Men and Money
Money is a dilemma faced by smart, successful women in the dating world. Do you need a man to earn more than you? Will he feel insecure and emasculated around you? What’s the best way to handle money as a couple? Evan’s got all your answers on the next Love U Podcast.
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From my point of view, some of the ladies are missing the bigger point/greater picture. I frankly feel they’re wasting precious time worrying about the wrong things in life. Money isn’t a guarantee of happiness. I’ve been rather poor at one time and yes it sucks. But I’d hate to waste my life fishing in a fish bowl when a vast ocean lies ahead. Nobody is advising you to marry a deadbeat. When will it ever be enough for you? What is truly important in a partner?
“Our frustration is greater when we have much and want more than when we have nothing and want some. We are less dissatisfied when we lack many things than when we seem to lack but one thing”. Eric Hoffer
Being in a mutually loving relationship is the “good stuff” in life.
I was dating two guys recently and both made a good living, I don’t know how much exactly but I could make a guess based on their job titles and companies they worked for. Both never married and no children, so no expensive divorce or child support to pay. Both paid for few first and not expensive dates (happy hour drinks). After that I offered my credit card and they both quickly took it and told the waiter to split the check. Every time my portion was considerably less, I don’t eat or drink much, so let’s say my portion was $20 and their $60 but I paid half of the bill plus tax and tip on the bigger amount. It happened every time we went out and I just started to feel resentful and kinda used. If we alternated bills, I would be paying more as well, so there was no win win situation for me and I broke up with both of them because I just stopped feeling attracted to them.
Welcome to being a man! Come for the ‘privilege,’ stay for the disposability.
This was a great podcast, but I feel as though you should have presented the opposite scenario as well. I’m a single woman dating in NYC, and I make less than the median income on a meager postdoc fellowship. There are cases when I feel insecure when I’m dating men who make significantly more than I do. For example, they may make dinner choices that don’t fit within my budget, and sometimes I can feel some judgement for not being able to contribute much. I do try to offer, because I don’t want to come off as a “leech” as you say. But I also feel out of place when men take me out to fancier places than I am accostomed to.
“Equal” is a deceiving term. A woman who makes $150,000 year still can’t do many things most men can do. And vice-versa. Many, many women are tired of working at meaningless jobs and would rather work on building homes and families.
Too many older women wake up later in life wishing they hadn’t sacrificed their bodies to careers without the courage to tell younger women that family is what matters in the end. Sure there are those who aren’t designed for traditional roles. But the reality is most people can’t have romance and family fulfillment by trying to do it all at the cost of a meaningful home life.
The world needs more women with hospitality who watch neighborhoods, who know how to cook, and bring communities together. And fewer men doing cartwheels for women who only care about keeping up with the Joneses. We worry about who will pay, but we don’t even notice homes and roads are falling apart.
Let the sexes spend more time finding ways to complement one another’s natural abilities and gifts — instead of pretending they can do everything the other can. The real question is what kind of life are people hoping to build together? Hopefully one where dining out together is the point, rather than counting who got more out of it.