At 27-years-old, I am young, I am extremely goal-oriented and busy, but I’ve known for a while that I want to make time in my life for love. For a long time, I really only believed this in theory, but over the last few years, I have had a few boyfriends, random love interests, the guys you go out with who string you along and it doesn’t go anywhere, and even a couple of guys I have been guilty of stringing along without it going anywhere…
Before joining Evan’s Love U program, I had actually already been receiving a lot of his newsletters for a while and putting them into practice the best I could (like actually making time to date people, and putting in the required energy / minimal effort to have results ;). It took me a while, but I had already begun taking his advice seriously about knowing when to walk and when to give men a second chance, to look for things in potential future-boyfriends that would make me feel good and fulfilled in the long-run rather than looking for someone who was just like me, and of course, to keep dating, no matter all those disappointing dates!
However, with Love U, I found that by having Evan answer some of my questions directly about some of the more specific issues that come up when practicing his advice, as well as being supported by other women going through the same thing, was really helpful, especially with regard to dealing with that negative, pessimistic voice in your head, how to deal with “texters” and concerns about pacing. As well, I found “Why He Disappeared” was particularly insightful with very useful, practical strategies to handle uncomfortable moments, learning to pick your battles when there’s conflict, and learning to choose to not act on the fear-based impulse to try to control situations by calling or emailing or making plans first, etc.
I’m happy to say that I’ve recently celebrated my two-year anniversary with my husband (6.5 years together). My family likes him and he likes them… he just seems to fit right in! We have a lovely intellectual and emotional connection that I make a point to openly appreciate as often as I can, which only brings out more of what I love!
I want to share with you why things are going so well so you can have the same happy and fulfilling relationship: I share my life passions and joy and laughter with him and he forgets all his worries when he is with me. He is a caring, thoughtful, intelligent man and very observant – I also make it a point to share my observations and remember his likes and dislikes.
We are very honest with each other, but compassionately and without judgment, in the spirit of feeling freer together. I know all the details of his past girlfriends, sexcapades etc. and my reaction to all of it was genuine amusement and curiosity. He was surprised that I wasn’t judgmental or jealous and that I actually accept him and am grateful for all those experiences that have shaped the wonderful, thoughtful, committed, sexually astute man that he is today.
We love each other and try to keep the bigger picture and bigger goals top of mind in the midst of big transitions with career and a potential move, but my hubby has been really supportive through it all and believes in me and that is 100% why I married him.
Being more understanding, “not crying wolf” about petty issues, and accepting him for who he is, as well as sticking to my values are all things that really set me apart from all his previous girlfriends and makes him feel a really special intimacy that he has not felt before.
These are all aspects of myself that I have worked on a lot with the help of the advice of people like Evan. The best part is how these changes in my attitude and world view truly feel part of my best self – I mean them! This is growth and self-improvement and it feels great to just see how far I’ve come.
So, take all Evan’s advice to heart and resist the urge to become defensive – that is just your scared ego not allowing you the chance to be truly fulfilled in love and you deserve better – the world will also benefit more generally when the better part of yourself really shines!