Happy New Year From Evan Marc Katz!

I’m in New York City, taking a break from the calm and warmth of Los Angeles to show my girlfriend my beloved and frigid hometown. We’re going to be seeing some close friends and family members, as well as doing all of the touristy things that make the city so special at this time of year. Will be back with a new blog on Thursday.

In the meantime, I just wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what my process is over here.

As you probably know, I’m a dating coach. I make my living working one on one with private clients who are serious about finding love. I look forward to continuing my practice in 2008. I write this blog for fun, to address reader questions, and to hone my own critical thinking on these subjects.

If you’ve ever written to me and not received a reply, please know that I have hundreds of email questions in a folder at home, the majority of which I either have tackled in a previous posting, or which aren’t unique and brief enough for the blog. If you want guidelines for how to get a question answered, I would recommend seeing if I’ve already tackled it before:

Start by reading these. These are my most important posts. They outline some core dating issues and cover some of the most common concepts I use in my dating coaching.

So even if the details are a little different, chances are, I’ve touched on your issue. And I’d hate for you to write me a long question and feel like I’m ignoring you. I’m not. I’m trying to keep things interesting for the thousands of other readers.

Finally, as we close out 2007, I want to thank you sincerely for reading this blog.

I love hearing your questions, I love being challenged for answers, and I love getting your honest commentary on each posting.

I eagerly await my return to Los Angeles, so I can resume our regular schedule.

And if you want to makes sure you don’t miss a single answer — especially if you asked me a question and don’t know when I’m answering — I’d highly recommend signing up for my free blog email service here:

And, of course, my free monthly newsletter here:

‘Til then…have a very happy and healthy New Year.

Much love,



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  1. 1
    Ramon Thomas

    Happy New Year Evan. I need to get my dating coach practice back on track this year. Last year I had two awesome relationships. Decided to end both before December. Anyway I’m still working on a plan to bring you to South Africa. As soon as I have something concrete I’ll be in touch.

    Oh BTW, hope you’re having a rockin’ time in NYC. Just watch Will Smith in “I am Legend” and I keep wondering why does all the major catastrophes happen there and not elsewhere in North America or the rest of the world like maybe London or Tokoy 😉

  2. 2

    Happy New Year Evan. I haven’t been to NY much but the last time I was there I couldn’t wait to leave. The MOMA was nice as was dinner but I was on an array of subway trains and crowded sidewalks and almost no idea where I was. Note, I’m in Philly a lot so it’s not like I’m a country bumpkin. All that said, you couldn’t pay me to live in LA.

    Seriously, thanks for all the help you give us freaks.

  3. 3
    hush, child

    Markus – No one has to love L.A., but why go out of your way to be negative about it?

    Now, I’ve spent hours out of my life defending the city of Los Angeles. I’m used to it. After years of having to justify to my friends in the Bay Area why I moved back down here, and after having been on the receiving end of enough strangers saying “Oh, I’m sorry” with a snide little wink after I tell them I’m from L.A., I’ve become accustomed to this bizarre one-sided competition that I wasn’t even aware I’d entered.
    After awhile, you just get sick of having to justify your choice to live wherever you damn please and have to seriously question the incentive of someone who’s out to convince you that you should actually be miserable living where you do. I’ve become one of the most vocal pro-Angelenos I know, mainly because I find it inexplicable that so much energy can be put towards hating a city that most “haters” only know by reputation or brief visits to Disneyland.

    I think the film, L.A. Story, said it best when the character of Sara says into her tape recorder:
    “[People] think L.A. is a place for the brain-dead…if you turned off the sprinklers, it would turn into a desert. But…it’s not what I expected. It’s a place where they’ve taken a desert and turned it into their dreams. I’ve seen a lot of L.A. and I think it’s also a place of secrets: secret houses, secret lives, secret pleasures. And no one is looking to the outside for verification that what they’re doing is all right.”

    The inherently exhibitionistic entertainment industry aside, this is the City of Angels that I know. Los Angeles culturally values privacy more than anywhere else I can think of. Here, privacy is traded as a commodity, where people will pay a premium for tinted windows, the private box at a performance, the corner table behind the potted palm, or one of those vast lone properties way atop a canyon. All in the name of being left alone to do what they want, when they want, and devil may care what others may think.

    The way I look at it , folks from cities like NY or SF where there’s a strong collective resentment towards L.A. only PERCEIVE there to be a contest going on between their city and Los Angeles, whereas Angelenos simply don’t give enough of a shit to compete. And I think it’s this indifference that even further infuriates the New Yorker or San Franciscan (or Philadelphian) who wants to hate Los Angeles. “Why DON’T you care about what I think about you?”, he’ll demand, threatening to list self-absorption amongst your character flaws. Ask your average Angeleno and he’ll shrug that he likes those other cities just fine.

    Admittedly it’s a generally materialistic place to call home, but what major city doesn’t have its areas of affluent snobbery? L.A. does have its share of narcissists primarily on account of the entertainment industry. (I will say in the showbiz’s defense, that if people truly understood the logistics behind and skill set required to put something as vapid as an episode of Gossip Girl on the air, they’d never consider it a “brain-dead” industry again.) And then there’s also a windfall of natural beauty, quirkiness and adventure to be unearthed if you sit still long enough to take a good long look at this town. L.A. has the kind of energy that would produce music from the likes of Ice Cube, Van Halen, The Doors, Jane’s Addiction and Red Hot Chili Peppers. Los Angeles is also the birthplace of the guerilla drive-in theater, the hula hoop,the convertible, the DC-3, the Fender stratocaster, the chaise lounge and the Space Shuttle. Some debate that it’s the birthplace of the Internet with moderate success. I know where you can locate a Thai Elvis impersonator, a Filipino one, AND a black one.

    Angelenos almost singlehandedly sustain National Public Radio for the rest of the country with their financial contributions. The main branch of the Los Angeles County Public Library system is the third largest public library in the country. Between 1923 and 2001, 20 Nobel Prize winners came from Los Angeles institutions (Cal Tech, UCLA, USC), including Linus Pauling and Richard Feynman. The Los Angeles Times received 27 Pulitzer Prizes between 1942 and 2001. The Los Angeles County coastline, stretching from Malibu to Long Beach, is 81 miles long, and you can still reach the mountains in under 1.5 hours from any sandy beach. Griffith Park is the largest municipal park and urban wilderness area in the United States.

    Finally, here in L.A., I, personally, am fortunate to have the kind of friends – numbering in what must be counted on two hands – that most people would be lucky to meet just ONE of in their lifetime.

    Say what you will; Los Angeles is not perfect; and I make no claim of its dominance over other cities, but it’s what I know as home and it’s not my problem if you’re just not that into it. So, for all you L.A.-haters out there, take the time out of your meaningful lives to worry about these facts: San Diego drains more water from the Colorado than Los Angeles does, the greater Las Vegas area is the real embodiment of unchecked expansion/energy consumption today, the agri-biz-centric Central CA Valley has more air pollution, highway I-880 up north more traffic congestion, while Miami reigns supreme as the violent crime capitol of our nation.

    So go have a nervous breakdown about your own transportation infrastructures and local schmoozers. I’ll be outside working on my tan. 😉

    (Happy New Year, all, and may you each get what your heart truly desires!)

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