“A few years ago, when I was first introduced to Evan, I was feeling increasingly frustrated with my dating life. After divorcing an emotionally unavailable man after 23 years of marriage I had two difficult, long term relationships with men who were not stepping up and I had gotten used to being treated badly.
I’d had some difficult family situations to deal with as a single mother of three twenty somethings and Evan provided me with my first ‘Aha’ moment which was when he told me ‘You’ve been a great mother to your children, and a good daughter to your elderly mother but who’s been there for you Christine?’ This actually made me cry – I had been the ‘go to’ person for my children and the men I was dating were narcissists who had me hooked but were not good men.
I needed to understand that I deserved more than this, that there were some good men out there and although it wasn’t going to be easy to find them, I believed with the new tools I had learned I could do this.
I learned a lot and made some good friends through Evan’s community, and that by changing my ways and gaining the support of Evan and other women in the same situation that I could get better and better. The most important thing I learned was that I didn’t actually want or need the type of man I thought I wanted. That my type was not in fact my type!
Soon, I was able to make dating fun and behave like the woman I wanted to be. I became the CEO in charge of my own life, and not subject to the whims of men. Although I had dated lots of nice men online, there was one man I had met in ‘real life’, who was there in the background. I’d placed him firmly in the ‘just friends’ box, but once I took a long, hard look at what I really wanted in a man to move forward to a healthy and satisfying relationship I realized he was all of these things. Actually, it was Evan who pointed this out and simply said ‘Date him!’
This week, I got a proposal and a beautiful ring – we’ll get married later next year. I wanted you to be the first to know. By the way, my daughter Kate also turned her life around, thanks to you. Ditched the guy who could never step up, found a wonderful new man from LA, moved from NYC to move in with and just got married.
I now feel ‘Safe, happy and secure’… which was exactly what I wrote I was looking for in my online profile well when I first met you 8 years ago!”