When I first met Evan, I was in a 2 year long-term-relationship with a guy… but he was stalling around getting married
I remember discussing these topics with Evan during one focus call and one thing that Evan told struck me profoundly “Nicoletta, pay attention to how bad this man wants to be your husband.”
I was suffering deeply and asking myself the same question that haunts all the women who choose to work with Evan “why does an attractive, sophisticated, loving and successful woman who has much to offer have so much trouble finding a man willing to make a life-long commitment?!” while observing friends getting engaged, married, then having babies at the speed of light…
But I did not want to quit, nor was I content something which was not aligned with my desires. So, I immersed myself in Evan’s teachings and enrolled in Love U. Step by step I realized that I WAS the real CEO of my love life and that I owed to myself to take my power back.
Long story short, at the 3 + year mark (following Evan’s advice), I broke off with my boyfriend and after a few days of grieving I decided to date immediately and give a chance to some suitors who were potentially good matches.
And then the MAGIC started happening, although it took me some time to realize it!
Turned out my ex-boyfriend called the week after, distraught about the break up. We met for dinner and he deeply apologized to me, admitted he had been stalling because he was so much focused on his career and work relocation, that it took him some time and real introspection to confront and defeat his fears, but realized that at this stage he could not live without me, now he was ready to take real action.
But I wasn’t ready now. I needed space, I needed time.
So, I politely told him that I appreciated his sincerity, but I was in a different emotional place, I was not ready to rekindle our relationship, I needed time and space to heal and focus on myself.
He understood perfectly and accepted my stance, he also told me he could wait for me because he loved me deeply, was ready to do whatever it took not to lose me and waiting for all the perfect circumstances to get married (right job, right town, right house etc.) was nonsense.
It took me several months to realize I was ready to reconsider being back with him.
There he was, open armed, open hearted, compassionate, caring, emotionally grounded… waiting for me as he had promised, longing to propose as he did with a beautiful ring.
October 7th this year has been our first wedding anniversary and I can tell you that now I feel safe, but most of all I feel empowered to have created for myself the life I truly desire.
So, here my big takeaways for all the ladies in Love U:
- Men do what they want to do at their own timing;
- If your relationship does not unfold the way you want, you talk about it with him (mindreading does not exist in real life!) and if nothing changes your best leverage is to leave, if he follows you have a boyfriend or a husband that has chosen on his own accord to pursue you. I promise, IT WORKS, you just need the courage to take the leap.
- Never stop dating, learn to approach it with fun (the biggest part I’ll miss getting married would be the fun of dating new prospects!). It boosts your confidence as Evan teaches; do it with an open mind and realistic expectations (men show their interest with their ACTION or INACTION!).
- Never stop working on yourself, on your emotional well-being and on your ability to be the CEO of your own life in every area, you absolutely can;
- We see marriage as an arrival point, maybe because it takes so much time and energy, and painful experiences to get there nowadays, but marriage is a starting point as I see it now.
Life and marriage are a continuous process, a period of growth and constant change with occasional bumps in the road, so we have to keep learning and always count on our own strengths.
My final note goes to Evan and to his team who make it possible for women to change their lives for the better.
Evan, your advice is profound, yet delivered in a simple and straightforward way which makes it particularly effective!! Sometimes what you say may seem too direct, but that’s what it takes for wake-up calls and a-ha moments to happen!!
Thanks again and I’ll keep you posted.
With much Love xxx