Remember the relationships writer – the guy that told me it seemed like I was following EMK’s 2-2-2 rule? We had our second date on Sunday but it wasn’t that much fun. He didn’t talk much and on both dates he seemed too preoccupied with how much dinner would cost… so much so that I was hesitant to even order guacamole! Evan says that if you know you’re not going on another date with a guy, it’s only fair to insist on helping with the check. So at the end of dinner, I made sure we split the bill.
On the other hand, I’m very enthusiastic about the other guy (I’ll call him J). Even though J is not my type, his self-confidence makes him very attractive to me. He had to reschedule the second date due to work but in the meantime he has stayed in touch and is making plans for our next date. This is one of the things that Evan advised me about last week and one of the reasons I’m optimistic about J: “What the guy does between dates is more important than what happened during the date.”
What the guy does between dates is more important than what happened during the date.
Evan always reminds me to temper my optimism and stresses the importance of sharing the same vision in life and the same values. These are the things that prevail after the initial attraction. Lust may be fun in the short term, but in my experience, it hasn’t necessarily lead to a successful long-term relationship.
So even though I had two second dates scheduled, Evan encouraged me to keep logging into Match and communicate with 7-10 different guys in my inbox. As he says, “No man is real until he’s your boyfriend.”
Thank you for following my journey, your support, love and encouragement.
Talk to you next week,