I had signed up for a few dating sites, would go on a few dates, get discouraged in men in general and jump off the site. I really starting wondering what was wrong with me. Then I started reading your stuff I saw myself in many of your scenarios. Did I expect too much of men? (Check) Did I push men away because I wasn’t immediately attracted. (Check) Here’s a tough one – Did I emasculate men? (Double check) Well – I tried another dating site (OurTime) and I approached the experience differently. I looked at men differently. I started to listen and understand where they were coming from. It really didn’t take long after that. I met Randy on March 30th and on September 30th got a beautiful bouquet of flowers for our 6 month “anniversary”. The card read – I hope these flowers are as beautiful as you”. It made me cry.
He had lost his wife 4 years prior to cancer and I wasn’t sure if he was still grieving. We danced around each other for two months and then one day, I just decided to get real with him. I started telling him everything – and he was responsive and started telling me his fears and hopes. I can honestly say I stopped believing that there were “good guys” out there until I met this man. He actually makes me want to be a better person. (I now understand that line from As Good as it Gets!)
He treats me like a queen, better than I’ve ever been treated.
So, at 54, I’m starting over, and I have to thank you for being a big part of it. Thank you for your insight and advice.