I had been dating a 68-year-old retired man (I am 62) for 1.5 years. I met him on Plenty of Fish. He initially came on really strong and showered me with adoration. Said he loved me, spent every weekend and a couple evenings during the week with me.
We talked about moving in together. He said he could commit; however, he seemed to hold a grudge against his grown children and his first spouse. Then one evening we had an argument over the fact that we were out with others when I hoped for alone time with him. Well, after I went out in a huff, he ghosted me! He did not return a call to him where I apologized for storming off, nor did he respond to my email or text.
I finally sent an email thanking him for a wonderful 1.5 years and wishing him much happiness in the future. This was my version of closure. He finally emailed me back that I had given him the love he had been missing all his life and he was sorry he could not be the man I wanted him to me. I emailed back that it was no-one’s fault and I said he had given me a wonderful time and I had loved my time with him.
I did not understand my “boyfriend’s” behavior. Your book helped me understand that he did not love me unconditionally and that he was in fact afraid of any kind of commitment. I realized I was worth more than this treatment from someone with whom I had been exclusive for 1.5 years, taking him on vacation with my kids, etc.
I learned not to hang on to men who do not love you unconditionally, or who are not willing to commit to you on some level. They are not worth your time and anguish. Moving on is the best solution. He obviously was not right for me, although he was a lot of fun!
I have started dating again and will not tolerate shoddy treatment again. I’m much stronger and feel empowered, with more self-confidence and that I am worthy of a committed, loving relationship.v