Tags: date online, how to find a man, online dating advice
A friend forwarded me an article about looks on the dating site OkCupid.com. It blew my mind.
Okay, maybe it didn’t blow my mind, but it did validate everything that I’ve ever said about online dating. I’m going to do my best to summarize– and explain what you can learn from it. According to this article…
1) Men have a very fair assessment of women’s overall attractiveness. This doesn’t mean that they’re not shallow (they are), but rather, that they are consistent and reasonable in terms of “rating” women’s looks.
Like in a normal bell curve, 5% of the women were found to be the least attractive and 5% were found to be the most attractive, with most women falling in the middle 90%.
It’s women, not men, who have unrealistic standards for the “average” member of the opposite sex.
2) Women, on the other hand, rate 80% of men as below average.
Let me repeat: It’s women, not men, who have unrealistic standards for the “average” member of the opposite sex.
After coaching women for many years, I already suspected this, but this was a stark realization when you see just how few men you even find to be average looking.
3) This doesn’t let men off the hook at all. OkCupid reports that the most attractive women still receive 5X more email than average women and 28X more email than unattractive women. Literally 2/3 of male messages go to the best looking 1/3 of women.
As OkCupid observed, the medical term for this is “male pattern madness”.
4) Women engage in similar behavioral patterns, just not as extreme. The most attractive men get 11X more than unattractive men.
To sum up, women find most men ugly, but write to them anyway. Men find most women reasonably attractive but spend their time writing only to the hottest ones.
Yep, that sounds about right.
As for how this affects YOUR online dating experience?