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Home > Understanding Men

Understanding Men

I don’t speak for all men. But I try to speak for the most desirable ones: smart, successful, confident, driven, honest, experienced, sensitive, and marriage-oriented. If you want to be in a relationship with a man like that, please read every single post below to get a better sense of how we think. Knowledge is power.

About The BLOG

Find out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women.

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How Can You Attract and Keep the Right Guy?

You were delighted when I told you how to tell if a man was falling in love with you. You were thrilled when I told you when to dump a…

Read More… 250 comments

Why Do Men Who Don’t Want Anything Serious End Up with Girlfriends?

Why Are There No Attractive Men in Your Area

I’m 31, fit, intelligent, attractive, and I’ve done enough work on myself to know that I’m happy, and that I’m ready for a relationship. Here’s my pattern: I’ll have a…

Read More… 387 comments

How Can I Learn To Trust A Man And Give Him Freedom?

How Do I Cope With the Other Women in His Life?

Hello Evan, I’m new to you, but I’m a quick student. My question is not really for you, though, it’s for your wife. Has she written anything you can refer…

Read More… 177 comments

Why Men Aren’t Speaking Up About the #MeToo Movement

Why Men Aren’t Speaking Up About the #MeToo Movement

I scrolled through my NewsFeed and read through the names. It was overwhelming. Shocking. Soul-crushing. The old co-worker who is an animal and human rights activist. The founder of a…

Read More… 465 comments

Is Online Dating Safe?

Is Online Dating Safe

If I told you that 464 Americans  died doing something in 2013, you’d be alarmed. You know, intellectually, that 464 is a drop in the bucket in a country of 350…

Read More… 130 comments

Do Men Like Bitches Or Nice Girls?

Do Men Like Bitches Or Nice Girls?

Evan, When it comes to dating, what do you think works best for attracting a man — and making him want to commit? In the world of dating advice, there…

Read More… 141 comments

What Do Men REALLY Want From Women?

What Do Men REALLY Want From Women?

Have you ever dated a guy and thought things were going GREAT between you, only to have him suddenly start being flaky, or stop calling, or vanish all together? In…

Read More… 259 comments

How Can I Turn Drinks into Dinner Without Scaring Guys Off?

How Can I Turn Drinks into Dinner Without Scaring Guys Off

I’ve been reading your blog for about two years now and your book ‘Why He Disappeared‘ really helped me get over a failed relationship. Thank you! I have been dating…

Read More… 515 comments

A Good Man Is Hard to Find. Only 35% of Men Are Emotionally Intelligent.

a good mas is hard to find

If this was a blog for men, I would spend a whole lot more time talking about how men need to change. But since this is a blog for women,…

Read More… 290 comments

My Boyfriend Is Turned Off By My Hairy Legs.

I’m 25 and have been dating a man who is 34 for the last 1.5 years. There is a lot to like about him – he’s smart, kind, caring, and…

Read More… 154 comments
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Search my Date-A-Base

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

ASK EVAN: ask me a dating question.

You Said

  • "BBQ, "This isn’t addressed to you but I’m confused as to how some think this (disappearance) of the male provider etiquette isn’t/won’t continue to be the case. How could it not be?" By your…"
    Emily, to on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "Emily, to This may be an etiquette rule that’s generational because it definitely isn’t true of around the millennial generation. It’s inevitable those kind of “chivalrous” signals fade a…"
    Bbq on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "Buck25 Truth. My large county has had only 8 cases thus far for which I am exceedingly grateful. The very small county I just left in Colorado had at least 10x that many. I have male friends that h…"
    Noquay on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "This isn't true of online dating because it's obvious dating is the intention, but if a guy a woman knows as an acquaintance or maybe a friend asks her to do something for the first time one-on-one an…"
    Emily, to on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "1000%. Someone being 15 minutes late AND actually letting you know they are late, or going to be late is fine. Showing up WHENEVER you feel like with no excuse and just assuming I have nothing better…"
    Lisel on My Boyfriend is Habitually Late and I’m Sick of It!
  • "so agree with De Elle - to give out publicly such a raw and vulnerable content is amazing! in our relationship, the overlapping issue is sex, but not him wanting more from me, but me wanting, and…"
    egle on How You Can Get Closer To Your Boyfriend After A Fight
  • "Jo, you've offered an anecdote, and I don't doubt your own experiences. But I can counteract it with my own: the best partners I had (grounded, considerate, generous, etc) were the women who offered a…"
    shaukat on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "I think we generally agree dude, just pointing to some of the issues that arise when someone holds such a rigid stance on this issue. I think there is some room for nuance here, that's all.…"
    shaukat on How to Have a GREAT First Date

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Happy ClientsHappy Clients

  • Cathy C.

    "Thank you for what you do, Evan."

    Here's the deal.   I read your blog - I devour your newsletters.   I've learned  so much about men  (and myself) through the process.  

    Cathy C.
  • Kim M.

    "Now I feel empowered and I am glad to be free of him, to find the one who will love me without question."

    I learned, through reading “Why He Disappeared”, that because of the fact that he did not commit to me, I really didn't want him back. I realized that I needed to find the man who would love me unconditionally for who I am, not for who he wanted me to be.

    Kim M.
  • Heather J.

    "Seriously…everything you described would happen, happened!"

    He emailed me, he called me, he asked for a date, he called back, he contacts me everyday, he took down his profile first, he stopped dating the other women he was dating and asked me to “date exclusively” because he wants to focus on getting to know me better. All I did was say yes.

    Heather J.

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

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  • Recent Posts

    • How You Can Get Closer To Your Boyfriend After A Fight
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    • How to Have a GREAT First Date
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