What To Do When the Guy You’re Seeing Will Not Commit

What To Do When the Guy You’re Seeing Will Not CommitDear Evan,

I have been dating a man for nearly three months now and in the beginning everything was fine between us. He used to do things with me, but I was wondering why he never introduced me to his friends or why he never wanted to come over my house. After 1 1/2 months I realized that he started to change. He didn’t call meanymore and he started to see me less. I once broke up with him for a week, but we got back together again and now he has even less time for me. He doesn’t answer his phone automatically anymore when I call or he keeps it turned off. I’ve become real frustrated and mad with him. Now I haven’t talked to him for a couple of days to see if he would call me, but he doesn’t and I still see that he is online at a dating site. When I met him he was overweight, but started to lose so much weight. Now I have the feeling that he is not serious with our relationship and still wants to see and meet other women. Please tell me what to do.

Thanks,

Ingrid

Thank you, Ingrid, for the cringe-worthy email of the week.

Let’s quickly recap:

  • 3 month relationship. Half of it, he’s been acting different.
  • You broke up with him because he wasn’t seeing you enough.
  • Now that you’re together again, he’s seeing you less.
  • He doesn’t return calls. He doesn’t initiate calls.
  • Has lost weight and is dating other women online.

And you need me to tell you what to do?

If you’re not sure how to act with a guy you’re seeing, just do whatever he does.

How about I refer you here?

And here.

And here.

And here.

See, Ingrid, you’re not wrong for being confused or feeling frustrated at this guy. But from where I sit, your issue is not that unique. In fact, it’s the most popular question I get from readers.

“I really like him, but he doesn’t commit to me/call me/treat me well. What do I do?”

So instead of saying “He’s just not that into you” for the 400th time, I want to use your letter to illustrate a favorite concept that I discuss with clients.

It’s called “mirroring”.

Basically, if you’re not sure how to act with a guy you’re seeing, just do whatever he does.

If he calls you, call him back….

If he texts you, text him back.

If he tries to make plans with you, make plans with him.

If he tells you he loves you, tell him you love him back. (presuming, of course, that you do).

On the flip side, it also means that:

Men reveal themselves in their efforts. Their words don’t mean a thing.

If he doesn’t call you, don’t call him.

If he doesn’t text you, don’t text him.

If he doesn’t make plans with you, don’t make plans with him.

If he doesn’t tell you he loves you, don’t tell him you love him.

This isn’t my version of “The Rules.” I’m not suggesting that you play games or refuse to return his calls or any of that crap. I’m saying that you should continue to be as real and authentic as you can be.

Just let him take the lead.

Because as I’ve said a number of times…

Men reveal themselves in their efforts. Their words don’t mean a thing.

If he calls, if he makes plans, if he commits, he’s interested.

If he doesn’t – if you feel you have to remind him that you’re alive and interested – let him go. He doesn’t deserve you.

It hurts to hear hundreds of women asking me the same exact question and genuinely struggling for the answer that’s obvious to everyone but them.

So once and for all, to all the women reading this: You deserve a man who WANTS to be with you, not one who acts like he’s doing you a favor by returning your call.

Please, send this article to all of your friends and let them know as well.

There’s no reason I should have to write this again.

But we both know I will.

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  2. 2
    Zann

    When I read Ingrid’s letter I got that knee-jerk kick in the stomach reaction. Ingrid, I have been there — probably way more times than you, because I’m way old, but when Evan’s right, he’s right. This mirroring concept is as ingenious as it is simple. And it’s pretty easy to remember, although I’m thinking of having it tattooed down my forearm for easy reference. Women are wise to be proactive when it comes to taking control of our lives, getting our share, fostering self-care and self-respect. But it’s easy (for me) to confuse proaction with attempting to take control of a situation that involves another human — more specifically, a human of the opposite gender. I, for one, resist the idea of being a reactionary. I would rather be the one to act, to initiate, to set the pace, because this is how assertive, smart women get counted — in the work world, the job market, politics, the arts, and even in our personal relationships, BUT when you’re first establishing a relationship which you hope will be intimate and lasting, this is one area where to NOT act, not initiate, to sit on your freakin’ hands if you have to, is actually what’s in your best interest. It’s also a loving thing you can do for yourself, if that doesn’t sound too cheesy. The behavior of your man is lame, substandard, or what I call hit-or-miss. I know if you’ve got feelings for the guy, it’s hard to see and there’s a tendency to explain it away, to try to figure it out. Thus, the tattoo idea. Please heed Evan’s advice and get your sweet self on a new path. Don’t waste one more second of worry or self-doubt on someone who brings you mostly unhappiness and who, for whatever his reasons, either can’t or won’t treat you with the care and respect you deserve from another human. You have better plans for yourself. Best of luck.

    1. 2.1
      Jem

      Thank you for your post. It really put something into perspective for me.

    2. 2.2
      Patty

      Zamm, 

      I really appreciate your response.  I have cried one too many times for this guy and I deserve better.
      Almost identical to Ingrid’s situation, I have been seeing this guy for 3months… 1/2 of that trying to figure out why he was so loving and into me for the first month and 1/2 and then going distant.  It made me try harder, thinking it was something I was doing or was doing wrong.  when I tried to tell him how I feel, he says  I am too sensitive and emotional.
      i see it for what it is now and it’s not me.
      thank you! 

  3. 3
    roberto

    ok, but what if you’re doing the mirroring thing, and 1 day she hits you with “it takes so much effort to be with you. Why do I always have to initiate everything?” True story. What should one say then?

  4. 4
    Evan Marc Katz

    Mirroring is for women, Roberto. Guys have to take the lead. It SHOULDN’T be so much effort to be with you because it’s your job to make her feel secure.

  5. 5
    lizzy

    I’m kind of in the same situation. However, we’ve been together for about 6 months. Lately, I feel like I’m the one doing all the work. And if I didn’t call to make plans, we’d never see each other. Hell, we wouldn’t even talk to eachother. It sucks because he was my best friend and we finally decided, after 8 years of being really good friends, to give “us” a shot (at his prompting, not mine–but I was totally into the idea).

    I would have rather he said it wasn’t working for him than to completely ignore me for the last month.

    But now I know. And I *do* deserve better than this. I deserve someone who actually *wants to spend time with me*.

    Thanks for the tip Evan. Something to keep in the back of my mind.

  6. 6
    roberto

    ok, guys need to take the lead. Not the most fair, but that’s the way it goes, so fine. But if a guy doesn’t mirror even a little bit, then how’s he supposed to differentiate between when a girl is “playing hard to get” (for whatever reason) and “just not interested?

    1. 6.1
      SparklingEmerald

      If you ask for her number and she gives it to her, she’s probably interested. *  Or perhaps she felt awkward refusing you to your face, but go ahead and take a chance and call that number.  If you call her and she actually answers, and it doesn’t go to voice mail, she’s interested.  If she answers enthusiastically “Hello Roberto !” she’s really interested.  You should  be able to gauge her interest by her voice tone.  If you get her voice mail, but she returns your call same day, she’s interested.  You ask her out, she says “yes”, she’s interested.  If that day you suggest REALLY doesn’t work for her, she says something along the lines of  “Ohhhhh, I would LOVE to do that, but I really, really can’t, but Sunday, Tuesday or Monday works for me, could we get together then ?”  You say, “Sunday works for me” she says “yes”, she’s interested.  You take her out, she laughs at your jokes, she smiles alot, she’s interested.  You reach for her hand, she doesn’t withdraw her hand, she’s interested.  You kiss her good night, she give you her lips and kisses you back, she’s interested.  You say, “I had fun, let’s do this again”, she says “Thanks for tonight, I had a GREAT time, yes, I’d LOVE to see you again” she’s interested.  You make plans then and there, she says “yes”, she’s interested.
      On the other hand, you ask for her number and she refuses to give it to you, she’s JNITY.  Or perhaps she’s not real good at saying “no” to your face, so she hems and haws as she gives you her number, and proceeds to tell you how “busy” she is, and her work schedule is “up in the air”, and she’s going to a family re-union in 2 weeks, but maybe in 6 weeks her “crazy” life will calm down enough to take your call . . .   You try to call her just to say “hi”, you get her voice mail and never hear from her again.  DUDE, she’s not playing hard to get, SJNITY.
       I actually recently met a guy named Roberto at a meet up,  that I was very interested in. He asked to get coffee after the meet up, I said “yes”.  He asked if I’d like to see his artwork on his phone, I said “yes”  and when he asked for my number, I gave it to him.  I thought I was sending him all the right signals that I was interested, he said he wanted to get together for a bike ride, I said yes, I would love to do that.  He said he would call me, but all I got was an e-mail 15 days later, sending me a poem he wrote.  (he told me he wrote poetry, and he showed me some of his art on his phone)   15 days later I wrote back and said thanks for the beautiful poem.  Never heard back from him.  So yes, if that was you, I was very interested.  Key word “WAS“. 
      I really doubt that you are the same artist/poet Roberto,* but you two seem to have a name in common, and expecting the girl to chase you in common.  A BIG TURN OFF !
      *If it turns out that you ARE the same Roberto, I think I’ll just crawl into a hole and never post on this blog again !  But maybe I’ll write a poem about it.
       

      1. 6.1.1
        Casey

        I know what you mean however I was on my first date in my 50s and a guy kept on trying to grab my hand. I did not even know him yet and he was really annoyed by this. We had dinner and went for a walk. It may sound stupid but we talked for an hour basically I did not want to hold hand with a strange though we hit it off famously. That being said I must say that we are still together after 16  years not married, we live individually and we are now both in our 60s. We help each other, we are companions to each other but we had been single for a long time.  He is taking me overseas for a vacation. He broke his front tooth and foot bike riding and I took care of him.  We love each other but he is a super neat engineer and I am an artist creative spontaneous types so living together would not work. We trust each other but still we had sex  pretty quickly even though I did not feel comfortable holding his hand on the first date. We were going to marry but I do not think it would work. He is inflexible where I am really flexible. He is a control freak and I don’t like being bossed around.  We can talk about many topics. He knows my children and I know his and it all seems to work out okay. Yet we can do our own activities in the day and hang out at night and watch TV and do other activities on the weekends. As people live longer and longer, I think marriage may not make so much sense. It might make more sense for the poorer of the two. I am not wealthy he probably is. I still do not want someone to tell me how to spend my money. I don’t want to buy everything at Costco. Nothing against Costco, I find many things there but I want my independence.

  7. 7
    BK

    I like the idea of ‘Mirroring’; it is an interesting concept and I believe somehow it will work with men. If a girl take the initiative to call me, then there is a higher probability of me calling her back and calling her more; especially if I am fond of her too. I would say it’s the ‘face’ issue as in man want to make sure or confirm that the lady feels the same way about them too before taking action.

    Evan is right about, “Men reveal themselves in their efforts. Their words dont mean a thing”, at least it’s true for me. I am generous with words but end of the day, I am an action man that would rather do it than to say it. However, always practise flexibility. There is no one true case in every situation.

  8. 8
    hunter

    from one to three months is the “perfect” period in a relationship. Everything is just right. For some of us, there is nothing wrong with 90 day relationships, so, I am told…..

  9. 9
    Zann

    Roberto – It’s easy to know if a woman isn’t interested in you. You simply take the initiative to call her, and if she never calls you back, then you know. For sure. As for “playing hard to get,” Evan isn’t suggesting woman “play” at anything. He’s suggested that if the man makes a woman feel assured and secure by taking the initiative to contact her, following up on their good times together, it shows her that you’re genuinely interest in her and, 99% of women are going to be very glad to hear from you and admire you for taking that step. What Evan is trying to discourage women from doing is taking the initiave, over and over again, to keep an otherwise lame relationship alive, when really there would be no relationship if she didn’t make the calls, set up the plans, etc. If the woman stops, the relationship stops, and then the woman feels humiliated by her own behavior and hurt because she wanted to believe there was more to it, etc etc.

    And Hunter, you are absolutely right. There IS nothing wrong with 90-day relationships. And think of how many of them you could have over the course of a lifetime! But here’s the thing, most women I know would like to have that kind of information right up front from a man, so by honestly disclosing in your online profile that you’re in it for 3 months, tops, then that’s a clear signal to all those women who also love 90-day relationships that You’re Their Man. Then the women who want something a little more indepth can concentrate on the other men who are also looking for something a little longer, a little deeper. Then everyone’s happy. I know it’s not as fun as turning a woman’s head in that initial “perfect” period, filling her with all that talk about how great she is & how you’re going to have great times in the future, then making your exit when your attention span starts to sputter & your mind to wander, but, well, we all have to make sacrifices. So, Happy Hunting, you 90-day wonder, you!

  10. 10
    downtowngal

    Zann, I think Hunter was joking about the 90-day relationship idea. But let’s say he’s not – in theory it sounds good if someone says upfront that they’re only in for 90 days, but let’s be realisitic – most people aren’t that calculating, and if a guy says this there’s a good chance he wouldn’t get to sleep with her instead of leading her to think that he’ll commit for the long term.

  11. 11
    WannaGetMatzoBalled

    Oy. That sickening realization that the relationship was limping along only through your valiant efforts. And that horrible feeling as you come to grips with it, and start to examine all the instances you should have read the signs, and the humiliation as you realize just how many there were. That’s exactly the feeling we should hang on to when we start to wonder what is going on in a relationship that is going south. Even if the first few slip by, being aware of the realities of the dating world should put it in perspective quickly enough. But we should also be nice to ourselves, because after all, the fact that we can give someone the benefit of the doubt or see the best in others is a strength, not a weakness. It’s not going to kill us that we overlooked some things before we caught on. I think keeping that in mind can take the sting out, at least a little bit, when these situations occur.

  12. 12
    downtowngal

    Roberto, I agree with Zann – if a woman complains to you that she’s doing all the work, perhaps you should ask yourself if you are truly interested in being with her or in a relationship at all.

    If a woman wants to be in a serious relationship she’s not going to want to waste her time with a guy who’s not taking the initiative – at least she shouldn’t, that’ what this post is about. And we’re not talking about playing games, it’s things like not calling on a regular basis, not introducing her to friends, mixed messages (coming on strong at first then going awol) etc. Too many of us have met guys we like only to be let down because they’re not committing.

    In my view this is why there are so many single people compared with our parent’s generation (I’m in my late 30′s). So much of the media points fingers to women who have more opportunities than our moms did, but I don’t see as much about men who for whatever reason are afraid to – or don’t want the responibilities of – being in a committed relationship.

  13. 13
    Zann

    Yahooo! Thank you WannaBeMatzoBalled. It’s nice to have that reminder about forgiving ourselves when we feel the sting & humiliation of being “fooled yet again” …..realizing, in retrospect, we were blind to the red flags. (Besides red flags are not always red; in fact, sometimes they’re an endearing shade of pale pink, and, thus, appear harmless, maybe even cute…. at the time.) And you know what they say about hindsight. But I’d rather be a person who gives the benefit of the doubt than be paranoid, constantly suspicious, and bitter. I do wonder, however, whether women are more prone to feel empathy than men are, because sometimes it seems this works against us in the minefield of relationships with men.

  14. 14
    Erika

    What I always ask myself in situations like this one is, “Is it reasonable for me to expect x, y, or z?” And I consider the kind of behavior that one could expect in a healthy relationship, and I compare my situation to that. I think it’s so easy for us women to justify the bad behavior of men–in fact, “He’s Just Not That Into You” is full of stories of women who justify the bad behavior of men.

    But if you ask yourself, “Is it reasonable for me to expect someone who loves me to call me a few times a week? Is it reasonable for me to expect them to return my calls in a timely fashion? Is it reasonable to expect to see him every couple of days?”

    Yes! It’s reasonable! It doesn’t mean you’re clingy or dependent. Too often I think we allow this bad behavior because we’re afraid of looking needy.

    There’s nothing wrong with having needs. We all have them. And it’s reasonable for us to expect our partners to try to meet them.

  15. 15
    Kitty

    It’s almost funny that Ingrid has to ask, but I guess when we want to believe something is other than it is, we become blind to the obvious. It’s easier to see it in others than in ourselves. Right on Ev.

  16. 16
    Xtremely miserable

    Hi,
    I am in a similar situation except that I have been dating my boyfriend for 11 years. We have been through alot together including 5 years of long distance relationship. 2 years back my boyfriend has the same issue where he just doesn’t return calls or smses when he was studying abroad, i don’t hear from him for weeks and he grew distant. That’s caused our break-up. We got back together 2 months later when he returned to the country. The relationship improved, he calls me regularly without fail, met all my family members, and he was there for me this March when my dad passed away being extremely supportive and even took me on a holiday. My birthday just passed and he planned my birthday celebration with my friends and even mentioned about saving money for wedding funds. But two weeks ago, he started his dissapearing act again. He doesn’t return calls or sms. I emailed him and he will email replies only few days later saying he is busy. I have not seen him for 2 weeks. I rang him and smsed him today he didn’t answer again or return my calls. When i emailed him, he briefly reply he is going away for the weekend for work. When I asked him for details he didn’t reply. Why he is not answering calls but replying emails? This is a public holiday weekend and I am devastated that he didn’t even bother to ring me to tell me he is going away until i emailed him. How can someone’s feelings changed so suddenly? Based on your replies, I know he is not into me anymore and no one can be too busy to not call or answer calls for two weeks. I am devastated especially I have spend 11 years with him, am dying a slow death feeling. Help!!

    1. 16.1
      N

      I’ve been with mine for 7 years and he’s doing the similar things.
      Bottom line they are selfish. they changed and your feelings no longer matter. Sad to say. I’ve been in denial for a while. I know I’m gonna have to let go despite everything. Gotta love yourself first.

  17. 17
    downtowngal

    xtremely, it sounds like your bf is getting cold feet and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. After 11 years if he can’t return a phone call then imagine what it would be like if you were married to him. He won’t change, the only thing you can do is cut your losses, as painful as it seems now.

    1. 17.1
      JV

      Dear xtremely, I do agree with downtowngal on her comment. I’m not sure what your bf does for work but having to work over the public holiday weekend, and not telling you as well in advance…sounds like alarm bells ringing to me. You deserve much better waiting on him this long. 
      I just want to copy as well what Evant wrote earlier…. “if you feel you have to remind him that you’re alive and interested – let him go. He doesn’t deserve you.” Best of luck.

  18. 18
    HopelessRomantic

    I agree with all of you and thanks for posting all your thoughts here.
    It helped me at this point with my situation.

  19. 19
    Illinoisgirl

    Hi Xtremely,

    My heart goes out to you. I agree that it sounds like your bf has a bad case of cold feet. After 11 years of dating, he probably feels a little pressured and realizes the only logical next step in marriage, but he is not going there for his own reasons.

    Frankly I am surprized you have hung in there this long! I should talk, I was in one relationship for seven years. The jerk ended up walking out on me two weeks after my mother died and marrying someone else a year later.

    There should be an expiration date on dating, like sour milk. If BF doesn’t ask you to marry after a year, you toss the relationship!

    1. 19.1
      N

      I agree with you @Illinoisgirl I’ve been with mine
       for Seven years and I know I’m gonna have to go. He won’t
      go beyond the engagement ring. That engagement has went
      on long enough. He has cold feet. He doesn’t communicate any more.
      I hate the fact that all my time has been wasted for nothing.

  20. 20
    Julz

    When I waited for the man to call me he said that it was rude to expect the man to call first. I waited a week and he said “Hi, so you do remember me? and “I thought you found someone else”. He was the one to stop the relationship! What do you do then? What if you wait and he is expecting you to call?

  21. 21
    Selena

    “It’s rude to expect the man to call first”? Where did he get that from? I don’t know what to tell you Julz, I’ve never met anyone who thought that way.

  22. 22
    Julz

    He really is different. Isn’t he? I think he expected me to call him first but I didn’t. I never met his friends or family but he called me recently from a mates house. They are asking him about me while we are on the phone together. I asked him what his friends were going to say about me and he said he’ll tell them to mind their own business. I don’t think so! Why did he call me when he was with them? Was it to boost his ego?

  23. 23
    BK

    Hi Xtremely, on a positive note, he might be really busy or something really cropped up and he does not know how to tell you. He might be preparing something since he planned with your friends for your birthday and talked about wedding fund.

    On the negative note, as what downtowngal said, “cut losses.”

  24. 24
    verbosity

    I read Ingrid’s letter and thought there was no ‘relationship’ to start. Since ‘relationship’ means different things to different people, I define a relationship as beginning when BOTH parties agree they are to see each other exclusively, not simply when you first date someone several times before agreeing to a relationship.

    Analytically, according to Ingrid, the relationship can be broken into 2 six week segments. After a six weeks, he bailed, stating by action what perhaps he could/should have said by word.

    While Ingrid’s story omits many hard facts, this situation looks like one where Ingrid and boyfriend, met and dated for several (6) weeks. I suspect, but cannot prove, that Ingrid felt they were ‘together’ exclusively during this time. However, the pattern of behavior described by Ingrid (keeping in mind this is only Ingrid’s version) doesn’t paint a picture of a guy enthralled with a new girlfriend.

    I suspect that boyfriend did not view the ‘relationship’ as exclusive or with nearly the same importance as did Ingrid. Based upon the time frames and his behavior I suspect boyfriend simply viewed this as a potential exclusive relationship for the first six weeks. It appears that, based upon Ingrid’s story, he decided not to pursue the relationship any further.

    Whether his manner of parting ways (make no mistake, not calling backs and turning off his phone is definitely communication) is the best, that is another topic. I offer that Ingrid should have bailed after the 1st unreturned call.

    BTW, what I’ve said above applies to both genders equally.

    After this six week evaluation period, he basically bailed.

  25. 25
    BK

    I agree with verbosity to a large extent. In relationship, whether it is between family members, between friends or between partners, a different point of view or perspective in a subject can cause argument. Maybe one party could view it as in a relationship while the other party feel it as trying out to see if things work out.

    I read a story once about a boy and his father. The boy was planting an acorn seed with his father and after he planted the seed, he watered the seed. On seeing the worried look on his son’s face, the father told the son not to worry as by summer, the acorn seedling would have grown to his knee length height. The boy turned his face and asked his father, “Your knee or my knee?”

  26. 26
    Selena

    I wonder-since we know infatuation can blind us to red flags, or cause us to ignore them–might it also not persuade us there is ‘more’ of a relationship than there actually is? When someone backs off after a month or so we wonder what happened? How did we misread their interest? Could it be that some of the ‘signs’ we interpret as a growing relationship are often the exaggeration of our own attraction? The other person isn’t feeling it the same way, but we just can’t see that?

  27. 27
    hunter

    to Zann,

    …according to research and studies, we don’t see the red flags for the first ninety days….due to infatuation, chemistry, etc…

  28. 28
    Paanchajanyadha

    How long have you been blogging…your good at it.

  29. 29
    SomeOldBloke

    I am sorry to break this down, but mebbe it’ll help. This is probably cold-blooded insight into the male mind. Please don’t get angry; I will only be explaining what happens. I would also like for it to be another different way but this is what it is…

    Many guys I know view most women as targets, not relationship possibilities. They do not want to commit because it is not fun. It doesn’t give them that smile when they get home. They have seen Dad go gray and they’ve heard his youth stories, noticing his eyes sparkle again then go gray again when he comes to the marriage part.

    The great majority would rather have varied simultaneous, quick, intense, physical affairs than going the long route. There are many reasons for this. We all belive we are perfect and deserve only the best. While the latter might be correct, the former is seldom true for ourselves, much less to an external discerning mind. Remember that there is only one “The ONE”, so what is the poor chap to do meanwhile? No, most won’t quietly sit down at home while “the one” strolls by their driveway.

    There is a hard saying that applies in this case; “Enjoy the incorrect one while you wait for the correct one”.

    I haven’t even gotten into the “Men just wanna have bed fun” concept, but belive me it is true in most cases. Some even view it as a sport and keep detailed records -pictures, souvenirs- of “prizes” they’ve won over. Obviously, the moment they have it, the moment the want to pull their little ninja bombs and smoke out of the equation, lest they lose another fresh conqest. This makes them feel alive, smart, cunning. Boosts their egos (we could delve deep into this…) and keeps them occupied. It’s not that they’re evil or anything, it’s just the way many of them are. They don’t consciously mean to hurt you, but at the same time a case can be made women are temporary toys for them. And remember that men LOVE toys, no matter how old they get to be.

    This has a rather devastating side-effect: Men break hearts. Men do not think it is neccesary to marry you if they like you. “Like” might be your legs and not your heart, by the way.Most will avoidmarriage like the plague, specially if the feel their counterpart is needy or emotionally demanding. Many have discovered that “honeymoon period” and keep jumping from relationship to relationship to always live that strong, perfect romance. They are not looking for Claire or Anne; You could very well be Marie and it won’t matter if it’s new and perfect. The moment the woman starts needing them in a way they can’t or won’t fulfill (remember, it’s fun over everything else) they start going “non-commital”.

    Men know about this. Many are ashamed and would like for things to be better for both parts. Some eventually marry. But an ever-larger number avoids women as life partners for many reasons, be it masculine immaturity, our pleasure-oriented culture as well as some aspects of the female psyche that admittedly can make life challenging indeed.

    We must come to grips with the fact that men who are willing to commit are scarce, have their -valid or not- reasons for doing so and most will be playing. If you find one that’s really into you for life, analyze if you really want him and if you are OK on him give it all you’ve got. If you like him, but you feel he won’t walk faster, enjoy the ride if you want, DO NOT get in love and always keep walking. Remain inattached. Nothing’s for granted in this life. I apologize If I was rude and I hope this clears some doubts.

    Best of lucks.

  30. 30
    daniela

    thanks, I get it!

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