Welcome to the 100th episode, in which I barely celebrate a milestone achievement, reintroduce myself and the Love U Podcast, and let you know the secret behind all successful marriages – the 5 qualities a man must have to be a great partner. I’m really excited to communicate with you more directly on a regular basis and to give you some powerful, actionable advice that you can immediately use to stop wasting your time on the wrong men.
Hey, this is Evan Marc Katz, a dating coach for smart, strong, successful women, your personal trainer for love. Welcome to the Love U podcast. This is our one-hundredth episode. Stick around to the end to learn something unique and powerful. When we’re done, I’ll tell you about how you can join, Love U, and get the passionate relationship that makes you feel safe, heard, and understood.
So this is the 100th episode of Love U podcast. And if you know me at all, you may know that I’m not a celebrator. While I do tell my stories and talk about myself a lot, I’m a little uncomfortable with the limelight. I’m a little uncomfortable with social media and posting all the time. So this is a new thing that I’m sort of stepping into. And I want to take the time to do something that I never do. And by extension, I want to encourage you to do the same.
We could all be focusing on working hard and putting food on the table and then and no one is saying you shouldn’t. But for me, anyway, I’m a work first person and I rarely get to play. And I rarely stop at the mountaintop and look back on the mountain that I climbed. I’m always onto the next mountain. And maybe with Coronavirus, I’m just trying to turn over a new leaf. So today I want to stop and celebrate.
I did ninety-six episodes of the Love U podcast from 2016 to 2018. And it was really fun and it was a lot of work, but I enjoyed it. And at our peak we had I think forty thousand unique listeners a month, which was really great. We were in the top 20 podcasts for self-help and at a certain point, it became a burden to have to produce a really good podcast where we had the two-camera setup and trying to get distribution and advertising. It was it just became like another thing that I had to do because I’m a much better dating coach than I am a businessman.
So all of these years later, I decided to reboot the podcast and really reboot my entire business and helping smart, strong, successful women find love. And I wanted to take this opportunity because I sent a newsletter out about it and I posted a blog about it. But I want to take the time to be a little bit more personal, more discursive on what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, how it affects you. Cause I’m very conscious of the fact that everything’s about you. I’m just the guy who’s talking. You’re listening to me for how does this impact my love life? So I want to explain to you how it does.
First, a reintroduction. And again, this is what I’m going to be doing right away. I’m just going to be going through bullet points. There’s no script here. And reintroducing myself and reintroducing the Love U podcast. I’m going to explain to you what I’m giving you for free on a regular basis. I’m going to explain to you what Love U is and what I do for a living. And I’m going to give you one piece, one great piece of dating advice that’s going to forever change the way you choose men. And we’re talking about how to get into Love U at the very, very end. But first, to reintroduce myself. My name is Evan Marc Katz, I’m a dating coach for smart, strong, successful women. And that’s just a tag. I’ve been saying it for so long. I don’t think too much about it.
But who are you? You are the woman who has everything but the man. You are the woman who looks at your life and says, this isn’t the life I want to be leading. I know there’s more out there. I keep really busy because I’m not denying my rich, full, single life. And I keep really, really busy to avoid looking at the fact that this isn’t all I want. Love is out there. Love is possible. And for some reason, despite all my many accomplishments, despite my successful career and all that I have upstairs and how good I look from age. I’m longing for more. Your life is here. You want to aim up here. And I’m a facilitator. I’m just the person who gets you from where you are, which is better than this. Better than most people, to up here. Because I’m evangelical about love. I’m a Jewish atheist, but I’m ultimately in it. Evangelical about love. I believe in my marriage. And I believe that you can have this kind of marriage. And it is easy and it’s fun. And it is the thing that makes life worth living more than everything.
And once again, I think it’s coronavirus exposes anything. If you make six figures and you have an amazing place and you’re at home alone trying to figure out what are you gonna do now? It very much exposes the folly of being so on the career path that you never stop to cultivate the love life. And we’re really all about dating in healthiest practices. What are the best practices for dating so that you can get the relationship you deserve?
And so my job essentially for 17 years has been to help women understand men and make better relationship choices that produce better results. Not just in a lab and not just in theory, but in real life, because there’s a lot of dating advice out there that is validating and it sounds really good, but it actually doesn’t change your life. It doesn’t produce any results. You end up dissecting your past and figuring out, you know, why you’re attracted to bad boys. But that still doesn’t tell you how to date online. It still doesn’t tell you how to act on a first date. It doesn’t tell you how to handle sex so that a guy comes back for more. So there’s a lot of very specific mechanisms that I teach in Love U that allow you to feel like you’ve got this G.P.S. that leads you where you want to go. So I provide that kind of advice in a structure called Love U. I’ll explain that in a second.
My podcast, the thing that I’m doing here, is a replacement for what I’ve done for years and years and years, which was built on a sort of shoddy foundation. I started a blog in 2007, so I blogged twice a week on Mondays, Reader questions. On Thursdays, I had links to articles on the Internet. And that was fun. And I didn’t have to think too much about it cause the content was generated by the Internet and just had to react to it. And I would send out newsletters on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays promoting various giving free dating advice and promoting products. But if you came to my computer, you saw my screen, I’d had all these spreadsheets and here’s podcasts and here are newsletters and here are blog posts. And I was like a guy who was juggling way, way, way too much. It’s nice to be able to produce a good amount of content. The problem is when you’re producing a great amount of content to diminishing returns. So this reboot is I’m now going to be doing this podcast twice a week. I’m hoping if I am if I’m disciplined and I stick with this and I enjoy this way of doing it, I’m going to produce a video and a podcast. Then it’s going to be videotaping the podcast. So you can watch it on YouTube. You can listen on Spotify, Stitcher, Apple podcasts, or whatever.
The short type one, the three to five-minute catchy video is going to come out every Tuesday. And then Thursdays or Saturdays, we’re sort of debating, I’m going to be putting out a longer, more discursive one where I tell stories of clients, the kind of stuff that goes a little bit deeper, that might go 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes or something like that. And those will be later in the week.
And my hope is that by producing all this free content and giving you a lot of ideas about the kind of mindset shifts and tactical shifts that you can make to produce better results and love, I can provide a valuable public service that makes a difference in your life. And if you decide, hey, I’m learning a lot here, but my life isn’t changing, then I would invite you to join me in Love U.
Love U is my signature course. It’s a six-month video curriculum that walks you through everything you need to know about dating, relationships, and men. The first month is on confidence. The second month is meeting men, then dating. So, the first three months are on dating. And then the second half of the course is what happens when you find a guy that you like. That’s understanding men, relationships, and commitment. And so, it’s a massive online course. Each week we unlock a new module. We get emails. So, you could watch about a half-hour of love you content each week. And I offer group coaching, private coaching, taking you through that. So you can say, well, I know all this stuff. I knew this stuff from listening to your podcast, from watching YouTube videos. I’m having trouble applying it.
And that’s where group coaching, private coaching, reading me your text messages, logging into Match.com. That’s where we could make a real tangible difference in your life, because, again, there’s knowing something and then there’s doing it. So, I’m going to give you a whole bunch of stuff that I know that I think is going to help you. And if you’re struggling to actually get from point A to point Z, you can apply to join me in Love U and we’ll talk and figure out your goals and how to get you there.
So that’s them. And not that long. Didn’t seem like a waste of time. It’s not that long. That’s the gist of what I wanted to explain today.
Now, I want to give you one great piece of advice that will forever change the way you choose men. And sometimes I feel like I give away too much. I’m not a great salesperson. I’ve had professional copywriters look at my site and say stuff like, why would anybody buy anything from you? Because you give everybody everything for free. And I do understand that. I do get e-mails from people saying, hey, thank you. I got married thanks to you. You would never know it because I never bought anything from you. But thank you. And I love receiving e-mails like that. And I really do try to be generous. I’m going to be generous again and give you something that is really at the essence of what I try to teach in Love U. In a way, it’s almost the punchline of Love U.
But once again, there’s a big difference between knowing the punch line and knowing how to construct the joke. So here it is. Usually, when you’re dating, you choose things that you’re attracted to and you choose men that you’re attracted to. And you get on a dating site, what do you do when you get on an app? What do you do? You look at a guy’s height. You look at a guy’s age. You look at a guy’s income. You’re looking at the guy’s religion. You look at a guy’s politics. So that’s where we’re looking through a checklist. Height, weight, age, education, religion, income, and seeing if he meets the checklist. And you’ve been doing that your way.
And if you listen to this, you’re probably single, right? To only end up here, right? Where? Huh! I’ve been choosing men this way. And every time I choose a guy based on those criteria, which I’m still going to find attractive. No one is telling you shouldn’t find attractive. Every time I choose guys based on those criteria; I get hurt. I get heartbroken. I end up with an undercut, quite a love. I end up staying in a bad relationship for too long. You recount the ways that you ended up single. But there’s some version of that.
So, I aim to in my work in Love U. When I’m coaching, you say, hey, those things are great. But the problem is they say nothing about what kind of husband he is. How tall he is doesn’t make him a better husband. How rich he is doesn’t make him the better husband. How he practices religion doesn’t make him a better husband. And so on. All these things are things that you like, that you find attractive, that you may have in common; but they state nothing about how he treats you nor how you feel in the relationship. So, we hold onto the things you find attractive, and then we look at the things that are ultimately important in a relationship that most people go their whole life without getting all of these.
And you, because you’re listening to me right now from my one-hundredth episode, are never gonna go without these five things. Kindness, consistency, communication, commitment, character.
Kindness, communication, consistency, commitment, character.
You got that? Kindness, communication, consistency, commitment, character.
If you get all of those things and you’re attracted to the guy and have fun with him, you’re all set. The problem is when you go for the guy who’s six feet tall, who has a master’s education, who makes more money than you do, and then you suffer because he is missing some form of Kindness, consistency, communication, commitment, and character.
Pay attention to those qualities. That’s our North Star. That’s where we’re headed. When I take people through Love U. It’s a six-month process. So, if we say I’m gonna focus on those qualities. The feeling of being taken care of within a relationship and I won’t settle for less. I’m not going to be distracted by the guy just because he’s cute or just because he’s rich or just because he’s smart. We eliminate a lot of bad options. We eliminate a lot of wasted time on these guys who don’t deliver. And most guys won’t deliver. That’s important to keep in mind, too. Most guys won’t deliver on this.
So, if you take anything away from today’s Love U podcast other than, “Hey, it’s good to see Evan again.” It would be kindness, consistency, communication, commitment, character. Write that down, don’t forget it.
In the meantime, my name is Evan Marc Katz. I want to thank you for tuning into the Love U podcast. If you enjoyed it, if you learned something valuable today, please subscribe below. Share an honest review on Apple.
In fact, that’s going to be my big request for you. In exchange for all this free stuff. Do me one favor for my one-hundredth episode. And I’ve had forty thousand people a month listen to this thing. I have one hundred and something reviews on iTunes. Click on the link and give me a review on Apple Podcasts. That would mean the world to me. It sends a message to Apple that on the podcast, this is a podcast worth listening to. They have an opportunity to feature us and it costs us nothing. And it makes a big difference in my life and spreads the words about the good ideas that we’re talking about here. Ideas that leave thousands more women, millions of more women if we’re good, in happy, healthy, successful, long term relationships that make you feel safe, heard, and understood. So please do that one thing for me after all the free stuff that I give to you. That would mean the world.
Thank you so much.
I love you.
I appreciate you.
And I look forward to seeing you on my next Love U Podcast.