Author Tim Kreider wrote an opinion piece in the New York Times a couple of years ago. While it’s not the latest ground-breaking dating news, it’s worth a look if you’re making tough decisions about your dating life or relationship.
As the author sees it, “the Referendum is a phenomenon typical of (but not limited to) midlife, whereby people, increasingly aware of the finiteness of their time in the world, the limitations placed on them by their choices so far, and the narrowing options remaining to them, start judging their peers’ differing choices with reactions ranging from envy to contempt. The Referendum can subtly poison formerly close and uncomplicated relationships, creating tensions between the married and the single, the childless and parents, careerists and the stay-at-home. It’s exacerbated by the far greater diversity of options available to us now than a few decades ago, when everyone had to follow the same drill. We’re all anxiously sizing up how everyone else’s decisions have worked out to reassure ourselves that our own are vindicated – that we are, in some sense, winning.”
The author — 42 and never married — looks at his married friends’ lives of kids and houses and soccer games with wistfulness, meanwhile notes that the “obscene wealth of free time at my command must’ve seemed unimaginably exotic to them, since their next thousand Saturdays are already booked.”
Read the article here. Do you ever spend any time looking at others’ lives with either envy or scorn? I’ll admit that I do – but a lot less now that I’m established in my career and in a happy relationship.
Look forward to hearing your thoughts below…