12 Things Women May Not Want to Know About What Men Think…

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This concept was liberally borrowed from Esquire’s 10 Things You Don’t Know About Women. It’s not relationship advice. It’s light comedy, built heavily on cliché and stereotypes. The readers at Yahoo! nearly crashed their comments section with their thoughts on either how amusing or how offensive this is. If you’re in the second category, you should probably not be reading this blog. Really. I won’t take it personally.

Anyway, here are 12 Things Women May Not Want to Know About What Men Think…

1. Getting angry at us for not reading your mind is like getting angry at yourself for not being able to fly. It’s not just futile, it’s physically impossible.
2. Yes, we do think Jessica Alba is hot. Sometimes we’re even dumb enough to admit it.
3. Don’t ask us to understand your shoe fetish. Asking us to respect it is even sort of pushing it.
4. You do look good without makeup, just not as good as you look with it.
5. Ever notice how we don’t fight with our male friends? That’s why we get so frustrated when we fight with you.
6. You care what you’re wearing infinitely more than we do. In fact, if you’re naked when you open the front door, you won’t hear an argument from us.
7. You don’t like to get hit on in public, you don’t want to date online and you don’t want to be set up on blind dates. Tell us if sending messenger pigeons is an appropriate way of courting. Because if it is, we’re all over it.
8. There should a statute of limitations on stupid things that we said that can come back to haunt us. I propose 24 hours.
9. Cooking dinner for a man is like buying flowers for a woman, except it takes a lot more time, effort and thought for you to do it. Thanks. We appreciate it.
10. We actually like your girly pet-names for us, but please, not in front of the guys!
11. Just because we like looking at the women in Maxim doesn’t mean we want to actually converse with the women in Maxim. Not for long, anyway.
12. Your nice guy friends are the most reliable source for telling you if your new boyfriend’s a jerk. And he probably is. (By the way, you might want to consider marrying that nice guy who’s giving you advice about the jerk.)

To read this live on Yahoo!, please click here: 11 Things Women Don’t Know About Men

What I’d really like are thoughts from men on what else women need to know about us, and thoughts from women on things men should know about what you secretly think.

Fire away. You won’t be judged here.

 

 

Join our conversation (63 Comments).
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Comments:

  1. 21
    Cat

    Women spend so much more money looking good for her date. Just something to consider. She should always be prepared, but men should also appreciate just how much women are (expected to be) involved in looking good for their dates when all he had to do was shower and throw on some pants. MAYBE pull out the iron and run a brush over his shoes.
      
    When a woman goes in half on a traditional “get dressed up” dinner date, really she went in a good 75%. Not all women do, but the type who says she hates a cheap date, she’s not really talking about digging for gold, she’s realizing (even if just subconsciously) how much in time and cash she spent on him.
      
    Something to consider.

    1. 21.1
      eric

      What women or men wear or do with their time is a singular choice. Like only women spend $ on clothes   as if men get them for free?
      It’s not on men women are painfully aware of their depreciating looks; grey hair, sagging tits, wrinkles on ya face, all before 27 then are desperate to slow the process down.
      When you date, two people share an activity & in the world of equality … the bill is split.
      Of course I don’t waste my $ on a date. Girls hang out these days, good thing too because their fickle behavior makes them a poor investment.  

      1. 21.1.1
        Julia

        You must meet some haggard 26 year olds. My guess is your attitude will work while in your twenties but you will need to readjust in your 30s.

      2. 21.1.2
        Pat

        “…depreciating looks; grey hair, sagging tits, wrinkles…”

        “…their fickle behavior makes them a poor investment.”

        Let me guess. You look like Channing Tatum and have the financial resources of Bill Gates. No? Can we call you depreciating and a poor investment then? With your disrespectful opinion of women, I’m not at all surprised you’re single.

        1. starthrower68

          I don’t think some of our dear brethren believe some of the things they say. They just find it great sport to get women riled up.

  2. 22
    Cat

    Topic: Equality. That’s about public life. You’re not expected to pull the chair out for your coworkers, take their jackets but are expected not to smack their rears, not negotiate “favors” so that they can keep their jobs, and pay them equally. That’s public life.
    In personal life, men want women to be women. Women want men to be men. For the most part–obviously there are variations of people. But generally, this is the case. In all my life, I have never understood why so many men cannot grasp this difference. They can understand compartmentalized sex, but have difficulty with this one very simple, obvious and common sense compartmentalization.
    The advances women have made in the past several decades isn’t so much equality, but it’s just downright basic respect from the male population. You can still be a dashing knight on your dates and a respectful coworker by day.
    There just will always be a type of woman who tries out husband/father material by how her dates behave chivalrously. And there will always be men who WANT women who want that. Ladies, if he’s not doing that and that’s what fulfills your evolutionary urges, then thank him for the nice evening and be on your way. Same for you, guys. Stop blaming women for what a lot of men actually WANT. And women will appreciate there are men who prefer the modern impersonal way of doing things.
    Relationships are not 50/50. They are 100%. Sometimes your 100% will be lower on some days and your partner, giving their 100% will be able to catch you. If you’re too busy being 50/50, one day you will fall short and need her to come through, but you trained her into only doing half since “this is equality”.
    The end.

    1. 22.1
      Adam

      I completely agree with you 100%.

      Men are extremely confused. They are, as you point out, confusing behavior in the workplace with behavior in relationships. In a relationship, obviously, a guy is a guy and a girl is a girl.

      I see nothing wrong with taking care of a woman (within reason) and certainly if I ask a girl out on a date I’m going to pay for it, without a doubt. I’m going to open doors and pull out chairs, that is what a real man does. But at the same time, I want a real woman who is feminine and provides love and support. Someone who inspires me and helps me become greater.

      One of my friends is extremely lucky to be married to one awesome woman. They have been together for nearly 10 years and are still deeply in love. She is very feminine and a great mother. She loves and supports my friend to pieces. And he loves and adores her and treats her like a queen. It is funny, before finding the woman who would eventually become his wife, he was dumped by his previous girlfriend because he treated her “too well” and was “too nice.” Whatever.

  3. 23
    JoeK

    So, Cat #22, you’re saying that men should pay for dates because women spend so much time/energy/money prepping for them? She spent that time/energy/money for HERSELF, not him.

    This has been beaten down before on this site. It’s a lame argument.

    Better to just face it like Evan always says: Men pay for *first* dates at a minimum. It’s just the way it works. By the third date or so she should offer to pay or reciprocate (i.e. offer to make dinner).

    I have no issue with paying for dates, partly because I’m going to be selective in who I ask out on dates. If I ask out someone who doesn’t seem fun, it’s my own fault if I think I wasted my money.

  4. 24
    Annie

    These are all quite obvious and should not be in the least bit unpleasant to any woman who has dated more than one guy. The unpleasant stuff is finding out he never cares at all about what you have to say but expects you to listen to him when he feels like talking, not only does he think Jessica Alba is hot, he thinks the middle aged woman next door is hot (enough) and is probably screwing her, and he sees you as basically a warm, moving blowup doll who produces sex and food when given a few kind words or material goods.

    These are slightly exaggerated and don’t apply to all men, but unfortunately the truth is pretty close.

  5. 25
    Ems

    If she’s hot! You will pay for the date. It’s not about equality, it’s about how bad you want the fine lady and in what way.  

  6. 26
    Matt

    I’m a Christian and believe a man should lead in his relationship.   God is the Boss/Coach; the man is the leader/team captain;   the female is a teammate (not the cheerleader/waterboy). She’s in the game of life right next to the captain taking her calls from the captain who runs the plays the coach has called (I.e The Bible).   I give no credence to social and cultural normatives or fears in regards to my life;   I fear God, not the opinions or thoughts of others.

    1. 26.1
      A1

      Hi Matt, this is a very sickening perspective that you have.   Have you read that God says that husbands should revere their wives even to the point of death as Jesus did for us?   God does not say in any way that husbands are the ‘coach’.   To say that a husband is the coach indicates you have some kind of heightened perspective.   Have you ever seen a women give birth or thought about it?   Men come from women, women do the nurturing, often do the child rearing & can sometimes even be more intelligent than their husbands.   They deserve respect, your post is waaayyy off!
      What is more – some husbands may of come to God later in life than their wives, they are not capable of being the ‘coach’ a marriage is about love.

      When God said men are the head – this means going into battle for your wife as she has enough to bear.   This means understanding that engergy levels get low with all the multi tasking & hundreds of ways that women think & help & nuturture & grow children & contribute to their society.   No it doesn’t mean you are the coach.

  7. 27
    Purple

    Personally I’d rather pay the bill for taking a girl out on a date. As for woman that have lip rings personally I find it stunning

  8. 28
    Hajan

    The Bible doesn’t tell you to treat women like that. Remember not everything in the Bible should be seen as completely right

  9. 29
    Pat

    Re: #9.   So how come I’m always cooking meals and I never get flowers. 😛

  10. 30
    angel

    Girls are very much attentive to the guy she liked on first date. So guys if u r interested in her and if u had said that u wud call her at a specific time then pls call her at that specific time else the girl will panic, think unnecessarily about why u didnt call? Why didnt u like her? What mistake she made during date? Is she attractive enough? And questions will go on in her mind till she is tired and frustrated…. ( it happened with me on my first date. However no fault of my date. His phone met with an accident and he lost my number :))

    1. 30.1
      JoeK

      If you want people to understand and respond, then use full words, periods, and paragraphs.

      Text-speak is for, well, *text* or 12-year-olds.

  11. 31
    angel

    Hey if we women can sing songs on equality then its our duty to pay atleast half of the bill amount and prove that we are equally capable to handle the burden:) besides I dont want to be high maintainance and I can equally support myself thank you:)

  12. 32
    Danielle

    I think it’s funny how men love to talk about sex when they are not in a relationship with you, but God forbid if I bring up to my man the fact that he hit it right lastnight and gave me an incredible orgasm, he squirms like a schoolboy and changes the subject!

  13. 33
    Nicki

    This article was hysterical. I’ve been told by other woman that I do not understand how to be a girl, but I think after reading this maybe I know more than they think. I have never gone on a date where I don’t go for my wallet. Not for effect, but to actually pay. Sometimes they refuse, sometimes not. I think of a date as a joint venture so fair is fair. I do not cook for myself, but I do love cooking for a man who likes to eat. I do not want to hear about how I look all day because I’d rather you notice others things, like the fact that I’m not a moron and if either of us upsets the other or makes a mistake, I want it deal with it immediately & never have it brought up again. I am a 0 size blonde. I am also quite capable of thinking & doing for myself and plenty of men are fine with that. Sex is just sex, do it or don’t and anyone male or female who feels it is owed is not someone you want to spend time with.

  14. 34
    Jenny Gannon

    Women should not always make dinner for there man!!!
    That sounds like being there slave. It shouldnt be like that. No woman should be a slave to there man. Some woman don’t like that. As well as myself!!

    1. 34.1
      Karmic Equation

      I bet you don’t know how to cook, so, yeah, cooking *would* seem like slavery. So be honest, admit you can’t cook instead of rephrasing that you don’t want to be a slave. Sheesh.

      I can cook, but I don’t like to do it. However, I love it when my man and I work together to cook a meal. Feels very loving and domestic-y 🙂

      OTOH, when I’m in a new relationship, I like showing off a little bit. The other night my bf and I went to the Olive Garden and he ordered pasta with meat sauce. I can make an awesome pasta with meat saunce. I’m just going to surprise him with it when I have the time to make it. Which, unfortunately, is not in the foreseeable future. We’re both on the go, so we out every day–together, tho 🙂

    2. 34.2
      Sparkling Emerald

      I know very few women who “always” make dinner for their man. Unless they were women who always made a nice meal for themselves while single. I do know women who often cook for their guy and sometimes go out to eat. And I know couples who enjoy cooking together or take turns. In fact I see a big variety in how couples share the cooking. Personally, I love sharing a meal with my boyfriend. I enjoy having a dinner companion weather I cooked, he cooked, we cooked or the chef at the restaurant cooked. No slavery going on in my kitchen. Just 2 people enjoying a meal and each other’s company.

  15. 35
    marcy francis

    Regarding the comments on who pays for dates, the answer is: the person who asked for the date, pays for the date. The person who accepted the date is your guest, and you are the host. When the host invites you over for a homemade dinner, do you offer to pay half the grocery bill and equivalent hourly wage for the meal? Of course not. So why would you expect your guest to pay his/her way for the restaurant meal and entertainment that you chose for your guest? It is rude to have guests pay regardless as to the gender of the guest/s. If your guest offers to pay, state that it is your treat and thank them for spending time with you. The guest should kindly thank the host for the hospitality and then can offer to host next time.

  16. 36
    Mr. Man

    Just because you have a vagina, doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you. Some guys are looking for a connection. Oh, and just because you’re hot and have a nice body, if you have a shitty attitude I’m not interested, ever.

    1. 36.1
      Anonomas wisewoman

      Dude, that’s really cool of you to say.   I’m relieved to find that there are some guys that exist that are actually interested in a girl’s personality.

  17. 37
    Anonomas wisewoman

    Number 7… hmmm… see, we don’t wanna go on blind dates or date off line because we want to meet someone that we slowly fall in love with.   Us girls want to get to know someone in person.   We want to have that moment when you ask us for our number and when you ask us out for the first time.   Being paired up with someone that you haven’t even met personally just isn’t the same.   My boyfriend and I hung out for three years before we started dating.

  18. 38
    Amanda

    Bring on the Messenger Pigeons! 🕊  

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