Do Women Trade On Their Looks To Get Men With Money?

Do Women Trade On Their Looks To Get Men With Money

Rich men, beautiful women. It’s sort of a cliche, right? Ugly old man, young blonde gold digger. The Millionaire Matchmaker. Men make money to get hot women. Women try to look hot to land men with money. What is there to argue with?

Evidently, quite a lot. A really interesting article by James Hamblin in the Atlantic goes deeper. Yes, “physical attractiveness is exquisitely, at times incomparably, important to both men and women. Status (however you want to measure it: income, formal education, etcetera) is often not far behind. In real-life dating studies, which get closer to genuine intentions, physical attractiveness and earning potential strongly predict romantic attraction…On these “consensually-ranked” traits, people seem to aspire to partners who rank more highly than themselves. They don’t want a match so much as a jackpot.”

Men make money to get hot women. Women try to look hot to land men with money.

But there’s a caveat, according to a study by Notre Dame professor, Elizabeth McClintock.

“Women spend a lot more time trying to look good than men do,” McClintock said. “That creates a lot of mess in this data. If you don’t take that into account then you actually see there’s a lot of these guys who are partnered with women who are better looking than them, which is just because, on average, women are better looking. Men are partnering ‘up’ in attractiveness. And men earn more than women—we’ve got that 70-percent wage gap—so women marry ‘up’ in income. You’ve got to take these things into account before concluding that women are trading beauty for money.”

It’s subtle but we’re talking about a controlled study here – and McClintock concludes that it’s a fallacy to suggest that dating is a straight-up trade of looks for money. “Rather, hearteningly, people really are looking for … compatibility and companionship. Finding those things is driven by matching one’s strengths with a partner who’s similarly endowed, rather than trying to barter kindness for hotness, humor for conscientiousness, cultural savvy for handyman-ship, or graduate degrees for marketable skills.”

Most men don’t want to be sugar daddies, most women don’t want to be gold diggers, and, as a result, the vast majority of us are not.

The fact is, reports McClintock, women value men’s attractiveness just as much their wallets. And men value women’s kindness and personality just as much as their looks. To suggest otherwise diminishes what happens in genuine happy marriages, which are based on much more than a mercenary exchange for looks and money.

Most men don’t want to be sugar daddies, most women don’t want to be gold diggers, and, as a result, the vast majority of us are not.

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Comments:

  1. 1
    Tracy L.

    When most women are referring to high status/sough-after men, they usually if not always mean very good-looking/handsome AND wealthy/rich/famous.

    Rich men minus good looks don’t have beautiful women lining up to sleep with them. 

    1. 1.1
      JD in LA

      George Soros, Rupert Murdoch, Huge Hefner, J. Howard Marshall ….. Need more?

      1. 1.1.1
        Tracy L.

        Okay.  However, these men only seem to attract beautiful gold-diggers not beautiful high quality women who actually find them sexually desirable and love them. 

        Rather sad, in my opinion.

    2. 1.2
      Stacy

      Tracy,

      I would have to disagree. I see unattractive but rich men all the time and 9.5 times out of 10, there wives are HOT (and most times, thin). This also happens in the media constantly. You will rarely see it the other way around. No man is lining up for Whoopi Goldberg but look at Donald Trump.

        

      1. 1.2.1
        Tracy L.

        In my comment, I stated that they are often with BEAUTIFUL gold diggers. I doubt those women get really excited at bedtime. However, I’m sure there is some young hot pool boy, limo driver or landscaper always around for them to actually get excited about. 

        1. marymary

          Or they look sexy without actually liking sex v much. 
          It’s such a vanishingly small percentage of men this rich, most of us will have to make do with less wealthy men who are younger and fitter. Oh well.

  2. 2
    Stevo

    This is what stood out for me: “The fact is, reports McClintock, women value men’s attractiveness just as much their wallets. And men value women’s kindness and personality just as much as their looks“. 

  3. 3
    Garret

    <em>“Women spend a lot more time trying to look good than men do,” McClintock said. “That creates a lot of mess in this data. If you don’t take that into account then you actually see there’s a lot of these guys who are partnered with women who are better looking than them, which is just because, on average, women are better looking. </em>
     
    That’s total BS.  The truth is, yes women do try harder to look good, mostly by putting on make-up.  Just yesterday, I knocked on the door of a girl in my building.  I thought she was very cute.  I had something I had to talk to her about, so I knocked on her door.  She opened the door, no make-up.  I was like, “Sheesh, where did the cute girl go?”  Really,, it was like that.  Not only was she not just even average, she just wasn’t good looking at all.
     
    Women have learned how to use make-up so well that they can actually camouflage many things that are not flattering.   This has been going on for years, and a famous Roman was once quoted as saying that his wife’s face did not sleep with him at night, it slept in jars.

    1. 3.1
      SparklingEmerald

      So what do you suggest ?  That women NEVER wear make up as sort of “truth in packaging ?”  Or that we ALWAYS wear make up, so no one ever has to look at the “unflattering” things about us ?
      Should we also dispense with shaving our legs, washing our hair ( & covering our grays) and wearing deodorant ?   All those things camouflage unflattering textures and smells.
       

    2. 3.2
      Stacy

      Oops Garett, I actually saw your reply AFTER I made mine where I was asking for you.lol

      The truth of the matter is, whether an illusion or not, women tend to invest in being better looking and they invest in being in better shape overall because the way a woman tends to predict what quality of man she can get and not the other way around.  Again, look in the media.  Unattractive men with money and their wives are always hot!

      1. 3.2.1
        Stacy

        “the way a woman looks tend to predict…”

    3. 3.3
      Malcolm

      Well, this is one of those profound, consensus consciousness illusions that never fails to amaze me.
      I contend that if you actually LOOK at most Women when they’re wearing makeup (rather than being caught in the psychological associations that their makeup triggers) . . . you find they aren’t really good looking at all.
       It’s a massive illusion.
      The flip side of this kind of looking . . . is that you can learn to see when a Woman really IS good looking, because a healthy, happy, and generous personality invariably manifests in physical appearance and movement.
      But you have to get over the “good looking” nonsense . . . to have any opportunity to see that (if in fact it’s there . . .). 
      This is advice for Men.  I’ll not venture what the consequences of these facts . . . might be for Women.  But I’ll bet they’re not trivial.

  4. 4
    Julia

    I value my boyfriend first and foremost because he is my best friend. There is no one who makes me smile/laugh/feel comforted more than him. He is incredibly kind and affectionate. It doesn’t hurt that I think he’s handsome as hell. I think we are pretty compatible and we both feel like we are dating up.

    1. 4.1
      SparklingEmerald

      This post made me smile !  :)  This is the BEST type of relationship AFIC, one where BOTH partners feel like they’ve won the prize.  All this yammering about who’s the prize to be sought, who has more SMV, who has the upper hand, yadda, yadda, yadda.
      How about instead of each person insisting on “being the prize” we start regarding LOVE as the prize that a man and a woman as a TEAM, seek together ?  How about a win-win ?  How about instead of both people trying to gain the “upper hand” you have 2 little love birds walking hand in hand ?
      How about instead of debating which is more important, chemistry or comfort, let’s just admit that it takes BOTH !  If the chemistry isn’t there, (to any degree) no amount of kindness will make a difference.  If someone is mean and nasty, they could be Miss Universe or a Rock Star and it would make no difference.
       
      SE aka FJ

  5. 5
    Noquay

    Nowadays, not only do we older chix have to look good we also better have a certain degree of status, money, etc. A good many men also skate by on their looks. Yep, women want to be attracted to their partners; actually tis nearly impossible for a woman to be physical with someone she isn’t attracted to.
    There is zero relationship between looks, status, education , and kindness, functionality, etc which are attributes that, unlike looks, manifest themselves or dont, over time. Good looking folk can be kind, some unattractive folk are downright vicious. Folk with PhDs may be great with power tools whereas some uneducated folk can barely use a screwdriver. Julia put it well, folks should complement one another, it SHOULD feel as though both parties are “dating up”. If not, you don’t belong together, period.

  6. 6
    Jenn

    I have to admit that I do look for a guy who makes a good living, mostly because it shows me that he has goals and is willing to put in hard work to achieve them. That tells me that he is likely to continue to work hard providing for his family and that is a very attractive trait. I’m not so concerned with the actual dollar amount though. In fact, I shy away from guys who make too much money because I worry that their expectations might be too high. I have to admit that even at 33 and with my considerable imperfections, I still fit the stereotypical buxom blonde, hourglass figure “trophy” type that many older, moneyed guys seem to like. I hate the idea of being someone’s arm candy though, so on principle I usually stick to guys who make a more modest income.

  7. 7
    Sunflower

    Why can’t people just be themselves and quit playing all these stupid games?  It isn’t sincere and it doesn’t last.  There’s nothing wrong in taking pride in your appearance, but to do it as a marketing ploy to attract certain status of men or women, what you put out is what you get back. 

  8. 8
    Stacy

    I hope Garret is reading this forum. NOW do you believe me when I say that women tend to outweigh men in the looks department?

    In any event, the clearly unattractive rich man with the hot woman  knows he would not be able to get her if he wasn’t rich.  However, he is getting what he wants and it’s a trade off, and he knows it – nothing deceptive about that.

    And of course women are attracted to men who have jobs, and if those jobs make a higher income, then it is a selling point. Women are naturally attracted to powerful men as well just as men are attracted to beautiful women naturally.  Nothing wrong with that.  However, there are many other qualities we also find attractive. I think you enter the gold digging arena when the gold is the most important thing and damn his qualities.    However, I hardly feel sorry for men with gold diggers because it IS obvious when a woman is a gold digger but he decides to put up with it for the sake of beauty.

  9. 9
    Stacy

    According to livescience.com

    “Women seeking a lifelong mate might do well to choose the guy a notch below them in the looks category. New research reveals couples in which the wife is better looking than her husband are more positive and supportive than other match-ups.
    The reason, researchers suspect, is that men place great value on beauty, whereas women are more interested in having a supportive husband.   ”

    ——————————————————————————————————
    Not sure if I can post the link here but I will be more than happy to.    

  10. 10
    N

    I dated a neuro-surgeon 16 years my senior; 6 in looks, 8 in chemistry, 7 compatibility. I broke up with him after 6 months due to his temper, control issues; narcissism in a nutshell. Lavish gifts, spontaneous trips and all that jazz were great. However, his true character undermine his social status and earning power. 

    I am now dating a man my age; 9 in looks, 9 chemistry, 10 compatibility.  Albeit, I make slightly more money than him, we treat each other as equal. He is a very nice man with an edge. And that is what I need.

    1. 10.1
      Stacy

      N,

      You have found the holy grail.  You are a lucky girl!  

  11. 11
    Joe

    on average, women are better looking.

    What does this even mean?  The only way I can see this make any sense is because women are more likely to use makeup.

    Men and women are good looking in different ways.  A man who’s a 5 and a woman who’s a 5 should be equally good looking.  The only way to raise the average is that women use makeup to hide some things or enhance others.  So a woman who’s a 5 temporarily becomes a 6.  That’s the only way “on average” that women can be better looking.

  12. 12
    rcb

    Like the woman said, if most women are unattractive without make-up. how come they still go after attractive men, while they could be honest with themselves and just date the average guy and be a lot happier. 

  13. 13
    Poster15567

    The fact is, reports McClintock, women value men’s attractiveness just as much their wallets. And men value women’s kindness and personality just as much as their looks“.
     
    so that study show its actually men who place more importance on the human being, e.g. kindness and personality while women are only interested in money and status.

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