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DISCOVER HOW SMART, STRONG & SUCCESSFUL WOMEN (THAT'S YOU!) CAN FINALLY Find Your Man
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Have you ever slept with a guy who wasn’t your boyfriend? Have you ever felt that it was safe because you were exclusive? Have you ever noticed that most of the guys you were exclusive with never became boyfriends? You’ve been falling into the same trap, over and over, and had no idea how it kept happening to you. In this Love U Podcast, I’m going to help you stop falling for men who are not worthy of being your boyfriend.
PODCAST TRANSCRIPT
I agree w this one. You used to have to get to know someone before sharing your body. Now no-one wants to get to know you. It’s become transactional, just without the money transfer.
Sure at the start, you get some of what you need. However eventually, someone, not always the woman will want it to continue w some level of deeper meaning and that’s when it will fall apart.
If you want an actual boyfriend, don’t fall for this one. Yes, it’s hard to hold back. Because, you as a human, need and want sex. But it’s worth holding back til you get something other than I like you OR I want access to your body.
You’ll avoid all the ‘I feel like I’m being used’, ‘am I just his free hooker’. Eventually you’ll come to that discussion w the loose boyfriend and then it will fall apart.
Even if you aren’t sleeping with them you shouldn’t be exclusive. It’s not real until he decides to commit.
Thanks Evan, I agree with this advice– problem is whenever I’ve stated that I only sleep with boyfriends, men have replied with something along the lines of “this should not be a transaction”. Any advice on how to better state this? Or did I actually dodge a bullet(s) in hearing such a response and walking away?
You dodged a bullet. I used to get that too but the guys who stuck around to be my boyfriends were all good guys.
The hookup culture doesn’t change hundreds of years of biology and programming; and women need to stop buying into that BS about men only want hookups and romantic dating is over (yes, men will push for that all day long but it’s not what they REALLY want)…men still want to chase, they are desperate for it because so few women make men chase, they don’t value themselves. Low self esteem with women is at epidemic levels in this country. Men want to win a woman over; and they don’t want what is too easy to get. Sex is the ultimate prize a woman can give a man. Men prove this over and over with their actions and women still don’t get it; dating apps and swipe left/right still don’t change this. Men are men, they have been this way for centuries. Or as my friend, the biggest inspiration for femme fatale I have ever met said “men don’t give me jewelry and beg me to go out with them because of what I give them; they give me all that because of what I don’t give them.” She is a wonder to watch and she’s not the youngest or prettiest girl either. But she has the “it factor” in spades.
Michelle at 3 – Yes you dodged a bullet. When he said “this should not be a transaction” what he was REALLY saying is that this should be a one way transaction that benefit him, and only him.
@Michelle
Sex means different things to different people. If he cannot respect your boundaries, time to ask him to peace out. In fact, you should walk away if you feel even the slightest judgement from them, especially when you are just talking and seeing each other at the beginning.
I am in Europe and ALWAYS date exclusively!
How the heck are we supposed to get to know each other if we keep distracted with other ‘options’.
Are we ‘scared’ to invest in something that might not end well?
Do you date multiple people until you are ‘certain’?
Life is uncertain!
I’ve never understood the American way of dating… it feels so impersonal.
And yes I am the ‘exception’ that got married with the guy she had sex on the 2nd date.
Maybe because in Europe we do date exclusively and get to know each other while exclusive with no distraction of ‘many’ people.
The man I am dating exclusively, I did not feel it… we though kept dating ‘exclusively’ guess what… we are madly in love now. Bond creates over time and with familiarity.