How to Date with Confidence When You’re Not Really Feeling It

love u podcast

After a lifetime of disappointing men, questionable choices and broken hearts, it’s tempting to want to give up on love forever. In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I’m going to tell you an inspirational story of why it’s important to persevere and how quickly your romantic fortunes can turn around.

Watch: YouTube

Enjoy the podcast? Please leave a short review on iTunes by clicking “View in iTunes” and then “Ratings and Reviews.”

Join our conversation (15 Comments).
Click Here To Leave Your Comment Below.


  1. 1

    How do you view part 2?

  2. 3

    Thanks Evan. Part 2 never came up on YouTube, but I was able to get to it from the ‘download’ option.

  3. 4
    Evan Marc Katz

    Promise you that if you watch Part 1 until the end, there’s a button on screen to click to Part II.

  4. 5

    You have to ask yourself, is fear or is it apathy?   Sometimes a little bit of insecurity are a good thing. I think a fear of rejection is an indicator of authenticity.   It means you are real and that you value a someone  or a relationship.   If you have the opportunity to meet men and date men but you never do, if every man you meet is “meh”,   then a man  may not be that valuable to you.

    1. 5.1

      MilkyMae said: “… if every man you meet is “meh”,   then a man  may not be that valuable to you.

      That is a very wise statement.

      I often think that the gender-opposite of that may be part of my problem.
      “If you are having problems finding a woman, then having a woman may not be that important or valuable to you.” – (I’m speaking to myself here.)

      I am in my mid 50’s; I am a child of divorce, with an abusive father and distant mother; I divorced decades ago from a woman who even the marriage counselor asked me “dude, why?”; I’ve learned to live [mostly] completely and happily without a woman; I have lived most of my life in what is mainly oil country, where most of the guys I know are either single or unhappily married, and where most of the women are superficial and gold diggers.

      On a first meeting or a first date if I see [what I classify as] any red flags (I like tall men, I like rich men, I like expensive cars, I like expensive houses, etc.), or if she just seems too interested in herself, or if she doesn’t seem that interested in me or an equal relationship during a date, I’ll basically wander away and lose all interest.

  5. 6

    This podcast hit close to home. I believe that this is what I’m doing.

    I’m a 49 y/o, divorced, single mom to 2 teen boys. I WANT to date, but have a history of choosing men who are emotionally unavailable, after 2 failed/abusive marriages. I have tried online dating, only to get discouraged by the lack of ‘good’ guys, or hurt by the ones that I’ve chosen to give a chance. I have done a lot of work on personal healing and growth and feel that I’m ready for a healthy relationship, but I keep finding myself making excuses as to why I shouldn’t go back online. Right now, that excuse is that my schedule is pretty busy with my boys’ school sports games (4 days a week).

    I just updated my online profile and pictures, and I’m getting lots of hits, but I haven’t subscribed in order to be able to see/communicate with any of the prospects. HELP!

  6. 7
    Isaac Nunoofio

    Some things in life can only be achieved by persevering. Getting to establish the right love chemistry requires patience, some trial and error, and being strategic. If you do not give up too early, your efforts will be rewarded.

    1. 7.1

      What an awesome comment Isaac. I really liked it.

    2. 7.2

      That’s a great comment Isaac.   I love that positive energy.   It’s very true too!

  7. 8

    I’ve used online dating for the past two years, met over 50 gentlemen, and never “matched” well with any of them. I’ve bought two of Evan’s books, read his newsletter, his website, and subscribe to the podcast. My experience with online dating is so frustrating, I’ve decided to abandon it as a source of meeting men.

    Please consider doing a podcast or newsletter on where to meet men off-line. Thank you!

    1. 8.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Here’s my podcast: Go outside the house. Smile and make eye contact with men wherever you go. Anyone who tells you there’s a better “where” to meet men is just trying to sell you something. Or you can follow Patti Stanger’s advice: “Want to meet a lawyer? Stand outside a courthouse!” Lemme know how that goes for you.

  8. 9

    I liked the podcast! Totally feeling unconfident with dating and have given up on thinking there are men out there that could be happy with me. Often feel like I’m too much of some things and not enough of others. Many guys have this misconception that when you were 20, you were this heartless heartbreaker, denying access to sex and love, wielding power Games of Thrones style. And now that your older, you deserve to die alone with your cat. The reality of women’s experiences show a much deeper story and how we come to the place we find ourselves.

    1. 9.1

      AllHeart, I don’t have grand words of wisdom but just want to give you some encouragement.   Believe me that not all men think that way.   After years of dysfunctional relationships, I finally found love at age 35, with a truly wonderful guy.   Believe me that I was where you were, about to give up…when all of a sudden, there he was (right on the heels of one of the worst relationships I ever had).   All around me, I’m also seeing other older women finding love left and right, with other wonderful men who think they are the lucky ones.   It is possible!   Don’t let other people’s negativity drag you down!

      And I hope you give yourself a break.   Like that quote says, don’t let perfection be the enemy of the good.   No one is perfect, yet all these imperfect people all manage to find love every day.   So it can still happen for you too, no matter what it is you think you’re lacking or have too much of.

  9. 10

    I am ready to meet someone new.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *