Maria’s Coaching Journey with Evan Marc Katz – Week 5

Since winning the Scholarship, I’ve talked to Evan every Friday, I’ve listened to Finding the One Online (twice!) and I’m currently reading Believe in Love. I have fabulous photos taken by a photographer in Miami and collaborated with Evan on writing my awesome profile.

Like anything new, online dating can be intimidating. I’ve gone from happy, to scared, to doubtful, to hopeful, all the way to confident. I can’t say enough about the importance of following the guidance of a dating expert – in this case, Evan. Staying connected to the information and the coaching calls helps me keep my confidence and positive attitude.

At the end of this post, I’ll tell you about my first date. 🙂 But first I’ll share a couple of Aha moments from my last coaching call that I’m sure will help you in your journey.

When choosing your favorites on a dating site, instead of just tagging the 40 cutest guys on the site, it’s important to read the entire profile. Make sure that he meets my distance requirements, that he’s looking to date a woman my age, and look for hints of authenticity, self-awareness, sincerity, and whether he’s looking for a relationship.

During my last call, I also asked Evan if I should ignore the winks and one liners. What he told me totally changed my perception about the whole thing! When a guy sends you a wink or a one liner doesn’t mean he’s lazy; it means he’s bad at online dating! Furthermore, it means that he likes you…he’s seen your picture and PROBABLY has read your profile. Writing to someone that’s already expressed an interest gives you a 40% greater chance of him replying back to your email.

Now, the strategy to a good email dialogue is to elevate the other person. If you want more substance, you have to give more substance. If you wink or send a one liner back in response, you may not get a thoughtful email back. Instead, send a warm and funny email and ask open-ended questions. This allows the other person to have something to say or respond to. There are different techniques on how to write a good email in Finding the One Online. Instead of trying to re-invent the wheel, I just follow the instructions of the wheel maker. 🙂 The more I learn, the better I feel about the process.

Okay, about my first date last Saturday. Although he looked like his pictures, there was no chemistry. In fact, I thought it would be uncomfortable to spend the rest of the afternoon with him…I even thought “how about if I get in my car and leave!” Then I reminded myself that dating is about enjoying the company of another person. Like Evan says, you don’t have to kiss him, have sex with him or marry him! At the end of the date, I realized I’d had a great time. He was a good conversationalist and a gentleman.

When I returned home from my date, I checked my Match inbox and had a message from a man that I’d added to my favorites that morning. Next week I’ll tell you about something he wrote that you’re not going to believe! (Nothing bad, just funny.)

Once again, thank you for your comments and for following my story. May my journey help you with yours…and remember to always keep your heart open to give and receive love.

Until next week,

Maria

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Comments:

  1. 1
    Debbie

    Maria, I look forward to every Friday just to read your updates! I’m happy that you turned a non chemistry date into a fun afternoon. I’ve been listening to a series of matchmaker calls where they all stress that while on a date, even if there’s no chemistry, try your best to make the person feel good around you. Sounds like you did just that! Kudos to you!

    1. 1.1
      Maria

      I guess is a little counterintuitive for most of us to enjoy the moment even if there’s no chemistry…..
      Thank You for the Kudos and for following my journey. 🙂

  2. 2
    Margaret

    Hi Maria, it’s so good to get your perspective and I am learning from you – and picking up more tips and suggestions. You seem so nice and I can see why Evan chose you. Good luck!

  3. 3
    MAXINE

    Hello Maria:

    I can see Evan’s magic working already for you. You look much more poised and very beautiful in this video. You sound very confident and are wisely listening to all of Evan’s fantastic ideas. I know that you will soon find the partner you are seeking. By the way, thank you for all the wonderful hints. Due to Evan’s prodding, I have joined Match. All his ideas are really working. Just came back from a date that was followed up by a phone call from him. Keeping my fingers crossed. Good Luck Maria!!! Oh! Love your beautiful dress!

  4. 4
    Tatiayna

    Maria. Love your updates,. You look gorgeous in this video.. I’m on match too. I wish you success in your search.

  5. 5
    Henriette

    Maria, I love that you relaxed into the date and allowed yourself to enjoy it, even though the guy wasn’t a love match. We’ll all spend many hours of our lives on dates with people we don’t end up wanting to be with; we can choose to suffer through each experience or find a way to derive some pleasure.

    My late mother used to say that everyone has at least one interesting story to tell and one lesson to teach us. When on uninspiring dates, I’ve tried to keep this in mind and usually ended up having ~ and, I hope, providing ~ a positive experience.

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

  6. 6
    S.

    I randomly came upon one of your old posts and hope you have found love, Maria!

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