How You Can Double The Number of Quality Men Right Now

You go to a dating site. You set your age criteria: 5 years older. 5 years younger. Done. You wonder why the younger men don’t seem to respond as much. You wonder why men who are FAR older than you keep responding. It’s all very frustrating and sometimes emotional. What you didn’t know was that I, Evan Marc Katz, am an omniscient, omnipotent being and will send you your husband via Federal Express in the next six months – but only if you do this one thing I ask you to at the end of the video. Stick around.

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Comments:

  1. 1
    Jeanne

    Why is it most men don’t WANT TO SETTLE on their standards for age/looks, yet you tell women they should?

    I’m pretty, why would I want to be w/ a TROLL?

    I prefer meeting men in real life, when I walk into a room, he sees me, not an ad w/boxes checked off & vice versa.

    I don’t think internet dating is such a good idea, but I guess for many, it’s their only option, still both parties deserve to have criteria :0)

    1. 1.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      A. I’m a coach for women. If I coached men, I’d tell them the same thing.

      B. Who said you should date a troll? I said you should look at more men to have more options. Presumably, you’d only meet the attractive ones.

      C. Online dating is the only game in town unless you think going maskless to parties and bars is a good idea. Better to learn how to use it than to complain.

      D. Look at how upset you got and how much you wildly misinterpreted my genderless advice raise your max age range by a few years.” Maybe take it down a notch and take the free advice instead of yelling at me for helping people connect.

  2. 2
    Jodi

    except you will not be happy for the rest of your life, the marriage is only going to last until one of you dies. Since women live on average 6-8 years longer than men, for every year older your husband is than you, you are likely looking at additional year of widowhood. My grandma spent 15 years as a widow. The average 75 year okd woman lives alone

  3. 3
    Jeanne

    Evan, you are right! If you saw the 2 trolls who asked me out in the last year, you would yell too! I’m old(er) 61,look very young for my age & have men who look like they can be my daddy ask me out FROM ONLINE.When I am out & about IRL, more age appropriate men approach me.

    A. I’m a coach for women. If I coached men, I’d tell them the same thing. -TY I appreciate that :0)

    B. Who said you should date a troll? THE TROLLS THE LAST ONE LOOKED LIKE A LEPRECHAUN I said you should look at more men to have more options. I DO I DID I GOT NAUSEOUS Presumably, you’d only meet the attractive ones. IN MY AGE CATEGORY, HELL NO :0( More like the least old/ugly of the bunch

    C. Online dating is the only game in town unless you think going maskless to parties and bars is a good idea. Better to learn how to use it than to complain. OR STAY HOME,LOL or meet men whilst masked & doing grocery shopping,errands, etc. I DID OUR TIME AKA OLD MAN TIME. NEVER AGAIN!

    D. Look at how upset you got– YES IF YOU SAW WHAT I SAW YOU WOULD TOO– and how much you wildly misinterpreted my genderless advice YES raise your max age range by a few years.” ***Oh my, I had parameters of 10 years either way & men who were 80+ emailed me. In fact, an old man who was 86, looked like Al Lewis (Grandpa from The Muensters) wrote me a long detailed letter about his PEN15.*** Maybe take it down a notch and take the free advice instead of yelling at me for helping people connect. ***Sorry, you would yell too if dirty old men wanted you to fellate their ANCIENT ARTIFACTS :0/ Maybe you can write a piece on OLD(er) PPL ???? xox SORRY 4 YELLING AT YOU- I AM REALLY YELLING AT DELUSIONAL OLD MEN

  4. 4
    Jeanne

    Jodi, I want to date YOUNGER MEN for that reason. I have in the past, why should I change that now? I got so many emails from so many delusional men when I was last on a dating site…I always do better IRL. I’d rather wait till the pandemic is OVER than settle for an old geezer on a respirator now. I know it is different for young(er) people though…

  5. 5
    Buck25

    “women live on average 6-8 years loner than men…”

    I hate to burst your bubble on this one, Jodi, but in the U.S., Canada, the U.K., Australia and most of Europe, it’s more like 3 to 4 years (male life expectancy is much lower in the developing nations, which accounts for the WHO stats that say 6-8 years). In any event, the difference is based on the whole of a population, so there’s no guarantee that you individually, will outlive any individual man.

    “ I DID MY OUR TIME AKA OLD MAN TIME. NEVER AGAIN1” ”…men who look like they can be my daddy ask me out FROM ONLINE” “ I had parameters of 10 years either way & men who were eighty+ emailed me.”

    Jeanne,

    Would you be surprised if I told you the same thing happens to men in your age group? When I stated dating again after my divorce, at 65, I encountered much the same from women; I had women from 75-85 emailing me( they looked every bit of it too, and then some)! Guess how well I liked THAT? Know why they did that? Because they could, and they had nothing to lose by trying, just like the “OLD TROLLS” who emailed you! Online dating at 60 and beyond is tough for ANYONE, men and women alike! There are at least as many “delusional old women” as “delusional old men”, and yes, that’s as true on the “senior” dating sites as anywhere else. Also, most men and women who aren’t extremely photogenic generally meet and date better-looking members of the opposite sex in real life, (1) because online dating is heavily looks-biased, making pics almost everything, and (2) people who know they most likely wouldn’t have a chance will approach someone online they wouldn’t have the nerve to approach in real life (again, men and women), on the distant hope they might get lucky.The odds are like playing the lottery; you can’t win if you don’t play, but you have a better chance of being struck by a meteorite than winning.

    There are always exceptions, but between 45 and 60, women appear to age less rapidly than men in the same age group. Mostly that’s due to the protective effects of estrogen (same reason premenopausal women have fewer heart attacks than men. Add in the effects of makeup, Botox, and a maybe a little help from the plastic surgeon, and the typical woman of 50 looks younger than most of her male counterparts. After menopause, things change, and most women catch up with men’s aging sometime in their 60s (I know, I know, you can always point out this or that Hollywood actress who looks fabulous at 70 and beyond, but believe me, that’s as rare as a purple unicorn, and usually “artificially preserved” via makeup and a lot of “work”). I’m pretty sure most of us will NOT encounter any such creature on any dating site, and probably not in the real world either!

    Look, Jeanne, I can understand your desire to date a man 5 or 10 years younger than you, but bear in mind if that guy is 55 or under, reasonably good looking, fairly successful and doesn’t have major dealbreakers, he generally can, and in most cases will, date women significantly younger than himself…because he can. He may date an especially attractive 60 year old woman who looks 50, but he’s not likely to commit to her if he can just as easily have a woman who actually IS 45 or 50 and looks even younger. We could argue as to whether that’s “fair” or not, but it’s reality, just as it’s reality that a man of 65, even a very fit and active one, who’s financially successful, college-educated, outgoing and has no major dealbreakers for most women, is not likely to be successful online at dating women under 60, even if he can sometimes do so in real life. Both men and women filter heavily for age online (you’d be surprised how many women online whose acceptable age range for a man is their own age to 10 or even 15 years younger); women try to do this every bit as much as men do, and often screen out ALL profiles of men more than a year or two older than themselves. Now it’s true that one might get lucky, but the odds are usually heavily against that; the only thing more invisible online than a 65 year old man is a 65 year old woman, and it only gets worse from there, for both genders. Fact is, no matter how well we take care of ourselves, nature always wins in the end, and sooner or later we pretty much all reach a point where we aren’t in the least attractive to the opposite sex. Dating when we’re older is difficult at best, because while we change in appearance, what we find attractive in the opposite sex doesn’t, making finding a peer-age relationship with any chemistry at all more and more problematic. No matter how great a person we think we are, we’re not entitled in the dating world to anything; no one owes us a relationship, or even a chance at one. No one owes us a date, or even a reply to an email. We can all take our best shot, do the best we can with playing the hand life dealt us, and hope. I pretty much gave up the active chase after I turned 71, and I doubt I’ll resume it. Perhaps you’ll have a better result; I hope so.

  6. 6
    Jeanne

    Buck,how rude of me to not address your responses…

    Jeanne,

    Would you be surprised if I told you the same thing happens to men in your age group?
    YES, I HEARD GRAND MA MA FROM THE ADDAMS FAMILY ALSO SENDS OUT PIX TO MEN WHEN GRANDPA MUENSTER IS “SLEEPING”

    When I stated dating again after my divorce, at 65, I encountered much the same from women; I had women from 75-85 emailing me( they looked every bit of it too, and then some)! Guess how well I liked THAT?
    UGH I CANNOT IMAGINE THE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL!

    Know why they did that? Because they could, and they had nothing to lose by trying, just like the “OLD TROLLS” who emailed you!
    GREAT POINT

    Online dating at 60 and beyond is tough for ANYONE, men and women alike! There are at least as many “delusional old women” as “delusional old men”, and yes, that’s as true on the “senior” dating sites as anywhere else.
    MAYBE THERE SHOULD BE A SITE CALLED OLD BUT NOT DELUSIONAL???

    Also, most men and women who aren’t extremely photogenic generally meet and date better-looking members of the opposite sex in real life,
    I AM VERY PHOTOGENIC & UNFILTERED AS WELL. MY PROB IS WHEN I PUT UP AN AD, I GET BOMBARDED W/ 100’S OF MEN WHO DONT EVEN READ MY AD,BUT JUST WANNA PLAY DOCTOR ASAP

    (1) because online dating is heavily looks-biased, making pics almost everything, and (2) people who know they most likely wouldn’t have a chance will approach someone online they wouldn’t have the nerve to approach in real life (again, men and women), on the distant hope they might get lucky.
    YOU ARE CORRECT ABOUT THIS,BUT IN REALLIFE,I GET TO SMILE & BE NICE ETC TO THE AVERAGE MALE IN MY AGE CATEGORY WHO EXPRESSES INTEREST & HE SEEMS TO REALIZE HE’SGOT A CHANCE,PLUS I AM NOT WEEDING THROUGH 100’SOF GRANDPA MUENSTERS

    The odds are like playing the lottery; you can’t win if you don’t play, but you have a better chance of being struck by a meteorite than winning.

    There are always exceptions, but between 45 and 60, women appear to age less rapidly than men in the same age group. Mostly that’s due to the protective effects of estrogen (same reason premenopausal women have fewer heart attacks than men. Add in the effects of makeup, Botox, and a maybe a little help from the plastic surgeon, and the typical woman of 50 looks younger than most of her male counterparts.
    TRUE, OR THE ONES WHO HAVE THE LUCKY GENETICS & KNOW HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH WELL

    After menopause, things change, and most women catch up with men’s aging sometime in their 60s (I know, I know, you can always point out this or that Hollywood actress who looks fabulous at 70 and beyond, but believe me, that’s as rare as a purple unicorn, and usually “artificially preserved” via makeup and a lot of “work”). I’m pretty sure most of us will NOT encounter any such creature on any dating site, and probably not in the real world either!
    THERE MAY BE A CHUPA CABRA OR 2 IN THE REAL WORLD…

    Look, Jeanne, I can understand your desire to date a man 5 or 10 years younger than you
    ACTUALLY I PREFER MY AGE OR UP TO 2-3 YEARS OLDER

    , but bear in mind if that guy is 55 or under, reasonably good looking, fairly successful and doesn’t have major dealbreakers, he generally can, and in most cases will, date women significantly younger than himself…because he can.
    WHEN I WAS ON OLD MAN TIME,BY #1 ISSUES WAS POLITICS & MEN HARRASSING ME–IT’S LIKE THEY KNEW THEY WERE NOT GONNA GET A DATE W/ ME ANYWAY, SO THEY WANTED TO HARRASS ME FROM DAY ONE :0(

    He may date an especially attractive 60 year old woman who looks 50, SOUNDS LIKE ME, NO FALSE MODESTY HERE

    but he’s not likely to commit to her if he can just as easily have a woman who actually IS 45 or 50 and looks even younger. We could argue as to whether that’s “fair” or not, but it’s reality, just as it’s reality that a man of 65, even a very fit and active one, who’s financially successful, college-educated, outgoing and has no major dealbreakers for most women, is not likely to be successful online at dating women under 60, even if he can sometimes do so in real life.
    EVERY MAN I MET AFTER THE AGE OF 40 HAD A DEALBREAKER

    Both men and women filter heavily for age online (you’d be surprised how many women online whose acceptable age range for a man is their own age to 10 or even 15 years younger); women try to do this every bit as much as men do, and often screen out ALL profiles of men more than a year or two older than themselves. THIS IS A GOOD POINT

    Now it’s true that one might get lucky, but the odds are usually heavily against that; the only thing more invisible online than a 65 year old man is a 65 year old woman, and it only gets worse from there, for both genders. Fact is, no matter how well we take care of ourselves, nature always wins in the end, and sooner or later we pretty much all reach a point where we aren’t in the least attractive to the opposite sex. Dating when we’re older is difficult at best, because while we change in appearance, what we find attractive in the opposite sex doesn’t, making finding a peer-age relationship with any chemistry at all more and more problematic. No matter how great a person we think we are, we’re not entitled in the dating world to anything; no one owes us a relationship, or even a chance at one. No one owes us a date, or even a reply to an email. SO TRUE ON ALL COUNTS

    We can all take our best shot, do the best we can with playing the hand life dealt us, and hope. I pretty much gave up the active chase after I turned 71, and I doubt I’ll resume it. Perhaps you’ll have a better result; I hope so.

    A WEALTHY NICE LOOKING MAN WHO I MET IN REAL LIFE ASKEDMEOUT TO DINNER LAST WEEK. I HAD A COLD & TOLD HIM I’DRATHER WAIT TILL I WAS SURE I WAS OK & HE SCAMPERED OFF. NO GREAT LOSS BEC.WE HAD DIFF POVS ON 45…BTW HE IS ON POF CLAIMING TO BE 55 WHEN HE IS 71! I WASON POF W/MY REAL AGE LISTED & UNFILTERED PIX,ALBEIT IN SOME MAKEUP & FLATTERING CLOTHES & POSES :0)

  7. 7
    Buck25

    Jeanne,
    Thanks for your reply. Let me respond with a few further thoughts.

    “Maybe there should be a site called Old but not Delusional??” You might have a real idea with that, though I have to wonder what the actual population of such a site would be, given that “old but not delusional” is a bit of an oxymoron with a lot of people.

    “Actually, I prefer my own age or up to 2-3 years older”. Ok, perhaps I misunderstood but in your previous post you DID say you wanted to date “younger men”. I took that to mean “younger than me” where I think you meant “younger than the men who’ve been approaching me online”. Is that a fair interpretation?

    Obviously you had some bad experience with Our Time. I can’t say I found that particular site great either.As for POF all I can say that if dating sites were neighborhoods, POF (at least in my area) would be a low-rent trailer park; YMMV, of course.

    Alas, I’m afraid people of both genders lying about their real age is depressingly common online. I’ve never done that (in spite of advice from some to do so) on the grounds that (1) it’s counterproductive in the long run anyway,(why date someone who doesn’t want to date someone your real age?) and (2) old as I am, I retain some measure of honor and integrity, and I’ve yet to meet anyone worth giving that up. My online profile and pics were a “what you see and read is exactly what you get” proposition. If I have to lie to a woman to get a date with her, then she’s not someone I should be dating anyway.

    “Every man I met after the age of 40 had a dealbreaker”. I don’t know what your personal “dealbreakers” are, but you’re certainly entitled to have them. Same goes for whatever your preferences for height, income, social standing, etc.are. It’s certainly ok for you to want what you want; you can set the bar wherever you’re comfortable setting it, so long as you’re ok with the limits that puts on your potential dating pool.

    Covid-19 obviously makes dating in real life somewhat problematic right now, especially if you’re older. My age already puts me in a high risk group, and while yours doesn’t, you still most likely don’t want to get the virus or give it to someone else. At any rate, real life social life is difficult for now; though like you, I find I generally do better that way than online; I suspect that’s true for most people who have an attractive personality and good social skills. There are just some aspects of personality that are hard to get across in an online profile. Besides, as we’ve both noted, a good profile attracts few people you might want to know and a lot more you don’t; like a dish of sugar water, it attracts both hummingbirds…and flies (the flies are far more numerous, of course).

    I don’t know where you are (your spelling would indicate Canada, the U.K. or perhaps Australia), but in America, politics is definitely an issue. America is far more politically polarized than at any time in my lifetime. There is an increasingly bitter divide along political, cultural, generational and class lines, and it seems to get more hateful with each passing day. Each side hates, vilifies, demonizes and views with utter contempt anyone with an opposing viewpoint. I’ve seen it end marriages and relationships, break up lifelong friendships, and even drive families apart; parent against child, brother against brother, neighbor against neighbor. Unfortunately, regardless of the outcome of the coming election, I don’t see that changing; if anything, I fear it is going to get even worse, and I seriously wonder if in fact it can ever be healed, at least within our lifetimes. From a dating perspective, it is frankly difficult to have a civil conversation with, much less date, someone with the opposite political view, at least for now.

    I wish I could offer you something more hopeful, but at least, you still have time yet, and perhaps, you may find what you seek. I wish you well.

  8. 8
    Jeanne

    “Jeanne,
    Thanks for your reply. Let me respond with a few further thoughts.”

    THANK YOU

    “Maybe there should be a site called Old but not Delusional??” You might have a real idea with that, though I have to wonder what the actual population of such a site would be, given that “old but not delusional” is a bit of an oxymoron with a lot of people.

    LOL- I DO LIKE THE IDEA OF BEEN VERIFIED THAT AT LEAST 1 SITE USES

    “Actually, I prefer my own age or up to 2-3 years older”. Ok, perhaps I misunderstood but in your previous post you DID say you wanted to date “younger men”. I took that to mean “younger than me” where I think you meant “younger than the men who’ve been approaching me online”. Is that a fair interpretation? YES, YES, YES!

    Obviously you had some bad experience with Our Time. I can’t say I found that particular site great either.As for POF all I can say that if dating sites were neighborhoods, POF (at least in my area) would be a low-rent trailer park; YMMV, of course.
    AGREE

    Alas, I’m afraid people of both genders lying about their real age is depressingly common online. I’ve never done that (in spite of advice from some to do so) on the grounds that (1) it’s counterproductive in the long run anyway,(why date someone who doesn’t want to date someone your real age?) and (2) old as I am, I retain some measure of honor and integrity, and I’ve yet to meet anyone worth giving that up.
    AGREE, HOWEVER- MOST MAY DECEMBER RELATIONSHIPS ARE W/ THE WOMEN YOUNGER…

    My online profile and pics were a “what you see and read is exactly what you get” proposition. If I have to lie to a woman to get a date with her, then she’s not someone I should be dating anyway.
    I AM LIKE THAT TOO, HENCE MY LACK OF SUCCESS/PATIENCE ONLINE?

    “Every man I met after the age of 40 had a dealbreaker”. I don’t know what your personal “dealbreakers” are, but you’re certainly entitled to have them.

    NOT LITTLE THINGS LIKE HEIGHT OR INCOME PER SE BUT MAJOR CHARACTER FLAWS (STILL MARRIED, ADDICTIONS, MAJOR PERSONALITY DISORDERS ) & GEOGRAPHICAL AVAILABILITY

    Same goes for whatever your preferences for height, income, social standing, etc.are. It’s certainly ok for you to want what you want; you can set the bar wherever you’re comfortable setting it, so long as you’re ok with the limits that puts on your potential dating pool.

    Covid-19 obviously makes dating in real life somewhat problematic right now, especially if you’re older. My age already puts me in a high risk group, and while yours doesn’t, you still most likely don’t want to get the virus or give it to someone else. At any rate, real life social life is difficult for now; though like you, I find I generally do better that way than online;
    METOO

    I suspect that’s true for most people who have an attractive personality and good social skills. There are just some aspects of personality that are hard to get across in an online profile. Besides, as we’ve both noted, a good profile attracts few people you might want to know and a lot more you don’t; like a dish of sugar water, it attracts both hummingbirds…and flies (the flies are far more numerous, of course).

    YES PLUS WHEN A PERSON OR A WOMAN LIKE ME IS ATTRACTIVE ESP BEING OLDER, EVERY CREEP/JERK BOMBARDS HER- SAME FOR BOTH GENDERS

    THERE ARE MANY PRETTY WOMEN IN THEIR 20S-30S, STILL LOTS IN THEIR 40S, SOME IN THEIR 50S, BY THE TIME YOU HT 60+ IF YOU STILL LOOK THAT GOOD, YOU DO STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD WHICH IS A DOUBLE EDGED SWORD

    I don’t know where you are (your spelling would indicate Canada, the U.K. or perhaps Australia),

    UPSTATE NY

    but in America, politics is definitely an issue. America is far more politically polarized than at any time in my lifetime. There is an increasingly bitter divide along political, cultural, generational and class lines, and it seems to get more hateful with each passing day. Each side hates, vilifies, demonizes and views with utter contempt anyone with an opposing viewpoint. I’ve seen it end marriages and relationships, break up lifelong friendships, and even drive families apart; parent against child, brother against brother, neighbor against neighbor. Unfortunately, regardless of the outcome of the coming election, I don’t see that changing; if anything, I fear it is going to get even worse, and I seriously wonder if in fact it can ever be healed, at least within our lifetimes. From a dating perspective, it is frankly difficult to have a civil conversation with, much less date, someone with the opposite political view, at least for now.

    VERY TRUE

    I wish I could offer you something more hopeful, but at least, you still have time yet, and perhaps, you may find what you seek. I wish you well.

    DITTO

    UNDERSTAND THIS TOO…

    MEN ASK ME RIGHT UP FRONT WHAT MY PENSION/ASSETS IS, DO I OWN MY OWN HOUSE, DO I STILL FEEL CAPABLE OF SEX?

    NO YOU ARE NOT MOVING IN W/ME AFTER THE 1ST DATE, I DO NOT RUN A HOMELESS SHELTER

    MY PENSION IS MINE, WE CAN DETERMINE IF WE CAN KEEP UP W/ EACH OTHER FINANCIALLY BUT NEITHER SHOULD BE SUBSIDIZING THE OTHER!

    MOST MEN MY AGE SEX IS NOT THE #1 PRIORITY ANYMORE. MAKES ME SUSPECT

    WHAT I DO- IS DOWNPLAY MY SEXUALITY/LOOKS, INCOME/ASSETS– NO I DONT LIE OR ACT FAKE, BUT I DONT USE IT LIKE A BEACON TO ATTRACT MEN EITHER.

    WHE AROUND A MAN/MEN ON MY 1 & ONLY INTERNET DATE ALMOST 1 YEAR AGO, I DRESS MORE CONSERVATIVELY .

    I DRIVE A MODEST VEHICLE & DO NOT FLAUNT ANY $ OR ASSETS I DO HAVE.

    I THINK MANY OF THESE MEN WERELOOKING FOR THE FREE BED & BREAKFAST, A RETIREMENT SUBSIDY ROOMIE, OR AN OLD HOOCHIE MAMA.

    JUST MY 2 CENTS & EXPERIENCE!

    RECENTLY A MAN 11 YRS OLDER THA ME WHO KNEW ME FROM IRL ASKED ME TO DINNER. HE SEEMED SURPRISED THAT I WAS NOT GOING ON A BUNCH OF DATES (BEC. HE WAS) HE TURNED ME OFF WHEN HE BRAGGED ABOUT ALLOF HIS DATES & WAS A HUGE TRUMP SUPPORTER WHO SAID HE WANTED TO TAKE ME TO A RALLY (DID NOT RESPECT MY IDEALOGY)

    THE 11 YEARS OLDER WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN AN ISSUE IF HE RESPECTED MY OPINION EVEN HAD HE NOT AGREED & HIM TALKING ABOUT HE FLEW ALL OVER TO MEET WOMEN ETC.

    OLD SAYING,”SILENCE IS GOLDEN” ;0)

  9. 9
    Yet Another Guy

    @Buck25

    “As for POF all I can say that if dating sites were neighborhoods, POF (at least in my area) would be a low-rent trailer park; YMMV, of course.”

    It is more like the cesspool of dating cites. Sure there are a few gems on that site, but one has to wade into a cesspool to find them. Women complain about male member pics, but any desirable man is bound to receive at least one unsolicited nude from a woman on that site. I thought that it was a fluke the first time it happened to me after I exhanged cell numbers with a woman. However, after it happened with another woman, I realized that I was not in Kansas anymore, so to speak. Some were just topless in panties photos while others left nothing to the imagination, including the explicit integration of toys.

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