In my video last week I told you about my profile and how much I liked it. Reading about who I am, what I bring as a partner, and who I want as a partner brought a warm feeling in my heart and my eyes filled with tears. The truth is that most of us don’t really take the time to look inside and ask specific questions about our love life. I’m glad I did.
This week’s coaching call with Evan was supposed to be about polishing up the profile and launching it. Although we came up with an awesome username and headline (I’ll share it at the end), Evan told me I wasn’t ready to go onto the dating site just yet. Why not? Well, I surprised Evan by informing him I was planning on moving back to Puerto Rico to be near my aging mother. From there, the call took an entirely different turn.
Evan challenged me and told me that maybe I wasn’t ready for coaching. He explained that if I was committed to finding love, it’s not good to be in transition. He said that long distance relationships are hard to pull off. On the other hand, what if I end up meeting somebody in Florida? It wouldn’t be fair for any man that is looking for a committed relationship, to meet me and then six months later tell him “AdiÃ³s, I’m moving away.”
Things don’t have to be perfectly aligned, I just have to be ready and I am as ready as I’ll ever be. Done!
So on the spot, I had to decide if I could still work with Evan or if I was committed to moving back to Puerto Rico. Decisions, decisions…. Lots of silence on the phone….My thoughts: “Well, if I meet someone in PR, I’ll move… after all, I moved to Chicago when I met my EX-husband….and wouldn’t a man do that for me?”
Reality sinks in. I’m usually the one telling other people not do do the long distance thing. Evan is right and I know better. At this time in my life I will not uproot myself without getting to REALLY know somebody. I also know that it wouldn’t be easy to “make it work” if we live in different cities. What do I want?….Ugh…. Then, Evan reminds me that I can’t expect somebody to move away to Puerto Rico if he has a life in Florida either…. a business, a job, children, etc.
If I want love, I have to choose love. I think about when parents plan too much to have children… It’s never a good time if you try to make everything perfect. Same thing with finding a partner. Things don’t have to be perfectly aligned, I just have to be ready and I am as ready as I’ll ever be. Done! I’m staying in Miami! Why? Number one, I really love it here. Number two, I believe that my beloved will support my dreams and if I want to visit my mom in Puerto Rico, it’ll be okay.
Now that I’ve decided where I’m going to live, we can work on my username and subject for the dating site. The previous week I’ve worked with Evan’s technique of coming up with words related to my passions from his program “Finding the One Online”. We took my passion for dancing and used the word shoes and came up with “ShoesWisely”. Headline: “You can never be too careful when “shoosing” a dancing partner.” Love it! 😉
Thank you for following my journey and I hope it helps you with yours. Feel free to ask any questions or write a comment. Until next week…