Women Over 40: How to Attract the Right Men and Avoid the Wrong Ones

In your experience, dating in your 40’s is trickier than dating in your 20’s or 30’s. But does it have to be? Men are men. Women are women. So what’s so different about dating after you turn the big 4-0? In this Love U Podcast, I’m going to share with you why it is, indeed, harder to find a good middle-aged man, and what you should consider if you’re facing your biological clock.

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  1. 1

    Hi Evan, last year I was 38 and dated a guy who was 37 and claiming he was ready for a marriage and starting a family. His family was jewish, very rich but non-religious. It was after the evening when he took me to introduce to his parents – he disappeared for one week and then sent me a mumbling message- something about his ex and how he is super busy with work that he has to take a break.
    Only 4 weeks later he reappeared and in the phone call he said his parents made children question sound very serious and urgent to him because of my age. It made him “feel the reality” and retrieve into a cage thinking..

    It was then, when he BLAMED me that I sounded too relaxed about my timing!!! He said i behaved like I was not in a rush and that I was quite old, that we should have immediately started getting pregnant!

    In those 2 months I behaved like you say in the video- I didn’t want to come across as desperate plus I still was trying to figure out if he is a reliable as one of the worst mistakes would be to me to have kids with someone I can’t rely on and have no help apart from finances from him..

    Since then we never managed to see each other. I thought he was cruel to call me old and to offer no solution and at the same time he wasn’t the one rushing to me to find one, to discuss what we would do.
    He has been on and off, writing recently that we wasted something that could have had a great potential but I never thought I made a definite mistake as he never managed to show me with his ACTIONS that I mean more than his business and that he really cared about me..

    I think he is an avoidant.. Bad boy in his childhood but now aspiring to become as rich as his dad to prove he has grown..

    Thanks for your videos, always great!

  2. 2

    He sounds like an entitled jerk who couldn’t man up to his meddling parents.

  3. 3
    In Hiding

    I think those commitment-minded available men are looking for the 10-20 years younger woman. Oh well what are you gonna do? It is what it is.

  4. 4

    I agree that dating in your 40’s is trickier than dating in your 20’s and 30’s. In your 40’s a good number of men have been married or have children. That means they have baggage. They have also acquired assets and may want to protect these (and with good reason.) They’ve also likely been burned.

    That said, women bring their own baggage to the table. Some of us have been married or have children that we are raising or our own assets or lack of assets. Some of us have also been burned. Time adds more to the mix. We aren’t blank canvases like we were in our 20’s.

    I think that 40 and over dating requires the same set of skills you should have developed in your 20’s and 30’s. The dating at this phase in life requires patience, time, perseverance, understanding, and the ability to screen well so that you don’t waste time or end up with a broken heart. It’s possible to find a mate, but it will probably require some work.

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