Breaking the Six Deadly Dating Patterns – an interview with Dr. Diana Kirschner

love u podcast

Dr. Diana Kirschner is a psychologist, author and relationship expert whose book Love in 90 Days is one of my favorites. On today’s Love U Podcast, I ask her how you can overcome shyness and enhance confidence without years of therapy. I hold Dr. Diana in the highest esteem, so you do not want to miss this interview!

For more Dr. Diana Kirschner, visit her website. As bestselling love expert, Dr. Diana has handpicked and trained a team of awesome Love Mentor coaches – and you can talk with one of them for 40 minutes by phone or Skype for free! If you have any pressing dating or love questions, sign up for your free session now and you will be talking to a wise helpful Love Mentor very soon! Just say Evan sent me for VIP treatment!


Watch: YouTube

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Join our conversation (15 Comments).
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  1. 1

    Evan, I really enjoyed this podcast, especially the exercise that was suggested to access your “diamond self”. I never   leave comments online, but I felt moved to let you know that my diamond self name was “graceful and loving mommy and new wife”…   similar to you and your diamond self name! I had tears in my eyes with them closed and envisioning the happiest moments too! I am not remarried or even engaged at this time, but I have been with an incredible man I met a year and a half ago, and we are thoroughly   enjoying getting to know each other in a healthy patient way.    Every aspect of our relationship literally gets better with time. We are both certain we have found “the one” for our 2nd marriages, yet are not in any rush to hurry up and get married.   It’s hard to explain in words the level of comfort we have together and with both sets of our children from our first marriages. I’m a huge fan of your work… thank you!

    1. 1.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Thank you. I very much appreciate your kind words. Congrats to you on your relationship.

  2. 2

    The info is good, but where do you find these silly, giggly, goofy guests? I’d rather hear from another man who can talk about their experiences with women than these women whose heads are in the clouds.

    I’m a woman, btw. 🙂

    1. 2.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      What can I say, Nicole? Other dating experts are charmed by my sense of humor. 🙂

      And really, I don’t need another man to give advice to my readers/listeners. That’s kind of my gig already.

    2. 2.2

      I thought she was absolutely adorable. A very sweet and joyful spirit.

  3. 3
    Lisa LaBrie


    Thank you for the podcast and pointing me in the direction of Dr. Kirschner.   I have a question about the free coaching offer. I have just recently left an unhealthy relationship (less than a month out). I’m wondering since I’m still in a grieving state if it better to wait to speak with the coach or if my current state of mind isn’t prohibitive?

    Thank you eternally.

    1. 3.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      I would think that’s something you could take up with your coach. I’ve told people they need more time. I’ve also told people they have to start somewhere, so why not here and now. It all depends on you. Good luck.

  4. 4
    Leslie Deamer

    I agree; Content valuable but a little undercut/undermined by the delivery.

  5. 5
    Carla Danielson

    Well. I think the fact that Evan goes out of his way to bring us free and engaging and informative information should simply be appreciated I know we all have comments And to each their own but the fact the caller took time out of her vacation with her husband to give us of her time and advice is appreciated by me so thanks.

  6. 6

    Thank you Evan I appreciate your compassionate, common sense reality-based approach. Abso resonate with Dr Kirschner as well: smart, fun, delightful and promoter of those certain kinds of standards; qualities of being.   Love. That.   Love being reminded over and over.   Complimentary quality and practices of personal growth –   self-reflection/awareness/responsibility/care   –   curiosity, openness, and humor couldn’t be more important IMH.     I see the cautionary tale clearly in relationships where time unveils the corrosive fallout of   a mis-match here, as such I’m happy to   take the scant odds in the tiny sea of   10 percent, where intelligent  thinking people swim, play, create, and joke around.     It’s   on each person to lighten up step up and reach, which (according to Evan and many others) sadly eliminates 90% of the male population at any given age bracket.      But, when one person is growing and expanding and the other will not for whatever reason;   massive crumbs   Or worse, soggy crumbs.   Or worse, moldy mush.   “We are the CEO of our own life”,   said someone whom I can’t attribute and I apologize to them.    As a deeply non-corporate person I found this phrasing massively illuminating and liberating especially regarding the   crumbs phenom.. When I think of a match, I think of resonating with someone, way more often than not, in the aforementioned zones of life expression and practice.   Evan, I would hazard a   guess that you and the wonderful person you are married to, compliment each other fabulously in all these areas, even if   on the outside it looks like completely different styles?     Apple and Kiwi –   delicious, contrast-y fruit salad.   Kiwi and bottle caps – contrast-y not delicious.    Maybe if you’re   goat.

    1. 6.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Thanks, Fiona. As far as I know, I am the one who tells women they are the “CEO of their own love lives.” Perhaps some life coach/business coach said it in a different context, but if so, I didn’t know about it.

  7. 7

    Brilliant! Dr K is wonderfully wise. I am so glad you had her on here. I remember studying her work when I was becoming a therapist. I really enjoyed that she differentiated that expecting and hoping someone will “change for you,” is not what is meant by her thoughts of being with someone who calls you to be your best self and grow through life. Valuable quality interview!

  8. 8

    That was a delightful interview. Thanks for sharing it.   She giggled a lot and seemed happy.   Or nervous, but whichever it was it was genuine and she sent out a lot of positive energy.   I’m smiling even as I type this.

    I enjoyed watching her take Evan through that session. Very moving and positive.   And there’s a free gift at the end!

    I like these interviews and varying perspectives. I would like to hear more male coaches/experts   (Evan we well know your POV). Sometimes it’s nice to get the warm energy of the female guests too. 🙂

  9. 9

    Hi Evan,

    Thanks very much for the free podcast.   I really enjoy listening to you- your advice is really logical and your delivery is entertaining and fun.   I agree with Diana’s 6 deadly dating patterns.   You asked her how we would go about trying to break our deadly pattern and she really didn’t elaborate.   I am definitely a “Not perfect, I’ll pass”.   I am aware of that, know I’m far from perfect, but am not attracted to any of the guys I have met.   I know it’s ridiculous but the dumb stuff is often a turn off- weird shoes, ill fitting jeans, imperfect manners, a little boring, a little frugal… It sounds silly as I write it but how would I go about breaking this pattern?   Intellectually I know the perfect guy is not out there and if he is he is looking for younger, cuter, smarter…than me 🙂   Help!   Thanks!

  10. 10

    Evan, your “Daddy” moment on this podcast was so very touching. Thank you for sharing that piece of yourself with us.

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