I know it should seem obvious but the fact that I recorded a podcast about it means that plenty of women still find married men alluring. In this episode, we’ll talk about why married men are often more romantic than single men AND 4 reasons why it absolutely doesn’t matter and you should run far, far away from any married guy who shows interest in you.
How to Balance an Anxious/Avoidant Attachment Style
If you didn’t have a healthy nuclear family with loving married parents, its likely that you formed an attachment style that is either anxious or avoidant. But what happens when your anxiety turns into avoidance, and your avoidance turns into anxiety? This is something I see with women in Love U and a phenomenon that I felt was worth airing in today’s episode. Your past doesn’t have to predict your future; it just takes strength to make different choices with men.
Why Dating Is Different As You Get Older
My readers often ask me to create specific programs for them. “Why can’t you create something for women in their 60’s who are facing a smaller dating pool with men who are retired, widowed, unhealthy and dealing with erectile dysfunction?” The answer is that despite the unique challenges facing women of different ages, 95% of dating and relationship advice is universal. It’s about confidence, communication, boundaries, beliefs, and the skill of learning to be more effective in dating. But, as a man of the people, I’ve listened to you and put together this podcast highlighting the unique challenges of dating in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s. l hope this means I don’t have to create an entirely new program.
Are You Trying to Change Him?
You know the narrative. Men suck. There are no good ones left. They’re all narcissists or losers or emotionally unavailable. The cute ones don’t want to settle down. The ones who want to settle down aren’t attractive. When you finally find one you like, the compromises are too great. I’m not here to argue with you. What I will say, as a happily married dating coach, is that you have two choices: accept him as he is or dump him. What you can’t do is stay in a relationship with a man who you’re constantly criticizing and wanting to change. My take: if you can find one man on Earth you can fully accept, you’ll both be happy for the rest of your life.
Should You Be Happy Alone?
My smart, successful clients have all loved and lost. Yet they recovered to rebuild their lives and fill it with meaningful work, travel, hobbies and friendship. Today’s question is whether this is enough. Is being happy alone a condition for finding love or is a trap that allows you to stay alone indefinitely? What’s the benefit of lasting love when being single is better than being in a bad relationship? In this Love U Podcast, I do my best to explain.
Men Are About Feelings
While it’s easy to get mad at guys who overvalue youth and beauty, the truth is that you need more than looks to be with a quality man. In fact, quality men are all about how you make them FEEL. If your default behavior in relationships is to feel anxious and critical of your partner, it’s time to choose better men and make a big shift in how you show up. It’s a challenging concept but one that is very much worth your while. Plus, I tear up when I read a Valentine’s Day card from my wife, so that’s always fun.
3 Steps to Determine If He Gets a Second Date
When you’ve had bad luck with men, it’s easy to question your judgment. How important is chemistry? When can you tell if there’s compatibiity? How much time should you invest to discover if there’s enough of both? Most women waste years on the wrong men – and have no idea what to do differently. Today, I’m going to give you a three step process to determine if a man deserves another date, and why it’s essential to cut him off quickly if he doesn’t.
Everyone is Someone’s Second Choice
Don Miguel Ruiz wrote The Four Agreements. One of them is “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” Nowhere is that more relevant than in the world of dating. Texting, hooking up, ghosting, breadcrumbing, endless amounts of rejection. And yet none of it is personal. No one is out to get you. You’re just collateral damage in someone else’s journey. To succeed in dating, you need a strong ego – and you also have to know when to put it aside. If you’ve ever been offended that a guy you barely dated returns after a layoff, it’s time to let that shit go and get happy.
A Thought Experiment To Help You Persevere In Dating
No one wants to become a dating expert. No one wants to go on 300 dates. No one wants to renew their Match membership. Yet, in order to find someone special, there is nothing more valuable than the power of perseverence. If you are one of the many people who have been dating online, on and off, for many years, I’m going to make a case for why you should never be off. You may be missing out on your soulmate.
I Was Wrong
After 20 years of coaching, 1000 blog posts, 300 podcasts, I was bound to make some mistakes. We’re all human. We all have biases. We all have blind spots. On this episode, I’m going to share a few ways in which I’ve evolved over time and make a case for how it’s important to know the rules before you make exceptions to the rules.
