Maria’s Coaching Journey with Evan Marc Katz – Week 3

This is week 3 of Maria’s coaching journey with me. She is the recipient of a full scholarship with me, worth $7775, and she is embracing every moment. It’s fun working with clients as enthusiastic as Maria, and I think you’ll be able to see why.

In my video last week I told you about my profile and how much I liked it. Reading about who I am, what I bring as a partner, and who I want as a partner brought a warm feeling in my heart and my eyes filled with tears. The truth is that most of us don’t really take the time to look inside and ask specific questions about our love life. I’m glad I did.

This week’s coaching call with Evan was supposed to be about polishing up the profile and launching it. Although we came up with an awesome username and headline (I’ll share it at the end), Evan told me I wasn’t ready to go onto the dating site just yet. Why not? Well, I surprised Evan by informing him I was planning on moving back to Puerto Rico to be near my aging mother. From there, the call took an entirely different turn.

Evan challenged me and told me that maybe I wasn’t ready for coaching. He explained that if I was committed to finding love, it’s not good to be in transition. He said that long distance relationships are hard to pull off. On the other hand, what if I end up meeting somebody in Florida? It wouldn’t be fair for any man that is looking for a committed relationship, to meet me and then six months later tell him “Adiós, I’m moving away.”

Things don’t have to be perfectly aligned, I just have to be ready and I am as ready as I’ll ever be. Done!

So on the spot, I had to decide if I could still work with Evan or if I was committed to moving back to Puerto Rico. Decisions, decisions…. Lots of silence on the phone….My thoughts: “Well, if I meet someone in PR, I’ll move… after all, I moved to Chicago when I met my EX-husband….and wouldn’t a man do that for me?”

Reality sinks in. I’m usually the one telling other people not do do the long distance thing. Evan is right and I know better. At this time in my life I will not uproot myself without getting to REALLY know somebody. I also know that it wouldn’t be easy to “make it work” if we live in different cities. What do I want?….Ugh…. Then, Evan reminds me that I can’t expect somebody to move away to Puerto Rico if he has a life in Florida either…. a business, a job, children, etc.

If I want love, I have to choose love. I think about when parents plan too much to have children… It’s never a good time if you try to make everything perfect. Same thing with finding a partner. Things don’t have to be perfectly aligned, I just have to be ready and I am as ready as I’ll ever be. Done! I’m staying in Miami! Why? Number one, I really love it here. Number two, I believe that my beloved will support my dreams and if I want to visit my mom in Puerto Rico, it’ll be okay.

Now that I’ve decided where I’m going to live, we can work on my username and subject for the dating site. The previous week I’ve worked with Evan’s technique of coming up with words related to my passions from his program “Finding the One Online”. We took my passion for dancing and used the word shoes and came up with “ShoesWisely”. Headline: “You can never be too careful when “shoosing” a dancing partner.” Love it! 😉

Thank you for following my journey and I hope it helps you with yours. Feel free to ask any questions or write a comment. Until next week…

Yours truly,
Maria

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Comments:

  1. 1
    Debbie

    Oh my gosh what a perfect user name and headline! Here’s hoping you get quality emails from men vs. the one liners (or even one word emails!!).

    1. 1.1
      Maria

      Thank You for the comment, Debbie. I did receive a great email, complementing my profile. Very smart guy, he made it easy for me to correspond (we’re even going on our first date tomorrow!) I still receive one liners and that was one of my questions on today’s coaching call with Evan. He told me that one liners doesn’t mean not relationship material, bad guy and that there is a huge advantage about guys that winks at you or send you a one liner… “You have 40% more chances of them answering your emails” You just have to lead the way to interesting emails and follow the two,two, two rule.

      1. 1.1.1
        Debbie

        That’s wonderful you have a date lined up! I hope you have lots of fun. I will take Evan’s advice about one liners to heart. What is the two, two, two rule?

  2. 2
    Christine

    Well, I am really burned out on dating, but your journey has inspired me to get back up and try it again! The profile last week and the username has given me ideas for improving my own profile. I’m glad your profile has resulted in a great email (sounds much better than the “ur so cute” ones I usually get haha–but I’m encouraged to be getting better emails again too. And hey, while I wish for more than a one-liner, it’s hard to object too much to being called cute).

    I think that quote is very true, to not let perfection be the enemy of the good. I especially like what you said about how things don’t have to be “perfectly” aligned. Life throws a lot of surprises and it will never be perfect. If we wait for perfection, we’ll never even get started! I obviously don’t know you but from what you’ve presented, you seem like a very positive person and I’m confident you’ll find a great guy. I’ll be curious how your first date goes! (but trying not to be nosy either–not sure just how much you’ll be comfortable sharing but I’ll be interested to see how this whole thing goes for you)

  3. 3
    Sami

    Wow!

    I applaud the fact that you chose YOU and love. I grew up in a very traditional Asian Catholic family that would’ve shamed me had I stayed to find a mate instead of being close to family.

    At 27, I’m constantly learning the importance of boundaries and putting myself first.

    I am very humbled to be a part of your journey! 🙂

    1. 3.1
      Maria

      Thank You for your lovely comment and for following my journey…. Puerto Rico is only 2 1/2 hours away from Fort Lauderdale, so I go and visit often..Family is very important to me also. Like I said in the video whoever I end up in a relationship with will understand and maybe join me when I go visit 🙂

  4. 4
    Maria

    Thank you for your generous words and I’m happy that you’re inspired to date again!
    I guess the time has come for me to stop guarding my heart and enjoy going out and date.
    I keep thinking of a quote: ” It’s better to have love an lost than never to have lost again.” Love is about opening our hearts and experience our vulnerability.
    Read the post above on one liners, follow Evan’s advice and good luck on your journey 🙂
    Maria

  5. 5
    TorontoJane

    It’s wonderful to be continuing to hear your journey, Maria. I know this must been a tough decision for you, but with Evan’s guidance and support, I am pleased to hear that you have chosen love. I know you will be getting some wonderful responses to your profile and your terrific username.

    All the best,
    Jane

  6. 6
    Tatiayna

    Almost $8000, seems rather steep. What exactly do your clients get for that?

    1. 6.1
      cindyp

      Click on link for full description:

  7. 7
    Gabri'el

    I just watched this episode of a youtube news show that I’m a fan of and the findings of the study immediately made me think of what Evan is always saying about user name and headline, both are very important in setting up first impressions. I honestly always thought that people just glance at both but really only focus on the picture, but according to the show… I was wrong.
     
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8voDuXiHA9s

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