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Home > Blog > Understanding Men

Understanding Men

I don’t speak for all men. But I try to speak for the most desirable ones: smart, successful, confident, driven, honest, experienced, sensitive, and marriage-oriented. If you want to be in a relationship with a man like that, please read every single post below to get a better sense of how we think. Knowledge is power.

About The BLOG

Find out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women.

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I Think I’m Hot But My Boyfriend Doesn’t Seem to Think So

I Think I’m Hot But My Boyfriend Doesn’t Seem to Think So

Evan, I want an honest opinion on my predicament. I am in a year-long relationship and my boyfriend is a wonderful man. We have a strong connection and share a…

Read More… 624 comments

Men Are Honest. You’re Just Not Listening.

Men Are Honest. You’re Just Not Listening.

I take my job as your personal trainer for love very seriously. I try to honor and respect every woman who reads my emails and offer advice that is honest…

Read More… 571 comments

My Boyfriend Expressed Doubts When Asking Me to Be His Girlfriend. Should I Worry?

I came across your blog when I first started online dating a few years ago in New York and your advice has helped me navigate the modern dating scene. I’ve…

Read More… 545 comments

How Can I Turn Drinks into Dinner Without Scaring Guys Off?

I’ve been reading your blog for about two years now and your book ‘Why He Disappeared‘ really helped me get over a failed relationship. Thank you! I have been dating…

Read More… 514 comments

Should I Let My Boyfriend Be Friends With His Ex?

I want to know where you stand on the whole “staying friends with your ex” thing. Recently I moved to the country/ town where my boyfriend lives, after a few…

Read More… 499 comments

Why Men Aren’t Speaking Up About the #MeToo Movement

I scrolled through my NewsFeed and read through the names. It was overwhelming. Shocking. Soul-crushing. The old co-worker who is an animal and human rights activist. The founder of a…

Read More… 464 comments

Why Men Need to Court Women Again

I’ve been a dating coach since 2003. I’ve been a dating coach for smart, strong, successful women since 2010. The only reason I focused on that very specific demographic is…

Read More… 389 comments

Why Do Men Who Don’t Want Anything Serious End Up with Girlfriends?

I’m 31, fit, intelligent, attractive, and I’ve done enough work on myself to know that I’m happy, and that I’m ready for a relationship. Here’s my pattern: I’ll have a…

Read More… 387 comments

Thoughts on MRAs, MGTOWs, and the Manosphere

The manosphere – for those of you not in the know – is a collection of blogs written by men, for men. Their complaint is generally that women (especially American…

Read More… 333 comments

How Do I Avoid Wasting Time on Players and Narcissists?

How Do I Avoid Wasting Time on Players and Narcissists?

Dear Evan, I think your male point of view may help women spot the good guys. You advise us to be careful with the alphas and Mr. Know-it-all types. Well,…

Read More… 316 comments
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Search my Date-A-Base

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

ASK EVAN: ask me a dating question.

You Said

  • "shaukat, My oft-expressed problem with the leagues/SMV idea is that it is portrayed as universal. But it is far from it. Sure, there are things like symmetry and the golden mean in facial struct…"
    Clare on Are Dating Apps and Texting Working For You? If Not, There’s An Alternative.
  • "@ YAG, I agree SMV exists, but the problem is when people treat it as an iron clad law of physics. Humans are not math formulas,  and certain traits, quirks, styles, qualities etc, can make someon…"
    shaukat on Are Dating Apps and Texting Working For You? If Not, There’s An Alternative.
  • "to Ezamuzed, will do and will try my best.…"
    Bart Mckinnon on Why Men Aren’t Speaking Up About the #MeToo Movement
  • "Jeremy, I recall a recent comment of yours regarding Jordan Peterson, Emily.  You described him as hot because he’s smart and expresses himself regardless of what others say about him.  Had you n…"
    Emily, to on Are Dating Apps and Texting Working For You? If Not, There’s An Alternative.
  • "Thoughts are disrespectful? Good luck living life policing people's minds.…"
    Evan Marc Katz on What Do Men Get Out of Looking At Other Women? (And Why Do Men Cheat?)
  • "I agree with you Laura. That is disrespectful. In fact the thoughts are disrespectful as well. Only if men could be aware of thism…"
    Ruhi on What Do Men Get Out of Looking At Other Women? (And Why Do Men Cheat?)
  • "Yep. Evan is spot on with both his #4 suggestion and his framing of feminism. Feminism is about choice. Besides, life is funny. It's just as likely that at some point you will end up supporting him, g…"
    Nissa on Should I Move to Another Country to Pursue a Long-Distance Relationship?
  • "If you don't mind my asking (and truly, I mean no disrespect here, I just want to understand), what makes you consider this marriage a success?  What was it that you sought out in getting married tha…"
    Jeremy on Should I Move to Another Country to Pursue a Long-Distance Relationship?

Explore The Blog

Click Below to Learn About

  • The Love U Podcast
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  • Chemistry
  • Understanding Men
  • Communication
  • Flirting
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  • Cheating
  • Letting Go
  • Sex
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Happy ClientsHappy Clients

  • Marianne K.

    "Evan rocks as a dating coach, and if he can change my life, I promise: he can change yours, too!"

    Thanks to Evan, I finally feel like I'm exactly where I want to be in life. The future is wide open and bright, and I found a rare gem to cherish. I thank Evan for his advice and insight, his reading recommendations, and his encouragement through this process!

    Marianne K.
  • Maria N.

    "Evan, you’re amazing. You’re changing a little corner of the world in a very special way."

    The thing that I most love about Dan is that I can be myself around him. At 52 years old, I’ve never felt that way with any man I’ve dated… I believe that it’s just a matter of time before all of you beautiful women on here find someone special. Don’t give up!

    Maria N.
  • Shelagh M.

    "Dale and I have been together for two and a half years and will be married in 3 months."

    You provide a reality check and remind me that everyone has doubts and there is no one "normal" response to love and commitment. I think your insight and perspective is incredibly accurate - you seem to understand the plight/perspective of the working, successful urban woman over 30.

    Shelagh M.
  • Mary L.

    "You truly changed my life, my outlook...and I am grateful!!"

    John texts me crazy wonderful love texts to start and end every day.  The roses are never from the grocery store...the Christmas presents were thoughtful and perfect.  And I am wrapped in his wonderful love.

    Mary L.
  • Cathy C.

    "Thank you for what you do, Evan."

    Here's the deal.  I read your blog - I devour your newsletters.  I've learned so much about men (and myself) through the process. 

    Cathy C.

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

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  • Recent Posts

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    • Should Men Have to Verbally Ask for Consent Before Having Sex?
    • Can I Expect My Devoted But Angry Boyfriend To Grow Into A Good Husband Over Time?
    • Are Dating Apps and Texting Working For You? If Not, There’s An Alternative.
    • Is It Icky for Men to Pay Women For Their Company (and Sex?)
    • I Have a Crush on a Guy I Don’t Even Like and Can’t Get Over It!
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