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Home > Understanding Men

Understanding Men

I don’t speak for all men. But I try to speak for the most desirable ones: smart, successful, confident, driven, honest, experienced, sensitive, and marriage-oriented. If you want to be in a relationship with a man like that, please read every single post below to get a better sense of how we think. Knowledge is power.

About The BLOG

Find out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women.

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I Think I’m Hot But My Boyfriend Doesn’t Seem to Think So

I Think I’m Hot But My Boyfriend Doesn’t Seem to Think So

Evan, I want an honest opinion on my predicament. I am in a year-long relationship and my boyfriend is a wonderful man. We have a strong connection and share a…

Read More… 629 comments

Men Are Honest. You’re Just Not Listening.

Men Are Honest. You’re Just Not Listening.

I take my job as your personal trainer for love very seriously. I try to honor and respect every woman who reads my emails and offer advice that is honest…

Read More… 576 comments

My Boyfriend Expressed Doubts When Asking Me to Be His Girlfriend. Should I Worry?

I came across your blog when I first started online dating a few years ago in New York and your advice has helped me navigate the modern dating scene. I’ve…

Read More… 545 comments

How Can I Turn Drinks into Dinner Without Scaring Guys Off?

I’ve been reading your blog for about two years now and your book ‘Why He Disappeared‘ really helped me get over a failed relationship. Thank you! I have been dating…

Read More… 515 comments

Should I Let My Boyfriend Be Friends With His Ex?

I want to know where you stand on the whole “staying friends with your ex” thing. Recently I moved to the country/ town where my boyfriend lives, after a few…

Read More… 508 comments

Why Men Aren’t Speaking Up About the #MeToo Movement

I scrolled through my NewsFeed and read through the names. It was overwhelming. Shocking. Soul-crushing. The old co-worker who is an animal and human rights activist. The founder of a…

Read More… 465 comments

Why Men Need to Court Women Again

I’ve been a dating coach since 2003. I’ve been a dating coach for smart, strong, successful women since 2010. The only reason I focused on that very specific demographic is…

Read More… 389 comments

Why Do Men Who Don’t Want Anything Serious End Up with Girlfriends?

I’m 31, fit, intelligent, attractive, and I’ve done enough work on myself to know that I’m happy, and that I’m ready for a relationship. Here’s my pattern: I’ll have a…

Read More… 387 comments

Thoughts on MRAs, MGTOWs, and the Manosphere

The manosphere – for those of you not in the know – is a collection of blogs written by men, for men. Their complaint is generally that women (especially American…

Read More… 335 comments

How Do I Avoid Wasting Time on Players and Narcissists?

How Do I Avoid Wasting Time on Players and Narcissists?

Dear Evan, I think your male point of view may help women spot the good guys. You advise us to be careful with the alphas and Mr. Know-it-all types. Well,…

Read More… 328 comments
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Search my Date-A-Base

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

ASK EVAN: ask me a dating question.

You Said

  • "@Jeremy I get it, the toxic shame part. I agree we should never change to make someone else happy or to get people to like us better. But one needs to get over that. They should always been improving…"
    ezamuzed on Do Relationships Make You Feel Anxious? Read This.
  • "That is undoubtedly true, Emily, but I agree with Mrs Happy that women faking it is counterproductive. Because it just ensures that they will continue to not enjoy it into the future, their partners t…"
    Jeremy on Do Relationships Make You Feel Anxious? Read This.
  • "@Persephone As the article states, he encourages the reader to work on becoming a better version of themselves instead. And it also assumes that communicating your wants and needs has already been don…"
    ezamuzed on Do Relationships Make You Feel Anxious? Read This.
  • "Clare, "How the two of you put up with roommates, I cannot imagine." This is the LAST time I will ever have a roommate (or, frankly, live with anyone). If I want to leave the thermostat at 78 in the…"
    Emily, to on Are You a Good Listener?
  • "Jeremy, "Why then do men judge their sexual prowess by their ability to pleasure women and not themselves? " Therein lies the problem. Whereas both parties should be willing to do what he/she can to…"
    Emily, to on Do Relationships Make You Feel Anxious? Read This.
  • "And if what you wrote is true, EW, (and I believe it is, especially your last paragraph), then these women are their own worst enemies. The essence of their problem is their own mindset. When you wr…"
    Jeremy on Do Relationships Make You Feel Anxious? Read This.
  • "You mistake me, my friend. The desire you speak of is not the desire I seek, not how I interpret love. How to explain?To love someone....is to want to make them smile. To smile when they are sm…"
    Jeremy on Do Relationships Make You Feel Anxious? Read This.
  • "How the two of you put up with roommates, I cannot imagine.You must have the patience of saints.One perk of living on my side of the world is that, even on a modest salary (such as mine), you…"
    Clare on Are You a Good Listener?

Explore The Blog

Click Below to Learn About

  • The Love U Podcast
  • Dating Tips Advice
  • Chemistry
  • Understanding Men
  • Communication
  • Flirting
  • Online Dating
  • Cheating
  • Letting Go
  • Sex
  • Marriage

Happy ClientsHappy Clients

  • Tina P.

    "Evan answered my question on one of the calls and it was the best coaching ever."

    I’ve chosen to be cherished and allow myself to know that I was worthy of love.   Now, I feel like when I go with the flow and stop trying to control any given situation, things fall into place. It’s so exhilarating!   

    Tina P.
  • Karen M.

    "I have read it 10 times already, and keep revisiting it every time I begin to even hint at a moment’s insecurity."

    Brilliant! Once you understand where men are coming from, which I would not have been able to do without the help of "Why He Disappeared," it is very simple!   I have never felt so relaxed around him, he knows this and wants to spend more time with me. His choice!

    Karen M.
  • Maria N.

    "Evan, you’re amazing. You’re changing a little corner of the world in a very special way."

    The thing that I most love about Dan is that I can be myself around him. At 52 years old, I’ve never felt that way with any man I’ve dated… I believe that it’s just a matter of time before all of you beautiful women on here find someone special. Don’t give up!

    Maria N.

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

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      • Are You a Good Listener?
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