Why Men Should Court Women Again


Chivalry is not dead, but in some circles, it is on life support. While women lament the lack of effort men make in dating, most men are either clueless about chivalry or fighting against it. On this episode, I’m going to give you a compelling argument as to why courtship is good for men and what women can do to encourage better male behavior.

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  1. 41

    WOW! Kudos to you, Evan, for generating such lively discussion between the sexes. I think this is what needs to happen. I really appreciated your most recent podcast that was mostly addressed to men. It would be wonderful if all your podcasts were inclusive, because I think it would help the dialogue, promote understanding, etc. As a woman, I am really sick of being expected to do all of the changing, all of the listening, all of the giving. Hanna Rosin, in her recent book about “The End of Men,” coined the term, “cardboard men, plastic women,” and I think this is absolutely true. Sad, but true. Women are the ones doing the listening because we want things to work.   Evan, you have the power to influence men. Do it! I loved what you said, “Men show very little interest in self-improvement, understanding women, or being told what to do.” This is because our society has enabled men to be this way. Unfortunately, I am divorced because of this. My children were traumatized, scarred for life, and our family was fragmented — from the nucleus all the way to the outer edges of distant cousins who no longer have contact. What a tragedy! and all because men are not asked by society to “try a little kindness.” Think about  something beyond the end of your penis, guys.

    My ex-husband expected me to do all the changing — first, he wanted me to stay at home with the kids; then, when the kids were teens, he told me I had to get a job to pay for the private school he insisted they attend. And, when I did go out to work, he refused to help me with my first job — cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking the kids to school, etc — and this was an impossible demand. When I told him we needed counseling to help us grow in our marriage, he refused to listen ro the female therapists who understood– instead, he found his own male therapist and told him, “FIX MY WIFE!”   This sounds absurd, but it is actually a very typical situation.   I hope you can use your influence to help men understand women and make the world a better, not a worse, place.

  2. 42

    Today on The Irony Report….women want children far more than men do, then complain how much work it is. Details at 9.

    1. 42.1

      Because only women have responsibility for the children, right? Their fathers are exempt from any day to day parental responsibilities?

      What women are complaining about, McLovin, is having to do EVERYTHING themselves.

      Unless one parent stays at home, why should one parent work a full time job and come home and do all the work at home too while the other working parent does little to nothing?

      As far as your little “see…women aren’t rational!” anecdote, it makes about as much sense as men who want a woman who doesn’t work and is dependent and then complains that he has to support her. Or a man who wants to marry the inexperienced good girl and then complains about boring sex (or no sex).

      I guess men aren’t very rational either.

      1. 42.1.1

        Then don’t have children. Most men would be fine with that.

        It’s called ‘owning your *#$&’

        1. SQ

          Owning your s**t you call it?

          Then marry the slut, pay the alimony and STFU.

  3. 43

    i dont think chivalry is dead however its on a sharp decline. Not that i want treating like a princess however i do want treating with respect. i am a woman and like the door opened for me and let me go first if with a man. i would never date a man who didnt do this nor be friends with a woman who wouldnt do it. see i do it for my man or anyone if im there before them, i open doors etc, its just common courtesy. any man who says blah blah feminist movement equality shizzle is a goodbye from me. thats just pure laziness and disrespect. as for paying for things like dates, i think first date the man should pay, i am old fashioned and only 45. after that take in turns if its a gd thing, but just treat each other now and again when they least expect it, as long as its mutual and not taken for granted.

  4. 44

    Evan is great. But one thing is just a little off I think. The man who plans a great date, yes, good, but tells a woman to ‘dress sexy’ ….no. A woman doesn’t want to be commanded to be sexy. Might want to tweek that…..thx.

    1. 44.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      You’d be surprised, Tea. 🙂

  5. 45

    Hi Evan,

    Considering the conversation I’m now having with Jeremy about when to be assertive about your wants with women (even when they say they want the opposite) and when to yield and be accommodating.

    Do you have any insight or advice on this issue?

    Unlike the other male members of the blog I’m not use to “consciously” experiencing the so called shit test (I thought it was a myth). Your brief exchange with Tea is an example of this to me. I agree with your advice in the podcast but I can also see her point.

    Quick story, I once went on a first date with a girl who told me she didn’t want to do what I had pre-planned for our even AFTER she arrived at our meeting place. So I was forced to just found a nearby restaurant and we sat, ate, and talked… A few weeks later she tells me that the first date (because of my poor efforts) was lame, and a bad first date. I was so angry at that statement; especially since she didn’t even consider her part in the reason why the date ended up that way.

    Anyway since you are a good avatar at mediating between the sexies I would love to hear you perhaps address this one day for your few male readers. Where is the line for men between being a selfish and aggressive verses just standing up for and asking women to consider your wants?

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