Choose Your Own Hot Blog Topic – Must-Read Special Edition – Part 1 of 2

My wife and I had a few guests over last night. Over a bottle of wine, we got into a really interesting discussion of changing gender roles, money, evolutionary biology, and societal mores. I know. Very hot.

But that got me to thinking: if you were at my home, what would YOU have contributed to that conversation? Better yet – forget about MY conversation…

I’m not looking for fair and balanced. I want to know what your viewpoint is.

Below, in the comments section, I’d like you to simply choose a TOPIC about which you’re passionate – in regards to dating, relationships and sex.

More specifically, I’d like you to take a SIDE on this topic:

  • Why men should always pay for women on the first date.
  • Why women shouldn’t have sex until they are in a relationship.
  • Why monogamy is the foundation upon which we build our society.

Remember, this is YOUR angle on YOUR topic. I’m not looking for fair and balanced. I want to know what your viewpoint is. Do not write a paragraph on it. Do not compose a dissertation. I literally just want you to write a one sentence angle on a topic that, if you had a bottle of wine, you could passionately discuss all night.

Next week, I’m going to have a contest based on all of your answers, in which I’d like you all to participate. Winner will get a gift from yours truly, to be determined.

So please, think about your take on a passionate relationship topic and write it in the comments section below.

Talk to you next week,


Join our conversation (103 Comments).
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  1. 91

    Here is my controversial question and opinion, Evan and others:

    Is it ever OK for a married person to have sex with someone outside the marriage; say, if one’s spouse is not fulfilling his/her needs?

    My opinion is that humans are not meant to be monogamous, just as we are now discovering that even other mammals that were previously believed to be monogamous really are not. So the main reason why married couples should not stray is because of concerns regarding STIs. If there were a way we could completely safeguard against STIs, it would be fine to have sex with others outside the marriage, as long as one still treated one’s spouse lovingly and respectfully.

    Well, Evan, you said you wanted controversy. 🙂

  2. 92

    And there we have what truly needs defining: what sex means to us and when to have it. If I am dating someone and their whole purpose in dating me is to have sex, well then they shouldn’t be dating me. To me, it is a bonding experience, there has to be an emotional connection and to find out later it was just sex to him is not a pleasant feeling.

  3. 93

    I agree with a lot of posters, I’m not putting ‘hard’ on the same level with ‘taking effort’.
    When I say rships shouldn’t be hard, I mean in that gut-wrenching, who knows what drama is gonna happen today, hey everybody said this would totally suck sometimes, right?, soul-sucking, is that all there is?, sort of way.

  4. 94

    This made me think –

    We should not judge our partners’ level of devotion using a standard that is based on the type of affection/attention that is easy for us.

  5. 95

    This one is easy. Would love to get your 600 word opinion on the Tiger Woods relationship fiasco.

  6. 96

    I’ve had friends in long marriages and relationships go through very difficult periods: an affair, major depression, lack of desire. They had to work pretty hard to get through these rough patches, but they managed it and the relationships have weathered these crises. Of course, it doesn’t always work out that way, but these were strong relationships.

  7. 97

    94: Doesn’t take 600 words! Tiger is toast!

  8. 98

    94: Incredible golfer tho. Amazing golfer.

  9. 99

    Well Honey, the small things I do every day are not hard work. They come with being compassionate and treating others, especially my partner, the way I want to be treated. And to me, that takes no work at all.

  10. 100

    I agree with Ruby that there are times relationships take hard work. But it shouldn’t be hard work all the time. There are some relationships where the easy part only happens once in awhile whereas the hard stuff if the status quo. I think the majority would say that it should be easy most of the time, though inevitably there will be rough patches, but that the rough patches should be far outnumbered by the good ones.

  11. 101

    @SAS, #98 – just because it is not work for you does not mean it’s not really hard for some people. And just because it’s hard for some people doesn’t make them bad people.

    Obviously those things are not “work” for the kind of people who end up on Evan’s board. However, many of us are not going to end up with someone like that. That’s all I’m saying.

  12. 102

    our generations almost unlimited access to choices and information ends up creating a lot of people who are “better dealing” their way through the dating world.

  13. 103

    Absolute honesty would suck (there’s a reason I’m not even going to ask if my butt looks big in this), but dating and everything that comes after would go better if we were all more honest with our partners and ourselves.

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