Maria’s Coaching Journey with Evan Marc Katz – Week 12

First Dates


I’m happy to report that things are progressing nicely. I went on two dates last weekend with two wonderful and very different men, and I had so much fun.

I followed Evan’s advice on what to do and what not to do on a first date. He says if I do everything right, I’ll be asked for a second date every time and sure enough, they both asked!

Evan explained that there usually are two types of people that go on dates. There’s the insecure man who talks a lot and tries too hard to impress you…”I hope she likes me…please, please, PLEASE like me.” This man’s hidden agenda is to impress you enough to get a second date. Unfortunately, these guys usually don’t get another chance.

Then there’s the confident guy that trusts himself and his hidden agenda – which is to get laid. He’s not interested in you, just sex. If he pushes too hard though, it won’t go well either. The insecure woman is pretty much like the insecure man. She’ll try too hard and her actions also scream …..”please, please, PLEASE like me”.

When you go on a date, it’s all about being comfortable with each other. A good date gives you what YOU want.

On the flip side, the confident woman trusts herself and  only wants to figure out if the man is relationship material –  in a 90-minute date! She turns into an interrogator…”So, where do you see yourself in five years? Do you like children? How’s your relationship with your mother? and so on.” Both energies are uncomfortable and a second date is unlikely.

When you go on a date, it’s all about being comfortable with each other. A good date gives you what YOU want. A man plans in advance and makes it convenient for you. He also stays in touch before the date. On the day of the date, he shows up on time, opens the door, he’s polite, he asks  questions, and he’s relationship oriented. At the end of the date he gives you a big kiss and calls the next day.

A  lot of men are clueless and haven’t read or heard Evan’s material. You can’t possibly blame men for their lack of knowledge, so it’s up to YOU to take control of the date. That means you’re interesting and interested. You make him feel important. You admire, respect and appreciate him. You ask questions, laugh a lot, thank him profusely at the end of the date, and if he extends himself to kiss you, you kiss him back! If you do all of that, you will be asked for a second date every single time.

During this coaching call, the big aha moment for me was the  3 after-date questions that Evan says will help me determine if a guy is worthy of a second date.

    – Was I attracted to him?
    – Did I have fun?
    – Did I feel comfortable?

On a scale of 0 -10, 10 being the highest, the rating for each question should be 6 or higher in order to go out with the guy again.   Both of my recent dates scored 6 or more on all three questions, so I’m going out with both again this weekend. I’ll let you know how things go next week.

Many thanks for following my journey, the encouragement, comments and love.

Always remember to keep your heart open to give and to receive love.


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  1. 1

    Maria, what about the men?   How are they so different?   What kind of dates did you have with them?   What did you like about each of them? Give us more insight, please!

    1. 1.1

      Thank you for the question, Carol.I went to dinner and a movie with one and dinner and a walk on the boardwalk by the beach with the other one. They were both respectful and courteous… The writer is more “mellow” and J is a more “I take care of it” kind of guy. We had good conversation, they pay the bill   and I felt comfortable around them… At the end we slightly kiss….In the past I wouId get physical right away and get hurt when the guy wouldn’t call me….. What I’m learning about men and myself is priceless.

  2. 2

    Funny.   I wonder if I’m an exception in that it ALWAYS takes time for attraction to grow with any man.   I can have a good rapport; lovely conversations; a sense of if we have much in common; interest in seeing him again etc. on a first date but I don’t think I’ve ever had this “insta-attraction” that I keep reading about.   I’ve felt an “insta-click” with certain men and I’m even wary of that, since I know it takes months to truly judge a man’s character.
    I have no doubt that some women experience insta-attraction but I wonder if it’s less pervasive than many guys think.   I read a lot of Red Pill/ Manosphere fellows who believe that a man who is patient with a woman he’s interested in and courts her over time is some kind of chump bc if she were insta-attracted, she’d f*ck him after the first or second meeting and accept even poor treatment from him.   This belief supports the general Manosphere goal of teaching men to create insta-attraction… which for me, at least (and maybe for some other women) just doesn’t exist.
    Anyway, in spite of this, I agree with Evan that the first date is just about gauging whether one had a nice time and felt comfortable.   If one’s the type of woman who can feel attraction from the get-go, then it makes sense to have it on the list, too.   I also whole-heartedly agree that it’s important to just try to enjoy those first dates; don’t worry about whether or not he’s “the one” but just sit back and try to make the process pleasant for the both of you.   Chances are, we’ll all go on MAAAAANY dates before we find true love, so why not try to ensure it’s not an ordeal but rather a treat to spend time with these men?!

    1. 2.1

      Well said, Henriette… In my case insta-click or attraction has always get me in trouble… This is why I’m giving myself the opportunity to meet men I would’ve not give them a chance in the past… I made a big mistake to confuse physical attraction with love… And then expected the man to be respectful, loyal, funny, honest, relationship oriented etc. etc….. Just because he was cute.  
      There is so much more to love than looks.   

  3. 3

    I don’t think is Maria writing this, it is someone else.   It is too scripted.   The dates probably didn’t even happen or if they did, they bombed.   Otherwise she would be rambling how excited she is for paragraphs.   This feels so structured, and going so slow.   It promotes more of Evan’s books and stuff more than what she goes through.   She’ll be 655 but the time she finds someone at this rate.

    1. 3.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Ah, conspiracy theorists. The saddest people on earth, because they can’t even trust the most basic things without asking ridiculous questions. Maria writes everything herself, posts a video, sends it to my assistant, who posts it on my blog. The only thing I do is check for grammar. You may not be satisfied with Maria’s progress – which, candidly, is neither here nor there. But you can’t assault my integrity or Maria’s integrity for no reason. Begone, troll.

    2. 3.2

      You’re right, @fds.   Maria’s methods will only bring her love when she’s 655 years old.   I mean, writing a thoughtful & effective profile; communicating with potential dates a few times before meeting them in person; getting to know various men at a slow and steady rate… that’s ridiculous stuff.   Far better to post a 3rd-rate write-up; get wildly excited to the point of “rambling for paragraphs” about a guy she’s only had one date with; and quickly jump into bed with men she scarcely knows… that’s how lasting love is created.  
      Thanks for helping us “keep it real,” dude!

    3. 3.3

      I got a different impression from Maria’s progress. My take away was, even with professional help, finding someone takes time. Many of us want to employ a professional like Evan, because we want that instant result. We only focus on the stories of people who signed up and found love quickly, while conveniently ignoring the millions who do online dating for years before they see any results.
      Give a hungry person a fish and they eat for a day, teach them to fish and they eat for a life time. I always took it as Evan was teaching us how to date better, not hand picking our future spouses, he just gives us the tools and techniques. So thanks Maria and Evan.

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