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Home > Understanding Men

Understanding Men

I don’t speak for all men. But I try to speak for the most desirable ones: smart, successful, confident, driven, honest, experienced, sensitive, and marriage-oriented. If you want to be in a relationship with a man like that, please read every single post below to get a better sense of how we think. Knowledge is power.

About The BLOG

Find out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women.

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I Think I’m Hot But My Boyfriend Doesn’t Seem to Think So

I Think I’m Hot But My Boyfriend Doesn’t Seem to Think So

Evan, I want an honest opinion on my predicament. I am in a year-long relationship and my boyfriend is a wonderful man. We have a strong connection and share a…

Read More… 641 comments

Men Are Honest. You’re Just Not Listening.

Men Are Honest. You’re Just Not Listening.

I take my job as your personal trainer for love very seriously. I try to honor and respect every woman who reads my emails and offer advice that is honest…

Read More… 586 comments

My Boyfriend Expressed Doubts When Asking Me to Be His Girlfriend. Should I Worry?

girl thinking about her boyfriend having doubts in their relationship

I came across your blog when I first started online dating a few years ago in New York and your advice has helped me navigate the modern dating scene. I’ve…

Read More… 545 comments

How Can I Turn Drinks into Dinner Without Scaring Guys Off?

How Can I Turn Drinks into Dinner Without Scaring Guys Off

I’ve been reading your blog for about two years now and your book ‘Why He Disappeared‘ really helped me get over a failed relationship. Thank you! I have been dating…

Read More… 515 comments

Should I Let My Boyfriend Be Friends With His Ex?

I want to know where you stand on the whole “staying friends with your ex” thing. Recently I moved to the country/ town where my boyfriend lives, after a few…

Read More… 515 comments

Why Men Aren’t Speaking Up About the #MeToo Movement

Why Men Aren’t Speaking Up About the #MeToo Movement

I scrolled through my NewsFeed and read through the names. It was overwhelming. Shocking. Soul-crushing. The old co-worker who is an animal and human rights activist. The founder of a…

Read More… 465 comments

Why Men Need to Court Women Again

I’ve been a dating coach since 2003. I’ve been a dating coach for smart, strong, successful women since 2010. The only reason I focused on that very specific demographic is…

Read More… 389 comments

Why Do Men Who Don’t Want Anything Serious End Up with Girlfriends?

Why Are There No Attractive Men in Your Area

I’m 31, fit, intelligent, attractive, and I’ve done enough work on myself to know that I’m happy, and that I’m ready for a relationship. Here’s my pattern: I’ll have a…

Read More… 387 comments

Thoughts on MRAs, MGTOWs, and the Manosphere

The manosphere – for those of you not in the know – is a collection of blogs written by men, for men. Their complaint is generally that women (especially American…

Read More… 338 comments

How Do I Avoid Wasting Time on Players and Narcissists?

How Do I Avoid Wasting Time on Players and Narcissists?

Dear Evan, I think your male point of view may help women spot the good guys. You advise us to be careful with the alphas and Mr. Know-it-all types. Well,…

Read More… 328 comments
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Search my Date-A-Base

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

ASK EVAN: ask me a dating question.

You Said

  • "Emily, to This may be an etiquette rule that’s generational because it definitely isn’t true of around the millennial generation. It’s inevitable those kind of “chivalrous” signals fade a…"
    Bbq on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "Buck25 Truth. My large county has had only 8 cases thus far for which I am exceedingly grateful. The very small county I just left in Colorado had at least 10x that many. I have male friends that h…"
    Noquay on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "This isn't true of online dating because it's obvious dating is the intention, but if a guy a woman knows as an acquaintance or maybe a friend asks her to do something for the first time one-on-one an…"
    Emily, to on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "1000%. Someone being 15 minutes late AND actually letting you know they are late, or going to be late is fine. Showing up WHENEVER you feel like with no excuse and just assuming I have nothing better…"
    Lisel on My Boyfriend is Habitually Late and I’m Sick of It!
  • "so agree with De Elle - to give out publicly such a raw and vulnerable content is amazing! in our relationship, the overlapping issue is sex, but not him wanting more from me, but me wanting, and…"
    egle on How You Can Get Closer To Your Boyfriend After A Fight
  • "Jo, you've offered an anecdote, and I don't doubt your own experiences. But I can counteract it with my own: the best partners I had (grounded, considerate, generous, etc) were the women who offered a…"
    shaukat on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "I think we generally agree dude, just pointing to some of the issues that arise when someone holds such a rigid stance on this issue. I think there is some room for nuance here, that's all.…"
    shaukat on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "Evan Marc Katz I listen I just don’t agree. I didn’t convince you either now did I? It’s alright matey, some topics are just sticking points.…"
    Bbq on How to Have a GREAT First Date

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  • Janis P.

    "I have met a man I can only describe as practically perfect."

    Evan's info gave me the understanding that if a guy is interested in you, he will want to be with you, he will call when he says he will call, he will make sure he arranges time to spend with you.  

    Janis P.
  • Jana B.

    "I'm so glad I didn't give up, no one should ever give up. You have to kiss A LOT of toads to find your prince."

    I knew I needed to in order to attract the love of my life. I had romantic dreams and the reality of the dating scene was a wake-up call… A man with answers about men! That is the "golden ticket"!  

    Jana B.
  • Amy G.

    “I will never have to settle for a less than fabulous relationship ever again.”

    He recently started referring to us as boyfriend and girlfriend and it makes my heart sing. I really feel that we are moving towards the next level in our relationship and I continue to listen to “Why He Disappeared” on a weekly basis to keep myself grounded.

    Amy G.

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

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  • Recent Posts

    • How You Can Get Closer To Your Boyfriend After A Fight
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    • How to Have a GREAT First Date
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