Love U Frequently Asked Questions
What do I get in Love U?
Love U is a one-stop-shop to teach you everything you need to know about dating, relationships, and men.
Month 1: Confidence
Month 2: Meeting Men
Month 3: Dating
Month 4: Understanding Men
Month 5: Relationships
Month 6: Commitment
By the time you graduate from Love U, you will make smart, healthy decisions that allow you to get the love you deserve — without further coaching.
6 months? Why is it so long?
Either those 6-week programs are force-feeding you more than you can handle, to the point where you’re stressed out at how fast they’re going…or more likely, they’re really limited in scope. That doesn’t mean they’re bad. It means they are not doing anything nearly as comprehensive as Love U.
Take an amazing program like Calling in the One, which is 7 weeks of healing your past. But despite its considerable merits, it doesn’t tell you what to do NEXT.
- How to gain confidence and enjoy the dating process.
- How to flirt and make cute men take notice.
- How to date online and attract the highest quality guys.
- How to deal with texting and sex and dating multiple people.
- How to be selective and avoid wasting time on losers.
- How to understand men and be the only woman who “gets” him.
- How to have healthy boundaries and assert your needs.
- How to communicate and make men want to please you.
- How to break up when it’s time to move on and cut your losses.
- How to be a great girlfriend that gets a great guy to propose.
That much stuff simply can’t be taught, digested and implemented in 6 weeks.
Love U allows you to learn with very little effort, by breaking this material into digestible weekly chunks. This way, you will never get burned out, and you will be able to put the lessons into practice effectively.
I’ve read all your books. Is this just the same material?
Not even close. My three products are Why He Disappeared, Believe in Love, and Finding the One Online. As of yet, I have no products for dating, understanding men, relationships, sex, commitment, communication, or compatibility. While I’m proud of my first three books, they are merely the tip of the iceberg for what you’ll learn in Love U.
How is this different from your old FOCUS Coaching or Inner Circle programs?
My Inner Circle ran for 7 years and FOCUS ran for 4. The problem with them is that they were too unstructured. In FOCUS, I’d do one call a month on a different topic. In my Inner Circle, there were three calls without any topics. Thus, both groups were entirely dependent on women’s questions — and very often, they didn’t know what to ask. While there was always some valuable coaching, there was no way to walk each woman through the same exact process to ensure her success.
Love U is a comprehensive, interactive, easy system that walks you through everything you need to know about men and dating in just six months, instead of hanging out in FOCUS Coaching for 4 years and hoping to find a topic you liked.
I don’t like the idea of dating online. Is this just about how to find a man online?
Not at all. Love U covers every aspect of love: confidence, meeting men, dating understanding men, commitment, sex, and relationships.
Online dating is just one solitary week of the 26-week Love U curriculum. While I think online dating is a valuable skill to have when creating a love life from scratch; it is not the main thrust of Love U — just another valuable tool to help you get the love you deserve.
Keep in mind that, at a certain age, it’s HARD to meet people in “real life” on any regular basis. You work in a small office. Your friends are coupled up. You live in the suburbs. You don’t go to parties frequently and are rarely set up. So people tend to ask WHERE they should meet men, but that’s really the wrong question. Men are everywhere: what are you doing to make them fall for you each and every day?
1. Register for an online dating site and give it a half hour every day.
2. Learn about confidence and flirting to make the most of every “real life” opportunity. That’s all you can do.
Both of these are taught in the second month of Love U, called “Meeting Men.”
Will this help me create an online profile that attracts the right men?
The sixth week of Love U is specifically about online dating and it describes, in great detail, how to write an effective online dating profile that attracts more men and higher quality men. Regardless of Love U, you may benefit from going to www.e-cyrano.com and getting the Gold package. I have a dozen Evan-trained writers who do INCREDIBLE work in capturing what makes you unique and attracting higher quality guys. But, yes, you don’t need to go outside Love U to learn to create a one-of-a-kind dating profile.
Do you address dating via phone apps?
Here’s my feeling about phone apps – Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, etc: they’re just another way to meet people. They’re convenient and frictionless, meaning, they take no effort whatsoever. Thus, there’s very little skill involved in swiping right and sending a text to meet. Thus, there’s very little to teach on that subject. Love U is about much more than that – confidence, flirting, sex, communication, chemistry, understanding men, etc. So while I don’t directly address in my videos how to use an app – the tools you learn in Love U are relevant whether you meet a guy on Tinder or through a mutual friend. And, as a member of the Love Universe, you can ask questions in the Facebook community or on our weekly coaching calls.
What is your success rate for marriage?
I think it’s perfectly relevant to ask a question about “marriage rates” from a dating and relationship coach. However, that is not a metric by which I – or anyone else – can measure his success. Please allow me to explain a little further.
Put it this way: if a personal trainer helped a 400lb woman lose 150lbs, is she a success or a failure? Well, the woman is STILL 250lbs, but I’d say the trainer was a big success. That’s how Love U works as well. I will never make promises I can’t keep. You’ll never hear me say that 78% of my clients get married in the next 12 months. That’s for a few reasons:
1. I have no control of my clients. All I do is give advice. If I give great advice and it’s not followed, I can’t be held responsible.
2. I can’t keep track of what my clients do after they’re done with me. I may work with you in Love U for six months. But if you’re following my advice, you shouldn’t get married for 2-3 years. Unless you come back to inform me you’re married, I’d have no idea.
3. Progress isn’t only about getting a ring on the finger. A woman who hasn’t dated in 10 years is a success by getting online. A woman who normally stays with abusive men for five years is a success if she dumps a bad guy in 6 weeks. A woman who has a happy relationship but doesn’t want to get married is a success. You see? They’re all steps towards the same ultimate goal – confidence that leads to healthier relationships.
So do I have hundreds of marriages to my credit? Yes. But I measure my success based on whether my clients tell me they’ve learned something valuable and empowering. I’m confident that when you join Love U, you will have the same exact experience.
When can I expect to see results from Love U?
I don’t mean that facetiously. I mean that quite literally.
What I love about Love U is that once you learn something, you never forget it.
So when you dive into our first week and watch those first videos, I am going to bring you back from the depths of despair, reframe your negativity, and give you an instant jolt of confidence that will carry through this entire program and beyond.
Every week, you are going to have some major aha moment that reshapes your perspective on dating, relationships, and men, and before you know it, everyone you know will see a difference: Your friends. Your family. And especially the guy you end up dating.
So while I will never make a promise I can’t keep, I will say this with all sincerity: Nobody has ever worked with me and said, “Man, that guy didn’t know anything. He didn’t care. I didn’t learn a thing that I didn’t already know.”
You are going to gain immeasurably in each and every week, so by the time you graduate you will not have any blind spots when it comes to men and relationships.
In other words, if you don’t have a boyfriend by the time you graduate Love U, the question is not a matter of if — it’s only a matter of when.
I’m a busy woman with lots of previous obligations? How much time is Love U going to take me?
Give me 5 minutes a day and I will give you a husband. I’m not kidding. Each week, there are an average of 25-35 minutes of videos on different relationship topics.
Watch the videos, do a short exercise at the end, and voila — you’re going to have all the tools you need to understand men and find love.
Can you finish these videos in less than 6 months?
Love U is not something that you can knock out in one weekend. There is a very specific reason that this course lasts for six months – and that’s because I want it to WORK.
Watching 20 hours of videos at once like binge watching a TV show isn’t the way I want you to digest this course.
So what you get is an email once a week to notify you about a new half-hour of video content, an email 3 days later highlighting a core concept, and a short exercise to help make these lessons take root.
By making this achievable to even the busiest women (5 minutes a day to understand men and find love!) I believe I offer you the best chance of getting great results – even if you really want to rush through this course as quickly as possible.
Do I have to keep doing this? What happens after 6 months?
You graduate. You get a certificate. You will be a master at men and relationships.
Love U may not be the best business model in the world. It’s just the best program I could possibly create. When you’re done with Love U, you won’t ever need to buy one of my products or anyone else’s products ever again.
You will have a relationship that is easy, that makes you feel safe, heard, and understood, and all the drama and confusion of your past will be a distant memory.
All I want from you when you’re done is an email to tell me how happy you are.
That’s my favorite reward.
Okay, I’m sure you can help me, but what can you guarantee?
I can’t guarantee you a husband or a boyfriend, no more than a personal trainer can guarantee you lose 25 lbs, a therapist can guarantee you become happier, or a recruiter can guarantee you a specific job. I provide an invaluable, one-of-a-kind service — the ability to make smart, healthy relationship choices on your own for the rest of your life.
And that’s what I CAN guarantee — that by the time you graduate Love U later this year, you will feel more confident, more self-aware, and more in control of your own destiny. You will no longer wonder why men do certain things. You will no longer take off years from dating out of fear. You will no longer stay in bad relationships for too long. You will be able to create your own love life from scratch, carry yourself with confidence, and attract a commitment oriented man — if not during the six months of Love U, then inevitably afterwards.
What’s that stuff you mention about the Love U live coaching calls?
While Love U is a video-based curriculum, I’ve discovered that you get the best results when you can ask questions, get support, and have me hold your hand through this process.
26 weeks of live coaching calls with me, where you can ask me your most pressing questions about that week’s video content.
Each call will also be made available for you to download, so you can catch up with anything you miss. Listen to it in the car on your way to work, or even at the gym.
26 weeks in my Love U Community, where you can get assistance from me and hundreds of other smart women.
Combine the videos and exercises with the coaching calls and community and you have a first-class version of Love U.
I don’t think I’ll get anything out of your Love U group coaching calls.
Oh yes, you will.
Whether you speak or not, you will learn immeasurably from the calls and the community.
Unlike private therapy, where a doctor asks you questions that slowly lead to your internal revelation, good coaches don’t work like that. We work much faster.
You want to know what you’re doing wrong and exactly what to say to make it right? I’ll TELL you, point blank, so issues can be resolved in ten minutes on the phone for free, instead of for $225/hr without getting quick resolution.
I’ll be your best guy friend, your cheerleader, your biggest fan and your truth-teller, who reinforces what you’re doing right and kicks your butt if you need it.
And that doesn’t even begin to assess the value of the other women in the community. Read their posts, listen to their questions, for they are asking the exact same things that are going through your mind. In their struggles, you will get a window into your own issues.
It sounds ironic, coming from a guy who likes to hear himself talk, but you don’t learn ANYTHING when your mouth is open. You only learn from listening.
Love U is a great opportunity to get a ton of personal attention AND to listen and learn in a meaningful way.
The exercises. The coaching calls. The community. It just sounds like a lot.
Love U is 26 weeks of videos with 26 weeks of exercises.
Exercises are generally written reflections that will take you no longer than 5 minutes, and they’re designed to reinforce or expand the lessons in the videos. They’re fun and interactive, and I really don’t think you’ll find them a burden.
As for the group coaching calls and the community, remember, what you put into Love U is what you’ll get out of it.
Some women go to the gym and just want to use the treadmills; others use free weights, swimming pools, personal trainers and Zumba classes.
I’m giving you the option of utilizing all of these resources as you see fit; they are not mandatory.
I think you’ll find our weekly coaching calls beneficial — especially since they’re your chance to ask questions and get personal attention from me so that you can feel confident you’re making smart relationship choices every step of the way until you meet your guy.
So while yes, you can easily spend as little as 5 minutes a day in Love U, don’t forget the end game — it’s not to invest as little time as possible; it’s to find lasting love.
I’m a busy woman/I travel for work/I’m in a different time zone. What if I miss a Love U Coaching call?
No big deal. Every call is recorded and uploaded the next day for easy access at your leisure. By the time we’re done, you’ll have 26 hours of audios you can download into your iTunes for safe keeping.
Can I stay in touch with the other participants of Love U when it’s over?
I sure hope so!
Scores of my former clients have gotten together in “real life” — in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Portland, Dallas, Chicago, Washington DC, and London.
In fact, a bunch of 2015 Love U graduates are gathering for a Love U wedding in Australia later this year. I will not be able to attend because of myown anniversary, but I’m excited to see photos of FIVE different Love U couples all in the same place at the same time.
Nothing would make me happier than getting photos of you and your boyfriend/fiance/husband in 2019…
Do I get any one-on-one time with you in Love U, Evan?
You’re going to be on the phone with me for 26 weeks of group coaching sessions during which you have an opportunity to get personal coaching (generally 5-10 minutes per question) from me. While I can’t promise that I answer your question every single week, even if I don’t, chances are, someone else has a similar question from which you can learn. Same goes for the Love U Community, where you can share day-to-day details of your dating experiences. I can’t promise I’ll respond to every single post, but I will be responding regularly, since Love U is my ONLY coaching program and I want to give you the most attention and the best results before you graduate.
Oh, and if you apply to Love U RIGHT THIS SECOND, you may get in on my final Love U Launch Bonus: 2 marathon coaching sessions for the first 100 women to register
I have a bad picker. Will Love U help me?
Yep. In fact, it’s the primary purpose of the program. My belief is that you are wonderful the way you are. It doesn’t mean you can’t stand to learn things like how to write a great profile, how to flirt, and how to communicate effectively with men. But it does mean that the primary reason you have struggled in love isn’t YOU, but rather, your choice of men. When you graduate from Love U, you will quickly be able to weed out the time-wasters and identify the keepers.
I’m in a relationship. Will Love U help me?
Yes. The first month on Confidence is extremely important, because if you don’t have confidence, it’s hard to make healthy relationship choices. And the last three months are exclusively focused on relationships: Understanding Men, Relationships, and Commitment.
Furthermore, apart from the week about online dating, you’ll be pleasantly surprised how relevant a lot of this dating stuff is to your relationships. Confidence matters. Past Baggage matters. Flirting matters. Courtship matters. And if, for god knows what reason, your relationship doesn’t work out, you have the dating tools to get back out there quickly. Not to mention, in three months, you’ll get access to all the relationship videos/exercises, which is exactly what you need right now.
Many women came to Love U with boyfriends and either strengthened their relationships or learned that they needed to dump their boyfriends and find new ones.
Knowledge is power.
I’m an older woman. Will Love U help me?
I know there are different challenges for a 60-year-old woman than a 35-year-old woman. But believe me when I tell you that 95% of dating and relationship advice is the exact same. We’re talking about men and women. Dating and relationship dynamics. Communication. Commitment. Confidence. Self-awareness.
You need to understand all of those things — at any age — if you’re going to succeed.
I have helped many women in their late 50’s through mid-70’s find husbands, and I have no doubt that if you have a particular question that is not covered by the videos, I will be able to answer it on our weekly group coaching calls or in the Inner Circle Community that I will be moderating daily.
I’m an Asian / Hispanic / African-American / Indian / Persian / Christian / Jewish woman. Will this help me?
My belief is this: 95% of all relationship dynamics are universal – in other words, they are relevant regardless of age, color or religion. This is not to say that 20 year olds and 60 year olds are the exact same or that African American women and Caucasian women are the same. It’s only to point out that most of what determines relationship success is not based on the 5% – it’s based on confidence, self-awareness, healthy communication skills, boundaries, optimism, warmth, and being able to assess your partner’s compatibility in the long run based on what’s important in a partner. Thus, I don’t have specific modules for blacks vs Asians vs. Hispanics – that would be impossible. I have, however, successfully helped women of all ages, colors, and religions understand men and find love since 2003.
Then where are their pictures? I see a lot of white women on your site.
I bill myself as a coach for smart, strong, successful women and I can’t help who hires me. I will say, however, two things:
1. I get a lot of clients from cultures with parents who frown upon dating, and I have proven to shorten their learning curves due to their relative inexperience.
2. I have a LOT of clients who are simply too shy, private, or embarrassed to put up their face on my site. For every face you see on my website, there are probably 50 who have written me emails thanking me for helping them find love.
I have experienced abuse and PTSD due to childhood trauma. Will Love U help me?
Love U does not treat abuse and PTSD directly. This is a comprehensive and easy video curriculum that tells you how to gain confidence, set boundaries, date and navigate relationships with joy and ease. I do think you can benefit from it, but your condition may require therapy that goes above what Love U provides in its videos.
The way I see it: no matter who you are and what your baggage, it’s my job to help you make the most of what you’ve got. So have I helped other women who dealt with abuse fall in love and get married? Absolutely. Do I have anything in the course specifically targeted to abuse survivors? No, I do not.
What if I sign up but don’t have very many dating options in my small town?
Love U is a base of knowledge. Nothing more, nothing less. By joining now, you get lifetime access to this material whenever you see fit. Confidence, Meeting Men, Dating, Understanding Men, Relationships, Commitment. Is it more relevant if you’re actively dating? Possibly. But since neither you nor I is going to pick up and move tomorrow, all we can do is make the best of your current circumstances. Listen, I helped a woman in the Yukon (population 1) find a man from Minnesota on Match who moved up to be with her. So I don’t think anything is impossible if you’re serious about finding love.
Ultimately, your success is more about how you use Love U than it is about the number of men in your small town.
In other words, somebody gets happily married in your local area. Why shouldn’t it be you?
Can Love U help me get my ex-boyfriend back?
Love U is a comprehensive program that spends the entire first month on Confidence. And, not to give away the ending, but the goal of this portion of the course is to allow you to let go of your ex-boyfriend. Not change him. Not get him back. Not to fix his problems and make him treat you better. But to cut him loose, wish him well, and move on to a relationship that is simply healthier and easier.
So can Love U “help get your ex-boyfriend back?” No. But I hope it can convince you that you don’t WANT your ex-boyfriend back.
What Love U WILL do is help you heal, grow, and find both a better man and a better long-term fit for your life.
I don’t need this. The real problem is that I just haven’t met the right guy.
Maybe you haven’t met the right guy. But, I’d maintain that it’s entirely possible that you wouldn’t even know Mr. Right if you saw him. I know it sounds ludicrous, but if every guy you thought was Mr. Right has turned out to be Mr. Wrong, perhaps your picker is a little bit off.
I’m not putting you down — for 35 years, I also invested my energies in the wrong women and was blind to what was truly important.
In other words, I came this close to passing up my own wife. So isn’t it possible that, like me, if you’re single, you’ve been choosing the wrong men? I think so.
To view it from another perspective, do you have any girlfriends who you could tell me EXACTLY why they’re still single? But as a close friend, your job is to be supportive, not critical, right? Well, your close friends probably have a good idea about what you could be doing wrong, but they would never tell you.
I don’t have that problem. Love U tells you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
The education you get in Love U will set you free and completely change the way you choose your partner in the future.
And remember: it is a choice.
You don’t have to change your personality to find love. You do have to choose better men than you’ve chosen in the past. I will help you do that.
As your dating coach, I’ll hold you accountable, show you a uniquely male perspective and give you access to other women on the same journey as you. In other words, if you’ve been frustrated with men your entire life, I will not let you fail. Your success IS my success. That’s why you invest in coaching.
I already understand men.
It’s easy to think that you already understand men based on all of your life experience. But I’d ask you to reframe this in another way:
Do you think that most men really, truly, understand YOU?
Of course not!
So why do you think that you really, truly understand the motives of men?
I have no doubt that there are plenty of instances that you did know exactly what happened. He was a cheater. He was a player. He was a commitmentphobe. He was emotionally unavailable. Those guys are the worst and there’s nothing either of us can do to wish them away. You can’t make cheaters stay faithful. You can’t force a commitmentphobe to commit. You can’t open up an emotionally unavailable guy to the beauty of vulnerability and trust. There’s literally NOTHING to learn when it’s entirely the guy’s fault and he’s too messed up to be in a healthy relationship.
What you CAN learn in Love U is why the GOOD guys might disappear — the ones you WANT to keep. As a man, it’s my job to let you know what we’re REALLY thinking — even when it’s not pretty.
Not only will you be surprised at what you learn, but you’ll be empowered to connect with men in a way that few women EVER do.
The problem isn’t me. It’s MEN!
I’m not, for one second, defending men who have mistreated you in any way. I’m not defending guys who sleep with you once and never call again. I’m not defending guys who only communicate by text message and booty call. I’m not defending guys who string you along for five years without proposing. I’m pointing out that those men will ALWAYS exist, no matter what I say or do.
The reason you should apply to Love U is to learn how to identify these men and break away from them BEFORE they do their damage.
Once you avoid the unhealthiest of men, the NEXT question is how to make the healthy ones — the millions of men who DO want to get married — choose to stick around.
I don’t want a husband. I just want to get better at dating and maybe find a boyfriend.
Great. It’s a much lower bar to jump and therefore, much easier to help you. The first four months, in particular, will be of great value to you: Confidence, Meeting Men, Dating, and Understanding Men.
It’s not the right time for me. I’m not in the right emotional place to think about dating.
I completely understand how you feel. I’ve been there personally and I’ve coached thousands of women who were equally burned out on men, dating and relationships.
We definitely agree that there’s no one way to rebound from a break-up. There’s no set amount of time one should take a breather from men. There’s no one perfect way to get to the other side of your negativity and start your quest anew.
Just know that the first month of Love U is all about healing. “Why Bother Syndrome,” “Past Baggage,” “Confidence,” and “Take Action” are the first four weeks…
So it’s certainly not my place to tell you that you’re ready to date yet. You have to take care of yourself emotionally. But please remember two things:
1. Just because Love U is a six-month course doesn’t mean you have to use it all in six months. You can pace yourself as you see fit. Need to take a two-month breather? You can always go back to watch the videos later. You have LIFETIME access to this stuff.
2. Love U isn’t going to be offered again until spring of next year and it may not be at the same price. So you can take six months to heal if you want. The question is whether you need that much time to delay the inevitable and get back out there.
As John Lennon said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” So sure, you can put off this incredible opportunity to attract and connect with a quality man. But why would you?
I’m happier and more confident now than I’ve ever been in my life. Why should I take your course?
If you are satisfied with the status quo, don’t join Love U.
If you feel really confident that you understand men, don’t join Love U.
If you feel you can effortlessly navigate online dating, texting, sex, dating multiple men, and create and maintain a lasting loving connection, don’t join Love U.
Personally, I’d be shocked if someone who hasn’t hasn’t experienced a healthy, easy relationship would know to do all of this on her own, but if you are that rare woman, more power to you.
If you want to spare yourself a lot of frustration, confusion and heartbreak, this incredible opportunity to apply to see if Love U is a great fit for you.
What’s the point? Nothing I do ever works!
Because, after going thru Love U, you will never again make ANY of the same mistakes you’ve made in the past.
Listen, no man is perfect, much less perfect for you. But if you can stop investing your time in selfish heartbreakers and start investing your time in kind men with strong character who believe in commitment, you can manifest that relationship you’ve always wanted. But it all starts with you.
- Being more proactive in love.
- Opening up to more men.
- Opening up to different men.
- Understanding how men think.
- Making compromises for him the way he has to compromise for you.
- Understanding how to find the right man to fit your personality.
If you’ve been dating the same guys over and over, maybe it’s time to choose a different one.
The reason to invest in Love U is because you’re ready to break from the pain and confusion of the past and create a new relationship with men and dating.
You’re done dating the same frustrating, emotionally stunted losers.
You want to learn how to make the winners stick around.
Perhaps the best thing about Love U is that I’m not just offering you an eBook and telling you to go at it yourself.
I’m giving you 30 minutes of video coaching per week.
I’m giving you a short exercise every week.
I’m giving you a live coaching session every week.
I’m giving you access to a private online forum to ask questions every day.
I’m giving you a path that all but guarantees success.
The only question is whether you really want success or whether you’d rather stay exactly where you are right now.