What Do Guys In Their 20’s Want With Women In Their 40’s?

I am in my mid-forties and I have been online dating off and on for about 2½ years and dating in general for 4 years. I am a year and a half out of a relationship and in that time, I have found only one guy I was interested in but he did the vanishing act. I have probably more dates than the average woman and I just can’t seem to find a guy I want to date. I am often told I am beautiful and I look about 10 years younger than I my age. I get contacted by a fair number of guys in their 20’s and most I don’t respond to because I just feel it won’t go anywhere. Recently, however, I was contacted by a guy in his mid-twenties and I was impressed by his profile…he’s mature, intelligent, articulate and attractive. I started up a correspondence with him. I was curious. But I still feel that maybe it’s a mistake…what do I really have in common with this guy? After all, I am twenty years older than he is. 

In your opinion, what do guys in their twenties really expect and/or want when contacting an older woman?  The youngest guy I have ever been out with is 33. 

Thanks for your insight. I really enjoy reading your blog and I feel that of many so-called dating experts that you are right on!

Carla

Thanks, Coug–, uh Carla. As a so-called dating expert, I really appreciate the kind words!

Which is why I’m sure you’re going to be completely receptive to this:

You’re wasting your time with this kid.

Okay, that’s not fair. Let me use more words to say it:

If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you’re most likely wasting your time with this kid. However, if you’re looking for good, clean (and not-so-clean) fun with a young stallion, you can have an amazing time. In fact, I would encourage you to do so. And take lots of pictures.

If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you’re most likely wasting your time with this kid. However, if you’re looking for good, clean (and not-so-clean) fun with a young stallion, you can have an amazing time.

See, I’m not here to set the rules for society. I’m here to observe society and report back to you how things USUALLY work out. And for every Demi and Ashton (Celebrities, They’re Just Like Us!), there are thousands of other instances of cross-generational relationships that die a quick, painless death. Why? Because he was born in the 80’s, right about the time that you were losing your virginity in college. Because he’s been in the workforce for oh, about four years. Because he may be a great communicator, mature for his age, and relationship minded, but he’s also, y’know, a BABY.

You know how I know this? Because I’M that guy. I’ve ALWAYS loved older women. I was with a 35 year old woman when I was 20. I used to flirt with my mom’s friends. And when all my friends would make fun of me and say, “Why would you date an older woman when you could date a younger woman?”, I’d say, “Why would you date a younger woman when you can date an older woman?”. … As far as I’m concerned, every woman is better at 28 than at 23, better at 33 than at 28, and so on. Now, there is a flaw in this system – the biological clock – which is much worse at 38 than at 23. This is a valid concern to men looking to have families, so let’s not overlook it. But still, I’m a big proponent of life experience and wisdom. Older women are AWESOME in this guy’s book.

So even if this young man’s interest in you is completely pure, even if he wants to have a real relationship with you, you guys are most likely doomed. If he wants to have kids. Or go clubbing at night. Or switch careers a few more times. Or do normal things like twentysomethings do. You’re at the home buying, 401K saving, family planning phase of life – for MOST 46-year-olds. Hey, if you still have the juice to hang with kids, go crazy.

There’s a very good reason that you don’t see many 25 year old men with 45 year old women.

It just seems far more likely that a) he’s bragging to his friends that he might get to sleep with a woman 20 years older than himself, or b) you guys really might be compatible if only he were significantly older or you were significantly younger. But he’s not. And you’re not. Put another way, there’s a very good reason that you don’t see many 25 year old men with 45 year old women.

A caveat which I must acknowledge: if neither of you desires children, then you have a far better chance. But presuming he does, if I were you, Carla, I’d probably have some fun. Go in with your eyes open and appreciate the experience for what it is – a dalliance with the youthful exuberance of your past. Enjoy it while it lasts.

 

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Comments:

  1. 61
    starthrower68

    And if I’m really honest, I can’t contemplate what a 24-year-old who is very easily a 10 wants with a 41-year-old woman who is overweight (though I’ve lost 15 lbs on Weight Watchers), and if any of my friends or family found out I was involved with this kid, I’d be mortified, and I know that as soon as one of us became bored, it would be done with.

  2. 62
    Kurt

    I am a 28 year old single dad with a four year old son and I have had 5 years of life experience as a dad and 10 years working experience as a teacher. I like to work out and keep fit and have fun without the whole getting drunk scene.
    I have always been attracted to women my age, a bit younger and as much as twenty years older so long as they were youthful in personality, sexy and liked to keep fit.
    I think I connect with them mentally because I have already gone through what a lot of other men only start going through in their thirties and forties.
    It is true that women who are older have learned from past relationships, are very appreciative of the compliments, affection and love that you show them. The ones that I am attracted to have lively sexy personalities so there is so much to be had.
    You older women who want to have fun should so and see where it leads. You can’t even be sure where a relationship will take you when you are the same age so just enjoy the ride and see if it lasts. If it doesn’t then at least it is an enjoyable experience. I wouldn’t mind marrying a women older than me but considering that I am 28 I would probably only marry someone who is in their mid forties at the oldest because I would have to be realistic as far as if we wanted to have kids together.
    I would like to have four kids and I already have one so I wouldn’t mind including previous or adopting or making some together.
    In any case, older women who are youthful and fit make for appreciative, sexy, passionate, appreciative partners so long as you also connect mentally it will last.
    Happy cub hunting to those sexy cougars out there!

  3. 63
    Jim

    sorry, i met my wife when i was 24 and she was 42. that was 18 years ago and i have to say it has been the best life i could ask for. It was depends on what you want. i wanted some body with their crap toghther and after 4 years in the Navy, playing the field was realy old. all the girls my age justed wanted to play head games and party. I wanted a life, and i got one. so while MOST guys are out for a good time, not all. Just be sure to figurer out which is which.

  4. 64
    OMG!

    Maura #53,
    R U NUTS? He keeps calling but you don’t want 2 go out? And why not? Tell me something-if a totally sexy 24 yr. old called a 51 yr. old man for an innocent date, do you think the guy would hesitate and say no? It’s because you have been conditioned by society to believe (possibly) that all women shpuld date older men ALL the time. That’s great for older men but not so much for women. So if a sexy 24 yr. old wants to contact U, I say…Go out like that, to use your words. Good luck! Keep us posted! ttfn

  5. 65
    Ann

    I get hit on all the time by younger guys (49 tomorrow). I have been out with some too. I do have criteria in order for these guys to date me and have found it is best to be upfront with expectations. For me, it is an outlet and also fun to “date” younger guys.  I know and they know that it is not going anywhere and they all know I am looking for a long term relationship with a “mature” guy while we are going out. Kinda takes the pressure off, you can just slow down and take your time finding the right person.  I am upfront that when I do find someone that is “commitment material” I am history! Right? Wrong? You do what works! What is the difference with dating someone you think is serious and then having sex with them and them leaving.  :) This way you are holding the cards and there is power in that!
     
     

  6. 66
    ONE OL' LADY

    I am a 38 year old woman.  I have been with my 21 year old “BOYFRIEND” for almost five months now.  Its such a great feeling to actually have a  boyfriend who cares about me and to love me the way i want to be loved.  Since i was about 15 i have dreamed of the PERFECT MAN for ME!  After my first and only husband ,the father of my first son, who abused me physically,verbally, and emotionally for almost 10 years , my self esteem was very low. Leaving him at 25 ,i certainly thought who would want me?Well five years later i had my second son at 30 with another abusive man. He diD not  last in my world. I became OK WITH ME and did not need a man to dictate to me and  abuse me. I deserved more than that and knew that.  5 years after I had my third son and that BABYDADDY did not work out either!  So even though I tried to give space in between  and stayed within my own age group this is what I had to deal with?  No way .  So to make my long story end I really know in my heart and soul that my 21 year old boyfriend is in my life for as long as my life may last.  My boys are my main priority and they fell in love with him first and their dads are not involved in their life.  So why should i deprive them either.  I take it day by day thankful for the companionship of a Best friend,A LEARNING FATHER to my kids, and a lover who knows what he wants, as well as, what WE as a family need! JUS kEEPIN IT REAL

  7. 67
    Kim

    Hi Evan, I just wanna know if you ever help people contact one another? Because Kurt, from comment # 63 sounds like my type. I was surfing the web just looking for some answers and came across this site. Felt like it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

  8. 68
    happy

    I am 70, he is 49. We have been together for 30 years. Laughter is good medicine. Lighten up and keep things simple. No drama!!!

  9. 69
    Catherine

    I am age 50. This topic is my strongest. I enjoyed reading about the more successful age gap couples. I truly beleive that there are men in their mid twenties who are considered real men, other than kids. I follow lately what was best for me, and followed my heart. I left an abusive marriage to a man 7 years younger. During my separation, when I was 34, met and had a year long relationship with a man my own age range. He was dysfunctional, finacially and emotionally unstable, who also had jail time for beating a girlfriend. He borrowed money from me because he had a low paying job. I was shocked after he ended a security shift on a porn shoot that he was one of several who “banged” the actress; and on top of this he was Christian? I said my goodbyes!
    I had tried online dating within a 10 to 15 year age gap, about 35 to 40 with no responses to my emails . The men winked or viewed were over 56 to 70. I know of an intergenerational dating expert who sees the majority of younger men wanting to bond for certain reasons other that sex or money with a mature woman who enjoys being treated well. I am much more fit and attractive and more confident than I was when I was in my 30’s. I get approached alot more by younger men. I just have to weed out the kids, and prefer substance from the real men. My 2 cents.

  10. 70
    Catherine

    I have been and am on a couple of sites for older women and younger men. I know Match.com has this category.

  11. 71
    John

    The term cougar seems to have lost the negative connotation.  It’s only the younger ladies who get offended by it.  As long as there are older women searching for younger men, you can bet the term will live on.

  12. 72
    starthrower68

    isn’t that funny, john? i just looked at another thread where a couple of guys said women in terms of looks peak at 25. fascinating. i have gotten hit on alot by younger guys.

  13. 73
    Mialou

    I am a 48 year old woman who is currently dating a 29 year old for the past 3 months.  I came across this thread somewhat by accident, and became intrigued by what everyone was sharing.  Our relationship started out as casual dating, the sex is the most amazing, but in the last couple weeks he has expressed a desire to become serious and exclusive.  I tried to break it off a week ago and found out that he is really very serious about wanting to be with me so I figured why not see where things go.  I think he is absolutely adorable, enjoy his company, he makes me laugh… and did I mention the sex is incredible?  I am in agreement to the exclusiveness however do not have expectations for the relationship to last forever.  I have a 28 year old daughter who is very supportive of the relationship and has stated that she feels a younger guy will be good for me.  Most people are surprised to learn I have a 28 year old daughter because not only do I look like I am in my mid 30s, I honestly feel I am in my mid 30’s.  I plan to take things one day at a time, trying not to become too attached because he could easily wake up one day and decide is wants children.  Enjoy the ride while it lasts is my motto.

  14. 74
    Mary

    I am 45 years old I have been dating a 20 year old for about a year now. He was 19 when we meet. Know we have been living together for about 6 months now. My 21 year old son has disowend me and refuses to talk with me as long as I date/live with this guy. The truth is he makes me happy Its not just the sex and yes that is great :). He and I have a realtionship that grows stronger everyday. When we first started to go out I worried about what people would think in public now I don’t care. We love each other and I don’t think of him as 20 and he dosn’t think of me as 20. We are comfortable with it and we just live day to day and take things as they come. No one has any granuntees in life. And btw I am the one who strugles with the age difference thats why I found this site .

  15. 75
    Mary

    opps didn’t prof read lol I meant to say Now we live togehter and he dosn’t think of me as 40 sorry

  16. 76
    Mary

    I agree with ONE OL’ LADY , I mean why can’t men my age treat me as well as this wonderful 20 year old ….I too take it one day at a time becasue there are no grantees in life :) I say if it makes you happy and your not hurting anyone then do it. Life is short my friends

  17. 77
    Jean

    I am here to testify that love, real love, between an older woman and a younger man can work out.  My husband is 43 and I am 66.  We have been together for 23 years.  That’s right.. he was 20 when we met and I was 43.  I was very reluctant to give in and marry a younger man after living with him for 3 1/2 years, but we were both totally in love and he taught me with my own words.  I had told him I believe we came from God and came to earth to grow our spirits to go back to God so we could be closer to God…and my boyfriend…now husband…said then your soul does not have an age and so we are “soul-mates”.  He was right.  We have been soul mates throughout all these years.  We are about to begin our 24th year together and our love is stronger and more beautiful than ever.  It is true, I am beginning to feel “older” than him, but he continues to tell me I am the most beautiful woman in the world (to him)…and that we will be together throughout eternity…Now this is a real love story..

    1. 77.1
      jon

      Hey Jean,
      just curious. Did you guys make plans for what’s going to happen when you retired and your husband’s not?  Or how it would work if you needed medical support at the same time as his parents, stuff like that?
      Happy it worked out for you. Just trying to figure out how other people handle these things! Drives me crazy.

  18. 78
    Carrie

    I stumbled across this thread today. Just after I turned 40 a 28 year old that I had met one night started to pursue me.  I was dead set against dating someone eleven years younger. The first week I ignored almost all his contact hoping he would disappear. I ended up calling him back to explain that I was flattered but too uncomfortable with the age difference. Immediately after that call he texted and suggested we go get coffee…at that point I thought I had nothing to lose the guy was tripping all over himself to go out with me, even after I rejected him! I also have two aunts that are happily married to much younger men, so I decided to break my own dating “rules”. 

    We dated for almost a year and a half. He broke it off this past fall. I am still heart broken.  There were many great things about our relationship and I think it is possible for relationships with age differences to work.

    If you want a committed relationship that could lead to marriage, be careful. Follow the advice on this website. Although my guy was extremely interested in dating me, and followed it up with daily communication and dates, he never asked me to be exclusive, I never heard him refer to me as his girlfriend, and he didn’t tell me he loved me until AFTER he broke it off with me (and that was via text). I had met his friends and family, we talked about going on trips, and had some future talk,…but NO REAL ACTION towards those things. 

    I suppose I am a slow learner. I am now 41 and never been married. Every time I think I am a pro at dating, I get my heart handed to me on a platter. Live and learn. 

  19. 79
    outrageously

    Love this thread! Loved that it worked for Jean. Age is your and your honey’s business and no other as long as it is legal. Cougar to me is a demeaning term for sure. Who’s to say an age difference won’t work out? I’ve been in many long term relationships with younger men for over 15 years now. Each had unique reasons for not working out and them being older and me younger was NOT the issue, nor kids. As long as you communicate, trust and outline any expectations if any, you are good to go.
    That leash comment was right on! My sister married a guy over 25 years older then her, they have one child and are doing fabulously. another friend in her 60s married a man in his late 40s, they are still together and in love still.
    Don’t let society’s leash hold you back…who cares what other people think.

  20. 80
    Me 41 Him 28 - Love of My Life

    My experience has been completely different to the majority of the situations which unfotuantely did not work out for many women and younger men mentioned above.

    I am 41 and have two children 17 and 13 from a previous relationship with a man who was 7 years older than me – supposedly an ideal age gap if you want to think in broad assumptions – and although we looked great together it was doomed even though we stuck at it for 13 years.

    After that I was with a younger man 9 years my senior and it didnt work but that was purely because he was a selfish person and lacked the warmth, kindness, positive outlook and sexual stamina I needed amongst other things. It doesnt pay to assume all young men are great in bed and have the energy required to be in an exciting relationship, because they don’t.

    I do not judge or make assumptions about any other human being. I don’t care what background or culture they are from. What job they do, car they drive, or how much money they have etc. It is irrelevant to me. All I have ever wanted is to marry for the truest love that there is.

    I never found it and went though many years of being lonely and dissapointed, but my patience was rewarded. I met my future husband who is 28 years old online and bizarrely we connected immediately, spoke on the phone straight away and met within a few days to take our new connection out of the virtual world and into the real world where both of us prefer to operate as human beings.

    It was love at first sight, we talked about marriage and babies even before we met and we did the same in person. I know its totally crazy but thats just how it happened with us. We were both at the same stage in life, in terms of knowing what we wanted and needed in a relationship. We were destined for each other.

    I have never been so happy in my life. Im treated like a queen and cherised in a way I always wanted. Our sexual compatibility is so strong its breathtaking. We will be having two children as he has never had any and I always wanted more IF and ONLY IF I was going to be married to the love of my life. I was not married to childrens father previously. We are trying for our first baby now and are engaged to be married. The only reason we are not marrying now is that I am studying and the academic assistance I get which is the only way I can afford to qualify will be withdrawn, so when I have finished we will be having a big wedding.

    We are best friends, have great fun together as if we were two teenagers. People watch us all the time as it is unmistakeable the love between us. We make each other laugh, we talk about creative things with passion because we are both musical. We talk about everything there is to talk about but essentially we can always speak out minds as equals if something bothers us. We listen to each other, we think about it solve the problem and make love again and again and again. The thought of hurting the other is like a knive wound to the heart and that is when you know that you have true love. When all you want to do is make the other peson happy and they want the same for you then you have achieved the goal.

    I have met his parents as I am at his place alot of the time and best friend and will meeting his other friends also. He has told them about me and while he was driving in the car with them, he rang me up, played a very cool song on the stereo and sang to me over the phone infront of all his friends. Thats was romantic in a non cliched way which I love and put a massive smile on my face. He does things like that all of the time. My partner is not ashamed of me in any way and constantly tells me how proud he is. His friends could not believe that this wild guy who is had girls galore has settled down. The issue with his friends is not my age – it is so accepted these days and I look in my 20s which helps – but it is the fact he has found the one.

    His background is different from mine, he is very alpha male, tough, and a street person, where as I am from an ordinary background but without the harshness he has experienced. Im strong minded but sweet natured which is not indicative of the women he had before. All that matters is that we are totally compatible in terms of our values, wants and needs. We are on the same page entirely and want the same things. He is the most real and genuine man I have ever met and this is essential. The fact he has sex appeal which is like electricity is a bonus. Even if the person you meet is much younger, if they have these qualities and really loves you, it will work beautifully. Guys who said they loved women but wouldnt take them home or let their friends meet them because of the age, were fake. They didn’t mean a word of what they said to you and were not worthy of your time. So here are my tips:

    DONT ME MATERIALISTIC – He may not have much in terms of security and finances and if you love him this won’t matter.

    WANT THE SAME THINGS – You need to establish immediately what the other person wants. If it is not the same as you, forget it and move on.

    AGE IS A NUMBER – If you think that age gives you the measure of a man then, apart from being a stupid person, you shouldnt attempt to be with a younger man as its insulting to him, in the same way it would be insulting to you, if he assumed you were an interesting lay but ultimately a bore because you were in your 40s. Respect has to go both ways.

    CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK? – If you are one of these people then its definitely doomed. I don’t seek peoples approval, especially when it comes to love. If it bothers you that your partner looks younger you are of the wrong mind set to be with him. I actually love the fact I have a younger man with me, it shows that we are open minded people who know how to love and be happy.

    I am proof that it can be an amazing friendship and marriage which is full of fun, adventure, excitement and emotions as well as outstanding love making and sexual exploration between two people. Its awesome. He had a car accident 2 days before he met me and I had broken up with someone 2 weeks before after 5 years of unhappiness. God put us together 100%. Go for it !

  21. 81
    Me 41 Him 28 - Love of My Life

    Opps I was with a younger man 9 years my junior immediately after my 13 year realtionship. Pardon my error. My future husband is 11 years my junior : )

  22. 82
    Paragon

    “Women ages 27 through 45 report not only having more sexual fantasies (and more intense sexual fantasies) than women ages 18 through 26 but also having more sex, period. And they are more willing than younger women to have casual sex, even one-night stands. In other words, despite the girls-gone-wild image of promiscuous college women, it is women in their middle years who are America’s most sexually industrious.”

    http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2007422,00.html

  23. 83
    Moe

    #82, I dont want to be cynical but hes 28 sweetie. He may be amazing now…but I wonder when hes 35 and youre 48 or when hes 45 and youre 58, whether he would still be attracted to you anymore. MEN ARE PHYSICAL CREATURES, trust me, when you get older hes still a younger man, he will want to pursue a younger woman. Its in a man’s nature to do so. He will be checking out that cute 28 year old, he will all of sudden do a 180 from that sweet guy to the guy who’s still on the prowl and wants to explore his option.

    All Im saying is, at 28 hes still young and as a 41 year old, youre risking future pain for present romance with a younger guy only. How do I know this? Im a younger woman who gets hit on by all types of guys, but mainly by your type of man. The guy who married an older woman but wants to stray now because he saw a younger hot lady. Or its the older girlfriend cohabitating with the younger bf…Ive seen it all. I often wonder about these men…why are they with an older woman when theyre obviously prowling on younger women? Why are these older women so desperate? Why are they dating boys when it clear that these boys will become men, and men will want to pursue girls? Age does matter….because as we age, we all change honey.

  24. 84
    Still-Looking

    @81 –
    While I agree with Moe@84, EVERY relationship has risks. You could still be blissfully married to this man in 40 years or he could leave in 5 or 10 years. Every relationship bears the risk of not being a lifelong romance – your relationship probably has a higher risk of not enduring because of the age difference but if you are happy now….be happy now! :-)

  25. 85
    Patricia

    Hi, all. I have to say, I was intrigued by all of your comments. While it may look like older women are desperate, predatory creatures, it is simply not so. I am 45 years old, feel very young and look much younger. When I was between the ages of 15-30, I liked older men. They intrigued me. Now, after a marriage that was so not good and a pending divorce, I get checked out by younger guys. How can I put this? They are so yummy. I have not gone out yet with a younger guy and would not want to date someone younger than 25, for example, but I cannot help but be enraptured by some of them. Why? Because a) they like to have fun b)they look good c) they do have a look in their eyes of earnestness (even if they only want you for bed). They treat you differently than they treat girls their own age. They are definitely more alpha male with younger girls. But with older women, it feels so much sweeter. If I know I could mentor and hang out and be friends (with some romance thrown in) with a younger guy, I would do it. Like I said, it is so appealing; especially after going through marriage with someone your own age and be treated horribly. I just want to have fun and explore my sexuality and enjoy myself.
    Thanks for reading

  26. 86
    Joshua

    In Ontario, this phenomenon of much older women hitting on younger men is far more prevalent than people expect. To me it’s downright gross. I can’t tell you how often women who are single AND married hit, all at least mid thirties and up. I’m in my mid twenties and I look a bit younger.
    Of course, all these women who are obviously delusional tell me “Ohh whoa I thought you were like closer to my age”. Yeah, I’m a man who’s that old when I clearly don’t look it (not bald, fat, no gray hair or wrinkles all over my face, hell I barely have facial hair).
    Sorry old women, younger men who are into you are only into because of ONE thing – you’re so damn easy. Older women are obviously not as wanted as younger women, hence they “put themselves out there” even more, which makes it easier for guys to get them.

  27. 87
    Paragon

    @ Joshua

    “In Ontario, this phenomenon of much older women hitting on younger men is far more prevalent than people expect. To me it’s downright gross. I can’t tell you how often women who are single AND married hit, all at least mid thirties and up. I’m in my mid twenties and I look a bit younger.
    Of course, all these women who are obviously delusional tell me “Ohh whoa I thought you were like closer to my age”. Yeah, I’m a man who’s that old when I clearly don’t look it (not bald, fat, no gray hair or wrinkles all over my face, hell I barely have facial hair).
    Sorry old women, younger men who are into you are only into because of ONE thing – you’re so damn easy. Older women are obviously not as wanted as younger women, hence they “put themselves out there” even more, which makes it easier for guys to get them.”

    I tend to agree.

    “in both male and female demand, sex and looks are complements; all else equal, the better someone looks, the more you want sex with them. In male sex supply, sex and looks seem unrelated; how much sex a man offers has little to do with his looks. In female sex supply, however, it seems that sex and looks are substitutes; the better she looks the less sex she offers.”

    http://www.overcomingbias.com/2010/08/sex-looks-are-supply-substitutes.html

    We can unify this, with what I posted earlier, in support of your assertions.

  28. 88
    Stacy

    I just wan to put my 2 cents in. I and 44, white and gave birth 2 years ago to my little biracial daughter. The father is 23 years old black guy that I worked with. He was 21 when i became pregnant. I was 2 years divorced and still had the mirena birth control device in. My doctor seems to think that it was knocked out because when I went in to see him about the changes that were happening, he told me I was pregnant and that the mirena was gone. I hate to say this but I have hard or men with large units can dislodge the marena and cause it to fall out. I keep the baby because I am a grown women that can take responsibility for my actions. Having a mixed baby and a much younger boyfriend has really turned some of my friends off to were we aren’t friends anymore. My x-husband willnot talk to me anymore. We basically divorced because I would not have any more babies with him. And then i get knocked up by a younger black kid. oh boy. The father and I are good friends and he loves our daughter. We are still sexually active with each other and he want another one. ONE WAY!!!! So I can be in the delivery room by myself pushing a black baby. How do you think that looked. I just want to say is if you older gals fool around with the younger guys make sure you can’t get pregnant. The younger guys take to precaution to prevent pregnancy

  29. 89
    Dra

    I wouldn’t say 27 is a woman’s middle years, 35 and up are a woman’s middle years. The american study is just plain weird.
    I am with a guy 9 years older, and it is utterly boring, however, I would NOT date a man more than 5 years younger. I’m 29. I don’t agree with big age gaps either way. Older men with young girls look really pervey and sad, and older women with very young men look desperate.

  30. 90
    Kathleen

    Dra … I would say since you are only 29 your life experience and outlook has the potential to evolve further.
    I am 53 Many men my age are chasing women your age I often might date a guy in his early 40s. Does that make me sad and desperate???? I look good and Im an athlete I can date younger guys as an option. Why judge that?

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