After years of recovery from a cheating ex-husband, I was ready to date again. It became clear very quickly that most guys on dating apps (paid and unpaid) were looking for a hook-up. I tried many different apps and learnt quickly that asking for a recent picture was important. So many times, I didn’t recognize the people I’d agreed to meet.
While I had fun, I knew what I was doing wouldn’t get me to my end goal of a long-term relationship. I was feeling ready for a change. I discovered Evan via his Love U Podcasts at first, then I bought and read, and re-read every book. I updated my profile, became much choosier about who’d I’d meet. I found that I either had lots of dates in a week, or none and I couldn’t figure out why. I needed to understand how to find the guy that wanted me for me. I resonated with the advice; it was so simple.
From Love U, I learned it’s okay to let the guy take the reins. It isn’t a sign of weakness. While I understood it, I didn’t live this for a long time. Things changed when I truly accepted how I needed to behave. When I started following the advice, things changed slowly. I talked to more guys, went on fewer dates (as I became selective…in a more open way).
My life changed forever on July 21st 2016. Two things happened that day:
First, I had a meeting with a lady on e-Cyrano to help write my profile. That was at 8pm.
Second, I went on a first date with a guy called John. That was at 9pm in a bar around the corner from where I lived (because I couldn’t be bothered to dress up as I’d worked out that night too).
I was leaving for a trip early the next morning so only planned on staying on my date for an hour. We closed the bar down – we talked and talked. John stayed on my couch that night, and when I overslept for my 6am flight he drove me to the airport and lent me his sunglasses. Even better, the moment I got to my destination we spent another few hours on the phone. Never once did I have to worry about what John was thinking or how he felt. He was honorable, gave me time and space to realize this was life-changing.
I fell in love with him the day he gave a $20 tip to a delivery guy, just because he wanted to make the guy smile. We’ve never looked back, we hardly argue and when we do it’s easy to recover.
Fast forward a couple of years and John proposed. We got married last year. It is the best relationship I’ve ever had. We’re best friends and I couldn’t imagine us not together.