter

      Bia,   I have news for you, the older gentleman is no longer obsessed with   sex…

  14. 74
    Mina

    I think it’s really bad that Evan couldn’t respect the young woman’s personal decision and instead, spends half the time giving a lecture on why her  personal decision isn’t a good one.

    1. 74.1
      AJ

      Was disappointing to read for sure.

  15. 75
    LJ

    Have to weigh in that Evan missed the opportunity to teach about how to have a successful relationship with yourself first, develop healthy boundaries, listen to your intuition and value yourself. Take time to get to know other people. You do not have to focus on one person only before you decide what you would like to do. You do not need to be in a hurry just because a sex crazed society puts pressure on you to conform. Congratulations on your graduating college.

  16. 76
    sheilah Gitonga

    how I wish Kenyan men are like him, here when you are virgin, one is avoided like a plague. I remember i got along with this certain guy, he was handsome, open with me and introduced me to his friends and I gave a thought and gave in since I was single for a very long time. one day we went for a triple date with his friends and he has very good friends, as we were through and we went back and he had to drop me at my place, and my heart smiled since he never asked me to go to his place so I concluded he is a nice guy. when he was driving he started curdling me and he stopped driving… I was in fear, I turned him on, remembering I was a virgin oops, I resisted and told him am virgin, he was shocked and never believed me. and looking at him in the eyes, he was not happy, oops i distrusted his plans and he thought he will have me for the night and we had not even dated for a month, just weeks . so after reaching at his place he called me and asked me if what I told him is the truth, and I told me that I have never dated a student, anyway he asked me why, and what prevents me from doing it, for him it’s strange and hard to understand.
    from that day my dear friends, that guy went mute and the worst part I had considered his closeness .it was a shock that even my text he never answered any more.
    so at times to be a virgin is a challenge and before I recovered from that, I hated my status as a virgin. but it I thank God he never used me and God removed me from that temptation, so at times being a virgin it’s annoying, remembering he promised me a job and many good things, that chance went just like that. but I don’t regret keeping myself for my husband. I will keep it for my future husband.

  17. 77
    rhea

    Effei,

    being a virgin myself i can understand how it feels like when you say a guy ” i am virgin” and on next day he start treating you like a princess out of no where really makes everything fishy. when you ask the reason why i am getting pampered like that of princess he comes up with a excuse or a reason ” your different”. when you ask what makes me different from other girls he says ” because your virgin not those of girls who gets laid with any guy they met and yes your too good than them”.
    And the very first thing that comes to my mind about those kind of guy is that WTF! i am just getting this kind of treatment just because i am a virgin if i weren’t then he would have thought of me as slut. he is not into me as who i am but just because i didn’t share my bed with any guy. well, i would recommend to stay away from such kind of guys and try to avoid answer his very question at firs ” if i am a virgin or not?” the question shouldn’t come at first if he has something for you truly and he wouldn’t care if your a virgin or not. and if that kind of question arises then i would say he just came to have some fun for few moment once he have what he wants then everything goes back to normal like before no special treatment. guys are like greedy wolves so, don’t let those wolves get over you. i think every girl should be treated equally because not everyone is dumb to lose their virginity out of curiosity but there are also girls who loved someone dearly and they gave them everything but those guys couldn’t value her that much or vise versa. Being a virgin doesn’t make everyone proud or exceptional just being a virgin means you couldn’t make yourself comfortable with any guy just because of some insecurities or the fear of losing someone who would become dear to us someday and they won’t treat you the same like they did before.

  18. 78
    Rochelle

    I am a 23 year old virgin and my status found me a hot guy to be my husband. If I slept around I’d feel dirty and would want to die. It’s just that for women it’s different…guys can sleep around. You can have fun and not go all the way stupid girls! What about playing hard to get? n

  19. 79
    tess

    I understand the whole thing about wondering what sex will be like with other people without sexual experience with other partners. However, having that sexual experience, regardless of how it compares with your present partner doesn’t ensure that all that curiosity will suddenly dissipate. Regardless how many people you’ve slept with, I can guarantee that you will encounter people that still strike up that curiosity and intrigue you especially if you’re quite a sexual person. So while waiting until marriage may seem to emphasise that curiosity, having prior sexual experiences doesn’t necessary kill it.

    Honestly, if two people are mature and open about sex, can communicate effectively and remain receptive of criticism and new ways to improve, two people choosing to wait for a commitment or even marriage can navigate sex if they choose to.

    Also, one can be sexual without engaging in actual intercourse. Someone previously mentioned making out and petting; surprisingly, a lot of people with the mindset of waiting are willing to have oral sex outside of marriage so to each their own.

    My main thing is that I disagree with someone attacking people’s choice to abstain. If they are well-informed adults, happy with their choices and they are in fact their choices, it really is their business, and trying to convince   them that they will be faced with doom and gloom is not going to change their mind.

    My main point is to respect people’s choices, find people who do respect and hopefully share your beliefs instead of fetishising them, and navigate life, sex and romance on your own terms, regardless of how popular those terms are.

  20. 80
    Maria Almudena

    I am very impressed and proud of y’all commenters for how well many of you have articulated opposition to Evan’s advice — the part about encouraging this woman to lose her virginity. Evan went right ahead and did that, even if, by his own admission, he just doesn’t understand the whole virginity until marriage thing. This woman never asked Evan whether she should remain a virgin; advice about that was not required.

    The crass test-drive simile cannot be more banal or pedestrian — a symbol of the rampant sexual materialism that dominates our age.

    I am not a religious person, but to me sex for the sake of sex is the dumbest thing there is.   Sex is the most exalted of rituals, a symbol of the reconciliation between the genders that is so needed in the world today, and also an expression of the reintegration of the masculine and feminine parts of our psyche. People trivialize it and debase it at their own peril.

    1. 80.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Sex is only exalted if you exalt it. Please don’t fall into the trap of imposing your values on everyone else who sees it differently. That would be hypocrisy.

      Next, if you’re going to comb thru the site to troll the posts you don’t like, please save yourself the trouble. There are 1400 posts; you have better things to do.

      1. 80.1.1
        hunter

        EMK…Bravo..!

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