I believe my coaching journey with Evan has been about much more than just me meeting someone, so today I’ll be sharing how I’ve learned to know and understand myself better and the process of online dating.
11 weeks into my coaching, I am so much more confident than when I started. I have a clear understanding of what I want and don’t want. I now recognize how different my behavior and emotions are with the guys I like compared to those I don’t like (as much). It’s amazing to me to see how much my behavior changes based on chemistry or lack of chemistry.
I’m also learning to trust my instincts and make better choices. Remember I said there was something weird about the Italian guy from California, and that Evan had advised me to fire the guy since the beginning? Well, he turned out to be a scammer. Last week, he asked me for money. I believe there were two reasons why I kept the communication open with him. One, I was absolutely drawn in with his sweet little messages and songs in the beginning and a part of me wanted him to be real. And two, since I’m documenting my entire journey, I wanted to follow through to the end so I could validate my suspicions and share it with you. I’m hopeful that my experience will prevent other vulnerable women from falling into the same trap.
What’s more important is to keep moving forward, do the work and actively communicate, and don’t waste time with the men that are weird, lazy or not moving forward.
Evan had said that scammers usually target women over 50. Mature woman have less men contacting them than younger women and it makes them an easier target. Younger women have fuller inboxes making it more difficult for a scam artist to connect with them.
Another thing that I’m learning is to not take things personally. It’s not easy, but with online dating it’s very important to understand that whatever happens has nothing to do with me. As Evan reminded me, “just because someone asked you for money or you were contacted by a loser, is no reason to stop dating.”
And last, I now realize that when I’m focused on one or two guys, my attention towards other men diminishes…but this seems to be a normal behavior. What’s more important is to keep moving forward, do the work and actively communicate, and don’t waste time with the men that are weird, lazy or not moving forward.
As always, thank you for your support and remember to keep your heart open to give and receive love.
Until next week,