Today, I’m going to do something I’ve never done before: I’m going to be a matchmaker.
The man I’m going to introduce you to is an amazing catch. He’s tall, he’s cute, he’s intelligent, he’s successful. He comes from a close family and wants to build a family of his own. He’s got an adorable blend of confidence and humility. He’s played around a little bit, but is extremely serious about finding the love of his life. He really, really wants to get married to the right woman.
I’m telling you: this guy is objectively AMAZING – and I am so confident that you’re gonna love him that, well, I’ve already promised him that you would agree to MARRY him.
I’m sensing a little hesitation on your part, so let me reiterate: he’s an incredible man. Kind, sensitive, family-oriented, and ripped abs, to boot. I couldn’t imagine that any woman wouldn’t want to be his wife.
Really? You want to think about it? You want to see if you like him first? You want to see if there’s chemistry? You don’t believe in arranged marriage?
Believe me, I don’t take my responsibility as a matchmaker lightly. I’m only introducing you because I think you could be “the one” – the rare catch who is good enough for him…
Fair enough. But what if I guaranteed you that you’d like him? What if I promised you there’d be chemistry? What if I knew, deep down in my heart, that, no matter what, after six weeks, you would fall deeply and madly in love with this man?
It’s starting to sound a little better, isn’t it?
Believe me, I don’t take my responsibility as a matchmaker lightly. I’m only introducing you because I think you could be “the one” – the rare catch who is good enough for him, the charmed Cinderella who deserves the fairytale romance.
Are you on board? Please tell me you are.
He is a real romantic and loves fine dining, travelling, and jetsetting around the world. So if you’re game – and are serious about making a commitment to a man that you’ve never met before, I’ll make the introduction. Don’t worry. It’s not as weird as it sounds.
Just remember, you HAVE to fall in love with him and agree to marry him. Because if you don’t, someone else will. Probably pretty quickly.
You’ll do it? Great! You are a very lucky woman, and I thank you for trusting my taste in men. After all, it doesn’t really matter whether you have the same sense of humor, same goals, similar intelligence and values, or even want to live in the same city. All that matters is that you want to get married and you have sexual chemistry. The rest will work itself out just fine.
Tune in tonight to watch The Bachelor finale, and ask yourself how much sense it makes for these women to agree to fall in love with whomever ABC puts in front of them. If I’m the Bachelor, they’d fall for me. If your brother was the Bachelor, they’d fall for him.
The guy is arbitrary. It’s about 25 women competing for the ring that makes she show fly.
Sadly, the results reflect this reality.