Do You Love Your Independence and Freedom?

Maybe you’ve never been married before.

Maybe you’ve gotten divorced and built a better life afterward.

But if you’re reading this message, you’re likely a smart, successful woman who, whether by necessity or design, created something that works for you: a career that provides meaning and money, a network of friends who provide fun and support, hobbies and interests that provide balance and variety. It’s a life you enjoy, not a life you’re trying to escape from.

At the same time, you’re conscious that you’re doing it all alone, and that it feels like something (or someone) is missing from your life. It would be great to have a man who wants to share in this life.

Someone who supports you emotionally and financially. Someone you can talk to after a bad day. Someone who celebrates your successes. Someone you can bring home for the holidays.

The problem is that you don’t want to give up what you have now.

So you’ve got dual goals that are working in opposition to each other:

How can you find a man who is 100% as committed to you as a husband…without marriage, living together, or losing your independence?

This contradiction lies at the heart of why so many women find themselves in disappointing relationships.

You declare you’re not looking to get married and you love your independence. You find a guy who is ALSO not looking to get married and loves HIS independence.

Next thing you know, you’re in a relationship with a long-distance guy, a recently divorced guy, or a guy whose ideal relationship is once or twice a week.

What you don’t get is a man who will be there for you when your mother is ill, a man who treats your kids like his own, a man who will rearrange his schedule and make you his top priority.

THAT’s the cost of choosing freedom and independence.

Listen, there are many ways to find love and many different working models. But as a dating coach for successful, independent women, I couldn’t help but notice that most of them want a man who is devoted like a spouse… but doesn’t impinge on your life at all.

A relationship-oriented man wants to be needed, valued, and prioritized, too.

To be clear, I’m not telling you to give up what makes you happy.

You can have your life AND a life partner. But if you prioritize freedom and independence OVER a partner, you can’t be too surprised if you’re still standing alone.

The tricky part is holding onto both truths at the same time. You love your independence and you also want a man who’s fully devoted to you.

Love,

Evan