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Home > Understanding Men

Understanding Men

I don’t speak for all men. But I try to speak for the most desirable ones: smart, successful, confident, driven, honest, experienced, sensitive, and marriage-oriented. If you want to be in a relationship with a man like that, please read every single post below to get a better sense of how we think. Knowledge is power.

About The BLOG

Find out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women.

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Why Don’t Men Like Smart, Strong, Successful Women?

Smart woman with arms crossed

Hi, Evan. I’m 41, happy with my rounded self, smart, direct, and articulate. I’ve been told that my lack of dates is due to: 1) Men don’t like smart, direct…

Read More… 1,353 comments

I Think I’m Hot But My Boyfriend Doesn’t Seem to Think So

I Think I’m Hot But My Boyfriend Doesn’t Seem to Think So

Evan, I want an honest opinion on my predicament. I am in a year-long relationship and my boyfriend is a wonderful man. We have a strong connection and share a…

Read More… 646 comments

Men Are Honest. You’re Just Not Listening.

Men Are Honest. You’re Just Not Listening.

I take my job as your personal trainer for love very seriously. I try to honor and respect every woman who reads my emails and offer advice that is honest…

Read More… 589 comments

My Boyfriend Expressed Doubts When Asking Me to Be His Girlfriend. Should I Worry?

girl thinking about her boyfriend having doubts in their relationship

I came across your blog when I first started online dating a few years ago in New York and your advice has helped me navigate the modern dating scene. I’ve…

Read More… 545 comments

Should I Let My Boyfriend Be Friends With His Ex?

2 women and 1 man drinking wine, on the couch

I want to know where you stand on the whole “staying friends with your ex” thing. Recently I moved to the country/ town where my boyfriend lives, after a few…

Read More… 522 comments

How Can I Turn Drinks into Dinner Without Scaring Guys Off?

How Can I Turn Drinks into Dinner Without Scaring Guys Off

I’ve been reading your blog for about two years now and your book ‘Why He Disappeared‘ really helped me get over a failed relationship. Thank you! I have been dating…

Read More… 516 comments

Why Men Aren’t Speaking Up About the #MeToo Movement

Why Men Aren’t Speaking Up About the #MeToo Movement

I scrolled through my NewsFeed and read through the names. It was overwhelming. Shocking. Soul-crushing. The old co-worker who is an animal and human rights activist. The founder of a…

Read More… 465 comments

Why Men Need to Court Women Again

Why men need to court women again

I’ve been a dating coach since 2003. I’ve been a dating coach for smart, strong, successful women since 2010. The only reason I focused on that very specific demographic is…

Read More… 390 comments

Why Do Men Who Don’t Want Anything Serious End Up with Girlfriends?

Why Are There No Attractive Men in Your Area

I’m 31, fit, intelligent, attractive, and I’ve done enough work on myself to know that I’m happy, and that I’m ready for a relationship. Here’s my pattern: I’ll have a…

Read More… 388 comments

Why Gender Feminists Ignore Science That Doesn’t Confirm Their Beliefs.

feminist woman wearing eyeglasses and yellow dress

I know I recently shared a cartoon about whether men and women were different. I found it amusing in how it acknowledged and poked fun at common gender stereotypes. Whether…

Read More… 366 comments
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You Said

  • "This is brilliant advice EMK! It’s been years since I’ve dated and I also rarely dated in my teens and 20s. Now that I’m in my 30s and having to start over, I must say I barely know much about d…"
    Amie on Five Questions To Consider When Dating A New Guy
  • "I'm also appreciative of Evan's unequivocal advice to dump this loser and not make any excuses for his behavior. My low self esteem resulted in a number of pathetic relationships. This guy's putting…"
    Sheila Pearl Williams on Where Is the Line Between Being Demanding and Expressing Needs?
  • "I really needed to hear this today. I just had a break up with a guy I've been dating for the past year. We didn't have any fight - I just gently brought up that he had been shutting down lately and w…"
    Michelle on Where Is the Line Between Being Demanding and Expressing Needs?
  • "When I read the response from the “boyfriend” I believed she must have been dating my ex. Excellent response, Evan.…"
    Jennifer C. on Where Is the Line Between Being Demanding and Expressing Needs?
  • "I love your response Evan.It takes responsible attitude to accept responsibility and do what is right.…"
    Ella on Where Is the Line Between Being Demanding and Expressing Needs?
  • "Alexandra, I hope you are reading all these comments and take them to heart. If you are still with this guy, then I suggest you work on building up your self-esteem. He's just not into you. Not your f…"
    Starla888 on Where Is the Line Between Being Demanding and Expressing Needs?
  • "I am fortunate in that I found an amazing man who doesn't wait until a special occasion. He acted as my chauffeur yesterday when I went to an out-of-town meeting and would have been too exhausted to d…"
    Persephone on Where Is the Line Between Being Demanding and Expressing Needs?
  • "Wow!! Wowie!! I’m sorry that happened to you Alexandra. You very clearly communicated your needs and he invalidated your feelings, ignored your needs and then proceeded to gaslight you. Run, don’…"
    PJ on Where Is the Line Between Being Demanding and Expressing Needs?

Happy ClientsHappy Clients

  • Heather J.

    "Seriously…everything you described would happen, happened!"

    He emailed me, he called me, he asked for a date, he called back, he contacts me everyday, he took down his profile first, he stopped dating the other women he was dating and asked me to “date exclusively” because he wants to focus on getting to know me better. All I did was say yes.

    Heather J.
  • Charlene J.

    "I cannot say enough good things about this man."

    He is a beautiful person and he is so generous, affectionate, well spoken and accomplished.  He is tall and athletic and totally hot.  He is 53, but I am here to tell you 53 can be pretty damn impressive. All this from a woman who a year before had equated dating with despair, rejection and pain.

    Charlene J.
  • Kim M.

    "Now I feel empowered and I am glad to be free of him, to find the one who will love me without question."

    I learned, through reading “Why He Disappeared”, that because of the fact that he did not commit to me, I really didn't want him back. I realized that I needed to find the man who would love me unconditionally for who I am, not for who he wanted me to be.

    Kim M.

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

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    • How to Date a Guy During Social Distancing
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