I felt inexperienced, inadequate and unattractive. I hadn’t dated in 30 years, and the last man (my ex-husband) I was with was rude, self-centered, bad at communicating, and did nothing positive for my self-esteem. After 8 years my badly bruised ego was improving, but not enough to have the guts to reach out to a stranger who might want to ‘meet up’. I edited my profile over and over and was okay with it but started googling about the fears I was having and came across Evan’s website. I wanted to understand how to read between the few lines you get to read on dating sites. I felt like most men were simply saying I want someone to hang out with that likes the same stuff: hunting, fishing, camping, etc. Some men stated that they were not into games, so I imagine that women had been less than honest with them in the past. I wanted to feel semi-comfortable via the computer, trust a man enough to meet him, and then trust my judgment, which had been shaken. I’d also been told I was vulnerable, after years of being “affection-deprived”.
Evan’s work on what men are looking for in a woman was very helpful and I’ve since found it to be quite accurate. Most women make laundry lists of what they want in a man…security, honesty, good looks, confidence, etc. But with men, it comes down to how you make them feel. Yup. That simple…what you look like, how much education you have, where you live…all not as impacting as how you treat, touch, speak to a man, and how that makes him feel. I decided I would limit my determining attributes for the perfect man for me to someone kind and demonstrative. I learned from Evan that what I should be looking for is someone who will love all of me. He encouraged me to be myself and not try to be more or less, so I wore very little makeup and went to meet ‘a potential new friend’. I am normally an introvert at heart, but chatty and curious.
It felt so good to be myself, open and honest, and find that I got the same in return. How refreshing! After a few weeks of dating Bob, he told me that halfway thru our first date he wanted so badly to hold my hand. He was already ‘smitten’! I made him “feel comfortable, listened to, and liked” in a way he hadn’t experienced before. In just 2 months, we are already talking forever. We are soul mates in so many ways, and I, too, have never felt the way I do with Bob. My friends, family and coworkers not only approve, but have remarked on how I have a glow, more ‘pep in my step’, etc. I’ve attached a photo you’re welcome to share that a stranger offered to take of us at the Farmer’s Market.
Thank you, Evan.