Choose Your Own Hot Blog Topic – Must-Read Special Edition – Part 1 of 2


My wife and I had a few guests over last night. Over a bottle of wine, we got into a really interesting discussion of changing gender roles, money, evolutionary biology, and societal mores. I know. Very hot.

But that got me to thinking: if you were at my home, what would YOU have contributed to that conversation? Better yet – forget about MY conversation…

I’m not looking for fair and balanced. I want to know what your viewpoint is.

Below, in the comments section, I’d like you to simply choose a TOPIC about which you’re passionate – in regards to dating, relationships and sex.

More specifically, I’d like you to take a SIDE on this topic:

  • Why men should always pay for women on the first date.
  • Why women shouldn’t have sex until they are in a relationship.
  • Why monogamy is the foundation upon which we build our society.

Remember, this is YOUR angle on YOUR topic. I’m not looking for fair and balanced. I want to know what your viewpoint is.  Do not write a paragraph on it. Do not compose a dissertation. I literally just want you to write a one sentence angle on a topic that, if you had a bottle of wine, you could passionately discuss all night.

Next week, I’m going to have a contest based on all of your answers, in which I’d like you all to participate. Winner will get a gift from yours truly, to be determined.

So please, think about your take on a passionate relationship topic and write it in the comments section below.

Talk to you next week,


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  1. 21

    Evan, I think the reason you’re not getting responses that fit your criteria is because you’re using the word “why” in your examples, and in the real responses you want no one would probably be using that word. People could say:
    Drugs should be legalized because _________.
    There is no God and this is totally obvious because _________.
    The Stones kick the Beatles sweet tushies because _________.
    So pick some relationship topic and state your opinion about the topic, and then say “because ___________”
    Men should always pay because ___________.
    Women are more emotionally mature because __________.
    Men have unreasonable expectations about women because ___________.
    There are other ways people could address what you want without using the word because, but it seems like the simplest way: “I believe x because y.”
    What you want is a thesis statement, and believe me, as someone who taught at the college level for 6+ years, its easier than it sounds…

  2. 22

    I want to add on my own topic since I commented on one of the above that Evan posted. My own would be equilibrium in the dynamic of a relationship. The act of being selfless from both people in a relationship could be the key to the success of a very happy and fulfilling relationship practiced by Tibetan Buddhists. =)

  3. 23

    Why men should always pay on the first date:

    Men should always pay on the first date as a gesture of good will and for the pleasure (hopefully) of the woman’s company. It shows an interest on his part. If the woman is paying on the first date, then she will never know if the guy is interested in her or the fact that she picks up the tab.

  4. 24
    Evan Marc Katz

    Thanks, Honey, but I’m actually not looking for the because. The because is the argument itself, which is going to come later. I merely want the assertion.

    Guns should be illegal.
    Abortion is always wrong.
    The Palestinians should have their own homeland.

    Men should not pressure women for sex if they’re going to judge them for it.
    Women should not expect men to pay for dates if she makes a lot more than he does.
    There is only one soulmate for every person.

    State a belief. You don’t have to defend it. Just state something that you believe passionately about dating/relationships/sex. Come on, I don’t want to be the only one participating in this! 🙂

  5. 25

    All your examples are either “is” which implies they are facts and not value judgments, or “shoulds,” which flat-out acknowledges the world does not work that way.

    This doesn’t make as much sense to me as a hypothesis (why things work the way they do), but I look forward to seeing what others have to say.

    And to put things in you format, “People should consider whether traditional relationship models and gender roles are right for them before becoming involved long-term relationships.”

  6. 26
    Anette C

    People should pace their relationships so that the physical intensity matches the emotional intensity,Ie don’t get physical too soon and don’t get deeply emotional too soon. Let the 2 evolve together in tandum.

    Sorry..that’ was 2.5 sentences!!!(I thought you could give me a break on my verbosity since I am female..haha)

  7. 27

    That when you want a long term relationship you shouldn’t have a man of the moment place holder boyfriend, as it doesn’t leave space in your life for the right person to come in.

  8. 28

    Hmmm, another one… that friend’s with benefits never work out. As logically it may seem like a good idea, but the brain chemicals released during sex trigger bonding and no amount of rationalizing can change that.

  9. 29

    I’m with Honey @7 and @25 and Angelika @19. Excellent!!!

    I would also put forth another one: The strong “pro-marriage/-LTR” rhetoric all around us makes it near impossible to have a clear head about dating, mating, relationships and what is right for each of us as individuals.

    [This is my takeaway from what Amy, Curly Girl, etc. have been saying–and note the diatribes this type of “anti pro-marriage” talk incites!!! To be clear: “anti pro-marriage” is NOT “anti-marriage.”]

  10. 30

    Sayanta @13: You get my vote!!! I think you’re great!!!

  11. 31
    Karl R

    Why fear is the biggest obstacle that people face in dating, even if they don’t realize it.

  12. 32

    1. People should not make decisions about relationships from a place of fear or insecurity.

    2. People can compromise and stand up for what they believe in at the same time.

    3. Compromise is the small, daily things – not the big, rare things.

    4. People should date at least five years before getting married.

    5. Having your own biological children is unethical.

    6. People should have at least 20 sexual partners before getting married.

    7. It is inappropriate and irrelevant to ask someone how many sexual partners they have had.

    8. Some people prefer drama, and seek to create it where it does not exist naturally.

    9. It is possible to “just know.”

    10. Relationships require conscious, constant awareness and effort on a daily, permanent basis in order to be successful.

  13. 33

    A number of women want men to have traits that can’t be combined in the same man.

  14. 35

    1. Girlhood dreams of princesses and white horses interfere with women accepting men with whom they can be happy being with.
    2. Teen year dreams of porn stars and eye candy interfere with men accepting women they could be happy with.
    3. Many women expect the men in their lives to fulfill too many roles as opposed to men who just want a lover and confidant.

  15. 36

    Short of advanced genetic engineering, the battle of the sexes will never end.

  16. 37

    Women are not that great at judging the appearance of other women in the way that men would.

  17. 38

    When it comes to relationships and marriage, there shouldn’t be rules or ‘should’s.

  18. 39
    Evan Marc Katz

    Excellent job, Honey. Wondering how you’re going to choose just one. At least others can borrow from you.

  19. 40

    Thanks, Evan – once I understood what you wanted then I thought I’d throw a bunch out there so people could either steal mine (if they want) or at least see what it is you’re looking for so they can make their own.

    I think out of all of them, I prefer my original one (people should consider whether traditional relationship patterns, goals, and gender roles are right for them before becoming involved in LTRs). But I do increasingly think #10 on my larger list is very important…

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