Lisa R.

"After reading Evan’s material. I enjoyed my dates and I learned to trust my feelings and instincts more."

I had spent a year and a half wasting my time with a man who would never be a good match for me. Sure, we had a lot in common and he was a wonderful friend, things were very comfortable, on the surface.  After a 21 year (very unhappy) marriage, I thought perhaps friendship was as good a base as any for a relationship.  I was sorely mistaken, and the more time I spent with him the more I cared, but it was not that way for him.  I did go on a few dates during this time because my “friend” would not define our relationship as dating.  That didn’t work, because I just wanted my friend to realize how much he wanted to be with me! After much frustration, I tried just being friends because, as I said he was a really good friend.

About 6 months after I decided to be “just friends”, he was engaged to someone he had dated previously and was still in love with.  I felt so foolish for wasting my time and for being so blind.  I couldn’t understand why someone I had been so good to didn’t return my feelings. I ended the friendship after that.  It was just to hurtful to continue and it was blocking me from finding true happiness.

I did take a 6 month “guyatus”, but being 46 and divorced with a grown child, I was not in a hurry to meet someone.  I wanted to take some time to understand what I wanted, to give myself some time to grow. I did not want to make another bad decision which left me in an unhappy relationship. I wanted to be better at reading signals but more important, I wanted to be more interested in how I felt about a man, rather than obsessing about how he felt about me.

I wasn’t really sure Evan’s writings would apply to me.  So much I read about dating is directed towards younger women looking to get married and start a family.  I am happy to say that Evan’s newsletter was a revelation.  For me, the part that stands out the most is when he writes “you say yes”.  I looked at dating differently after reading Evan’s material.  I enjoyed my dates and I learned to trust my feelings and instincts more. I dropped my ‘I don’t need a man’ guard and learned to let go. I have learned that if you have to analyze how a man feels about you, you’re not in the right relationship.  In the right relationship you feel secure enough that the need to analyze dissolves.

After a few first dates and some dates that led to subsequent dates but not much more, I met a wonderful man on Match. He is, to quote “Fools Rush In”, everything I never knew I always wanted. He is kind and caring, with wonderful values. He makes me feel like the most special woman in the world.  I never have to wonder how he feels about me, I KNOW. We have been dating for 6 months and I have no doubt that this is a wonderful, healthy relationship.

It has been a wonderful 6 months, and learning to let go and just have fun was freeing.  I learned to date without worrying about the outcome, and what a wonderful outcome it is!

Thanks Evan!

Lisa R.