Choose Your Own Hot Blog Topic – Must-Read Special Edition – Part 1 of 2


My wife and I had a few guests over last night. Over a bottle of wine, we got into a really interesting discussion of changing gender roles, money, evolutionary biology, and societal mores. I know. Very hot.

But that got me to thinking: if you were at my home, what would YOU have contributed to that conversation? Better yet – forget about MY conversation…

I’m not looking for fair and balanced. I want to know what your viewpoint is.

Below, in the comments section, I’d like you to simply choose a TOPIC about which you’re passionate – in regards to dating, relationships and sex.

More specifically, I’d like you to take a SIDE on this topic:

  • Why men should always pay for women on the first date.
  • Why women shouldn’t have sex until they are in a relationship.
  • Why monogamy is the foundation upon which we build our society.

Remember, this is YOUR angle on YOUR topic. I’m not looking for fair and balanced. I want to know what your viewpoint is.  Do not write a paragraph on it. Do not compose a dissertation. I literally just want you to write a one sentence angle on a topic that, if you had a bottle of wine, you could passionately discuss all night.

Next week, I’m going to have a contest based on all of your answers, in which I’d like you all to participate. Winner will get a gift from yours truly, to be determined.

So please, think about your take on a passionate relationship topic and write it in the comments section below.

Talk to you next week,


Join our conversation (103 Comments).
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  1. 41

    thanks janet!

  2. 42

    Honey @32: You crack me up!! Esp #5. Now THAT would be an interesting conversation!!! 🙂

  3. 43
    Evan Marc Katz

    Just decided. Winner gets his/her choice of Finding the One Online CD series or a 50-minute recorded coaching call.

    If you haven’t put in your entry by next Tuesday, you don’t have a chance of winning. I think you’re going to enjoy the contest a lot.


  4. 44

    @ Janet – thanks! Re: #5, I have LOTS of reasons that nobody is interested in hearing because, ultimately we do not make these types of decisions based on logic, but on what we want, even if it’s selfish and even harmful.

    Hey, there’s another one: People should attempt to recognize the role that logic can and should play in matters of the heart.

    And: People’s relationship standards are often selfish and even harmful, both for themselves and their [potential] partner(s).

    And: People should take the world for what it actually is, not for what they wish it would be. (though, to be fair, Gorgias came up with that one when he wrote the Encomium to Helen)

    And: People often do not make decisions based on what is in their own best/self-interest.

    And: Happiness is a decision you make, not something you wait to happen to you.

  5. 45

    People are inherently selfish when it comes to dating and relationships.

  6. 46

    The women’s movement primarily benefited men and primarily hurt our children.

  7. 47

    Here’s my two cents. I am sometimes amazed by the bad behavior that women will put up with by their boyfriends/significant others (i.e. cheating, etc). My thoughts are that if their close female friends treated them in the same manner they would not spend as much time examining the “whys” of the situation or trying to justify the behavior because they would have dropped the friendship.

  8. 48

    There is no such thing as forever. “Happily ever after” is an illusion. How ’bout that for a topic?

  9. 50

    MsQuoted- awesome name!

  10. 51

    1.- Marrying a foreign citizen you met over the internet and moving to his country and getting married, almost never works out.
    2.- There should be dating coaches in every country (mine included, Venezuela).
    3.- Not all dating advice applies exactly the same in all countries, as there are cultural differences.
    4.- Overseas relationships rarely work out.
    5.- Getting married is easy, the difficult thing is to get divorced especially if both parties live in different countries.
    6.- Evan’s work and webpage should be translated into other languages, especially Spanish, as this widespread knowledge would prevent many mistakes.
    7.- “Dating and Relationships” should be a subject in college, as people have better dating options when younger than when older and better choices when you’re younger help people have a better quality of life later on.
    8.- Psychiatrists (myself included) should study “Dating and Relationships” as it can be of great help to patients.

  11. 52

    1. Many people marry not because they are truly committed to their partner, but because they are conventional.
    2. No one should marry before the age of 24.

  12. 53

    I don’t feel strongly about this topic, but I could merrily debate it over a bottle of wine with friends. (Or a virtual bottle of wine with cyber-friends 🙂 ) So I will rephrase my #12 per Evan’s guidelines.

    Legal marriage should be abolished in the USA.

    It was based on the religious precepts of the founders of this country. The succeeding several hundred years has produced greater religious, cultural and social diversity, so that the institution no longer “fits” as a model for the general populace. The high divorce rate, people living together without being married, the large percentage of citizens born out of wedlock, and homosexual unions have made legal marriage obsolete. It’s time the government got out of the business of legislating relationships.

    If legal marriage is abolished, it will have significant social impact. Discuss the positives and negatives of such a policy.

  13. 54


    Have you had bad luck with overseas relationships? 😉

  14. 55

    You can miss out on the love of your life if the timing is bad.

  15. 56

    Here’s one about sex:

    The general ignorance about female sexual response (what arouses women, what causes them to orgasm, where things are, what things are called, how long it takes, etc.)–and the propensity for both men and women (but primarily men) to use the male sexual response as the template for the female sexual response–is the underlying cause of all relationship problems between men and women.

    (Note: Women don’t tell men the truth about sex, either.)

  16. 57

    A successful marriage is built upon commitment and endurance.

  17. 58

    How partners treat each other is based mostly on visual cues.

  18. 59

    To Sayanta post 53,

    YES. I am from Venezuela and moved to your country in 2004 to marry a US citizen. He abused me and I left him. He still refuses to divorce from me, and I cannot obtain a divorce in the US because I don’t live there and of course never went back.

    Which takes me to my next belief, Marriage should have an expiration date and if both parties agree to continue, then they should have to renew it. If at least one party disagrees, then divorce should be automatic. Say, an expiration date could be every 5 years.

  19. 60

    Selena @53 and Jessica @59: Love your topics!!!

    I’ve done this before on this site and I’ll do it again–I urge you all to read Stephanie Coontz’s very thoroughly researched book, “Marriage: A History.” What an eye-opener, especially for anyone who believes that the underpinnings of marriage in our culture are love, romance, and exclusive sexual connection.

    Very sorry for what you’ve had to go through, Jessica. I hope you find a way out of the legal mess, and I’m glad that you are no longer with that [expletive deleted].

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